When Something Leaves Your Life…

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It’s easy to get disappointed when something we wanted, or a relationship we really wanted, leaves our life. Don’t be disenchanted. It’s only a moment to pause in the creative process. It’s a pause to reflect, redirect, and reassess. We all go through moments of disappointment. This is normal. After this happens, pick yourself up and get right back into the creative process. If you don’t give up, you will see, that something new has always been on the horizon.

Sometimes we are held back because what we are reaching for is not good for us. The only time we could ever stagnate is if we stop in the process or give up. Don’t give up! Your dreams will always be held tightly in heavenly places. You are a gift to this life and you deserve the very best. Use pauses to create and recreate. You will hit the spot when you reach for what is truly meant for  you. This will be revealed when everything seems to just fall into place!

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

832-484-8306

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries LLC

Compassionate Listening

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The silence of the morning hours are the most precious moments I spend. It’s the time when I pray and meditate with God to connect with the pulse of creation and wisdom. In that silence this morning the message I heard was how powerful a person is while being a compassionate listener. To truly hear the heart of another with no condemnation or judgement is to be the greatest gift to this world.

Compassionate listening is to be silent while someone else speaks and truly hear the heart of that person. This is true of groups of people as well. We don’t have to agree to listen and hear. We don’t need to judge or even come to a conclusion, expression, or solution. Sometimes people just need to have someone listen and to be heard. When we listen to understand we become an ambassador who connects hearts instead of repelling them.

The greatest honor is to be trusted with the thoughts, ideas, and feelings of another. The greatest gift is to listen without judgement. It is in that context, in that moment, we become the greatest ambassador of love ever.

Loving you from here,

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

832-484-8306

I Learned the Greatest Lesson of All…from MY Clients

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If you have ever known me, or have been connected to me, you know how much I love my work.  There is nothing more amazing to me than to be trusted enough to be allowed into another person’s heart and life. I count it an honor to be held in confidence. At times it has been to such a level, I have been told things that my clients have never revealed to another single soul.

There is nothing quite as satisfying to me than to know I have left a conversation and my client has had an “aha” moment, or has felt a great load being lifted from their shoulders. Yet, there have been those from time to time who have either come right out and told me I had not helped them at all. Or there have been those who have just quietly distanced themselves from me. In those cases I would get off the phone or go home feeling tied up in knots wondering what I could have done better.  I took it hard and usually put all of the load on myself.

Comforting myself, I would reason that I am not perfect, and don’t know all of the answers. While this is true, there had been one piece of the puzzle I had not considered, “I can not assist anyone who does not love themselves enough to realize they need to make their own changes”. I can facilitate, but I can’t change anyone. Change comes from the inside out. One element that has to always be there is self love.

The amazing thing, is the most difficult clients revealed to me my own lack of self confidence and self love. Everyone is a mirror to us no matter what the role we play in one another’s lives. Literally, my rejecting clients expected me to fix them and I strained within myself thinking that it was my job.

Learning the lesson about fixing my own self, loving myself, and being confident within myself, has been a hard one. I’ve had to weed through all of the junk that led me to “people please” and allow others to judge me, or compromise my sense of self worth. Bottom line, we are all a work in progress. With my progression, I discovered it has been alright to walk away from those who dishonored me, because I could honor myself. It’s easier said than done.

This is the reality; no one changes without having to do the work and without finding self love first. Without self love we only live in the reflection of those who want us to conform to their image. I take a deep breath and relax when I remember that the only image I need to conform to is God’s. Even then, it is not God outside of me but God who is a part of my being. The power of love is in our own DNA. I had to get a grasp of this completely, or I would always feel like I would fall short.

It’s work, but when done right everything shifts in the right direction. People leave because they become insulted, irritated, or offended. I’ve learned to let them go. The payoff is others will appear. It’s like a miracle of life. Those that appear are the ones who are ready for what I have to offer and always give me the gift of appreciation in return.

This is the pleasure of life. Walking in the Light of love is always the greatest feeling in the world. Sometimes I forget, like I suddenly have some sort of amnesia. Spirit always draws me back to where I need to be. Sometimes this happens with a struggle but when I turn to the greatest love ever, I always remember.

So, with all of this said; the greatest work I have ever achieved was to love myself the way God does. When this happens everything falls into place. Resistance never allows miracles to happen. Self doubt and struggle will never bring balance or miracles. Yes, my clients have taught me the road to least resistance. The responsibility has always been their own. Mine is to be there, to listen, to interject wisdom when wisdom comes, and to smile at the end of the day.

A job well done always comes with a life well loved.

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, Phd

JenineMarie.com

YOU Are Not a Lemon. Don’t Allow Anyone to Squeeze the Life Out of You!

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Lemons are amazing fruits. Detoxing daily with them can bring very good results for your body. Just some warm water or tea with fresh squeezed lemon can help your digestion, aid in preventing kidney stones and even help lose weight.

I watched myself squeeze a lemon into a glass of warm water one day and all of the life sustaining pulp and juices that started to flow out of the fruit. I even have a lemon squeezer that helps in this process. Since I seem to get messages out of life’s experiences this was no exception. I thought to myself, “Sometimes it feels like there have been people who have just squeezed the life out of me.”

Just like the lemon, when this happens, the life sustaining juices seem to get dumped into a place we don’t want life to take us. It’s so easy to become bitter as the lemon tastes. Yet, lemons do have a degree of sweetness to them as well. When toxic people cause a squeeze on our lives it’s important to remember that sweetness still resides in the waters. Life can feel bitter and distasteful sometimes.

Back away from all toxic experiences that feel like a huge lemon squeeze. Let sweetness still abide in the inner places of your being and even the sourness will become helpful to you in the days to come. We all need sour experiences to allow us to see where there is sourness inside of us. We can deal with it without having the life squeezed out of us.

In life’s big bowl of fruit you are the best lemons ever created. We all carry sweetness and sourness within us. The challenge is to process the sour parts before life sends us a lemon squeezer in the form of another person to do that work for us. Think about this very carefully. Karma is there to teach you. God will teach you. If you listen and heed the warnings before the lemon press is sent to give you more than a little squeeze.

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

832-484-8306

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries, LLC 

**The name of my blog will be changed to “Life Lessons by Jenine Marie”. Embrace change!

A Time for All Things Under Heaven

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This is certainly a time in history where it almost feels like the earth is birthing. Seems we have been in labor for a very long time now. We have seen wars come and go, trends cycle and come back, and technology expound into things we never dreamed of in days that have passed. Some call it the end times, others a time of new beginnings. I suppose we all see it through the eyes of our own beliefs and perspectives.

The Bible tells us there is a time for all things under heaven. Through my eyes its a time of joy and a time of weeping. Some things are hard to watch and others are joyous and loving. I’m not sure they are both balanced equally. Maybe only God knows that equation.

I do know things are changing. We are changing. Our hope is we change in a good way. Maybe we can heal wounds, uplift our faith, listen more, and have more empathy. Our hearts all ache and rejoice at the same time. Change and labor is always hard. Usually it all comes with a lot of wounded emotions and tears. We do have hope though! Joy always comes after the hardest parts. I know I felt that joy when my babies came out of me and I held them the first time in my life. Maybe we will get that joy from God as He holds us closely after the hard part is over?

For now we see violence and destruction, but also deep conversations and understanding. It’s hard not to be angry when labor becomes more than we think we can bear. Since the promise to us from God is we will never be given more than we can bear, then we know we will make it. I know our tears are a watering place where healing and love can begin where it has been lacking.

When the season gets to be more than we wish it ever was, remember that this too shall pass. All things pass; this is no different. Our season is just that; seasoning brings flavor to things that are bland and in need of work. If we do the work, we will have the reward.

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

CEO Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries LLC 

Choices We Make That Empower Us

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I entitled this blog post the way it is because I was thinking about choices this morning. My meditative practice was harder than usual because I had so many things swirling around in my brain. As it settled, some interesting thoughts came to me. Even though I don’t believe anyone should live in the past, I do believe the past has lessons we can still learn and sometimes those lessons even define who we eventually are.

A long time ago I worked for a commercial bank called Bay Bank of Commerce in San Leandro, CA. I think the years were somewhere around 1982. I was a single mother with one small son at the time. I loved that bank. I loved the way I was treated by those who founded it and those who appreciated me as a young professional. I have to thank the CEO and founder @DickKahler for the opportunity I was given. I was only there maybe close to 2 years, and worked in the commercial real estate loan processing department. Unfortunately, one person who worked above me gave me a very difficult time during a pregnancy that was pretty delicate. After some careful consideration I had to quit my job there.

No way had that move ever reflected on the wonderful way that commercial bank was built or how business was executed. I knew I had the finest of the best in the business. Yet, I had to stand up for myself due to one person’s treatment. I was a pretty shy and very unassuming person at the time. I have to say, quitting without another job to hang onto was not an easy prospect. It really took a lot of faith. Actually, it built my faith.

I went on to build a family, was married and then divorced. For many years I raised five children on my own with no real help from anyone. After consulting with a superior court family judge, I decided to educate myself. Her advice was straight on for me. Judge Chew, wherever you are, I LOVE YOU! I started at the community college level but that was only the beginning. My education took me to places I never thought I would be.

I was accepted by a pilot program through Stanford University in California. I studied with students from various places on the globe. I did some of my trans-personal/spiritual internship at Mt Madonna, CA. I graduated with a liberal arts degree with emphasis on psychology and human behavior through Southern New Hampshire University. I have three degrees in theological study leading to a Master’s from Grand Canyon University along with 3 years of Clinical Psychology study, and a Doctorate from the University of Sedona. I am excited to have studied in classes conducted by Harvard University. I also have learned from some wonderful spiritual, philosophical teachers from Daytona Beach, Boca Raton, and Miami, Florida. Much of my study led to certifications in Life Coaching, Trans-personal Counseling, Holistic Healing, and Hypnotherapy. Yes, I have a lot of education!

I was surprisingly privileged to conduct a class, a church service, and speak before some of our country’s leaders during one of the dedication moments near Arlington Cemetery on Memorial Day weekend. I was honored to be the Pastor of two small group churches, speak in local places of worship, and now I meet the most amazing people on earth that I call “my clients.”

My major point here is that one move to step into my own personal power, along with the power of God, created who I am today. I am assertive in ways I never would have been had it not occurred. It might seem simple and small, but it created a domino affect of so much more than I could have ever dreamed of. In fact, it changed my life. Over the course of time I have made good decisions and not so good. Fact remains that one step of empowerment made all of the difference in the world.

Don’t ever underestimate your own power to make decisions that could define the rest of your life. Step into it. Yes, you might step into some thick mud but lotus flowers bloom in thick mud, and so can you!

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

832-484-8306

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries, LLC 

**Special thank you to @DickKahler, @BayBankofCommerce (Sad to say the bank is now closed)

Stuck in Between

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I realize this is not a typical Easter message, but then again, there is nothing typical about this Easter. I can’t say if this is a new normal or if it is a return to love. I like the believe the latter is true. During this season, I find myself stuck in between so many things. Some of them are probably just a lack of decisions but others are areas where I feel I am in a place of waiting. Ever feel like you just want to get the show on the road? You are all packed and ready but there is no gas in the car. Yep, I am there. Stuck in between.

Moses found himself in the cleft of a rock as he stood on the mountain waiting to hear what God had to say to him. In fact, God placed him there. He said, “When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by.” (Exodus 33:22). God did this because no one can look at that full glory of God and live. So, God gave Moses a hiding place. He placed Moses in a cleft between the rock. Talk about being between a rock and a hard place! Yet, as promised, God’s glory passed by. It was the only way Moses could experience the glory of God and still live to tell about it. How magnificent must that have been!

Maybe that is where I am? Maybe that is where YOU are right now? It’s not so bad to be stuck in between. It is a moment in time when God truly wants us to “see” His glory. He shows this by how He moves things in life. Or sometimes he speaks in a dream, or whispers into our hearts. He might show us direction through other people. He so loves to show up through the least expected person for the least expected reason. That’s our God! He drives us from the inside out and the outside in. Not to mention He holds up his hand to guard us and keep us safe.

During this season of being stuck in between, God spoke to me through the book of Exodus. This is the story of when God used Moses to let His people be released from the bondage of an unfair pharoah. In fact, he was totally brutal. Pharoah got a huge lessen in that season and so did Moses and the Israelites. God wastes nothing! The Israelites were also stuck in between a very long season of brutality and their freedom. God did deliver them, but when they were ready and no sooner. You see, the Israelites were a strong people. They were used to carry heavy things and hoist up heavy man made bricks in order to build the pyramids. Little did pharaoh know, he was building an army of very strong and yet humble people.

Maybe God is using this time of feeling stuck to build your character muscle and faith?Maybe its a time to find humility, more faith, hope, and even love. Growth is Gods wonder and miracle. Everything He planted on this earth grows from small to bigger or from weak to strong. Isn’t that a crazy amazing plan? It means we grow even in our darkest hours of indecision. God has a decision for you. Go with what you have and leave the rest for Him to show His glory. If you find yourself stuck in the cleft of a rock, know that God’s glory is passing by! Your new season has just begun!

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

 

 

Creating Daily Rituals

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A ritual is formally defined as a spiritual or religious rite that is practiced and done regularly.  We also can create habits or actions that we do consistently and regularly, as if they are religious- like. I suppose we can say “we do them religiously.” Much of the time we describe a ritual as an act or action we do daily. This can be anywhere from our skin care to our work out routine. It’s probably a good idea to squeeze some of the spiritual ritual into our daily routine as well. A well rounded life has them all; the everyday actions that are mostly habits and the more divinely inspired moments that are more deeply rooted in who we are and our existence.

Daily rituals are needed for humans. Without them we are floating daily like a boat just drifting out to sea with no real direction. Rituals help give us direction, especially the deep spiritual ones. One of mine every morning is to grab my cup of coffee or tea and then sit back on the corner of my bed and close my eyes as I sip on my cup. This is my quiet time when I still my thinking, pray, ask for guidance, and tap into the spiritual “me”. I have found that the cup of coffee or tea is important because it signals to me this is the moment I am going to spiritually sink into my breathing, balance myself, and state my case with God. Whatever the moment brings for me, that is what it is. In other words I allow my ritual to unfold with no prior design or agenda.

I’ve often thought, and said, how we begin our morning is how our day will unfold. I like mine to begin with good thoughts, or dumping out difficult feelings,and replacing them with better more powerful ones. This morning ritual for me is my inspiration time. Often I will write my blog right after my morning moments. This did not happen automatically, I had to create it. I had already established my morning quiet moments with my coffee just to wake up and get ready for the day. It seemed simple to just add my spiritual moment with it. That way I know I will alway stick to it until it becomes a habit, and it has!

If you want to create sacred moments or just bring in some good habits for your life; think of things you already do and see what you can add to them. If you cook every day at 5pm, then consider adding some music and dancing while cooking. That brings in some exercise and some good mood enhancement. If you shop regularly, park way out in the back of the parking lot so you have to walk all the way to the front door and back. It might not seem like much but add a briskness to it and you have at least a couple minutes of even more exercise.

Or, if you procrastinate writing your book, think of when you are on your computer just checking social media. Cut some of that time and move over to your book and just write a few sentences or do some editing. It has been said it takes at least 21 days to establish a new habit. Keep on doing it and you will find your book will be written more often than social media time.

I need to read in order to write wisely on topics. I also love my reading time. I am so curious and love to read on certain topics that really interest me. It’s so easy to plop down into bed and just go to sleep or meditate myself to sleep. I have found if I go to bed earlier and pick up the book while I am still mostly awake then I establish a way to finish that book instead of allowing it to just sit on the nightstand.

I’m sure if you consider your day you can find things you regularly do that can be added to in order to enhance your life and establish a new habit. Whatever you do, consider when you can add your quiet inspired time when you can be spiritually silent and just allow thoughts to enter into your mind. Let this time be sacred; moments when you and God meet with body, mind and spirit to enhance your life.

There are enough moments in a day to get everything done that you need to do. Take out the things that no longer serve you and replace them with your needs, wants, and desires. If you need to drink more water, put a water bottle next to your bedside or place of spiritual inspiration. After your spiritual time drink water.

I think you get my point. Start by creating a list of all of the things you want to add to your daily life and habits. Then narrow that list down to just 3-5 and add one of them at a time. Group it with something you already do. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you have a good strategy to get it all created!

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry

What Defines You?

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The question my title presents is much more important than you might think. We tend to become what our minds believe we are. Sometimes it feels like a true battlefield. Our minds might insist one thing when we want it to believe something else. Our belief is tested when someone accuses us of being something we don’t feel we are or don’t desire to be. This is when the question in my title becomes even more important.

What is it that defines you? Are you defined by what others think or say you are? Or, are you defined by old stories your head might be telling you that spring up from the past?Sometimes people can define themselves by what they were told they were from others long ago. The crazy thing is those times have long drifted into nothingness, and yet, sometimes we are still battling those words or thoughts. Sometimes they are blame or shame based statements toward us that we take on today.

The mind is the biggest battlefield we can ever try to overcome. Not only will it tell you things about yourself that are not true, but if you believe the thoughts, you will also react as if they are true. Old thoughts in error can guide you to assume things about other people that are not true as well. I always tell others to not assume things about someone’s thoughts. Always ask! It’s the only way to really truly find out. Even if you don’t want to know the answer. Truth is truth. We only should act out of what is true and not a false belief as to what is true.

This is why it is so important to reprogram your mind daily. It is a daily battle to conquer the false statements we believe about ourselves and others. Any time something comes to mind about yourself or someone else, ask first , ‘Is it true?” before you act. Otherwise you might act out of a lie or false belief. This can cause more hardship than you ever wanted to experience, or even worse, hurt someone or yourself needlessly.

Take the time to reprogram your mind daily. Use what you want to be true about yourself, life, and align your thoughts with those goals. Also, erase your false beliefs about others by starting each day as brand new. Take in these affirmations:

“I affirm that my life will go as I have determined in my mind it will be.

“I affirm that I will ask others about their thoughts before I assume.”

” I affirm that I will walk in peace with all beings, act in honesty with myself and others.”

“I affirm I will work through whatever I believe about others that makes me uncomfortable as to not harm them.”

“I affirm to work through the hard things so that peace and harmony can be my bannor and not chaos that I create for myself.:

You might think of some new ones for yourself! Bottom line, don’t assume you know. Also, change what you don’t want in life to what you do want by creating peaceful resolutions toward that goal.

“First do no harm.”

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry

Characteristics of Love: Love is Not Self-Seeking

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Not being self seeking can be confusing at first. On one hand we can not give of anything until we have it within ourselves. Being self assured, self giving, and providing self care are all good things. We do need to seek our healing, our inner light, and to seek out what is best in our lives. We give out of the overflow of what we have and who we are. We also self seek when we seek God to an extent. We seek to lose fear, define our lives, search out our purpose and expand our horizons. These are all great things and we should all do them!

I believe what the author is saying here is that love does not behave selfishly with an attitude of entitlement over the needs of others. It’s very different to be self loving from being selfish and self centered in an arrogant way. Arrogance is a form of pride that lords itself over others. The type of self seeking that love is not is the kind that says, “I deserve more than you because I am better than you are.” True love never sees anyone that way, but sees us all as equal even when we don’t all behave on the playground.

We might have different places we fill in business, in life, or in family, but we are all equal in God’s sight. To self seek is to seek without God, from ego and not through Spirit. God’s Spirit is Holy and there is nothing prideful or arrogant within the love that is held in God’s Holiness. Self seeking is also a state of division. It states that a person feels they are higher or above all others and therefore deserve preference over others. It denies the Oneness that Jesus prayed to “the Father” about.

When we are looking to embody true God-love we do not seek preference over others but see one another as equal. We understand that we are not completely whole without one another. Everyone is in a state of “becoming”, so not everyone will be on the same spiritual path as another. Jesus did not come to the earth to just visit so He could establish a set of people who would have it all and others would not. Truth says Jesus came for the whole world, to set people free, to show the way, to relieve us all of condemnation, to pour out grace, to teach healing, and point the way toward eternity. Jesus laid down His life for EVERY human being ever created and came to this planet. That means people who were before, who were then, and who were to be. Literally EVERYONE. Not just those who believe as He does but even those who do not believe at all. Jesus was and is the supreme example of love if we ever saw one. He displayed a love that was never self seeking; a love that laid itself down for those who needed it more.

Do you want to embody this kind of love? Its hard when our human side always will compete to interfere. I believe this comes from not being healed from past trauma. We only act and react poorly from our soul scars. When we are healed and clean from those things then God within us can become bigger and more profoundly present. Remember Peter in the bible? People were healed just walking into Peter’s shadow. Peter did not receive any special preference from God or special grace. Jesus said we all could do greater things than even He had. When He said, “all” he meant everyone. Only pure love and faith could be that profound as to heal others with just being present. Isn’t that the express image of God’s love?

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry