Before I start this post I have to ask you to pardon the pun in the title. It is not meant to be humorous, but it more describes the life of one who is closely connected to a narcissist. It makes a person feel nuts and also shrinks them down to a shell of a person. It’s a volatile connection that makes a person feel crazy inside and out, and can also be very dangerous depending on the type of narcissist.
A narcissist is a person who has no capacity to love, lacks real true empathy, and can be very demeaning. I read one woman’s article that likened the connection to “rape of the soul”. Paul describes a narcissist in his letter to Timothy when he spoke of a type of people in the last days. He also gives us direction regarding them. He says, “Have nothing to do with such people. ”
2 Timothy 3: 2-5
“ People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive,disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.”
The word narcissist comes from the name Narcissus in Greek Mythology. According to legend, Narcissus was a prideful person and hated all of those who loved him. Once taken to a pool of water to witness his reflection he had fallen in love with himself so much that he refused to leave his own image until he died. [2]
Psychology coined the word narcissist in that the personality disorder is of one who is prideful and hate those who love them because they can not love anyone else. The Mayo Clinic quotes some of the personality traits of a narcissist as determined by the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Illness). Some of these are:
A sense of entitlement, exaggerated sense of importance, requires admiration, takes advantage of others, unwilling to recognize the needs of others, (lacks empathy), believe themselves to be superior. [1] A narcissist is in love with only themselves and can not relate to giving real love to others. Narcissist/Sociopaths can be very dangerous in that they are apt to create and do evil to others. They can spin a person’s head around just by interacting with them.
Narcissists love attention and will do anything to bring it to themselves. They will dazzle you with their charm and then destroy you with their anger and brash ways, only to dazzle you again. Bad situations in your life with this person will always be YOUR fault in their mind and will make you feel that is true. A narcissist can be double minded and say one thing but do another. They can also say one thing and then contradict what they said right afterward to make you feel nuts. This person will have no compassion for you and will try to cause you to feel as though everything you do is wrong. Interacting with them will cause you to feel like you are responsible for the world’s unhappiness. They gain power and their worth by crushing others and need to do this in order to get their narcissistic supply.
They will back stab and triangulate you with other people in order to create drama and chaos. You will wonder why people around you seem to not like you. It’s because the narcissist has spoken poorly of you in their need to set you up for a painful experience. They truly thrive on the pain of others.
This is a real illness and there is NO cure. You will always know when you have been lured by one of these people because all of a sudden your life will seem out of control from chaos you can’t explain. If you meet someone like this, RUN! Nothing is worth the pain they create in the lives of others. God and God alone can deal with them, so please, do not try to “fix them”. You can’t.
Why am I writing about this? Because I know what it is like to have encountered people like this. In fact, I know what it is like to encounter a sociopath. Believe me, when you do, you know it. This person will screw your head on backwards and turn your guts inside out. They will stalk you, make you look bad, slander you, cause you to think you are the one who is crazy, flawed, or messed up. You will doubt your own judgement and your life will spin out of control.
If you are in a relationship like this, please seek out the help of a professional in order to be released from them. That is your hope, and hope in God. He will show the way and will empower you to heal afterward. In Him, you are in good hands. There is hope for YOU.
I want to pray for you :
Dear God, help those effected by narcissistic people to see them for who they are. Open their eyes and help their hearts. Provide for them safe escape and bring them to a place of healing of the heart and soul. Send them a person to lean on and surround them with peace, love, and acceptance. We thank You, Lord, for all You are and the healing You provide, in Jesus’ name. Amen.
In love, healing, and peace,
Pastor Jenine Marie Howry
800-421-1765
[1]Mayo Clinic. Narcissistic Personality Disorder. 2016. Retrieved from: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/basics/symptoms/con-20025568
[2]Wikipedia contributors. “Narcissus (mythology).” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, 16 Dec. 2016. Web. 16 Dec. 2016.
Life Lessons by Jenine Marie 