Healing Can Be as Simple as Expressing Yourself

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When I receive calls from a client, it is often needed to simply voice their issues. Sometimes it is about heartbreak or something from the past that hurt them a great deal. Many want to know if someone they around care about them. My first response to that is, “Have you asked them?” Usually, they are afraid to ask because they have been hurt and rejected so much.

Rejection is one of the biggest roadblocks to communicating with others and offering our voices to heal the wounds that inflicted us. So many are afraid to step out again and honestly tell someone what is deeply felt. When our voices are held back either by fear or an overbearing person, we become stopped up inside like a drain that won’t flow. The blockage will create blockages also in our energy centers. Eventually, this will affect our physical health as well.

Our voices and emotions behind our expressions have been created in us for a reason. It is not only about talking with others but also about healing our hearts and soul scars. Without a voice, these inner wounds will fester and create blockages in our lives. Believe it or not, more people are held back in life simply because of the soul scars and wounds that energetically keep them closed off from what they truly want.

To get to the bottom line, it takes communication; it takes a voice! When we consider exercise, we either use it or lose it. It is the same thing with our expressions and communication. We need to use our voices or lose out on opportunities to make new choices and realize our dreams. When we neglect to voice our opinions, ideas, and hurts, we stop the life force flow from our lives.

Why are so many of us afraid to speak our minds? Most of the time, it is about not wanting that sore spot within hurt again. Sometimes it is about rejection, but another reason is the sense of judgment or failure. It all boils down to perceiving a loss of our self-esteem and self-worth. Sometimes we think we will be laughed at. Interestingly, many very successful people were humiliated and laughed at over and over again. At some point, they had to have thrown up their hands and chose not to care about it so much.

Sooner or later, we all need to face our fears. Opportunities will arise over and over to give us that chance to do just that! If you neglect your voice because of fears or false perceptions, maybe it is time to express yourself and move on. Healing only comes with opening a wound to air it out. It’s time, honey. Do it today!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph.D.

JenineMarie.com

Law of Attraction: How to Improve Your Life by Attracting Differently!

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Have you ever wondered why you attract the same types of people that are hard to be around? Or maybe there are wounds inside of you that you just can’t seem to get over. Sometimes we just want life to be better but don’t know how that works or what to do.

Does the Law of Attraction and Universal Law really help make life changes, and if so, how? Dr. Jenine Marie explains some of the answers in detail in this video! Please feel free to subscribe for upcoming new videos!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph. D.

JenineMarie.com

LifeLessonsbyJenineMarie.com

Hypnosis: What it is and What it Isn’t, Plus Some of Dr. Jenine’s Personal Journey!

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph.D.

There are so many assumptions and even misunderstandings about hypnotherapy. Many have no idea what hypnosis is and also what it is not. The benefits of hypnosis are beyond explanation because they are uncountable!

Dr. Jenine Marie talks about her own hypnosis experiences and also what hypnosis can do to change a life for the better! Also included in this video is some education about the practice. Decide for yourself! You can live the life you have always wanted, free from fear, anxiety and depression. You can change your thought processes and therefore what you attract into your life!

This very detailed video will help you understand how the law of attraction works with your wounds and how the practice of hypnosis can change it all!.

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph. D.

JenineMarie.com

LifeLessonsbyJenineMarie.com

Loss of The Lilac Center for Healing and Enlightenment: My Continued Grief

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As someone who practices positive psychology, I’m not particularly eager to talk about the subject of loss so much. When I do, I usually do so in the context of renewal or regaining what was lost. This time I think talking about my own losses is therapeutic. I also believe in living in the moment. This moment beckoned me to release what I am feeling inside and out.

In the early 2000’s I opened a place of healing called The Lilac Center for Healing and Enlightenment in California. I needed to do the healing work I provided. After having lost my son, I needed to give myself an outlet that brought a sense of goodness and purpose in my life. I built my business from the ground up with no help.

At first, I had the adviser line I worked on from home, and later I proudly opened my office in a nearby city. I loved my business so much! My clients told me they felt like they walked into another world when they visited me. I wanted them to feel a sense of peace, and in return, I felt peace as well. The best part of my healing place was I had the opportunity to use my gifts and help my clients transition to a better life. I offered hope, healing, help, and support.

I was privileged to hear the innermost workings of my client’s hearts. I listened to their pain, sorrow, excitement, and sometimes joy. I had the honor of witnessing healing from the inside out. The work I was doing was so much more than work; it was my purpose. Not everyone understood it, but their understanding was not necessary. I knew I had God’s blessing, and the hope in the hearts of those who came to me was enough to keep me going. The spiritual work I found myself doing helped me channel my grief into other people’s healing. I know not everyone embraced my beliefs or even my presence there. Acceptance from some people did not matter compared to the healing God blessed me to bring to others.

In all honesty, I often did not understand how it happened. I don’t question my Creator. I did as I felt led. The one thing I did not count on was a sudden divorce. After being married for quite a few years, my life suddenly came to a standstill. Please don’t ever think a marital breakup does not affect other people outside the marriage. I know the hardship extends its reach far and beyond the severing of the ties of a couple.

I can’t explain it all without writing a book, but I can say that my divorce was like a slow bleed in my life. I watched myself lose one thing after another. One of my divorce terms was I had to refinance my home in my name if I wanted to keep it. I had to keep it for my children, so I did what I had to do. Yet, no matter how hard I tried, I could not maintain everything on my own. I lost the equity line of credit through the refinance that helped support my business start-up and anything else when I needed it.

No matter how hard I tried, I could not keep up with the looming needs of my home, my family, and my business. I lost the company next. I cried for days in my office before I could even tell the landlord I would have to leave. On top of losing my business, I found out my new refinanced mortgage was running backward. During the 2008 housing crisis, when so many people were being foreclosed upon, I was soon to learn I had to be one of them. My home loan balance was getting bigger and not going down with payments, and the bank would not refinance me again with a new business loss. All they wanted to do was foreclose anyway. Foreclosure was the goal, and they got what they wanted. I lost my home. Even worse, my family lost their home too. The word depression does not even describe what I felt. I remembered when God had told me once, “If I should find myself waking up sitting in darkness, then He would be the Light that raises me up and pulls me through.” I held onto this promise for a very long time. I have survived. The only thing I have not been able to recover from was my healing center loss. For over a decade, I have not been able to come to the point of rebuilding it. There is no doubt, God has taken care of me, and I have taken care of myself. I have had to jump over more obstacles than I ever imagined. Still, I would do anything to reopen my place of peace and healing physically in this world again.

I need the work I do. My work sustains my heart and gifts me with a sense of passion and purpose in life. Without it, I still struggle with an emptiness that never seems to go away. I believe in universal law, God’s blessings on life, restoration of what has been lost, and the love of a Creator who never could let me down. This is the hardest blow in my life since I lost my son. I need my healing work to resume. I need to be the spiritual guidance counselor, the life coach, the hypnotherapist, and the energy master I have always been. This is my purpose, my passion, my reason for being present. Without my full purpose played out on this earth, I still grieve…

What to do When The One You Have Loved No Longer Loves You

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It is an issue that has plagued relationships since the beginning of time. One day someone wakes up and realizes their love given has or is no longer going to be returned. All of the time and moments that have been put into trying to bond with someone have now seemingly been wasted. First, I want to say; nothing is ever wasted. Time well spent is a lesson well learned. (I think that should be a quote somewhere)!

I don’t want it to appear I’m stating the process of grieving an ended love is an easy thing; it is not. The painful process of severing ties with someone you thought you knew is nothing to take lightly. Breakups are just plain painful.

Eventually, we have to pick up the pieces and move on with life. Expect this to be a process. Grief is a process. Recreating life is a process. So, what do we do when the one we loved no longer loves us in return? Let me give you some starting points.

  1. Face the truth head-on. Realize that your life has now changed; you have changed. What was once time spent with someone else will now evolve into time spent on just yourself.
  2. Take life as it comes; this sometimes means one day at a time and sometimes one breath at a time. Don’t expect things to fall into place in one second. It took time to create a relationship, and it will take time to complete your severing of one.
  3. Permit yourself to grieve. Cry, pray, and meditate on what your heart is feeling. Ask yourself what you need right now. The answer to all of your questions will be revealed, and you will be surprised at how much you know what to do.
  4. Celebrate yourself and the life you hold. I am not advocating that hurting in your heart is a time for celebration, but there is a time to celebrate the brilliant creation and creator you are. Remember, you are a gift of life, a unique creation in God’s universe.
  5. Make your moments count instead of counting your moments. I genuinely believe it is not the time we spend in life but the quality of time that makes a difference. Create cherished moments that become your own memories.
  6. Realize your own worth and gift to this world. Everyone has a unique presence and present we give to this world and our planet. Find yours in the light of where you are at this very now moment.
  7. Honor when your heart needs to rest and rest it well. There is so much to look forward to in life, but there is a time of rest necessary to recover from heartache.
  8. Know you are not broken but transitioning. You might feel hurt at the time, but your life will come back together in different ways. See your transition for what it is. This moment in time is a moment to form yourself again. You will be a butterfly again soon.
  9. Talk to those who love and care about you. Be honest about how you are feeling. Make sure whomever you talk to is wise enough and stable enough to hear your heart pain. This might be in the form of a counselor or therapist, but remember you were created for a relationship. We all need love from those whom you can call a true friend. Find those who are friends and not those who want just to hear your pain. A good listener embodies compassion for others, especially you.
  10. Love yourself. Learn to heal, to laugh, to cry, and be human. Give gifts to yourself in ways you never did before. The gift of a spiritual awakening is an excellent place to begin. You owe it to yourself and your life to allow the process of grief to complete itself. This means honoring your love as much as your hurt and anger. A life in balance is a life well spent.

I am sure there are so many things I have missed, especially some of the details that come from walking through the severing of ties, grieving, and regaining a new life. A good life coach or counselor can help you reprioritize your life to fit the season you now find yourself in!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph. D.

JenineMarie.com

LifeLessonsbyJenineMarie.com

The Haunting of a Relationship Ghoster

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When I was little, I had this massive curiosity about ghosts and the hauntings that went with them. True confessions, I still do! The type of ghosting I am writing about here is not the house haunting, chain-rattling, howling kind. Although, relationship ghosting does rattle chains. Let me sum the experience up in one word it’s HORRIBLE. Let me clarify what relationship ghosting is first, so we are on the same page. There are some characteristics of the ghosting monster. During a relationship ghost experience:

The ghoster might be, or usually is, associated with narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder.

There is no altercation or reason to believe the ghoster will be leaving your life.

Things appear and seem to be going smoothly with no apparent reason for alarm or concern.

The ghoster will not respond to text messages, emails, phone calls, in-person knocks on the door, etc.

The ghoster means to cause you harm, alarm, and delights in your pursuit, knowing they will never respond to you. They love that this causes you distress.

The ghosting intent is to leave you with no closure.

The list above is by no means an exhaustive one. There is great distress when someone ghosts another person. For the distress to be accomplished, the resemblance of a serious relationship must be established. The only way the impact can be as traumatic as it is is when we believe or think a strong love connection has been made.

Yes, this is horribly cruel, and unfortunately, there is nothing to do but get as much love and support from loved ones and move on. When someone ghosts us, there is no recourse. The ghoster will make sure you have nothing to hold onto, and the distress is massive. Ghosting goes far beyond the desire to not be with someone any longer. The ghosting person will completely disappear.

What Does a Mature Break Up Look Like?

Mature people will communicate their lack of desire to continue a relationship. When a usual relationship ends, there will be indications along the way that things are not working out. A mature person confronts their issues with someone honestly and openly, even when they know it will be hard and often hurtful.

Mature people learn to take responsibility for the heart they chose to be in a relationship with and do all they can to guard the painful part of a breakup. Breakups are hard enough. Even when hard feelings are involved, the mature person will still face hardship, work to make it easier for the other, and be open to communication.

For some reason, our advancing technology makes it so much easier to be a relationship ghost. Guaranteed, if this happens to you, your ghoster will make sure humiliation is a part of your journey and healing process. The ghoster will tell everyone you caused it just to cover their behind. Does this sound cruel? It is. It’s heartless. As I said, the usual breaks of relationships have a form of communication that will occur before it happens. The break might be hurtful, but ghosting is painful and humiliating. It is preplanned, premeditated relationship torture.

What to do…

If you have been ghosted and need someone to chat with, please reach out to those who care or a professional who can help you through it. You will survive! You might have a hard time trusting for a while afterward, but you will survive.

Nurture yourself, your self-esteem, and all of the beautiful things you are—Ghosters prey upon those who have beautiful hearts. Take refuge in the truth about who you are and the gift you bring to others. If you stay positive about yourself, past the pain, you will eventually attract someone who will value you too much to ghost you. First, you must respect yourself. Remember, you are worthy of love, and ghosting is not a loving thing. The act of ghosting is about them, not you!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph.D.

Knowing When to Heal Internally

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I’ve often discussed we are like transmitters that send out information over the spiritual airwaves. In the same respect, we are also like mirrors who show others a good look at themselves when they look at us. We can shine back at someone and show their light or respond when they lash out and show them their wounds. We come together for this purpose. Couples mirror one another often. When one does or says something mean to the other, their injury is imposing on the other.

Most of the time, the unhealed are tempted to take someone’s lashing out personally. It can be, but honestly, it is not. People always spill out their wounds onto others. Or they will help us process our own when we choose to react instead of search our hearts to find where we need to heal. An individual can always know when they heal internal wounds when nothing seems to affect them much anymore. Don’t mistake this for the hardness of heart. It is more like a coming of age from the inside out. It is a transformation that reveals we have grown, healed, and are happy within ourselves.

When growth is being tempted during these moments, remember we have the roots of unholy messes all bottled up inside of us. Many of us don’t even realize it because we are too busy blaming someone else. Life begs us to take a good look at ourselves. It is our responsibility to heal from the inside out and is for our own sake.

Realize we all have “stuff.” There are no exceptions. If you spend less time trying to judge others, feeling hurt by others,  and getting angry, you will have time to settle into yourself and discover where you need to heal. Bringing out those issues can come either willingly, or God will send a messenger that you attract to help do that for you! You can choose either one way or the other.

If you want good relationships, start one with yourself. Learn to love yourself enough to heal. Learn to accept you have flaws like everyone else and work on your wounds. You will know you have completed the work to heal when people don’t seem to rub you the wrong way any longer.  When your injuries no longer affect you, your responses will no longer bring you anxiety or anger. You will finally have come to yourself and stepped into your power!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, PhD.

http://jeninemarie.com

832-484-8306

Childhood Sexual Abuse: A Prayer to Begin Healing

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I know, childhood sexual abuse is not an easy subject to talk about, especially when so many people go to such great lengths to hide it and stuff it away. It’s never hidden as much as anyone thinks it is though. Of course God knows. God knows everything. Children eventually grow up to be adults and they become aware what happened to them was not right. Until then, the issue is usually stuffed somewhere continually adding to soul scarring. Life moves on and people get caught up with whatever it is that is being attended to at the time. There is always something, but deep inside the issue is still brewing.

It’s easy to pass it off because it only happened once, or maybe it will heal with enough love from someone else. Maybe God will heal it? Yet, unless it is discussed and dealt with it never gets healed. This is the truth. God can know but there are others who know. There is the victim and the one who did the person wrong. They know. Usually other family members do as well but don’t want to admit it. It gets shamefully stuffed under some seemingly magic carpet and no one talks about it.

Then as the victim grows up there are signs that come to the surface that everyone wants to point fingers at. Maybe the victim carries too much protective weight, or sometimes their life suddenly seems to be in disarray and no one understands, not even the one abused. Fear keeps it all under a boiling pot and a lid is put on the surface. For the victim it’s always fear of being shamed, people getting angry at them, leaving them, or even worse harming them. For the abuser the fear is always shame as well but with that comes fear of exposure for what they are and the hurt they caused.

I know this sounds hard but the best thing that could ever happen is for the lid to be taken off the boiling pot. Unfortunately it has to be the victim who has to become strong enough to make that move. Yet, it is the best thing that could ever happen. Only the truth sets people free and only the truth can allow things to be healed. Keeping things held tightly will only keep the soul sick for both victim and the abuser. Only soul sickness can cause soul sickness upon someone else.

I want to start the process of healing for you if you are a victim of childhood sexual abuse and offer this prayer. I hope it will give you an opportunity and strength to confront the truth with the one who caused the most damage, the abuser.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Your love and grace endure forever. For all of those reading who have endured sexual abuse as a child, I ask for the courage to be honest with what they have endured. Lead them to still waters with someone who will listen and will have compassion upon them. Father, You have witnessed it all. It will be exposed now or later but it will always be exposed. I also ask for those abused to have courage to safely confront the abuser if this is possible. Victory in all areas of abuse brings the biggest healing that could happen. Forgive the abuser Father. Give that person the ability to face what they have done and to be sorrowful for the harm they have caused. Sexual abuse might happen for a small period of time but the effects can last a lifetime. Father, heal your sons and daughters all the way to the soul level and beyond. Bring peace where there has been no peace. Bring humility where there has been no repentance. Please bring wholeness where healing begins. Surround Your children with love and compassion but I ask that You also bring discipline to the one who has caused more pain then they want to admit to themselves.

We thank you, Father, that you are a caring and miraculous God. Let the healing and the hope begin right now, at this moment. May tears fall and may they water the gardens of those who need Your help and healing touch. We love you, dear God.

Amen and amen

As always, I love you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

After the Storm: Healing from the Effects of Grief and Loss

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We have all been recently affected by a global pandemic that just about brought our world to a standstill. My heart goes out to all of those who have suffered losses during the spread of COVID-19. I know the grief and the feeling of loss. It is not easy. The news media only barely touch upon that part of what is happening because of this virus. Every single time I see the death toll go up; I think of my own challenges with grieving the loss of loved ones along my journey. Recovering is not an overnight thing. It takes time and understanding.

Our world has gone mostly virtual suddenly and seemingly overnight. Thank goodness we have the internet! What used to merely be social media is now a necessity in order to function in this world. With all of this said, I cling to hope. Hope is an extraordinarily strong motivator. My advice is to walk daily and take one step at a time but always have hope for a better day to come. They WILL come!

Biblically speaking, “hope deferred makes the heart sick.” This means without hope we become sick. The last thing we need is to become more ill. Heart sickness will kill the soul even faster than a virus will kill the body. Therefore, it is so important to keep our hearts light and shine as much light as we can for others as well. We are ONE world and together we will overcome what has been presented to us.

If not anything else, the pandemic has brought us all together in ways we never have experienced before. It has made heroes out of medical personnel and healers out of those who normally would not have ever stepped up to the plate. I believe virtually we can all be healers as well. It is why this platform is so important right now. We NEED to talk about it all. We need to vent, we need to cry, and we need to heal ourselves back into hope.

I might not know you, but I love you. Its God-given to love those we do not know. God loves this world and God will help us heal and heal the world we live in. Don’t we appreciate it so much more now? I know it is hard when we have lost loved ones. It is a tough road to walk. Will you let me be a part of your healing journey? I would be honored to walk with you through it all.

You can find me on Virtual Therapist Network at this link:

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

The Gifts of Time and Appreciation

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Coming out of a local store, I recognized a woman who was a part of my church. I had not been her Pastor for very long but I knew her from years gone by.  She had a look of desperation on her face and obviously needed some help. I spent part of the afternoon with her, helping her with some very urgent issues. Its always a labor of love to help someone who is struggling. I believe it truly sets up blessing in our lives.

When we were done I was amazed that so much time had gone by. It seemed like moments and yet it was hours. After our time together was over that day I took a look at her again. Her whole face had changed from desperation to relaxation. It’s like she could breathe again. Sometimes resuscitation is not mouth to mouth but heart to heart. As I walked her to her car she turned around to look a me as she opened the door. With tears in her eyes she said, “My life is better because you are in it.” I could hardly contain what feeling her comments gave to me that day.

Appreciation is a true gift to the heart. For some reason I want to call it a healer because I believe it is. Whatever might have been on my mind that day before she became a part of how it unfolded had just drifted away into another place. My heart became consumed with how much she appreciated me as a person and her Pastor. It was only some of my time and maybe a little help as well. Yet, for her it was everything. Her gratitude and appreciation was like an unexpected blessing and miracle to me.

We all go through things in life. We all have bad days and good ones. The ones that mean the most are the ones where someone somewhere says their life is better because we are in it. It is the gift of purpose and appreciation. God tells us that we perish when we lose our dreams and visions for our lives. We have to have them because they give us hope. She returned the blessing I offered her that day with feeling of purpose. There is something about knowing we are needed and appreciated that makes life a little more worthwhile. Even in our darkest nights of the soul, appreciation is a gift that brings hope like a lantern shining brightly through the dark places.

Don’t forget to tell someone your life is better because they are in it today. You will bless and heal them beyond what you even think.

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

832-484-8306