Handling Difficult People

woman-yelling-5938034No doubt we live in a world that is filled with so many diverse people and personalities. In all honesty, this is what makes life worth living and exploring. We are “about” relationship. Without others there is no true evolution of our souls or healing of our scars. Keeping this in mind, there is one real truth that tends to bring grace, mercy, and understanding to the difficult personality.

Here it is. Are you ready? People act out of their own personal pain from the inside and they project it outward toward a person or situation that they feel is unfavorable. Usually it all comes out in anger or blame. Some people are consumed with their anger and resentment. Have you ever met the “perpetual walking bad mood”? They are difficult to say the least.

The real truth is, the walking bad mood has deep scars that create a vacuum or blockage for anything that resembles peace and harmony in life. They appear to just project their bad mood outward but what they really are doing is revealing their own personal pain. This might be on a very unconscious level, even unknown to them as to why they act or feel the way they do.

Do you know a person or people like this? Let me give you some insight as to how to deal with them. It’s more like how to “see” them. Their outer expressions are much more revealing than anyone truly thinks.

  1. First of all know and understand that people act out of their personal pain. Someone who is difficult to deal with most likely has an unconscious mind that is driving on auto pilot and they have no idea why they are as difficult as they are.
  2. See the God part within them. This is not as hard to do as it seems. Just believing we all were created in the image of God helps to reveal to us the great parts of difficult human beings
  3. See them through God’s eyes. You have God living within you. Consciously remind yourself that the part of you that inhabits God can look through your eyes and see spiritually, intuitively, and soulfully, the truth about any human being.
  4. Don’t return anger for anger. This only multiplies the anger that is already there. The Bible tells us that a soft answer will turn away wrath. This is truth. We can turn someone’s angry day into a better one just by being more positive and loving toward someone who is hard to be around.
  5. Know we all struggle. You struggle, I struggle, and everyone struggles. We all have soul scars from this life we have led and we all project them onto others whether we intend to or not. We are in this together. We all have been humanly flawed.
  6. Remember we carry God in our inner temple. We are now the temple of God who dwells within us and there is nothing more powerful than this truth in our lives. That power can be used anytime, anywhere, and with anyone. All you need is to believe and have faith in that power to heal and deal with another in order to do so.

Affirm: “I choose to see past the difficulty in other’s lives and actions, knowing we all struggle with them, and see the God part of each person. Because I know the truth about their actions and that God lives inside of all of us, I can be at peace with them. I have the power from God within me to overcome my own struggles and handle others as well. I see their expressions of difficulty and anger as the hurts that were formed inside of them as they have lived their lives. I wish and pray for them healing in the midst of the storms of life. I pray them healed and made whole. I choose to see their beauty and the treasure that they are no matter how difficult they become. What I focus on becomes bigger, so their beauty outshines any difficulty they might present.”

Ask God for the eyes of compassion in all things and you will know and understand how to handle any or all difficult issues with others.

Peacefully Yours,

Jenine Marie Howry

832-484-8306

On a Wing and a Prayer

Praying WomanDuring the days of the early church, the Apostle Paul never ceased to emphasize the power of prayer. Often from a dank prison cell he lovingly sent the new Christian church letters asking for prayer as he prayed for them. He made it pretty obvious that he knew the power that was contained within our Godly connection through prayer.

Jesus prayed often to Father God while on earth. In fact, He went off to quiet places and prayed passionately at the spiritual throne. In teaching His disciples, He prayed that the Kingdom of God would come to earth the same as it is in heaven and that we would all be one. Jesus angrily overturned the tables of money changers in the court of the temple and proclaimed His “Father’s house” to be one of prayer.

Now, we are the temple of God through His Holy Spirit. Nothing has changed since Jesus’ proclamation about the temple. We are the place where prayer is to originate and take up residence. Both personally and corporately our prayers press into the power of God and bring Kingdom dynamics from heaven to earth. Our prayer life is our wisdom and our connection to the creative force that brought the world, all that is in it, and surrounding it into being. Our connection with the One who gave us breath is our very life and remains our breath.

Our prayerful moments give us the power to face our giants, to fight spiritual battles, to learn to walk in wisdom and to wait on God’s instruction. In fact, waiting is one of the most powerful blessings we can receive. The Bible instructs us as we wait we can rise up on wings as eagles. There is a strengthening that happens as we pray and wait on God for His response. Waiting perfects our inner diligence and in that developmental moment when our heart is wrapped with God’s we can discover the ability to soar in ways we never thought possible.

Prayer brings us into the presence of the Godhead. Our inner temple connects to God in high heavenly places and in that moment we are completely One as a baby is within its mother’s womb. It is in those moments where we literally place ourselves into the womb of God that we perfect our faith, arise to meet our destiny, connect with the One true love that created all things, and find our identities within His grace and compassion.

There is no greater moment than those precious moments when the human soul connects with the love that eventually will bring us all home. Whether in precious silence, or in passionate petition, our hearts connect with the only thing in life we could not possibly ever live without; the God who knows us better than anyone ever could.

Take this moment as one to spend time with God in prayer and practice moments with Him daily. In practice, we learn to continually connect ourselves spiritually and to pray without ceasing as the Bible instructs us. Our lives depend on it and our destinies are driven by it.

Prayerfully yours,

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries

From the Closet

prayer-closetAs a little girl, I remember learning to pray in a small Lutheran church. I had already learned to  talk to God  on my own. My mother used to put me in front of those old black and white movies about Jesus when they came on around Easter. Talking to God was an innocent automatic thing with me. I fell in love with the Jesus those movies portrayed. I had no idea that prayer seemed to have some sort of structure, at least that is what I was picking up.

As time went on, as a very young woman, I started to hear about “the prayer closet”. Before I really understood what that meant, I had visions of me sitting in a dark closet all alone feeling kind of creepy and wondering if God is in there with me. It all sounded a bit scary! I guess at the time it never dawned on me that I could put a light in the closet so it’s not so creepy!

Matthew 6:5-6 

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room (closet), close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

It really got strange when I started having children. I would be in prayer, the phone would ring, a child would answer, and I would hear them say, “Mom is in the closet right now, she can’t come to the phone”! Now there is a lovely picture of insanity!

As I grew in my faith and understanding I came to know that our bodies are the temple of God’s Holy Spirit and He resides inside of us when we invite Him. The Bible also says we should pray without ceasing. It became clear to me that praying was something that happened from the inside ongoing through life. Talking to God and listening became a whole lot easier when I just let it happen as my soul moved closer to Him. Wasn’t that what I did as a child?

1 Corinthians 6:19 

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? 

1 Thessalonians 5:16 -18

“Rejoice always,  pray continually,  give thanks in all circumstances;for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

It has been a blessing because I also discovered that I can hear God very well this way, minus the creepy part of course! It comes easy because of the love we have for one another; mine for God and Him for me. Over the years my heart and mind turned to Him continually, not just as a friend, but as a best friend. I discovered that it is amazing to be a walking prayer closet. That way, I know I am ready to face anything at any time. I have Him and He has me. myfirstlove2

You would be astounded as to what you witness and come to know when you learn to practice inviting God into your inner prayer closet! The temple is empty without Him. Turn your heart and mind toward God often and you will see just how easy and natural it becomes to have a living Father who loves to communicate with you and instruct you for your life.

Holy Father, bring me to Your temple, Your closet, in my heart. Join me there, and you can be my God and I can be Your child, forever and ever, AMEN!

From the closet,

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

800-421-1765

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries

**Photo credit-The Rock Miami