I Learned the Greatest Lesson of All…from MY Clients

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If you have ever known me, or have been connected to me, you know how much I love my work.  There is nothing more amazing to me than to be trusted enough to be allowed into another person’s heart and life. I count it an honor to be held in confidence. At times it has been to such a level, I have been told things that my clients have never revealed to another single soul.

There is nothing quite as satisfying to me than to know I have left a conversation and my client has had an “aha” moment, or has felt a great load being lifted from their shoulders. Yet, there have been those from time to time who have either come right out and told me I had not helped them at all. Or there have been those who have just quietly distanced themselves from me. In those cases I would get off the phone or go home feeling tied up in knots wondering what I could have done better.  I took it hard and usually put all of the load on myself.

Comforting myself, I would reason that I am not perfect, and don’t know all of the answers. While this is true, there had been one piece of the puzzle I had not considered, “I can not assist anyone who does not love themselves enough to realize they need to make their own changes”. I can facilitate, but I can’t change anyone. Change comes from the inside out. One element that has to always be there is self love.

The amazing thing, is the most difficult clients revealed to me my own lack of self confidence and self love. Everyone is a mirror to us no matter what the role we play in one another’s lives. Literally, my rejecting clients expected me to fix them and I strained within myself thinking that it was my job.

Learning the lesson about fixing my own self, loving myself, and being confident within myself, has been a hard one. I’ve had to weed through all of the junk that led me to “people please” and allow others to judge me, or compromise my sense of self worth. Bottom line, we are all a work in progress. With my progression, I discovered it has been alright to walk away from those who dishonored me, because I could honor myself. It’s easier said than done.

This is the reality; no one changes without having to do the work and without finding self love first. Without self love we only live in the reflection of those who want us to conform to their image. I take a deep breath and relax when I remember that the only image I need to conform to is God’s. Even then, it is not God outside of me but God who is a part of my being. The power of love is in our own DNA. I had to get a grasp of this completely, or I would always feel like I would fall short.

It’s work, but when done right everything shifts in the right direction. People leave because they become insulted, irritated, or offended. I’ve learned to let them go. The payoff is others will appear. It’s like a miracle of life. Those that appear are the ones who are ready for what I have to offer and always give me the gift of appreciation in return.

This is the pleasure of life. Walking in the Light of love is always the greatest feeling in the world. Sometimes I forget, like I suddenly have some sort of amnesia. Spirit always draws me back to where I need to be. Sometimes this happens with a struggle but when I turn to the greatest love ever, I always remember.

So, with all of this said; the greatest work I have ever achieved was to love myself the way God does. When this happens everything falls into place. Resistance never allows miracles to happen. Self doubt and struggle will never bring balance or miracles. Yes, my clients have taught me the road to least resistance. The responsibility has always been their own. Mine is to be there, to listen, to interject wisdom when wisdom comes, and to smile at the end of the day.

A job well done always comes with a life well loved.

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, Phd

JenineMarie.com

Does Hypnosis Really Work?

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Did you know you are always “on”? What I mean by that is, your mind is always working. Not just your brain, but your mind. This includes what we call the “unconscious” mind. You have both consciousness and a part of you that is always running in the background. The unconscious mind is kind of like a computer program that just runs and monitors everything. The only thing is, the unconscious mind also controls a lot of things; much more than you might believe.

Also, like a computer, it can be programmed to change things you desire to change. It’s really quite simple. You tell it what you want instead of having it run on autopilot in the background telling you how life will be. Much of what is there can be attributed to what you have experienced in the past and other things are habits you have picked up along the way as a result of past and choices you have made.

In an article printed this month by Chicago Magazine, a writer speaks of her experience going to a certified hypnotist in order to stop her from clenching her jaw. This is something many of us do. It comes from stress, becomes a habit, and not only grinds the teeth down but causes headaches too. The title of the article is “A Hypnosis Skeptic Gets Very, Very Sleepy.” In the article she explains how hypnosis proved to be advantageous and effective in making much needed, or desired, changes in life.

Like the author, many go into hypnosis sessions very skeptical. I know I did at one time. The hypnotist proved me wrong. I had a very uncomfortable situation to face in life and it brought about a great deal of fear. It was fear of being in the presence of a person and confrontation. During the first session I suddenly saw this person as a small mouse and I was a huge cat! The hypnotist did not feed this into my brain, it just appeared! As she did her thing, vision after vision entered into my mind. I was so relaxed, empowered, and honestly wanted to fall asleep. Yet, I was also aware of everything. My fear was resolved and I confronted my situation with confidence and won!

Most people only go into mild hypnosis, which is the Alpha state of trance and are aware of what is being said, and surroundings. In fact, just reading this article you might still be aware of what is going on around you while you read. Or you might stare at your phone reading a text, and yet be working out what to fix for dinner at night. Then there is the situation where you might be driving and envisioning other scenarios at the same time. Before you know it, you are at your destination. It seems like time has flown and you have been mildly entertained at the same time. This is hypnosis. Its not deepeened hypnosis but it is still hypnosis.

We all have things we would love to change; some things more critical than others. Hypnosis can do this! There is nothing scary or freaky about it. You do it every day of your life. The difference between that and going to see someone for a clinical hypnosis session is the decision is mutually made to make a change and the intent is focused on that change. Usually it only takes a few sessions and a recording of the original hypnosis session to take home with you. It’s quite an amazing miracle for those who truly suffer from anxiety, fears, habits, depression, weight issues, and more. Unlike what many are led to believe, the hypnotist does not have control of your mind and can’t give you any suggestions that you would normally not accept. You are still in control of everything, especially the desired change you truly want!

So, to take away the fear of coming out of a hypnotic trance clucking like a chicken, let me assure you in this. The stage hypnosis we have been taught in days gone by are not the results that will happen while seeing a certified and trained hypnotherapist. Why not give it a try for those things you wish were different in your life? It won’t help you control others but it will help you handle others actions better if that is what you are seeking.

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry

Your Weekly Wisdom: By Comparison

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Could we be anymore flooded with images of what we should be or need to be? Who decided when we are supposed to make certain landmarks in our lives and what our value is or isn’t if we don’t? What about our choices? For instance, why is a woman looked at strange if she chooses to not have children in her life?

I remember back in my old undergraduate days studying statistics in social sciences. Society creates these “norms” for living life. For some reason we are supposed to adhere to them or we are looked upon as deviant. The hard part about trying to live up to society’s norms is we all have a different idea of achievement and what that means to us. We also have different ideas about what is beautiful in a person. Some look on the outside. The more wise, I think, look on the inside.

So who is society? The answer is us; we are. Then if we are those who are not “boat rockers” we want to go with the flow of what the majority thinks we should or should not do. We go with what the majority puts out there how we should or should not look, act, create, succeed. The list can be long. If we are those who are not comfortable in our own life’s skin we will begin to compare ourselves to those, we think, or believe are. If we are not apt to step up to the plate to make change. We will compare ourselves to those who we believe or think are more impressive. There are a lot of reasons we might think we missed the boat if comparison is the way we live our lives. Stick to the public’s norm and be happy? I don’t think so. Look like someone else and be admired and confident? I highly doubt it. Achieve what someone else has achieved and be satisfied with our lives? Not likely.

Living life by comparison is a very self defeating way to live. I am not sure why we always tend to think that life is greener in someone else’s bank account, marriage, family, business, or clothing size.  If you are one who finds yourself living in this way, I am willing to bet you suffer from self esteem issues. How can anyone think highly of themselves if they are not looking at their lives as they truly are meant to be? How can there be gratitude and acceptance? No one can keep up with living for someone else, not even for societies poorly thought out norms.

The only way anyone can be truly happy is to learn to carve their own path. This week, look at your outer shell with admiration. Your body got you through a lot of things in life. See what you have as plenty. Many have a lot less than you do. Respect your bank account. If you have some funds in it then you have a lot more than nothing. Admire your life’s choices. Good or bad, you chose them, and that makes them important. I challenge you this week to not live by comparison. It’s a lonely, empty, self defeating place to be. Branch out and be truly who you are. There is no duplicate in the world who is like you, so don’t try to duplicate yourself to be like anyone else!

Loving you from here,

Dr Rev Jenine Marie Howry

Do You Shrink Back On Your Follow Through?

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One of the most frustrating issues we deal with as humans has to be procrastination. Or maybe sometimes we just get distracted with so much bouncing around at us all of the time. I can see why many of us don’t follow through on things we really want in life. We find ways to justify why we can’t do it. Or sometimes we lose our nerve or even our momentum.

Having an encourager is so important in life! I’m telling you, someone who is always on your side, has your back, won’t allow you to shrink back, and will root you on, is one of the most valuable people ever! No one accomplishes anything without others. We might think we can, but it’s a lonely and very limited journey.

If you need someone to keep you on track, why not book a session or two with me? Sometimes having someone to help you map out your destination and keep you on course is all you need to keep from shrinking back!

Whatever your goal might be, a special weight loss program, a task you always wanted to accomplish, a new business venture, or finding a great new relationship, you can benefit from guided coaching and encouragement. I WILL make you accountable and help you define what goal you want to accomplish and what your deepest desire is. We all need a little push now and then. Let me give you that nudge and maybe a little more!

Loving you from here,

Dr Rev Jenine Marie Howry

832-484-8306

Defining Who You Are (An Emotional Moment and Video)

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Hello Everyone,

I hope this video helps someone, or maybe everyone, understand their value and how much we need them on this earth. We are all a part of one humanity and we all affect the lives of others. We need you! So please watch and pass this on to someone who you believe needs to hear it!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry

Here is Your Weekly Wisdom!

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8) Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 

9) But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:8-9 
Paul knew the power of uncompromising grace from God. He understood when he was weak there was a transfer through his faith in Christ that occurred. When we put aside our flesh or ego self, and place our faith in Christ who lives within us, it gives us power to live in God’s grace.
The ultimate healing is experiencing life through Christ light within us from the inside out. Easier said than done. It takes faith and belief in the knowledge of Who lives within us.
Affirm: Today, I place my self aside and all of the troubles that go with my struggles and change my perception. I will focus on the Christ light inside of me and not on the issues I deal with in this world, my emotions, in my mind, and in my body. To God be all the glory for His lavish grace and power He will bestow upon me today!
Loving you from here!
Dr. Jenine Marie Howry
Added video The Mystery of God’s Powerful Grace and Favor!

How To Trust in an Un-Trusting World

pexels-photo-241322.jpegTrust is a very valuable thing. In the human world we EARN the trust of others. In the realm of God we can trust everything because God is faithful and never deviates from the true nature of who He is. What do we do in a world where it is so hard to trust? Can we ever truly trust anything outside of ourselves when humans are not perfect and can so easily make mistakes?

Trusting depends on where our trust is directed. Have you ever given thought to trusting yourself? Can you depend on yourself and do you believe in yourself too? When the chips are down and the world is hard to understand can you rely on yourself in any circumstance to bring things through, regardless of what that might look like?

Trusting yourself is your answer when it is hard to trust others. Let me give you an example. I get nervous when other people drive and I am in the passenger seat. It makes no difference who it is. No two people have the same responses to stopping, going, and how we determine speed etc. There have been many a time I have “put on the brakes” from the passenger side when I think there might be an unwelcome meeting with the car I am in and someone else’s. But, when I drive, I trust myself. I know myself and how I respond.  In the past I have swerved in order to avoid an altercation with another vehicle.

In fact,  anywhere in life when I am doing the driving, I am trusting life. It’s the same with self trust in any aspect of life. Once we know we can completely trust who we are then life becomes more bearable even when others are going haywire. In a world where it is hard to trust, place your trust in God, but also trust yourself in any process on the journey. It’s a gift you can give to yourself.

“Today, I will give myself the ultimate gift of trust. I know I can handle any obstacle that comes my way. I trust my faith, my ideas, and my decisions. Even in the wake of mistakes, I know I can trust my way out of them.”

Loving you from here

Jenine Marie Howry

Don’t Allow Someone’s Rejection Define You!

beautiful-sky-with-mountains-in-the-distance_1232-718It’s pretty common for women who have been in an abusive relationship to continually place their worth and value outside of themselves. Part of the abuse cycle is practically begging the abuser to want you, and part of their abuse is to reject you. This is especially true if the abuser is a narcissist. I know this sounds sickening but they thrive on it and depend on your response to their neglect of your needs. It makes them feel powerful and in control. Then when you express what you need you have fallen into their trap. They can tell you how unreasonable you are, and to just be happy with what you have even though you feel neglected. Let me release you here. You are entitled to your own feelings even if no one else agrees with them. They are yours and if you feel hurt then no one can tell you that you are overreacting. You are a person of great value and your heart matters as well as how you express what is in it no matter how it comes out. (Meaning even with tears).

The best response in this situation is to agree with them. They are right. Your happiness, your value, and your worth do not depend on them or anyone else wanting you. Your beauty does not depend on anyone else expressing desire for you. I know it takes a lot to begin to truly believe this if you are in the habit of not believing it.

It can be very frustrating and humiliating to feel you need to constantly beg someone to love you when there is only so much they can give. It’s also very frustrating to wait on someone to express their devotion to you when that might not ever happen. Hear me. You don’t have to hang your hat on a wrack that won’t support it. Recognize that some people are limited when it comes to the compassion department. It’s not you, its them. Your part is allowing yourself to be sucked into the pattern over and over again. STOP.

Remember God supports you and loves you the way He made you. You might even “know this” but it has not sunk deep enough for you to truly believe it. Give yourself time. I am positive that if you work on this every single day you will begin to see how much you truly are worth without any one else’s affirmation. Here are some suggestions:

  1. Live out loud. Don’t keep things stifled inside of you or isolate yourself in your feelings. Talk to someone who will edify you and remind you who you are.
  2. Write down all of the things that are your strengths and go with those. Focusing on strengths can help you stop looking at what you perceive as weakness or what you feel is “not good enough”.
  3. Connect with others who deal with what you do and support, lift up, and edify each other. There is strength in numbers.
  4. Look up Scriptures in the Bible that remind you of your worth to God and post them everywhere so you can see them on a regular basis. Let the truth of them soak into you.
  5. I know this one is a weird one, but get mad at the situation enough to make a change for the better. Allow your hurt feelings and anger about bad treatment to propel you forward instead of inward.

Remember that your value in this world is off the charts. There is not even a large enough number to even come close to explaining it. God sees your value every day. Commit yourself to seeing it as well. If your heart is broken work on healing it with God and become stronger. This does not mean “hardened”. You don’t need to be hard hearted to be strong, but on the contrary you can be strong by giving of who you are to someone who truly wants all you have to give!

Finish these sentences: I am valuable because _______________________________________

My greatest strengths are ____________________________________________________________

My God given gift is/are ___________________________________________________________________

My love in this world is important because _________________________________________\

These are the people who need and appreciate me: _________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________

A Statement for You

“I will give my attention to those people and consider myself as a gift. I will release myself from the feeling that I have to beg someone to love, care, or appreciate me, no matter how much it hurts. I will let God heal those areas of my life.”

It takes some work on your part to overcome the affects of someone else’s neglect, abuse, or lack of appreciation, but you have this one! You can do this with God. Repeat:

“I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me.”

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

800-421-1765

 

Be a Proverbs 31 Woman!

4090bc77a9f41de80e5c4c5554a6a35bThere is no description of a Godly woman in all of the Bible unlike the one in the book of Proverbs chapter 31. In this small portion of Scripture, God outlines for women some of the keys that create in her a successful and blessed life. Who IS this woman and how can you be one?

She is active! She creates things with her hands, sells them, and buys land. With that land she plants a vineyard and it prospers in her hands to feed her family. She never eats of the bread of idleness. She is strong, and keeps on going even when things are hard. She is giving. She feeds her family and she also gives graciously to those who work for her. Obviously if she has servants, she is well off and financially secure. She provides greatly to the marriage and family.

Her work is completed without hesitation. She knows her role and she does it well. She learns of God, speaks with wisdom, and is charitable to those who are less fortunate. Because she is all of these things, her family, her children and husband call her “blessed” because she IS blessed! She is a woman of nobility in the eyes of God and walks in dignity with her head held high. Her husband has esteem because of her good reputation.

No doubt the Proverbs 31 woman spends time with the Lord, her King. Believe me, you will always tell a woman who spends time with Jesus because her glow, her personality, her actions, her life, will be as bright as the living Son. This does not mean perfect. It means she shines in ways that others take notice and wonder what it is about her that we can not resist?

If you want to be an empowered woman that others arise and call blessed, then take Proverbs 31 and break it down into small segments. Study each line and ask God to perfect it within yourself and you will be as respected, blessed, and prosperous as this noble woman in the Bible!

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries        800-421+1765

Take Back What You THINK You Lack

Hello! I wanted to send this message via video for a change. I pray healing in your midst and that you find your self worth in Christ Jesus!

 

Sincerely,

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

800-421-1765

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries