Twas the night before Christmas Eve, I was grappling with something that seemed to spontaneously seep into my mind. I believe things come to us for a reason, so every time something from the past creeps in, I try to consider the reason it comes to me. Sometimes, I believe, it is a memory that comes from the soul of those we love and have been connected to. In this case, it might have been the latter, but I am still not completely sure.
My firstborn son, Jayson, was a lively little thing. He always seemed to have energy to spare, except when he was sick. For some reason, he was prone to fevers, and they appeared for no apparent reason. He was completely healthy but often would have a fever come over him. I took him to his pediatrician often, but there was no real explanation. He had a dose of antibiotics and mostly a fever reducer to help lower the numbers.
He had fevers when I went away, when he was with a babysitter, when I helped a friend move, after I took him to a carnival, and many other times as he grew. Last night I was suddenly brought to the time he had a high fever after going to a carnival with a friend and her daughter. Both were in strollers. It was not a particularly hot day, but it was warm. I looked at him, and I knew exactly what was happening. He was becoming very cranky. Upon feeling him, I knew it was time to go home. The usual routine was to soak him in lukewarm water, dry him off, and only put on a diaper and T-shirt. I gave him some fever reducer and tucked him into his bed. I knew it was going to be a long night, so I settled into my bed with a book I had wanted to start. Every half hour I checked on him to make sure he was alright, and his fever was going down. He did not wake up much during those fever moments. He kind of slept through them. Sometimes we ended up in the ER because he would have febrile seizures. These are not harmful, but his temps really got up there. This particular night, he seemed to sleep peacefully as I continued to check him through the night and early morning.
I was wondering what the message was in receiving this memory besides the times I spent with him making sure he was going to be alright. I was a single working mother, and there was not a moment that went by that Jayson was not in the back of my mind. So what was the message here? I already have known I was a good mother. I took care of my child first and foremost. That is what love does. It cares. BINGO! Therein lies the message. Love is an action word, which is something I always have taught. It is not a noun, it is a verb. Love cares, considers, helps, hopes, and it checks in. When we love someone, they are always on our minds and we check in on them to make sure they are alright. Even if it has been some time since we have checked. Although, love draws us near to the dearest people to us. So we check on them often. We want to know if they are well, alright, what is going on in their lives, and if they are striving. We also want and desire connection! Love plays, laughs, enjoys, and gives. These are the things my firstborn son brought me. He taught me that love never fails, even when we think it has been unfair. There is always a message carried with it, and there are always tender moments we will remember with the hope of tomorrow sent with them.
Love, the greatest action word in the Universe, will always reside with us, and if we are inclined to give some love action to others we will reveal our true intention toward them. Love checks in. Love never fails. Love cares. Love carries itself on wings and will always be there even when we are no longer in our bodies waiting for our next adventure!
My sweet son Jayson left his body on September 24, 1999. Not due to illness but because the love of this world let him down. Yet, true love never has and never will. I will love him forever, and all of those who considered him to be a friend and part of their families!
Tell someone you love them today, and then tell them often. Even better, show them! Be consistent. Be someone that others can count on when the fevers of life come to haunt them! And be there for those who struggle. This world needs more of the kind of love that never fails!
Loving you from here!
Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry
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Life Lessons by Jenine Marie 