Have You Discovered the Power of Taking Holy Moments?

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This morning I sat with my tea just waking up and taking in the new day. I closed my eyes for a moment and the first thing I noticed was all of the noise that usually goes unnoticed. The heater came on, a car went by outside, birds were chirping in the trees, and then the ding of a message coming in on my phone. Our lives and world is filled with noise every day. The only time we are really not consciously aware of it is when we sleep. I can’t explain it, with my eyes still closed, the world suddenly came alive with deeper sounds and things I never noticed before. I realized the heater also makes a howling noise when it is on, the house creaks, and I actually sense light even when my eyes are closed.

Taking a holy moment to just “be” is so revealing, especially when beginning to recognize personal thoughts, senses of the body, or setting intentions of how the day could unfold. I remember reading a book written by Marianne Williamson a long time ago and also her famous quote, “Sacred silence writes the universe.” I thought about the moment just prior to creation and how that silence might have been. What an amazing moment in a void space of time when God took a breath and began creating. It boggles my mind to even consider what a great mind God truly is. I think it goes beyond personal comprehension and is far greater than our human existence can even fathom. Then with great intention God creates.

It’s how our day should begin and how it could be if we design it that way; a holy moment with God and the intention to create the day whatever way we partner in creating it. Think about this, “Without intention our lives seem random as the day unfolds.” It does not have to be that way. Of course, things happen that we can not control but we can control how we respond to them. I wondered this morning, what it might be like to have a day that unfolds with sacred and intended responses.

“Today I will take a breath and intend to be patient when I am tempted to be impatient.”

“I will walk in acceptance that the only life I can have control over is my own.”

Intentions can be much more powerful than we even realize. Could it be because we are not listening or taking sacred silence? When we listen, answers are there for our questions and questions come up we never thought of. It almost feels like the world forgot how to breathe, ask, listen, observe, and intend. Have we forgotten about the holy moment God taught us to have when creation began? Maybe we are in too much of a hurry to take the time to actually do the work that creation and intention require? Not taking the time can be costly though. That leaves our lives and days to unfold in what seems like a random way. If the way we respond to what comes our way is not set with intention our responses are left to our ego self instead of the part of us that is connected to our creative creator.

Maybe this sounds way too deep to take in during a morning cup of tea, but it is important. Can you imagine if we all took a holy moment every day or even several times a day? We can intend to be more kind, respond with more wisdom, pause before we respond at all. Maybe we can be more conscious of what comes out of our mouths. Are our responses positive, necessary, or true? Taking a holy moment to set our intention for each day can help calm some of the emotion we deal with. Emotions are important but they can cause our lives to feel like we are riding in a sail boat being tossed around by an angry or uncontrollable sea. Jesus once calmed those angry and uncontrollable waves. I think it was King David who asked God to level the hills and valleys. Could he have been setting an intention with God to not react in such an emotional or uncontrolled way?

Life can be a “hills and valleys” kind of ride without taking holy moments to sit in sacred silence. If you have not, take that time now and take it every day when you wake. Yes, it requires you create a new habit if you don’t do this already. You will thank yourself and thank God if you do. Give it a try!

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry

Blessed Are They Who Can Keep it Confidential

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This is not exactly a bible verse. It’s just kind of an offtake of the beatitudes. I think it’s an important subject though. I don’t know why, but humans seem to have this compulsion to talk about things that really don’t pertain to them. I think maybe it is so we can take our eyes off of our own issues for awhile. For some, it might be to feel better about themselves. Regardless of the reason, we do it; we talk about things we have no business discussing with others.

Confidentiality is a real blessing. When we have been blessed with those who keep our issues confidential we have an established trust that is not only rare but a rare treasure. For the ones who keep confidential, it is a double blessing. Those who can keep others thoughts, feelings, issues, and life events private are truly blessed. They are those who others can go to when they feel the need to discuss something with someone. Being someone who others can trust is an honor.

As a counselor, I am bound to confidentiality. Trust is a must or I would not be a very good one. As a hypnotherapist trust is even more important because I deal with the unconscious mind of another human being. Personally, I love those I can go to when life is harder than it should be. I can vent, get upset, say things I really don’t mean, and then settle into solutions without the fear of it being passed along or judgement. It’s a rare find to have those types of people in our lives. Its even a better feeling to be one of those that others can vent with without fear of being exposed or judged.

When someone comes to me to “talk”, I’m all ears, and not mouth. Someone who needs to talk usually just needs to vent. Its so important to do this because it can harm our bodies if we keep it all inside of us. It’s even more important to know that the ground we spill out on will be solid and honorable. This means we know that the other person or people will not share what we just shared. Like I said, sometimes we vent, and often don’t mean what we say. We just need to get it out. Sometimes we vent and we need some input. It’s always a blessing to have someone else’s opinion without it being mandatory we do it “their way”.

Being trustable, like I have stated, is an honor. Even if we are not someone who is held to laws for confidentiality it is a gift to be someone trustable. To be able to hold in our hands and hearts the deepest thoughts, feelings, and struggles of another is a gift to be proud of. In a world where gossip prevails and where people tend to assume they know and then pass things around, it is wonderful to be gifted with someone trustable.

Be that person! Be trustable and establish the type of trust that will be a gift to others. Not everything needs to be opened up like a can of worms and exposed to others. Sometimes it is best to watch life unfold without an opinion or having to add our thoughts to what others are doing. Sometimes observing life is better than talking about it. This also builds trust. Talking about it just judges it and therefore judges others. It has a domino effect and tends to cause others to judge as well because they hear it.

Blurting out what we know is not always just merely being honest. It also is being untrustable. Unless we have the go-ahead to talk about a subject then our mouths really should be shut. Or, unless we have an issue to spill out to a trustable listening ear, we should keep it to ourselves. We are all here for one another but that does not mean we all understand how to hold someone else’s treasure in our hands. Building trust is just that; building. Creating a firm foundation with others takes time. Don’t ever assume that others should just trust you. If they see or hear you blurting out things all over the place you are not the first person they will go to when they need a listening ear.

Silence can be golden. Do you know what I mean? Practice sacred silence by holding issues to yourself for a change. Don’t be so easy to spill the beans all over the place. Trust is sacred and if you are trustable you are sacred as well.

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry.

Beyond the Bathroom Door

silence-001Please bear with me while I tell this story to the end. I know, I know; I will get to the point! Some stories are worth telling though, and I think this one has some wisdom!

When I was in 8th grade I had transferred to a new school. Life changes happen. For the most part it was a pretty good experience. I was around family members at school, and had some old friends I got to reacquaint with. It was a hard era to be in school though. The process of racial integration had begun and there was a lot of unrest between students and parents. The students were being bused to schools that were further from home in order to compensate for the previous era of segregation. We all had to get used to changes.

I was always a quiet soft spoken person back then and I was just kind of coming out of my shell a bit. Life was pretty good in school that year, accept for one issue. For some reason a girl took a disliking to me. I was not completely sure why because I never really talked to her and I don’t think we had any classes together. I’m not sure if it was fueled by the racial tensions or not. ( I am thinking probably so). All I knew was that she suddenly just hated me. Along with my quiet demeanor was a very non violent person inside of me. I just don’t believe in attacking others. This little lady was different though. She was mouthy, and sure did not hold back the comments regarding what she wanted to “do to my face”.

Every single day it was the same. I would see her in the hall and she would say something cruel to me and talk about what she was going to do to me. Having lockers close by caused us to see one another a few times a day, so several times a day she got her comments in before the next class. I said absolutely nothing to her, not ever. I just did my business and then walked away. This made her even more aggressive for some reason and her threats became more intense. So, I began to do everything I could to avoid her. I seriously started to believe there would be bloodshed and yet I had no idea why. Fear crept into my existence and the more intense she became, the more I worked harder to avoid her. I did not want to fight this girl. I did not want to fight anyone, but for some reason she felt she needed a way to express her anger and trying to get me angry was her goal.

I started to adopt the practice of hiding in the bathroom while she did her locker business and did not come out until I was sure she was done and gone. All I wanted was peace, and to not have my face torn off! She was a little thing, much smaller than I was, but she always seemed to have a group with her. I mean, what fun is it to tear someone’s face off if you have no one watching, right?

Then one day she caught on to me and went into the bathroom while I was in there. She was alone this time and so was I . I was washing my hands and getting ready to head to my class. She came up to me with an angry scowl. She was about 4 inches shorter than I was so she had to look up to look me in the eyes. So, I just stood there and looked down at her, keeping my gaze in her eyes and my facial expression unchanged. A lot of thoughts raced through my head. I was preparing to have to defend myself because I sure did not want to stand there and have my face torn off, like she said she wanted! So, I waited and just breathed. The next sound I heard was her grumble something under her breath and off she went out the door.  I took a huge sigh of relief! 

Proverbs 15:1 

“A gentle answer turns away wrath,
    but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

My Point?

God honors wisdom. A harsh word would have created chaos in this situation. There is a time for everything under heaven. This time was NOT a time to speak. She never said another word to me again; not ever! I got to stay out of the bathroom before my next class and I never had my face torn off! (Huge sigh of relief here)!

My point here is “Choose your battles wisely sisters”! There is a time to speak and a time to remain silent. Sometimes silence speaks louder than words ever could and wisdom knows “her” place. That is at the throne where God delivers to us His power to be what we need to be at any given moment. I learned a lot from the bathroom that day! The Lord chooses the darnedest places to instruct us on our walk with Him!

These are days when I am finding I have less of a filter, so how do we know when to remain silent and when to speak? It’s kind of a type of strategic wisdom God gives to us when we remain in Him. In the particular situation in the bathroom, silence was the answer. Sometimes wisdom comes to us when we seek “her“. Sometimes we make a mistake and our face gets torn off. Bottom line, we learn with practice and experience. Believe me, you will know when you have made the wrong choice!

With my face in tact,

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

800-421-1765 for prayer!

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