The silence of the morning hours are the most precious moments I spend. It’s the time when I pray and meditate with God to connect with the pulse of creation and wisdom. In that silence this morning the message I heard was how powerful a person is while being a compassionate listener. To truly hear the heart of another with no condemnation or judgement is to be the greatest gift to this world.
Compassionate listening is to be silent while someone else speaks and truly hear the heart of that person. This is true of groups of people as well. We don’t have to agree to listen and hear. We don’t need to judge or even come to a conclusion, expression, or solution. Sometimes people just need to have someone listen and to be heard. When we listen to understand we become an ambassador who connects hearts instead of repelling them.
The greatest honor is to be trusted with the thoughts, ideas, and feelings of another. The greatest gift is to listen without judgement. It is in that context, in that moment, we become the greatest ambassador of love ever.
If you have ever known me, or have been connected to me, you know how much I love my work. There is nothing more amazing to me than to be trusted enough to be allowed into another person’s heart and life. I count it an honor to be held in confidence. At times it has been to such a level, I have been told things that my clients have never revealed to another single soul.
There is nothing quite as satisfying to me than to know I have left a conversation and my client has had an “aha” moment, or has felt a great load being lifted from their shoulders. Yet, there have been those from time to time who have either come right out and told me I had not helped them at all. Or there have been those who have just quietly distanced themselves from me. In those cases I would get off the phone or go home feeling tied up in knots wondering what I could have done better. I took it hard and usually put all of the load on myself.
Comforting myself, I would reason that I am not perfect, and don’t know all of the answers. While this is true, there had been one piece of the puzzle I had not considered, “I can not assist anyone who does not love themselves enough to realize they need to make their own changes”. I can facilitate, but I can’t change anyone. Change comes from the inside out. One element that has to always be there is self love.
The amazing thing, is the most difficult clients revealed to me my own lack of self confidence and self love. Everyone is a mirror to us no matter what the role we play in one another’s lives. Literally, my rejecting clients expected me to fix them and I strained within myself thinking that it was my job.
Learning the lesson about fixing my own self, loving myself, and being confident within myself, has been a hard one. I’ve had to weed through all of the junk that led me to “people please” and allow others to judge me, or compromise my sense of self worth. Bottom line, we are all a work in progress. With my progression, I discovered it has been alright to walk away from those who dishonored me, because I could honor myself. It’s easier said than done.
This is the reality; no one changes without having to do the work and without finding self love first. Without self love we only live in the reflection of those who want us to conform to their image. I take a deep breath and relax when I remember that the only image I need to conform to is God’s. Even then, it is not God outside of me but God who is a part of my being. The power of love is in our own DNA. I had to get a grasp of this completely, or I would always feel like I would fall short.
It’s work, but when done right everything shifts in the right direction. People leave because they become insulted, irritated, or offended. I’ve learned to let them go. The payoff is others will appear. It’s like a miracle of life. Those that appear are the ones who are ready for what I have to offer and always give me the gift of appreciation in return.
This is the pleasure of life. Walking in the Light of love is always the greatest feeling in the world. Sometimes I forget, like I suddenly have some sort of amnesia. Spirit always draws me back to where I need to be. Sometimes this happens with a struggle but when I turn to the greatest love ever, I always remember.
So, with all of this said; the greatest work I have ever achieved was to love myself the way God does. When this happens everything falls into place. Resistance never allows miracles to happen. Self doubt and struggle will never bring balance or miracles. Yes, my clients have taught me the road to least resistance. The responsibility has always been their own. Mine is to be there, to listen, to interject wisdom when wisdom comes, and to smile at the end of the day.
A job well done always comes with a life well loved.
This is certainly a time in history where it almost feels like the earth is birthing. Seems we have been in labor for a very long time now. We have seen wars come and go, trends cycle and come back, and technology expound into things we never dreamed of in days that have passed. Some call it the end times, others a time of new beginnings. I suppose we all see it through the eyes of our own beliefs and perspectives.
The Bible tells us there is a time for all things under heaven. Through my eyes its a time of joy and a time of weeping. Some things are hard to watch and others are joyous and loving. I’m not sure they are both balanced equally. Maybe only God knows that equation.
I do know things are changing. We are changing. Our hope is we change in a good way. Maybe we can heal wounds, uplift our faith, listen more, and have more empathy. Our hearts all ache and rejoice at the same time. Change and labor is always hard. Usually it all comes with a lot of wounded emotions and tears. We do have hope though! Joy always comes after the hardest parts. I know I felt that joy when my babies came out of me and I held them the first time in my life. Maybe we will get that joy from God as He holds us closely after the hard part is over?
For now we see violence and destruction, but also deep conversations and understanding. It’s hard not to be angry when labor becomes more than we think we can bear. Since the promise to us from God is we will never be given more than we can bear, then we know we will make it. I know our tears are a watering place where healing and love can begin where it has been lacking.
When the season gets to be more than we wish it ever was, remember that this too shall pass. All things pass; this is no different. Our season is just that; seasoning brings flavor to things that are bland and in need of work. If we do the work, we will have the reward.
Feeling abandoned is horrible. Yet, it is only a feeling and not “Truth”. People tend to look at the idea of abandonment and believe it means that there is no one to turn to or someone human has left us. Although this is a human and valid feeling it is only a limited truth. The reality is we are never abandoned and never ever alone. Dark nights can loom up during hard moments. Our breath can feel tight and in response our bodies become tight as well. Maybe those that used to be on the other end of a phone line are not there any longer, but this does not mean abandonment.
God has given to us a sweet choir of spiritual support that never will go away from us. God’s promise is to command angels to watch over us, especially in times of trial and confusion. All it takes is to go out and listen to the sound of the breeze moving through the trees. There is a beauty in the sound and a sense of God’s support. The sun shines brightly and the sparkle upon water or in the green grass can be even more calming than even the voice of a human being.
God’s love letter speaks to us about never being abandoned as orphans. I believe we have much more in the spirit world than we often care to admit. Where do those ideas come from when we wake up in the morning? Or, even those spiritual downloads while in the shower, drying our hair, or driving with the windows down on a long country road? It’s God’s spiritual watch committee that is there every time of day or night. Angels are activated when we ask for them. Jesus is present even when we don’t ask. Love abounds for us 24/7. Just because we don’t “see” them does not mean no one is there.
Jesus said we are blessed when we do not see and yet still believe. I feel sometimes God allows us to feel alone so we will reach out to the spiritual support group we have but can not see. Jesus said to ask and it will be given to us. We have not, because we ask not. This means asking for anything at any time. God’s loving support group will respond with an answer, hope, encouragement and guidance.
Take it for a test drive! You never know until you ask. Believe when you do ask that you will receive. We live in a perfect harmonious universe that was created by God just for us. When your heart feels less than harmonious, reach out to the ones who have been created and placed in special spaces just for you! You will get a reply. People might let you down but God’s hosts will never let you down.
Not being self seeking can be confusing at first. On one hand we can not give of anything until we have it within ourselves. Being self assured, self giving, and providing self care are all good things. We do need to seek our healing, our inner light, and to seek out what is best in our lives. We give out of the overflow of what we have and who we are. We also self seek when we seek God to an extent. We seek to lose fear, define our lives, search out our purpose and expand our horizons. These are all great things and we should all do them!
I believe what the author is saying here is that love does not behave selfishly with an attitude of entitlement over the needs of others. It’s very different to be self loving from being selfish and self centered in an arrogant way. Arrogance is a form of pride that lords itself over others. The type of self seeking that love is not is the kind that says, “I deserve more than you because I am better than you are.” True love never sees anyone that way, but sees us all as equal even when we don’t all behave on the playground.
We might have different places we fill in business, in life, or in family, but we are all equal in God’s sight. To self seek is to seek without God, from ego and not through Spirit. God’s Spirit is Holy and there is nothing prideful or arrogant within the love that is held in God’s Holiness. Self seeking is also a state of division. It states that a person feels they are higher or above all others and therefore deserve preference over others. It denies the Oneness that Jesus prayed to “the Father” about.
When we are looking to embody true God-love we do not seek preference over others but see one another as equal. We understand that we are not completely whole without one another. Everyone is in a state of “becoming”, so not everyone will be on the same spiritual path as another. Jesus did not come to the earth to just visit so He could establish a set of people who would have it all and others would not. Truth says Jesus came for the whole world, to set people free, to show the way, to relieve us all of condemnation, to pour out grace, to teach healing, and point the way toward eternity. Jesus laid down His life for EVERY human being ever created and came to this planet. That means people who were before, who were then, and who were to be. Literally EVERYONE. Not just those who believe as He does but even those who do not believe at all. Jesus was and is the supreme example of love if we ever saw one. He displayed a love that was never self seeking; a love that laid itself down for those who needed it more.
Do you want to embody this kind of love? Its hard when our human side always will compete to interfere. I believe this comes from not being healed from past trauma. We only act and react poorly from our soul scars. When we are healed and clean from those things then God within us can become bigger and more profoundly present. Remember Peter in the bible? People were healed just walking into Peter’s shadow. Peter did not receive any special preference from God or special grace. Jesus said we all could do greater things than even He had. When He said, “all” he meant everyone. Only pure love and faith could be that profound as to heal others with just being present. Isn’t that the express image of God’s love?
If you have been following along with my blog posts lately you might have discovered my “love” series is taken from the attributes of love described in the bible in the book of 1 Corinthians chapter 13. Isn’t it nice that we have a guideline? I kind of skipped to this one because it stood out for me today as something we all should pay attention to in this world. We pretty much have a mixed bag of nuts here on earth, and I say that respectfully! What I mean, is there is a huge combination between evil and truth. Maybe it just seems that way because technology allows us to know more than we used to. Or evil seems to be getting more prevalent. A lot of the minor negative issues in our world today have more to do with impatience and lies. Then there are the real evil issues like bombings, murders and war.
What I am going to address are inner characteristics that have to do with God’s love and what it means to embody it. As you might have discovered by now, especially if you have been reading my posts, it is a powerful thing to carry. God’s love is so powerful, I believe it heals. I’m sure the purest of love was in Jesus as He walked this earth and healed so many. Someone who does not delight in evil is someone who always wants the best for themselves and others. This means even our perceived enemies or those who have done us wrong. Embodying real love and truth means we always want the best for people no matter what. As you might perceive, this takes humility and forgiveness. Again, as I always emphasize, neither of these means we tolerate bad behavior. It just means their behavior does not cause us to want them to be harmed in any way. We might feel that way in the beginning but real love will act as a covering.
In the story of Adam and Eve, God covered their “nakedness” in the garden after they disobeyed Him and lied about it. God saw through this because the Spirit of God is all knowing. Their nakedness symbolizes this exposure. Yet, God is pure love and can not hate. Within His forgiveness He covered them. In the story it was a literal covering of their body, but symbolically it is a protection from harm and an example of true God-love. They received discipline. True love always disciplines as well. We can not think we will do harm and then expect to not have it come back upon us, but God’s grace always protects and covers us when we go to the temple of humility and truth. Grace and forgiveness are powerful healers but they are always balanced with discipline and consequences. This is a part of our God created universe of law and balance.
When the truth wins out, we are walking in divine love and honesty. This means being honest with ourselves as much as with others. Actually, we have to be honest with ourselves first before we can be honest with others. Either way, we have God in our temple inside and everything is exposed anyway. Often, like Adam and Eve, we trick ourselves into believing if no one knows or finds out then a lie does not exist or we will escape the full discipline for our hidden actions. Not true. How can we hide anything from God who lives in us? There is a Scripture in the bible that says, “be sure your sin will find you out.” This means you will be exposed by the pure standard that is set up by the love of God. It is not that God wants you to “be in trouble” but to expose you so you will be disciplined, humbled, and covered. God wants healing and pure love and truth. True love always rejoices when the truth wins out.
It might not seem fair to not be able to hide in our mistakes and lies but actually the most loving thing in the world is to be exposed. How can we ever learn the power of true love if there is no discipline for our actions. So we can therefore rejoice when the truth wins out! Whether is it for ourselves or others, to see discipline within the truth is to see true love in action. It is a powerful cleansing and the beginning of walking in more of the Light of Life. A lie will bring spiritual death. The truth will bring life. Jesus was a huge advocate of the truth. As God has explained, it sets us free. This is the same whether it is truth, the opposite of a lie, or divine higher truth about our spiritual existence. A lie will fragment us but the truth will make us whole. A lie separates us, but the truth will delight in our unity.
So, you see, to not delight in evil on any level actually heals. We should desire evil to be exposed and to expose it when we are able. When we do this we are acting in true love. The Light always wants to shine to expose darkness. In that way there is more Light and more truth.
I remember when I was a child I lied to my mother about a very insignificant thing. Boy was she angry! I wondered why she got upset over something so small. I even wondered why I lied about something so small. Anyway, I was banished from my favorite television program and sent to my room with the door closed. She never came in to check on me even when she heard me crying. That was a very dark night for me as a little girl but very significant. I had to face my lie. Yes, I had tried to cover it up first, but it was exposed, and very quickly. I was not very happy about that at the moment but I had to face the consequences of my actions. It might seem very insignificant considering the issues we face in this world today but the lesson is the same. We can not hide from the light of truth. It always seeks out to expose us, teach us, humble us, heal us, and grow us up. I told my mother the truth after that, even when it was hard. It often was hard, but I found she was easier on me when I was honest than when I thought I got away with something.
I know it might seem like a childish lesson but in all honesty, had she not exposed it, I might have grown to be a less honest person. We bonded closer after that. The truth always wins out, wants the best for all of us, and is the highest form of love there is. It’s God love and the lesson I learned helped me to also expose evil and lies much easier and stronger since I understand it’s the right thing to do. It’s a loving thing to do. Sometimes it makes people very angry but exposure is still a very loving thing to do.
So, please, understand to not delight in evil. Don’t wish harm on anyone no matter what they have done. Expose the lies you know of, especially if they are your own, and allow the truth to win out. That way we can all rejoice in the truth whether it is human truth or higher spiritual truth. Exposure and discipline will give us both of them.
Every time this year, when a new year is approaching, we tend to think about resolutions. Either we want to lose weight, make more money, spend less, or travel more. It can be just about anything. Sometimes they are the very same resolutions we made last year only to find we fell very short of accomplishing what our goals were or are.
As I pondered the upcoming New Year and what I really want it to look like, some very unexpected thoughts entered into me. It was like I took a time travel back to when I cared for those much older than I; most of them dying. I recalled working on my doctoral dissertation on dream interpretation as well. Part of the dissertation was dedicated to dreams and also desires by those who were sick and dying. I know this could sound like I am approaching a morbid subject but actually I’m not, so stick with me.
Thinking about both my experiences ,and also my research, I began to remember vividly some of the things that were expressed as people were getting ready to enter into their next phase of living outside of the body. I’m convinced our spirit is alive and never ever dies, just as God is alive. Whatever your thoughts on this is beside the point. Let me move on. As I closed my eyes, my thoughts were filled with statements of regret that I heard over and over again. Some of them in person, some I heard of, and some I studied. Most were all the same. I’m going to list some of them here:
I wish I took better care of myself while I had the chance.
I should have told her/him “I love you” but was either afraid or negligent.
I never realized just how fast time would go and I should have taken more time for what is really important.
The office should not have been my top priority.
My spiritual/devotional life could have been better and stronger.
I could have made the choice to be more kind in circumstances and now I can’t change the aftershock.
I should have considered my choices just a little more before I made them. I might have made a different choice had I thought things through more.
I wish I had spent more time with my family instead of being busy, I could have been busy with them.
Why didn’t I say, “I am sorry”? It could have healed the issue but my pride was in the way.
I never took the time to enjoy the beauty of this earth. My mind and actions were always on things that really don’t matter now.
Maybe you can think of some for yourself. Close your eyes and imagine for a moment that today is the last day of your life. What would you greatly regret if you were leaving this earth today? Now, remember, you have time today, tonight, and hopefully tomorrow. Who needs to know you love them? What are you sorry for but have never expressed it to someone? Where have you always wanted to go? Who is the most important person to you and have you neglected them? Who has been there for you every single time but you never seem to say, “Thank you”.
If you were leaving your body tonight, think about it, would you have some regrets? I have watched tears falling down the faces of elderly people and some younger, while stating, “I never saw the Grand Canyon.” “I should have taken better care of myself because I might have more time with my loved ones had I done that.” “I wish I had not caused _______ so much pain and never healed it with them.”
This upcoming New Year as you consider your resolutions, maybe also consider if you have been silently living with regrets. They tend to come to the surface when faced with our mortality. Let them come now, with tears, with healing, and then with action. Don’t live another day with what you might regret tomorrow. Live in love, but love yourself first by honoring what is right, what is honest, what is your heart’s desire, and what love speaks to your heart. Then thank yourself. You are worth it.
Whitney Houston came out with a new song back in the early 80’s called “The Greatest Love of All”. I needed that song so much. There is no lonelier place to be than in a relationship alone. That was what I had. Every day was empty, hurtful, and alone. I am not one to cheat or find attention elsewhere, so I suffered alone.
What Whitney says in her song is true; children are our future. The way they are guided in the beginning is the way they will guide their lives later. I took care of myself every single day of every part of my life. It made no difference who was there or not there. My life depended on God and myself. It was good training for what was ahead. Or, maybe what unfolded ahead was because of how I was trained; to be independent.
Over the years it started to become very easy to walk away from anyone who left me empty, because I learned to fill myself. I always thought it was because I was weak, or that I have been a runner, leaving behind whatever did not nurture me. Now I have realized it has not been the case at all. It takes a lot of strength to need to nurture one’s self because those around us forgot we are someone who should be cared for. Maybe they got too caught up in themselves? I guess that could be the case.
Regardless to the issue or circumstance, the lesson has always been the same. I had to learn to depend on myself, so that is what I do. I always know when the need arises because the emptiness comes and tells my heart like a deep ache that won’t go away. It means it’s time to take care of myself because no one else can do it for me.
One of the reasons I have always performed marriages is because I get to be a part of the happiest day of a couple’s life. They always have so much love and promise in their eyes. It is the witness of two lives becoming one. I always remind them they are individuals first before they are one in marriage. It’s a reminder that has had to sink deeply into my heart. It still is rooted right where it was from the beginning.
The song says, “Everyone is searching for a hero, everyone needs someone to look up to, I never found anyone to fulfill my need. A lonely place to be, so I learned to depend on me.” My hero was always Jesus, the one who I watched in those black and white movies long ago, whose love never would fail anyone. There is more though. I had to learn that depending on myself and loving myself enough is one of the greatest things I could ever do in my life. I pledged to never walk in the shadows of anyone else. It sounds strong, and I guess it is, but more than that it has been necessary.
The greatest love of all that Whitney speaks of is the love inside of herself. I can close my eyes and see, feel, and know that inner temple inside. It exists because over a lifetime I have had to build the “temple”. Now it has become my refuge; a place to go when nothing else in life makes any sense. I go there daily and even more profoundly when things hurt the most and life is the hardest or loneliest.
I not only discovered long ago to not walk in someone’s shadow, but that I have a place to run to that is not always physical. It’s a place where God resides and I can go there any time I want. All of the guidance and comfort is there. It is filled with deep self love, admiration, strength, and healing for the heartache along the way. Today, it’s my refuge and my strength. Even when the deepest tears could fill an ocean, it is the greatest place to find peace in the storm. The greatest love of all is God’s inside of me. No need to look for God “wherever”. God is right here, in the depth of my soul and guides me from that place. Love is there when love is nowhere else. Healing is there when healing seems to not come in any other way.
Bottom line, we are not each others healer. We are our own; tears and all. Living life includes overcoming the hard parts as much as it is celebrating the victories. Sometimes the hard parts water a garden deep inside that will someday lead to new blossoms, new decisions, and new growth. Growth is always hard, and often lonely. It’s often a dark time. I’m thankful that God created a universe with a sun that everything revolves around. In the same respect God built one inside of us with a sonship that everything revolves around as well. It is in that “sonship”, or fellowship, I find my peace. Even when the only peace that can be found are tears from heartache. Eventually a garden will grow out of that watering and all will be new again.
If you live in this world you can not help but see or hear of some of the discord or violence experienced in it. It always seems like it’s worse than it ever has been. We hear of how violence is increasing. It might be. Or maybe violence is being enacted in a different way than in the past. Who can forget the holocaust, both world wars and Pearl Harbor? Remember when Isis was all over the news or, looking back, the old wild west when guns were up front and personal?
This morning, I am reminded of the first recorded murder in the Bible when one brother killed another. It’s hard to grasp the emotion of things when we read them. Can you imagine the horror of that event? Bottom line, it does not matter what age we live in, or how violence is enacted. Through it, we see the depth of human frustration and a lack of the things that are really important. Regardless as to how anger and violence are displayed its always the same. Brother against brother, sister against sister, and friends deciding to be foes. One side wants one thing and other side wants another, so they decide to war about it. One person gets offended and then the other gets the blame. One person blames another and the other gets offended. When does it end?
This might seem a bit simplistic but it starts with you, us, them. It begins with all of us because we are one. That is if we decide to really look at things from a higher perspective. From our oneness perspective it’s hard to forget when we do something to another we have just done it to ourselves. From a higher spiritual realm when one calls a person a name they just pointed a finger at themselves. If one person is that name then we all are. Sounds pretty strange doesn’t it? When we decide to think of things this way it’s easier to not do the wrong things. Why does brother have to be against brother when they are both going to experience the same pain? Why bring that on? It confuses me. Humans should get this by now but we don’t. We still yell, “Racist!”, when there is no race but the human race. Some still murder not even realizing that the person that is now gone had a personal and spiritual impact on this world. One never knows the part they might have played in the life of the murderous person. Businesses forget to be ambassadors of peace among people instead of placing blame, causing one to continue to smolder against another. When nothing is solved then nothing is solved. Period. We are all called to be ambassadors and yet when we try, we are looked upon like it is none of our business. In truth, it’s ALL of our business! There would be NO business if it was not all of our business. Put that on a T-shirt!
I used to sit at the edge of a stream where I used to live and throw rocks into the water, watching the water span out because of the impact. This is how each of us impact our world. We are one rock, but our influence spans out among many. I remember Jesus’ words concerning the stoning of an adulterous woman, “He who is without sin, cast the first stone.” No one did. They all walked away. Had one person thrown a stone it would have affected everyone. I always wondered where the men were that the “adulterous woman” committed adultery with. Maybe that is why all of the men walked away that day. No one could stand innocent of that sin before Jesus.
I guess I should get to my point here. If we truly want harmony, then we have to be harmony. If we want love, we need to be love. If we want peace, we need to be peace. Lately, to be honest, I have gone through a mini phase of not even wanting to be out in the public. I’m an empath. I will suck in and absorb the anger, moods, depression, and conflict. So, for awhile, I decided to be love right where I am and process my own frustration before I take it out to the rest of the world. It’s hard. We are human. We get upset. We also have a choice though. We can turn that upset feeling into something new and loving if we only choose to be an ambassador instead of a conflict creator. I sure wish more would learn this lesson.
Can I have a little mini rant? Just for a moment? STOP CHOOSING SIDES YOU ARE ON THE SAME SIDE! Always. Like it or not, we are in this together. All of us. Can we even wrap our heads around this reality? Or even better, can we wrap our hearts around it?
As I see it, there are two kinds of truth. There is truth with a capital “T” meaning higher or divine truth. Then there is truth as in the opposite of a lie. The statement in my title is about truth with a small “t” or the opposite of a lie. Lying, deception, setting up things as if they are truth, all seem to be a harsh part of human reality. But who are we kidding here? Nothing is ever gone unseen, especially by what or Who is unseen.
I believe it was Thomas in the Bible who was told by Jesus, “Blessed is he who has notseen and yet still believes.” Jesus was talking about mystical things or divine Truth. Yet, His statement is still as profound about the opposite of a lie. Sometimes we see things and think we know what is true. Sometimes we don’t see things, and yet, there is a gut hunch as to what is true or not. Gut hunches are interesting. Not many know or understand that we are spoken to through our gut, or stomach. In fact, the stomach has neurotransmitters just like our brains do.
I love gut instinct or intuition because it gives me a hunch to go and investigate more. Over the years I have come to trust that intuition and the investigation together. When a lie presents itself I am reminded of what Naomi spoke to Ruth in the Book of Ruth in the Bible. She said, “Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens.” What she meant was, if we wait on the truth it will reveal itself. There is a real reason for this. It’s because the truth is stronger than a lie. Jesus proved this to us when He was questioned concerning his actions and His identity before He went to the cross. Jesus said nothing. He kept silent. One reason, is the truth needs no defense. The other, is He knew the truth would reveal itself eventually.
You see, nothing, and I mean NOTHING, gets past God. Eventually we all know what is a lie and what is the truth. I like to think I have learned from the best of the best. When I question a situation of any kind I like to go silent. Or if my honest actions are questioned in any way, I also like to go silent.
This happened to me at one time in a work environment. I was brought before my higher management because my immediate manager was upset that I had to leave my desk and run to the restroom quite a bit. I also had to eat at my desk, which was piled with work every single day. You see, I was pregnant and in the earlier stages. My manager also had a knack for piling more work on me than I really should have. She was filing her nails and making personal phone calls on the job. She sat right behind me. I had already had a miscarriage from the stress she caused me, among other things. So, there I was, before the elite, just like Jesus was. I was being accused of doing things contrary to my job description. I guess being pregnant really was not so acceptable in the workplace back in those days. Laws have been created to protect pregnant women and their jobs.
I was always a good employee. I never complained and even worked at home when I had more than I could bear at work. I put in more hours than anyone I had knowledge of, and yet there I was, on “trial” for having to “pee” more often? Sounds crazy even now. Yet it was serious. I was at risk of losing my job over my pregnant state and new needs in order to function. I did defend myself. I told the truth about my manager right in front of her and the vice presidents of the place I worked, but it did no good. What did I do? I stopped talking and I went silent. I backed out of the office and out of their lives.
In about 3 months I received a phone call. The accusing manager was fired because they began to watch her and discovered all I had stated about her was the truth. I was not offered my job back, nor did I want it. What I did receive was higher than anything money could have bought. I learned the lesson Jesus and Naomi gave. “Trust, and thetruth will reveal itself. ”
As I write this, I am trusting. Aside from this message, I am being silent in a situation. Honestly, I do not understand people at the moment. Maybe it’s because I really don’t understand that so many don’t even realize just WHO is watching them. Maybe some have become hard in their hearts. Maybe some have just plain not cared about anyone but themselves. All could be possible. Still, I believe in the ability for humans to have compassion. Still, I believe in the truth, both the opposite of a lie and the higher Truth.
Situations can come and go, but honesty, integrity, love, and truth are forever. The lessons we learn from the moments we live are more valuable than anything anyone could ever say about us or accuse us of. Oh people will always lie. We lie to ourselves every day of our lives. It’s the purposeful deceit and lies that I have a hard time understanding.
There is another account concerning Jesus in the Bible that I have always loved. There will be a day when we shall see Him face to face, and in an instant we shall be like Him. In the face of the most influential being in all of history, nothing, and I mean, nothing, can ever be hidden. All is revealed. Just like that moment we stand in the face of the higher Truth. Whether we think so or not, ALL is revealed right at this moment. We were created with God inside of our DNA. He is inside of us. How could He not know the truth about us?