Healing Can Be as Simple as Expressing Yourself

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When I receive calls from a client, it is often needed to simply voice their issues. Sometimes it is about heartbreak or something from the past that hurt them a great deal. Many want to know if someone they around care about them. My first response to that is, “Have you asked them?” Usually, they are afraid to ask because they have been hurt and rejected so much.

Rejection is one of the biggest roadblocks to communicating with others and offering our voices to heal the wounds that inflicted us. So many are afraid to step out again and honestly tell someone what is deeply felt. When our voices are held back either by fear or an overbearing person, we become stopped up inside like a drain that won’t flow. The blockage will create blockages also in our energy centers. Eventually, this will affect our physical health as well.

Our voices and emotions behind our expressions have been created in us for a reason. It is not only about talking with others but also about healing our hearts and soul scars. Without a voice, these inner wounds will fester and create blockages in our lives. Believe it or not, more people are held back in life simply because of the soul scars and wounds that energetically keep them closed off from what they truly want.

To get to the bottom line, it takes communication; it takes a voice! When we consider exercise, we either use it or lose it. It is the same thing with our expressions and communication. We need to use our voices or lose out on opportunities to make new choices and realize our dreams. When we neglect to voice our opinions, ideas, and hurts, we stop the life force flow from our lives.

Why are so many of us afraid to speak our minds? Most of the time, it is about not wanting that sore spot within hurt again. Sometimes it is about rejection, but another reason is the sense of judgment or failure. It all boils down to perceiving a loss of our self-esteem and self-worth. Sometimes we think we will be laughed at. Interestingly, many very successful people were humiliated and laughed at over and over again. At some point, they had to have thrown up their hands and chose not to care about it so much.

Sooner or later, we all need to face our fears. Opportunities will arise over and over to give us that chance to do just that! If you neglect your voice because of fears or false perceptions, maybe it is time to express yourself and move on. Healing only comes with opening a wound to air it out. It’s time, honey. Do it today!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph.D.

JenineMarie.com

Sometimes We Just Need to Be Heard

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I began this blog a bit more than 4 years ago. It was because expression, communication, and my voice are always my strong place. I might seem unassuming to those who first meet me but don’t mistake my quiet presentation at first glance, as one of a shy demeanor. I’ve learned there are moments to be silent and times when rockets need to flare out of my mouth because the subject matter is just that important to me. Bottom line, if its important its going to get expression from me. It might not win a popularity contest for me but I’ve come to a point in life where having the integrity to stick to my boundaries out weighs anyone’s thoughts about me.

I have thought about the reasons I often speak the way I do, and at the times that I do. I’ve learned the answer from having sessions with my clients. There are times when we need to be heard or our guts will pour out, fall out, or even explode out. We sure don’t want the latter! The human heart needs expression just like an artist needs a canvas and paint. Our expression is our paint and the subject is our canvass. Sometimes I know I paint with precision and others I know I need to splash the paint all over and in every direction. Its all expression. Without it and without being heard, we are a bottle with a cork stuck in it ready to give way any moment.

Nothing is more frustrating or more degrading than to speak and not be heard. Its like sound that bounces off of a piece of stone and floods right back into the gut. It creates a sort of tidal wave inside of me when this happens. Being heard is important but being heard and understood is even more important. I am not talking about agreement. I am talking about understanding. I truly feel that understanding is one of the greatest gifts that can be given over to communication. Talking to someone who will not hear or understand is like talking to a brick wall. Very frustrating. I’d like to take a battering ram and create a break in the brick in those cases. Hearing and understanding is a part of compassion within communication.

I like to speak my mind, that’s for sure. Even if no one wants to hear it. Even if no one agrees with me. Even if there is no compassion or caring. There are moments when expression needs to convert to communication. If you have no one to communicate with, consider a pouring out session with me. I kid you not, you will feel so much better. Listening and hearing are two other things that are my best friends within communication skills. A lot can come to light and more understanding even if its just to hear yourself express your thoughts. You would be amazed at what the unconscious mind will feed into your conversation.

If you need to communicate, let me hear you, “Sign me up”! Don’t allow your stuff to become an exploding volcano. Take it easy on your body and allow tears to flow but more than that allow communication to flow like a river. Illumination will come from it and compassion will be the gift you can receive.

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, Phd

832-484-8306  (for your venting and your need for someone to hear)

Do You Know the Difference Between Listening and Hearing?

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Living in a world filled with noise and distraction, its hard to remember to listen when we need to; but do we really hear? There is a huge difference between listening and hearing. Listening is what we take into our ears and process with our brains. Hearing is listening but also adding the heart, compassion, understanding, and emotion. When we hear we bring depth into our understanding of a situation or conversation. It is so important to actually hear while communicating with others. Hearing brings empathy while merely listening just transfers information.

It takes some practice if you have not been good at hearing or have not understood this. Meditation is one way to practice hearing. This is because we have to divert the thoughts running through our heads continually and draw them back into focus. A person with focus is someone who hears well. Hearing also heightens intuition. Someone who hears will intuitively know more about the conversation than just passing knowledge. We should be looking for depth in conversation not just making noise.

You will find your relationships will improve by practicing hearing. That means we honor the other with our whole self and not just our mind. We hear with our heart, compassion, empathy and understanding. So many are misunderstood because of merely passing knowledge and not truly hearing another in a conversation.

Your love life alone will improve just by becoming someone who hears well. Hearing brings honor. It means we are taking the time to truly pay attention with every part of us. In that way we honor others while we are conversing with them. If you really want to show someone they have value to you, then do more than listen. Truly hear with your heart. We are meant to have depth as people. Once again, this takes practice. Sometimes we don’t even realize how little heart we put into our conversations with others, especially in a world filled with technology that can be so impersonal.

Challenge yourself to be personal! Be a person who hears and not someone who merely listens! Watch how much your relationships will improve. Hear to have understanding, and then communication with compassion!

Loving you from here!

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

 

From the Closet

prayer-closetAs a little girl, I remember learning to pray in a small Lutheran church. I had already learned to  talk to God  on my own. My mother used to put me in front of those old black and white movies about Jesus when they came on around Easter. Talking to God was an innocent automatic thing with me. I fell in love with the Jesus those movies portrayed. I had no idea that prayer seemed to have some sort of structure, at least that is what I was picking up.

As time went on, as a very young woman, I started to hear about “the prayer closet”. Before I really understood what that meant, I had visions of me sitting in a dark closet all alone feeling kind of creepy and wondering if God is in there with me. It all sounded a bit scary! I guess at the time it never dawned on me that I could put a light in the closet so it’s not so creepy!

Matthew 6:5-6 

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room (closet), close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

It really got strange when I started having children. I would be in prayer, the phone would ring, a child would answer, and I would hear them say, “Mom is in the closet right now, she can’t come to the phone”! Now there is a lovely picture of insanity!

As I grew in my faith and understanding I came to know that our bodies are the temple of God’s Holy Spirit and He resides inside of us when we invite Him. The Bible also says we should pray without ceasing. It became clear to me that praying was something that happened from the inside ongoing through life. Talking to God and listening became a whole lot easier when I just let it happen as my soul moved closer to Him. Wasn’t that what I did as a child?

1 Corinthians 6:19 

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? 

1 Thessalonians 5:16 -18

“Rejoice always,  pray continually,  give thanks in all circumstances;for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

It has been a blessing because I also discovered that I can hear God very well this way, minus the creepy part of course! It comes easy because of the love we have for one another; mine for God and Him for me. Over the years my heart and mind turned to Him continually, not just as a friend, but as a best friend. I discovered that it is amazing to be a walking prayer closet. That way, I know I am ready to face anything at any time. I have Him and He has me. myfirstlove2

You would be astounded as to what you witness and come to know when you learn to practice inviting God into your inner prayer closet! The temple is empty without Him. Turn your heart and mind toward God often and you will see just how easy and natural it becomes to have a living Father who loves to communicate with you and instruct you for your life.

Holy Father, bring me to Your temple, Your closet, in my heart. Join me there, and you can be my God and I can be Your child, forever and ever, AMEN!

From the closet,

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

800-421-1765

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries

**Photo credit-The Rock Miami