I Learned the Greatest Lesson of All…from MY Clients

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If you have ever known me, or have been connected to me, you know how much I love my work.  There is nothing more amazing to me than to be trusted enough to be allowed into another person’s heart and life. I count it an honor to be held in confidence. At times it has been to such a level, I have been told things that my clients have never revealed to another single soul.

There is nothing quite as satisfying to me than to know I have left a conversation and my client has had an “aha” moment, or has felt a great load being lifted from their shoulders. Yet, there have been those from time to time who have either come right out and told me I had not helped them at all. Or there have been those who have just quietly distanced themselves from me. In those cases I would get off the phone or go home feeling tied up in knots wondering what I could have done better.  I took it hard and usually put all of the load on myself.

Comforting myself, I would reason that I am not perfect, and don’t know all of the answers. While this is true, there had been one piece of the puzzle I had not considered, “I can not assist anyone who does not love themselves enough to realize they need to make their own changes”. I can facilitate, but I can’t change anyone. Change comes from the inside out. One element that has to always be there is self love.

The amazing thing, is the most difficult clients revealed to me my own lack of self confidence and self love. Everyone is a mirror to us no matter what the role we play in one another’s lives. Literally, my rejecting clients expected me to fix them and I strained within myself thinking that it was my job.

Learning the lesson about fixing my own self, loving myself, and being confident within myself, has been a hard one. I’ve had to weed through all of the junk that led me to “people please” and allow others to judge me, or compromise my sense of self worth. Bottom line, we are all a work in progress. With my progression, I discovered it has been alright to walk away from those who dishonored me, because I could honor myself. It’s easier said than done.

This is the reality; no one changes without having to do the work and without finding self love first. Without self love we only live in the reflection of those who want us to conform to their image. I take a deep breath and relax when I remember that the only image I need to conform to is God’s. Even then, it is not God outside of me but God who is a part of my being. The power of love is in our own DNA. I had to get a grasp of this completely, or I would always feel like I would fall short.

It’s work, but when done right everything shifts in the right direction. People leave because they become insulted, irritated, or offended. I’ve learned to let them go. The payoff is others will appear. It’s like a miracle of life. Those that appear are the ones who are ready for what I have to offer and always give me the gift of appreciation in return.

This is the pleasure of life. Walking in the Light of love is always the greatest feeling in the world. Sometimes I forget, like I suddenly have some sort of amnesia. Spirit always draws me back to where I need to be. Sometimes this happens with a struggle but when I turn to the greatest love ever, I always remember.

So, with all of this said; the greatest work I have ever achieved was to love myself the way God does. When this happens everything falls into place. Resistance never allows miracles to happen. Self doubt and struggle will never bring balance or miracles. Yes, my clients have taught me the road to least resistance. The responsibility has always been their own. Mine is to be there, to listen, to interject wisdom when wisdom comes, and to smile at the end of the day.

A job well done always comes with a life well loved.

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, Phd

JenineMarie.com

True Success Depends on Your Identity!

Rev Jenine MarieDo you ever feel like you climb up three rungs on a ladder in life only to be slapped down at least four of them? Life can be a continual challenge of endurance and trying to get up new strength. As I was pondering what my next message might be, I thought of so many victories God has given to me that I could testify about. Those are not the things He wants to discuss right now. I felt like His heart so wanted to draw people to understand how they can be victorious, not just read or hear about my testimony. I know any testimony of God’s goodness would edify your faith, but I am also sure that God has a message for you so that you can understand how those victories can be yours as well. There is definite power in the “knowing”.

I love God’s goodness, and His loving care for me when I am down and out. He has a way of speaking that no one can describe. You have to experience it for yourself. I remember a time when I felt so beaten down and tired of always trying to get up the strength to climb that ladder just “one more time”.  A person can become so exhausted just in the trying let alone the climbing. This one particular time I was sitting up in a ball with my arms wrapped around my knees, very frustrated. I don’t know about you, but when I get frustrated and talk to God I pretty much tell Him like it is. So I sat there alone, crying , and told Him, “Life sometimes just really sucks”! I mean, He knows my heart anyway, so why clean it up for Him? Besides, when life is really putting us through a ringer, we really don’t feel like standing on ceremony or being politically correct with God, now do we? (I found myself wishing I had brought a tissue with me. One of my other things with God is I let myself cry because He also knows the pain I feel. The Bible states that He actually counts my tears. They are very important in the human healing process). So there I was crying, and suddenly God spoke to my heart a very profound thing! He said to me very clearly, “You forget that life is not about who you are but about “whose” you are”.

I realized right then the error of my struggle. You see, when life is about who you are, you are always struggling to get from a lower level to a higher one. (That ladder now comes back into view here). Life will always be about, “I am trying so hard to get somewhere in life and something, or someone, always slaps me down”. This, my dear, is the highway to feeling like a failure and that is not what we are in God’s eyes or in reality. When life is about who you are it becomes a competition and someone will always seem like they are making out better, especially when life has become hard. God sees our journey as a race, but not one where we are racing alone or in competition with others. In contrast, when life becomes about “whose” you are, the power of success and stability is placed right at the throne where Jesus sits. When we see life through the eyes as someone who belongs to the Savior of the world then there is no way we can ever fail even when life is not going well in our own view. There is no climb this way because we already sit in high places with a King! Actually it is only a matter of humility. It’s about taking the focus off ourselves as the powerful one and putting it on the One who truly is the all powerful one. Humility is a very amazing thing. It never strips us of our dignity or our accomplishments but it places them in a realm where they are much more miraculous than if we were to do things only on our own.

Knowing whose you are through the journey will always keep you looking at the miraculous while seeing yourself sitting in high places. You will also seek the lessons in life when things don’t seem to go as you planned. Sometimes life happens a certain way to reveal something we need to see that will more benefit us in the long run.

An affirming statement for you!

“I see myself sitting in the high place with the Savior of the world. There is nothing I can do that will ever be considered a failure. I need not climb in my own strength because I have miraculous help from that throne. When it appears I have failed, I will not accept this as truth. I will look for the lesson and the blessing that comes in other directions. Life is about my journey and God sees it as a success. I am an overcomer because I belong to a King. I have wisdom that comes from above and I accept that wisdom in all decisions I make along the way. I thank Jesus for being there for me and taking away the burden of always striving and I accept His peace and rest for my journey ahead”.

Identifying in Him,

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

Jenine Marie Coaching