What Wise Women Know

Wisdom is like a right to passage for women. It’s the moment when we realize all of the stored valuable lessons we have learned over the years have more value than we can place upon them. In a biblical sense, wisdom is described in the feminine persona; “Wisdom is a woman”. The book of Proverbs in the bible teaches us that wisdom, as the divine feminine, was with God from the beginning. Wisdom is eternal and of great value. May “she” forever reign!

Some practical wisdom that wise women know:

If someone is not for us they are against us. There are no two ways about it. A person who is not totally in support of us, they are against us and should be let go, or they will fall away on their own. Someone not for us can not be trusted. Trust in its most true form is earned and not taken for granted.

If two people can not agree they can not move in the same direction. The notion that opposites attract can not be applied to the direction of life people have chosen. If two people are not in agreement on the major issues in life then they can not walk together. They would continually be at odds with one another and neither will prosper.

If love is not returned it is not a relationship. Love, although unconditional in essence, is a gift to be given to one another. It can exist on its own merit but in a relationship where two are bound together or in friendship, family, business partners, etc, love is not a one-way street. If only one is putting in the effort they will become drained or disinterested. The relationship is out of balance and will dissolve. This is also true with children and adult children. Although unconditional love can be present, it takes all parties to have a relationship. Otherwise, there is none. It is all or nothing. In a one-sided connection between people, we are under NO obligation to give anything.

If there is a lack of communication there is no relationship. Communication and the spirit of sharing are what creates a bond of trust, love, and faithfulness. Being vulnerable enough to share our deepest thoughts and our hearts is a way of saying, “I want to know you and love you enough to continue to find out more.” To get to know someone and give them your time is the greatest gift of a relationship one can give another. If this is not present, there is no relationship.

True honestly reveals itself with no hesitation. If there is a place of no honesty between two people, then there is a breach of trust. Trust is earned through honesty even when it is hard. Revealing one’s self is the greatest gift one can give on behalf of God and the Spirit. The Spirit that is God is the Spirit of Truth. Truth means honestly. In God’s presence, a person can not be of their higher self without honesty.

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry

Come and visit me at my ever-changing and evolving website JenineMarie.com

Look forward to my new upcoming course on relationship attraction for women!

What Women Really Want in Relationships

Let’s talk about all things relationships when it comes to women!

This post is about what women want and desire from the outside that carries them on the inside. I am speaking of soulful desires and maybe some of them can be considered rights as well. We fight battles, often silent and sometimes spoken loudly upon ears that don’t always hear us. This post is dedicated to those inner things women desire in personal relationships.

What women really desire:

Is to be heard. We have an open need to have our wisdom expressed. Women carry intuitive wisdom, thoughts, guidance, and expression. Without the ability to express our wisdom and thoughts we become spiritually bound and our energy centers begin to shut down. The spoken word is everything when it comes to creation. Our Creator spoke life into this universe and that is exactly what women do when we are allowed to express our thoughts without interruption. Do you want life spoken into your surroundings? Allow the woman in your life to express her wisdom without hesitation. The gift will keep on giving life.

Our hearts to be carried. Women tend to carry within our hearts the emotional weight of the world. We emotionally “hear” our families, our friends, our partners, and our loved ones. We “hear” the pulse of the world and we carry the concerns in our hearts. That weight can become so profound the love we hold will start our tears flowing. We are the main emotion of relationships and because this is weighty we need our hearts to be held and carried. This means “have our emotional back”. Support us with love, compassion, and empathy. Know when we need rest and support that need by backing us up with your action and strength. Understand our need for alone time, companion time, and just plain time.

We need to be valued. As women who are generally more intuitive than men can often be, we need to be valued. When we know, we know. This inner knowing is something many women have and don’t express because we feel we will not be taken seriously. So our intuitive gifts go unheard or disrespected. Don’t shut us down or make it seem strange we know things that others might not. We don’t need your ego to rise up and try to be “right”. Your “rightness” will not discard our intuition or make it go away. It will only cause valuable intuition to be crushed down into the center of our being causing us to shrink back from warning signals that we have been created to have and express.

We need the gift of time. Time is the only thing in this life we can never get back once it is lost. Have you ever looked back and wished you spent more time with someone and now you can not go back and fix it? It’s best to not live with regrets. Giving us your time allows us to know our value more deeply, and express our thoughts. It also gives us the strength we often need when time allows the opportunity for your support. Time gifts us with much-needed companionship which is what relationship is all about anyway. Without companionship, there is no relationship. So give us your time.

We need love. This should be an obvious one but unfortunately, it is often overlooked. Love comes in many forms. It might be the little things you provide for us or support us in. Sometimes it is your shoulder when our tears reveal the burdens we have needed to release. Love and affection go hand in hand. Affection denied kills the soul. Believe me, when you truly love the woman in your life you will be gifted many times over with more love in return than you can ever be grateful for.

We need respect. When a woman does not receive respect or is disrespected her heart will leave you. Even if her physical being is still with you her heart will not be there. Respect is something that can not be overstated. If you desire respect from a woman then don’t disrespect her! Disrespect takes away her dignity and reduces her to feel “less than”. Remember, once disrespectful words or actions are done they can not be undone. They go out into the universe and create karma for you that you will wish never hit you. Have you ever wondered why Jesus defended women so much in biblical accounts? It’s because women were so disrespected and devalued in the time He lived in. It does a person good to keep a closed mouth than to disrespect a woman. It also does a person good to do the right and upstanding things in life rather than disrespect a woman behind her back. Even if she does not know…God does! I think you get it!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry

Come visit me at JenineMarie.com!

Are You Surrounded by Those Who Support Your Vision?

Let’s face it, not everyone is going to accept everything about us. Problems arise for us when those who surround us are not accepting of who we are. Even more difficult is to be around those who simply do not support our vision in life. The condition has a tendency to cause us to be fake in order to be supported and accepted. If we are not strong enough in our convictions we will compromise our journey just to appease others.

People who have negative thoughts about what you believe, the vision you carry, or the person you desire to become, will cause you to struggle in your process. Not only that, they will never give you supportive comments and ideas that can help you along in your journey. No one is ever expected to create things in life by themselves. It takes the loving support of others to help us make our dreams come true. Like it or not, this is the process of Oneness we have in this life. People don’t have to join our journey with us but supportive views and even connections will help our plans succeed.

Our solution is to be strong enough and have more conviction inside ourselves to let people go when they are not supportive of our process. It’s a hard lesson because we tend to hold onto relationships for the sake of familiarity. The wisdom of the bible states if two do not agree they can not walk together. This means there is a need to be in agreement with what we are inside, what we desire to become, and what we want to accomplish.

Can you imagine those who put down your journey every time you mention it? This causes so much discouragement inside. We might think we are strong enough to endure it but remember. what goes out into the universe is returned to us. This means even through the company we keep!

Stick with those who support you and love you for who you are. They are those who encourage your steps, will applaud your successes, and even give you a hand along the way! Don’t be unequally yoked with people and relationships who will cause you to not be genuine within yourself and your beliefs. It’s true there are some who will agree to disagree, but to agree on the things we do will cause a flow of blessing like no other!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry

JenineMarie.com

Come and visit my growing and ever-changing website!

Words to Live By…Not Everyone is Meant to STAY in Your Life!

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When you were a child, did you ever hold onto a toy you loved even though it was broken? It’s a sad situation when a broken thing can not be fixed and yet it’s held onto like it will somehow come back to life.

Relationships with people can be the same way. They might be broken, but for some reason, we keep on hanging onto what no longer works, or maybe never worked. All this will cause is suffering. We have to look at that broken thing every single day of our lives and just feel bad.

No matter what we think, believe, or imagine, someone who disrespects you or does not put into a relationship the same as you do is just dead weight. You will carry that broken thing until you are broken as well. Letting it all go might feel like hell for the moment but in the long haul… it’s a blessing.

Some connections are lessons to be learned, but once that lesson has been accomplished there is no reason to allow dead weight from an uncaring person to weigh you down. Rethink your relationships. A broken irreparable toy will never be of use to you again but will continue to make you feel loss over and over. Do you want or deserve that? Your life is more important than having someone come into it and break YOU because of their brokenness. Don’t allow that to happen again. Not ever.

Words to the wise…

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry

JenineMarie.com

Come to visit my website and learn more about how you can receive relief from anxiety and depression!

Are You the Victim of Someone’s Sarcasm?

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Have you ever encountered a laughing person spewing out their sense of humor with words that actually hurt more than they are funny? If your answer is “no” you are lucky. When someone is humorous but saying hurtful things to us it’s usually called “sarcasm“. Before I go on, let me give you a Wikipedia definition of what sarcasm is.

Sarcasm is the caustic use of words, often in a humorous way, to mock someone or something. Sarcasm may employ ambivalence, although it is not necessarily ironic.” Wikipedia I highlighted two of the most prominent words in the definition in bold type so you can see the full impact of what sarcasm really is. Usually, someone thinks they are joking but they are actually being mean-spirited and hurtful. Then, when called on it, the next comment is usually “Can’t you take a joke, I was only kidding!” I’m sorry, this one never gets past me. It did not in the past and will not in the present. When someone is not laughing at a humorous comment you just made it means it hurt and was not funny to them.

Quite long ago I dated someone like this. He thought being sarcastic and hurting people was alright as long as the joke was funny to HIM! I’m still grateful for being saved from going further in that connection. As much as people hate to admit it sarcasm is emotional abuse. It reflects upon a person that the sarcastic one sees them as inferior or flawed in some way. Trust me, we who have experienced it from someone are not inferior. We are unfortunate to run across those who do this to others but we are usually the trusting, honest, and compassionate type. Sarcasm does not go over well with sarcastic people. Usually, they can’t take what they dish out.

I have written about this subject before, so what brings it up again today? Welp, I am glad you asked! I experienced sarcasm (sarcastic remarks) from someone in a group I never expected it to come from. (And yes, it hurt). We tend to think or believe spiritual people are safe and for the most part, kind. This is not always true. Not everyone is as mature as we would like them to be. For the record, I know when to accept things as a joke and when something is meant to demean me. I guess it comes with both intuition and experience.

The next question is how to deal with it. In my particular case with the more recent event, I have quietly backed away. Sometimes people need to be left with themselves in order to allow some spiritual and emotional maturity to take place. In my previous situation, it was not as easy. It was some time ago and I was learning how to have some emotional backbone. Eventually, I had to grieve it out, but now in hindsight, I’m grateful.

There is always a reason I tend to write about the things I do. Usually, it’s because I have encountered it, or it’s about others who have. My blog is about life lessons (at least on this Blogspot). Learning how to deal with sarcasm is definitely a life lesson. To those who think sarcasm is funny, I hope you wake up. To those who have been the victim of it, I hope you heal.

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry

JenineMarie.com

“My services and website are now dedicated to those who endure anxiety, depression, and also grief. Healing in an emotional way is the most intimate and delicate work you will ever do in your life. Allow me, as a compassionate person, to be a part of your journey with sessions to accommodate your mind and soul!” Jenine Marie

This is Love in Friendship…

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This is love in friendship: When you never have to ever guess as to whether someone truly cared. When life throws a wrench in the works, they are there seeking out how you are. When it comes to defending you, there is no question in their mind that they will. Love stays regardless of time or distance. Love remains regardless of circumstances or trials. Love heals, regardless of who is involved and who is not. Love forgives, no matter how much it hurts or how it all happened. Love is a gift from God, not something someone plays with for a while and then leaves…

Love in friendship is a special kind of love; a bond that automatically states, “I have your back and I will stand with you no matter what the cost.” There is a huge difference between having someone’s back and stabbing someone in the back when they are down. Having someone’s back means even if it will cost something desired the friend comes first and not the other way around.

Love pursues, not to prove someone’s “rightness” or “wrongness” but to state “I am sorry” when someone is wronged and to fix it. Sometimes fixing things means going against the current or correcting the action by reversing it. Love understands or tries to understand the other’s point of view and gives it validation even if it is not agreed upon. Love makes things right when actions have created a wrong. Then love lets it all go…

Out of all of the things that remain, the love of God will be there when others pull back and create a breach that hurts in the heart. The heart will heal, but a breach left unsettled will always remain a breach.

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie

JenineMarie.com

Trauma Bonding and Toxic Relationships: Personal, Groups and Business

Since life is about “relationship,” most likely, we have all had
at least one relationship where we merely did not have much in common. The relationship imbalance can occur during any type of relationship, from
romantic, to friendships to work relationships. Sometimes relationships are so out of balance it is hard to get along with one another, therefore there is
continual friction. Usually, the lack of cohesiveness is recognized eventually, and people part ways. There is no difficulty in parting, and both parties will feel relieved to be finally apart.

This is not the case when there is trauma bonding involved. Trauma bonding occurs when one person or group in the relationship is toxic. I include groups here for the sake of employment and even religious groups. Toxic relationships are easy to spot, usually from the outside of one. There is a massive degree of control, manipulation, sabotage, jealousy, and a ton of friction. Why would someone want to be in a type of relationship like this? No one really would want that type of person (or group) in their life. None of us are happy when we feel controlled to the point where we are told what we can do and what we can’t. No one wants a relationship where they are controlled to the point of who they can connect with or not. We see this in religious groups, unfortunately.

People get locked into trauma bonding with someone because the other person or group always seems the best thing that ever happened to them. They are swept off their feet with charm, love, acceptance, and a feeling of bliss begins to create the release of powerful neurotransmitters in the brain that make us feel good. These can be a release of norepinephrine, oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. To a drug addict, this is the addictive high they get while using and then dropped when the drug is no longer present and providing it for them.


It is the same with a trauma bond. The same neurotransmitters are released in the body when someone feels they are in love or have reached what is referred to as a “natural high.” In romantic relationships, the trauma bond can cause a person to continue to go back for more even when they are being treated poorly. This occurs after the “honeymoon” phase of toxic relationships is over. The relationship moves from the charming demeanor of a toxic person into manipulation and a whole lot of pain. Yet the bond from the initial high of the relationship keeps the other person trapped into wanting more of the high. So they keep going back for the fix even though they know it is not suitable for them and even after the world comes crashing down on them once again.

This type of relationship is not the same as the romantic kind, where there
is such a strong sense of compatibility that the couple will both shine and sparkle from the inside out just being together. Even after things have settled, the love grows, matures, and deepens. This is not true with a toxic relationship. One person in toxic connections will suffer greatly at the hand and actions of the toxic person.

In many cases, the toxic person is considered to be a narcissist, and they
might be just that. Sometimes, a person can have a narcissistic part of their
personality, but they are not narcissists. It is up to a skilled professional
to determine if someone has a full-blown personality disorder or not. Being
involved with a toxic person is very painful and will rip your life into
pieces. You will feel crazy, but you are not. People might think you are crazy
because of what the toxic person has done or said behind you. Yet, you are not the crazy one.

The addiction to a toxic person (or group) is similar to that of a drug
addict. It’s hard to kick the high, and it’s hard to see the damage being done
while in its midst. All that is known is that you need more of the person or
group to feel that high again and feel a sense of wholeness. We can get locked into a situation like this and feel very isolated because that is the idea of the toxic person or group. You are isolated and played with, so they will have a sense of power and control.

Remember, the trauma bond is an addiction, so don’t be hard on yourself if
this is in your life. Love yourself enough to get help, just as a drug addict
must reach out for help in their situation. You have to come to the point of
hitting bottom. No one can make you get to that point. It all has to be done
for yourself. Working on self-love, fostering good relationships privately, and finding a good counselor to help you out of your misery are essential to your health and well-being. Even after you are not under the influence of a toxic situation, there still might be a recovery time. Allow yourself that time!
Remember your worth. You are gold in anyone’s life. Let your most significant relationship be with God and with yourself first. Work on your self-esteem and consider the reasons you lock into toxic people or groups, to begin with.

Come to recognize the trauma bond high and don’t allow relationships to
happen too quickly. Any good relationship is nurtured over time. Be honest with those you leave behind and tell them from a place of safety that you feel they are not suitable for you. Be straightforward. It is essential to speak your truth at a safe distance as toxic people can also be dangerous. Make it crystal clear you want no more contact and why. Tell the other person or people why you feel your connection is not good for you or them. Even in situations where there is little in common, communication is important. In healthy people, breakups are easy like that. Healthy people communicate, “I don’t want to see you again” in a healthy way and is accepted healthily. If this is not expressed, don’t think you are in a trauma relationship if the other person does not understand and pursues you. You have to be clear for your sake and theirs!

It all sounds so complicated, and this could quickly turn into a book, but
it is not that complicated. Let your happy indicator let you know if you are in a good relationship fit or not. Even with groups, it is the same thing. It
might not be a good fit for you if one person in a place of power calls all the shots. Recognize power-hungry people and keep your distance. Your life will thank you with blessings you never dreamt of if you protect and guide yourself by the gut instincts God has given you.

Loving you from here, 

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry 

JenineMarie.com

Straight Up Communication

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There is a huge reason I included the words “straight-up” in the title of this blog post. I could have used straight-forward but some of the meaning of this post loses something. Straight-up communication is speaking from a higher perspective and a higher realm of influence. This means before speaking to consider what comes from the higher realm of God’s presence. It means speaking our truth in a way that is straight-up honest, forthright, and gets to the heart of the matter of our concerns and expression.

Equally important are straight-up honest responses to our communication with others. When issues are either hidden or communication is shut down it causes problems energetically, emotionally, and in relationship with one another. One of the more significant issues is how our communication affects the energy centers of the body (chakras). When faulty communication occurs the heart and throat energy centers are mainly affected. When these energy centers are shut off, shut down, or closed off it can cause emotional and physical problems in the body. This is important information because we can not operate in a balanced fashion when either we are not communicating effectively or someone we speak with communicates in a faulty way.

Since our lives and lessons are based mainly upon relationships we need to learn to always be as honest and tender in our communication as we can. Not speaking our truth honestly will shut down the throat and heart chakra faster than we can blink. Not only that, dishonest communication makes our lives a lie. If we want to live a life of truth it is so important to speak honestly.

Guarding ourselves to not allow others to shut our speech down is also important. Many of us were not given a voice as we were growing up. It is time to make sure we have the ability to communicate openly and honestly. If someone shuts you down it is time to rethink connecting with the individual or even a group of individuals. If someone feeds you lies attempting to make them true then it is time to rethink that connection.

Keeping in good health is more than taking vitamins, eating well, and exercising. Keeping in good health is taking care of our emotional health and also our relationships with others. Our energy centers are important. Even more so, our lives and our ability to openly communicate our truth is important as well.

Take some time to evaluate how you speak to others and how others deal with your interaction with them. If you need to cut them out of your relationship circle for the sake of your own health and safe communication then so be it. It takes strength and also deeply caring about ourselves to guard our hearts and our speaking abilities. Keeping in balance in all things will assure we are on the right track with our relationships and our emotional/spiritual health. Love yourself enough to be a truth speaker and to only allow other truth speakers into your heart space and life.

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie is an energy healing master and energy clairvoyant.

JenineMarie.com

*** Come visit me and explore my services on my website!

*** This article is not to be taken as medical advice as coming from a physician. These are metaphysical practices and ideas meant to enhance the lives of those who choose them!

Is Love Supposed to be Defined and then Divided?

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I had to giggle out loud when I saw a posting that compared “real love vs imaginary.” I thought to myself, “Seriously?” The very first thing that spirit brought to my mind was the Scripture, ” For God so loved the world that He gave…” Of course, the personna is there ie. “he” when God clearly has been defined as spirit and not a person. Then the next place spirit went with me was the creation of the world story. Out of the higher consciousness, or higher mind of our Creator our world was formed and fashioned. Was this not a thought or imagination that created the world? So if God created the world first out of thought and imagination and God also loved the world then imagined love is still love itself. Imagination creates.

Love is defined in biblical terms in qualities such as patient, kind, long-suffering, basically tolerant, etc. Either way, love is love. It all begins with thought and imagination and it is all valid. Even if love is not returned it is still our love that is valid. Love need not be returned and there is no degree of love. Love simply “is,” and it stands on its own.

Love expresses itself in different ways through relationships. First, it is our relationship with God’s light inside of us. We express love within ourselves and in fact, should embody love if we have any sense of God. In this world, our love can be directed as friendship, romantic love, love of family, and love for our planet or pet. Where we direct love does not validate or invalidate it. Love simply is love. God is love and God simply “is.”

PLEASE don’t let anyone invalidate you because you “love” them. Your love is valid and it is alright to experience it inside of you. Would you rather have hatred? I fully believe we are not meant to love just one human on earth and that is it. We are meant to love as God loves, and see the good where we direct it! Please don’t see love as limited but a limitless gift is given to you by your Creator to direct wherever you desire!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry

JenineMarie.com

Look forward to my newly updated website with some new goodies for you to consider! I LOVE YOU!

Every Child Born is in Divine Timing

woman in white robe carrying baby
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I was told, as the story goes, I was not expected to be here. I guess better words are my parents never thought they could have another child after my sister. I was supposed to be here though. Maybe I taught my parents about miracles? I’m not sure, it was their lesson. My lesson has been about divine timing. Do you ever get the feeling God puts us together in circles of others like puzzle pieces to make a bigger picture?

I’m not sure creating a huge puzzle is God’s intention regarding creation but I do know we are no good without each other. Without one of us a piece is missing. When I was 21 years old I gave birth to a son. I was stretched in my ability to be a new mother and yet blessed to have him for 20 years. It’s hard to imagine someone coming into our lives and then having to leave after just 20 years. It’s a long time, two decades, but a small amount of time to have a son on the earth.

I often wondered if he was born at the wrong time, but that would disrupt my belief we all have divine timing and a purpose. I’m not sure my son found his purpose, and I’m still not even sure I have found the lesson I learned as his mother. Patience is always a lesson but maybe strength is a better one to speak of here. I raised him mostly on my own. I saw things in myself I did not like and things that I never thought possible in myself.

His timing was never a mistake. God does not make those kind of mistakes. Having him and each of my children was a glimmer of hope that this world could be a better place just by bringing in someone new. I suppose I never thought I was giving birth to my future but my children aligned my future for sure.

Birth itself is a miraculous thing. It’s not easy but God always blessed me with joy after the sorrow. Isn’t God just like that? We go through sorrows but joy always comes as a result. Maybe sometimes that joy is simply relief. Maybe sometimes it is hope being revealed. Every child is a divine reason to have joy. I believe each one of us was born at just the right time, the right place, for the right reasons. Our earthly minds can’t always perceive those things but the higher part of ourselves can come to understand God’s wisdom within it all. It’s great to be a creator with God, isn’t it?

One night, over 2000 years ago, a little baby was born and His life seemed to be far before the world’s time. Yet His purpose was right on time. His death was on time as well. God knows the number of our days before we even come here. I think if we knew them we would never learn or teach the lessons we are here for.

Every single child, person, individual, is born at the right time, the right place, and for the right reason. It does not matter how the child gets here. Remember Jesus was born out of wedlock, was raised by a step father, His conception not planned by human timing, but His coming was divine and right on time.

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries LLC