Up on the top of the most precious times in my life have always been the moments I joined couples in marriage. Every now and then I look back upon quite a few of those of the past and smile. I love the look on the grooms face, and the glow of the bride. Then there is the coming together of wedding plans which began very hectic and always ended up so beautiful!
Deeper than the ceremonial moment are the words spoken within the wedding vows themselves. Since I write my own for my couples, I like them to be honest, true, romantic, and touching. More than that, I take the vows I have them speak very seriously. I always consider myself a part of their moment as a witness of the promises they make to each other before God and their loved ones.
Beyond the wedding comes the marriage part of life. This is where the vows are acted out and enforced within the marriage bond before God. It’s hard at times. Marriage is not always a bed of roses. Sometimes it is angry nights, frustrating conversations, and handling difficult storms. I truly believe that those who keep their marriage vows sacred will always transcend the problems and issues that arise, with their hearts in tact. Those tho break them can expect turmoil and hardship. This is the reality of marriage and relationship.
If you want a great marriage, keep these things for your consideration:
Forsake all others and place no one else before your spouse (This means EVERYONE, even friends and family members are not before your wife or husband.)
Spend time together and establish trust because trust is earned not just given.
Spend time with mutual friends and family members and not divided by other people or other activities.
Have honest conversation and communication with the other person in mind and not just yourself.
Create a battle plan for when times are hard and set your intent to lock arms in the face of adversity.
Keep relationships of the past in the past. They are exes for a reason.
When your spouse is deeply hurting due to something you have done, or chosen, consider your actions and how you can change them to make things better.
Speak highly of your spouse in public even when things are strained between you.
Consider that marriage is a cycle of giving to the other. Taking for yourself is going to drive a wedge between you that will create hardship in the long run. No one wants to watch their spouse’s back as they leave. Don’t break the heart of the one who has been by your side.
These are just some of the things that come to my mind as I reflect upon marriage and the vows that couples take with one another. Marriage is a GIFT from God. To take it lightly is to not respect God’s gift. Don’t tempt your spouse to leave you because of an argument. If you really meant FOREVER and ALWAYS the day you got married then remember those words during every day of marriage. If you break the heart of the one who loves you the most you might regret it for a long time. Let love guide you. Not the love that comes from humans, but the love that God has ordained for marriage.
If you are getting married or if you need a marriage touch up, please give me a call and set a time to talk about some of the hard areas. Having someone who holds confidentiality concerning your marriage issues is important. Don’t trust just anyone but let God help you discern if certain people are trust- able when sharing marriage issues. Even higher, seek God and trust His words over all others for your marriage. He created it and He knows how to maintain it.
Loving you from here,
Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry