This is not exactly a bible verse. It’s just kind of an offtake of the beatitudes. I think it’s an important subject though. I don’t know why, but humans seem to have this compulsion to talk about things that really don’t pertain to them. I think maybe it is so we can take our eyes off of our own issues for awhile. For some, it might be to feel better about themselves. Regardless of the reason, we do it; we talk about things we have no business discussing with others.
Confidentiality is a real blessing. When we have been blessed with those who keep our issues confidential we have an established trust that is not only rare but a rare treasure. For the ones who keep confidential, it is a double blessing. Those who can keep others thoughts, feelings, issues, and life events private are truly blessed. They are those who others can go to when they feel the need to discuss something with someone. Being someone who others can trust is an honor.
As a counselor, I am bound to confidentiality. Trust is a must or I would not be a very good one. As a hypnotherapist trust is even more important because I deal with the unconscious mind of another human being. Personally, I love those I can go to when life is harder than it should be. I can vent, get upset, say things I really don’t mean, and then settle into solutions without the fear of it being passed along or judgement. It’s a rare find to have those types of people in our lives. Its even a better feeling to be one of those that others can vent with without fear of being exposed or judged.
When someone comes to me to “talk”, I’m all ears, and not mouth. Someone who needs to talk usually just needs to vent. Its so important to do this because it can harm our bodies if we keep it all inside of us. It’s even more important to know that the ground we spill out on will be solid and honorable. This means we know that the other person or people will not share what we just shared. Like I said, sometimes we vent, and often don’t mean what we say. We just need to get it out. Sometimes we vent and we need some input. It’s always a blessing to have someone else’s opinion without it being mandatory we do it “their way”.
Being trustable, like I have stated, is an honor. Even if we are not someone who is held to laws for confidentiality it is a gift to be someone trustable. To be able to hold in our hands and hearts the deepest thoughts, feelings, and struggles of another is a gift to be proud of. In a world where gossip prevails and where people tend to assume they know and then pass things around, it is wonderful to be gifted with someone trustable.
Be that person! Be trustable and establish the type of trust that will be a gift to others. Not everything needs to be opened up like a can of worms and exposed to others. Sometimes it is best to watch life unfold without an opinion or having to add our thoughts to what others are doing. Sometimes observing life is better than talking about it. This also builds trust. Talking about it just judges it and therefore judges others. It has a domino effect and tends to cause others to judge as well because they hear it.
Blurting out what we know is not always just merely being honest. It also is being untrustable. Unless we have the go-ahead to talk about a subject then our mouths really should be shut. Or, unless we have an issue to spill out to a trustable listening ear, we should keep it to ourselves. We are all here for one another but that does not mean we all understand how to hold someone else’s treasure in our hands. Building trust is just that; building. Creating a firm foundation with others takes time. Don’t ever assume that others should just trust you. If they see or hear you blurting out things all over the place you are not the first person they will go to when they need a listening ear.
Silence can be golden. Do you know what I mean? Practice sacred silence by holding issues to yourself for a change. Don’t be so easy to spill the beans all over the place. Trust is sacred and if you are trustable you are sacred as well.
Loving you from here,
Dr Jenine Marie Howry.