Returning to Ourselves

Have you awakened to understand you are born to love?
Have you awakened to understand you are born to love?

Have you ever awakened one day to feel like you have been on a journey, moving down a pathway you suddenly don’t recognize? There are so many elements in life that hit us and sometimes all at once. We often tend to get jammed up or just plain caught up in the details of everyday living. Distractions come at us continually like comets flying through the sky surrounding us, and before we know it, we are lost somewhere, not remembering why we are even here or what we are doing.

Are we lost? Maybe. I can change the maybe to a definitely since cycles we go through in this world constantly teach us the right way to go. Yet we are so caught up and distracted by everyday drama, trying to get ahead, or relationship issues. So much movement and we are getting nowhere faster.

Can you close your eyes and just say, “Stop!” for a minute? Stop the drama, worry, movement in the wrong directions, and pulling one another down to a level of disruption instead of lifting each other up. Stop and just allow yourself to feel. What is going on in there? Is there disruption, or is there an eruption of the newness of life and love? If there is disruption, take more than a moment and do as Marianne Williamson put out there in her book, “A Return to Love.” Can you return completely to love?

As I meditate, I often wonder if we have come so far away from true love, or is it that we have not yet wholly found it? Have we ever really, truly loved, or has it been light-years away, lost in some cosmic energy field? I have to believe that the One who created us with so much originality and power gave us everything we could possibly need to find the One who is completely love. Then when we look hard enough, stay focused enough, we discover that the love of our Creator is in everything and everyone alive on this planet.

The planet itself is alive! How could we even watch the seasons, see the animals and plants grow, or witness the birth of a newborn baby and not believe that love has had us all in its grasp all along? We have just been too busy to remember how powerful we are and how much love gives to us daily. We are born from a divine inspiration that is perfect in every way! How could we not pass that inspiration along to everyone we see and encounter?

A while back, I was blessed to meet author Barbara Rose, better known as “Born to Inspire,” and the best-selling author of about 33 plus books. Meeting her in person was inspiration itself and a reminder that we are not just born to live, work and then pass to another form. We are here “on purpose.” We are here to inspire. We are here to love and to be loved! Are you waking up now?

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph.D.

Awakening

When someone awakens, they come to a realization or awareness about something more vast in life. This is not just merely opening one’s eyes to see but one’s heart to embrace, one’s mind to understand, and one’s spirit to embrace truth. The response to awakening to a new understanding concerning our existence, spiritual truths, and new concepts is like waking up on Christmas day and discovering a whole new type of gift waiting to be unveiled.

There is a child-like innocent joyfulness to begin to walk with a more open heart and embrace truths that once were in the dark but are now exposed to the mind. Once things are exposed, they can not be covered again. Even if an individual tries to turn a blind eye to them, they transcend the darkness within a person’s own spiritual sight. Once we understand something to be true, it can not be untrue again. Once we understand, we can not misunderstand. Once we see, we can not go back to being blind. The gravitational pull toward the honesty within the soul can never return to where it was.

Awakening is arising to embrace a more vast understanding of who we are, why we are here, and our divine purpose for being here. It is a transcendent pull toward serving humanity from simply serving one’s self. This comes from our capacity to see ourselves as one human existence with many pieces within the puzzle of life. We come to understand what Jesus spoke of when He asked the Father to make us One as He is One with His Creator.

It is a new birth into a new and more broadened lifestyle. Awakening sparks creativity, charity, love, and healing. There is no healing without transcending to new levels of understanding. We can not heal stuck in the same mud we have walked in for years. Healing takes movement, trust, allowance, and an open heart. When we awaken, we honor ourselves as a whole and are filled with possibilities instead of hindrances. Jesus spoke, “There is none so blind as those who will not see.” He spoke of spiritual blindness and a willful closing off of what is truth. His description is true blindness that causes sickness of the soul.

Our healing of ourselves and humanity depend upon awakening to who we are, why we are here, and our interconnectedness to all of what has been created for us to experience. Our lives and existence depend upon our acceptance of one another within our fold because we are One in the eyes of God. Therefore, we must become One in our own eyes to be a humanity filled with love and God’s light. Healing takes place through accepting what is and rejecting what once closed our hearts off to the reality that we are nothing without one another.

Be all you can be, and seek out an awakened heart and soul. Seek, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the spiritual door will be open with light that shines brightly into your heart and spiritual eyes.

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph.D.

Does a Consequence of Losing a Loved One Have to be Job Loss?

Photo by Ksenia Chernaya on Pexels.com

If you have been a blog reader of mine, especially recently, you know my daughter passed away in August. It seems like a lifetime has passed because so many things have changed. One of the most significant changes I have witnessed in my family is job strain and even job loss.

Maybe we should chalk it up to the times and the reality, so many people are looking for employment that positions are becoming too easy to replace. No one is replaceable. We are all unique and bring special gifts to the table no matter where we go. It almost appears that employers don’t quite see things that way.

Let me fill you all in as to what happens when someone we love passes away suddenly. Our lives are turned upside down. Time has to be taken to work through some of the wounds created by the feelings of loss experienced by our loved one’s passing. It is a hurt that goes deeper than any loss anyone could encounter in this life. People are not replaceable. We are all unique and fashioned so that no one on this earth can take our place, not anywhere.

Grief never takes a holiday and continues way after the funeral of our loved ones. We might have a strong, enduring faith in God or belief in the afterlife, but nothing seems to console us from the feelings of loss and sadness when someone we deeply love leaves their bodies and our worldly lives. A huge hole is created where that one person used to live. This is how valuable we all truly are. Every life affects everyone around them, and when that life is taken, there is a gap where that person once was.

I have witnessed how the strain of loss has affected my loved ones, their jobs, and positions, the everyday way life unfolds, and the series of losses that go along with the extreme grief caused by the death of someone close. When someone dies, the jolt and reality of what has happened cause a ripple effect in life. Our lives stop for moments at a time as we notice over and over that things will never be the same again. I have found it very hard to concentrate on things that used to be easy for me. My nerves are on edge, my focus is different, and the very core of who I was has now changed. This reality presents itself time and time again.

Waves of grief fall all over me as I go through my day. My emotions and the way I deal with situations and people are different now. I have no time for emotional volleyball and no time for trivial junk thrown at me. My patience level is not as it used to be. Grief does this. It has a mind of its own.

The unfortunate part of going through this type of grief is watching those I love strain with their employers and employment status. No one should have to lose a job for the time taken to grieve or be with loved ones who are grieving. Where is the compassion of people these days? Do they have to suffer losses of their own to see what it is like? Do they have to suffer the loss of their jobs because of the time needed to process their sadness to understand their impact on others when they dole out the walking papers to those who have lost their jobs?

Let me give you a strong piece of advice if you are an employer or someone near an individual going through a significant loss in their life. Be compassionate and let them have all the time they need to process their heartache. Jesus taught us the great law of universal sowing and reaping. He warned us all that we will reap what we sow. This law goes for good things as well. Compassion will reap compassion, but just the same, coldness will reap coldness as well.

Be warned; God will not be mocked; we all truly reap what we sow in life. If you are an employer, remember to be compassionate and caring toward those who work for you if you want your business to flourish. Your livelihood or one of your loved ones might be the next loss YOU personally experience to learn the lesson well.

Don’t push someone in deep grief to their limit. Do you really want that responsibility sitting upon your head and life?

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph.D

Your Surroundings Reflect Back to You for a Reason

Photo by James Wheeler on Pexels.com

The world around us is constantly changing, and it is supposed to. Nature and our creative planet always reflect the condition of humanity. Our problems and issues we face are solvable if we always learn to ask questions to solve them. In the same respect, just as a body of water reflects the sky, our atmosphere shows us the conditions of our life as well. We could say life is always a reflection.

When looking at our worldly existence and surroundings, we intuitively see what requires changing in our hearts. Our lives, our love or lack thereof, actions, words, and thoughts all create the surroundings and lives we live.

Yes, heaven and earth will move at our thoughts, and before we know it, we are surrounded by synchronicities made available to us, reflecting the condition of our heart and soul. A soul reflection is meant to help us learn and make changes when we need to. Our lives are all about evolution, obtaining more wisdom, and finding more love within us to heal.

No individual is an island nor sustainable alone. Our lives are also expansive. We are meant to not only heal ourselves but help lead and heal others from the heart to a soul level. We all need others to step into our lives to heal, reflect, and honor one another. Unfortunately, not all of us have learned this, but sooner or later, we all will. It is our divine and human purpose of learning to evolve into a more loving nature.

We learn through our curiosity and inquisitiveness. We are meant to have the mind of a researcher, always seeking and never stopping. Just as a detective investigates a case, we are meant to analyze our lives, our soul’s condition, and our love’s depth. If there is a need for healing, we are meant to seek out that healing. Healing might come directly from our Creator into our intuitive nature, or healing might come from others who have been attracted into our lives through our life’s conditions. If anyone truly desires to become wise, seek God. If anyone truly wants to become healed within the soul, seek God, and meditate on what surrounds us in life. Situations speak volumes, much more personal than a universal encyclopedia.

Here is some advice. Don’t think you have all of the answers because once you believe this, your heart has become too rigid and prideful to continue to grow and heal. When you have healed, then go and heal others. Stay open, or your closed-off convictions will end up convicting you.

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph. D

We Don’t Have to Strive Hard to Get What We Want in Life

The word “strive”, by definition, makes me cringe. The basic meaning of the word strive is to make a great effort to obtain the things a person desires or wants in life. To strive creates an image of straining considerably. Fortunately for us, all this is not required to have all we want and desire.

So if we are not struggling, striving, nor straining for the things we want to achieve in life, how are we supposed to have the kind of life we truly desire? The answer is simple. We love it. If it sounds like it’s too simple to be true, it’s because it is simple! I know it sounds so very esoteric, and believe me, it is! Love has no choice but to be attracted to love. So, therefore whatever we love, and hold gratefully in our being will come to us.

We are so used to having to “work hard at it” to get the life we truly want and desire, or the things we decide will create happiness. The bottom line, if we are loving, we will be happy and are happy. Holding a vision in love in our hearts is the first beat toward getting the subject of our deepest desires. Our gratitude and thankfulness for those things bring power to love and helps lead and guide us toward our greatest dreams and accomplishments.

There is not one thing I have ever done or obtained in life that I have not significantly loved first. It’s because we live in a universe that returns to us what we put out into it. Our Universe our God, the powers that “be” are complete and will never fail.

Sometimes things don’t come to us in the form we think they will; they will come to us better than we thought! If great love has been placed upon it, then greater will the return be in the love that has been given. It sounds easy. It is easy. Jesus taught there is no need to strive for anything. If you take a look at nature, you begin to realize that the birds, animals, and plants of the earth are always given what they need and love to sustain life.

How would any of us be different? We are not! Close your eyes for a moment and picture the greatest treasure you desire in life. Allow that vision to travel to your heart space and feed it, love. Then send it out with great intention. Love it daily, and you will be surprised at what will come your way in the form of blessing, synchronicities, and even more…results!

Bottom line, if you can dream about it, love it and be thankful for it, you have it already! Just reach out your hands and be grateful. We live and love in a Universe that is standard, and works for us every single time! Isn’t that a blessing?

Loving YOU from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, PhD.

I Love You, Christina Marie

Christina Marie Reed-Barrientos

I’ll see you in the sunlight; feel you in gentle breezes. I will know you are present when thoughts come to me and objects seem to appear out of nowhere. I will hear your laugh in my head, and have sweet dreams of when you said, “I love you Mom”. None of these will replace having you here, but for now, I have no choice. I will miss our talks about God, about family, about things that make you mad. I used to listen to the sound of your heartbeat when you were so small. I would do anything to hear it again. Now it beats in spirit with the pulse of the planet. You are one of the strongest women I have known. I’m so happy I got to be your Mom, in good times and not-so-good times. I would have given you my own heart just to keep yours beating. But then again… you have captured my heart all along. I will miss your presence, Christina Reed. You were so unique, fun, funny, and a force to be reckoned with when you were mad! I smile when I say that. I love you dear one. I love you forever

Loving you from here,

Jenine Howry aka Momma

My Angel Christina Marie

Christina Marie 2/9/83 to 8/12/21

There was nothing about August 12th or the week before it that was usual. Life was turning upside down before my eyes, and there was nothing I could do about it. My daughter was in the ICU in critical condition, and I could not be there to comfort her or even see her. The hospital banned all visitors the day before I arrived. Keeping the faith is most challenging when tested the most, especially when the issue surrounds someone we dearly love.

My sweet Christina was leaving her body as I was on the phone talking to her nurse. Her heart was beating its last beats. Her lungs were taking their last breaths. She was saying “good-bye,” and there was nothing I could do to stop her departure.

My memories of her 38 years are beautiful and challenging, as many mothers have regarding their children. No matter what, nothing she could ever do would take away the way I always saw her. She was strong, willful, sassy, stubborn, loving, and very generous. I guess we call that a mixed bag. It’s something we all have; the good things and not too good.

She did some wrong things, but she also did some very right things as well. Her heart was always in the right place. It’s just her heart gave out way too much of herself. Maybe it was tired. Perhaps she was tired. Maybe it was just time to leave this earth. Who could ever know for sure? All I know is that no effort could be made to keep her from moving on.

All I can do now is hope the best for her in her new spiritual life, wherever that might be and whatever that looks like. I wish she were here in person to hug just one more time, but a spiritual hug will have to be enough. I feel the same way I did when my son Jayson parted this earth. The last time I saw her, if I had known it was my last; I would have hugged her for a lifetime. Since there is no separation between time and space for love, I know she is still here. She lives on with all of us who knew her, loved her, and appreciated her crazy sense of humor. We will laugh when we think of those moments and sometimes cry because we long for more.

We will remember her smile when the sun shines brightly. We will not forget she lit up the room when she walked in and smiled. I know I will feel her in the rain, in the warmth of summer breezes, and the cool winter frost in the morning. She is my baby, my daughter, my friend, and my gift. Nothing could ever keep her love from me or mine from her. Now she is a part of God, the God Spirit that lives within all of us. I determine to allow her to shine through me every time her memory comes to me and to let God shine through me every time I remind myself that we all belong to God first and not to other people.

Loving her from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph.D.

If it Was Real Love Would They Have Left?

adult beautiful bed bedroom
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I listened on the phone to a woman who was sobbing as she expressed her fear and pain. I’m an empath, so I could feel the pain in my chest as she tried to settle down long enough to even talk. Her life had fallen apart in one instant. Little did she know, it had been falling apart for some time. She was just not informed of it. When it all finally hit the fan, her husband she had been married to all of her adult life had told her he was leaving her for another woman. In fact, he had been seeing the woman for awhile.

They had been together through raising children, buying a home, planning for retirement, and family vacations. They fought battles when the kids rebelled against them, prayed while they were sick, held one another through unexpected funerals and celebrated every joyous event. Now all of that became a blur as she vented her feelings to me with tears rolling down her cheeks. I had invited her out for breakfast the following day; her heart was so broken she could hardly fix herself meals.

I wondered how someone went from being involved in the life they built with another, to starting all over later in life. It was mentioned he stayed for the sake of the children. I think its a very noble reason to stay, don’t you? Giving children a good life is wonderful and they deserve the best from both parents. The only part the husband had left out was he was planning to leave without his wife’s knowledge. She was hit like a ton of bricks with the news.

Her children were all off living their adult lives, and her husband was packing his bags. On top of it all, the house would have to be sold during the divorce so she was going to have to leave the home she spent over 25 years putting together. She kept asking me why he could possibly do such a thing? I can’t say how this happened but what blurted out was, “If he truly loved you as a husband loves his wife, he never would leave.”

They had many years together, building and creating a family. I can’t completely believe he had no love for her at all. What I can say is someone who truly loves another might have moments of reconsideration during arguments or hard issues, but the idea of living without the other never really enters into the mind of one who loves without conditions. The woman continued to sob and tell her story. I realized it was himself he was not loving. His actions had very little to do with her or lack of love for her. It was a lack of love for himself that guided his decisions at that time.

It’s hard to understand this, but we reflect in our lives the feelings we have within ourselves. We display our inadequate feelings and wounds by the decisions we make a long the way. When our lives go unhealed, and wounds unattended to, we create a mixed up mess.

She made it through her ordeal. In fact, she did better than she ever imagined, just taking one step at a time. He, on the other hand was stuck in yet one more relationship he wanted out of, not realizing the person he had left was himself.

We do ourselves a great disservice by leaving our inner wounds unattended. This does mean we need to dig a bit into the past and let our voices express the pain and sorrow created through our interactions with others.  We owe it to ourselves and others to heal from the inside out. Otherwise we make decisions out of the lens of the holes in our hearts instead of making them how of wholeness. Make a decision today to heal the hurts from the inside out. Your life and those around you will thank you!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph. D

My Children are Blessings of God: Rewritten from March, 2005



Photo by mododeolhar on Pexels.com

What is it about them that presses my buttons so much and can bring me such joy all at once? They are soldiers, spiritual warriors waging their battles with life just like it was from the beginning as they opened their eyes for the very first time and struggled to take that first breath.

They were so tiny and in need of every little thing to be done for them. So fragile and yet so vital to overcoming such odds since the beginning of their conception. Their gaze is illuminating, and little smiles can make the most complex heart melt into puddles, just like on the heaviest rainstorm of your imagination.

I never knew fully how they came to be who they are. I never really before took a second look. I only knew they came into being; they grew, demanded, and got what was wanted purely with the idea that they could not do for themselves, and so, therefore, they needed me. They looked up to me. I was the warrior queen and the protector of all universal hazards. I could ease the pain of a broken heart with one touch of ice cream, and suddenly this warrior queen they called “Mom” had brought about world peace and calmed the stormy seas.

Each one has delivered to me a message beyond my comprehension. Each one has given unselfishly of themselves and asked nothing except provision and protection. They are Gods and Goddesses in their own right, and each has created exactly what was supposed to be.

My son Jayson David has the strength of a warrior king. He knew and knows the value of standing up for what we believe in. He did it so eagerly and with such grace. He never questioned the loss of mortality in this lifetime. He only used the weapon of his determination to get where he desired to be. He came against all odds and many persecutions to be the man he was, and in spirit, still is. His laugh was contagious, and a person could not help but be “light” in his presence. He knew the scorn of his peers, yet he treads on, even if it meant death, for the end of the mortal body was much better a pill to swallow than the death of the soul. He brought “soul” to this planet, and with a soul, he still lingers to witness the injustice that took his life. He would give the shirt off his back to a friend in need, and if they asked, he would willingly give his pants too. That was Jayson David; that was his way.

Christina Marie is a willful young lady with eyes as deep as muddy pools. Her soul carries the stripes of Christ from a very young age. She bears anger in her spirit yet tempers it with humor and tenacity to get where she desires to go. No one comes against her and wins. She is a warrior queen, and she sets her mark on those that endeavor to take the life from her. She stands as tall as the mighty oak but bends softly to experience the tenderness of a small puppy she fondly calls “Blue.” Her heart is strong but can be broken so easily. She shows the battle scars of what life has done to her, yet the victories of how she overcame all the advancements of society she wears as her crown. She is a messenger of Goddess and takes no less than the best that life can give. She scorns all who would steal from her and yet understands their weakness to take that which is not for them to take. She is Christina Marie; she knows the value of standing in her powerful being, and because she is WHO she is, no one will attempt any longer to overpower her.

Sherry Lynn is sweet and kind. Her gentle innocence graces the room the minute she walks into it. Her light is soft and kind. She gives with no limits to those who are hurting and in need of nurture. She loves deeply and fully accepts all who come her way. She is Goddess personified, and her beautiful flashing blue eyes are the rays of hope to all who are lucky enough to be included in her living space. She warms the weary soul and holds her hands out to all who need to be lifted. She is wise beyond her years and her tears have watered many a garden which has sprouted new growth and continues to do so everywhere she goes.

Keith Charles is quiet and deep. He is soulful and righteous, along with talented and charming. He holds the gifts of artistic flair as a breastplate against the world of academics. He is not mainstream; he is the main line. He knows the value of a great hug, yet the tender soul that gives his love through his art still seeks them for himself whenever he is able. He is focused on the world around him with a heart that touches the animal kingdom. He is there for them, nurtures their being, and brings humor to humanity. He is often afraid but never shows it. He is brave and a warrior of peace upon the planet. He wages no war, only manifesting peace with the air of innocent dignity. He grows as the willow, constantly bending and riding with the tides of the earth.

Sarah Jenine laps up life for all it is worth. She takes in everything that is good and holds it dear and close to herself. She quietly journeys the winds of time and steadily steers her craft through the torrential storms. She thirsts for knowledge and writes about her life and her experience. She dreams of who she is and where she desires to go. She is an angel of hope to those who pass her way and teaches the discipline of academic achievement, and finds in it, her bliss. She is blessed to be called the “giver of life,” as her name states that she is, for she gives life to all who cross her path by the silent prayers she deeply keeps to herself like a treasure waiting to be someday opened. She alone holds the key to this box. She alone has held tightly the dreams, prayers, and visions of better days to come. Her optimism is complete in the greenness of her eyes, for she fruitfully grows everything she plants.

They are my life and my salvation. They who have looked to me for life and protection are the treasures and the gifts of many lifetimes, bringing their grace to me from sunrise to sunset. I have stood tall and often weak before them. They have seen, and they have learned. Each one is a piece of my soul and a part of the story I tell.
Their eyes were always watching. Their hearts were always learning, and now they are my heroes, my breath, and my existence. They hold the keys to my spirit and spill out the wisdom of life through their actions, dreams, and struggles.

Thank you, dear ones, for coming into my life and for choosing me among all women to be the one to bring you forth during this lifetime. Your teachings have been so valuable to me. Your love has been my lifesaver.

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph.D.

**Edited and re-written from March of 2005, copyright Jenine Marie Howry

Signs From Crossed Over Loved Ones

Photo by Leigh Heasley on Pexels.com

As a mother who had her son pass over when he was age 20, I’ve been so curious about the life that we call death here on earth. After my Jayson crossed over, I stopped believing in death, although we often call it that. I’m not sure “crossed over” is a good way to describe when someone leaves their body. I have wondered where we cross over to?

As Jesus explained, there is no actual death, just a crossing over to a new phase of life; being born again into a new state of being. Eternity is not for a few, but everyone. We were initially created as eternal beings in spirit. This remains the truth regardless of what our religious boxes want to teach us. I know my son still lives; I have seen the proof of this through signs. No, it is not an illusion, and it is not my wishful thinking or a coincidence.

Not long ago, I felt a distance from my son. I get that way now and then. I like to be reassured he is still with me. I know there will never be a disconnection in my heart because love can never be divided or separated. God made sure of this. Yet, I like to see some evidence. It makes my heart beat a bit faster to know I am supported, loved, and surrounded by my crossed-over loved ones.

So, I set up a sign by speaking out loud about what I would like my son to bring to me. I have always been partial to dragonflies, so that is what I asked him for; dragonflies. I don’t see them very often around where I live, so this would be a unique sign for me.

One day I came out of the bedroom, and my cat was doing crazy out in the living area! Upon the wall, high near the ceiling, was a huge dragonfly! I thought to myself, “Thank you, Jayson, and thank you, God!” It was not the last one for me to see. I had to take a long trip to my doctor’s office, and I had some apprehension about the long drive back and forth. I jumped into the car with my lunch and GPS to find the best route for the day. The moment I got into the car, a big dragonfly came flying up to the driver’s side of the windshield and fluttered there for a few moments. I could not help but smile because I knew it was from my dear son, showing me he was with me!

I know this all might sound nuts to some people but passed over loved ones are always with me in my life. They show me when I ask them to and usually not too often when I don’t ask. Now and then, I get a surprise, and something out of the blue will happen for me, to make me smile! Our love for those who spent lives with us will never die; why should we believe they have left us? Love is love in every sense of the word. After all, God is love, and God will never leave. In my world, so it is with our loved ones. They love connecting with us, and they sure don’t want it to be a spooky experience but a delightful one!

Experiment with your loved ones and ask for a sign from them! You will be surprised at what you might see in the days following!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph.D.

Prosperity Life Magazine YouTube Channel