Psychologists tell us about the type A, type B person or personality. I tend to agree that there are people who are either on one side of the spectrum or the other. We don’t always hear about what I call “the lack of maturity” type person. This is putting aside that all of us have those moments of acting out and not being as “grown up” as we should.
Yet, there are those who tend to exude that lack of mature reasoning and almost seem stuck in a childhood type of mentality. I remember when my kids were growing up, there was the bully on the playground who always had to somehow “kick someone’s behind”, ah hem, putting it in a more mild form. Even as I was growing up I could never understand that mentality. More surprising there are adults who never got past that mentality and draw that type of drama into others lives like a boat anchor that sinks just about everyone around them.
Lately, and actually over the last several years, my life has been affected by that type of person. Not by choice, but I guess you could say, by proxy. It does not feel good. I like to drive my life ahead, leaving that which is behind to be my past, just like the Bible and God says to do. Sometimes its inevitable though. That type of person gets dragged into our lives and we find ourselves fighting tooth and nail to avoid the “reap what you sow” blast that comes from them just because they are energetically and spiritually connected.
Over the last few weeks my experience came to a head though. I could NOT take any more. The “lack of maturity” person had to be removed or I had to remove myself. Sometimes it is a matter of principle and sometimes it is a matter of brokenness. I found myself broken because I did not take action sooner. The last thing I have ever needed was a shattered life again. So I had to take matters into my own hands and request that person to exit, stage left. I’ve never been a hateful person but I found myself having those feelings and it sure did not feel good. You know, God hates. He hates sin. He hates divorce. He hates adultery, and He hates rebellion and pride. So I know to occasionally have those feelings is normal, but not to act on them because vengeance belongs to the Lord, not to me.
I have grown to learn to guard my gate as to whom I allow in to my life and who I do not. I have my own set of values and it is perfectly fine to enforce them because the quality of my life is important. We are only given one to live and I want mine to be the best it can ever be. This is the bottom line here. Some people just don’t care if they hurt or harm us. They don’t care if they keep us waiting, or if they take what is not theirs to take. They don’t care if they break someone’s heart or even if they stomp on it after it is broken. That is the reality of this world.
There is another reality though. God gave us family and I know I have a lot of God given family! I was reminded by someone dear to me that I am one million strong with people who are behind me 110%! Wow, that truth takes care of so much of the hurt caused by the lack of maturity type people!
I want to encourage you today and stand your ground and not allow yourself to be affected by those who refuse to grow up. Leave them outside your gate and don’t allow their influence to infiltrate your life. You deserve the best and you certainly don’t deserve to live with a broken heart due to the mindless actions of others. Keep in mind to work toward forgiveness. This does not mean allow them back in! This means forgive so you can be forgiven by God and also so that your heart can be free! Then don’t, I repeat, don’t allow them back in again! People don’t just change and even when they do it takes a long time.
Keeping the lack of maturity people outside the sheep’s gate. It will give you peace; the kind that God wants you to have.
Pastor Jenine Marie Howry