This is love in friendship: When you never have to ever guess as to whether someone truly cared. When life throws a wrench in the works, they are there seeking out how you are. When it comes to defending you, there is no question in their mind that they will. Love stays regardless of time or distance. Love remains regardless of circumstances or trials. Love heals, regardless of who is involved and who is not. Love forgives, no matter how much it hurts or how it all happened. Love is a gift from God, not something someone plays with for a while and then leaves…
Love in friendship is a special kind of love; a bond that automatically states, “I have your back and I will stand with you no matter what the cost.” There is a huge difference between having someone’s back and stabbing someone in the back when they are down. Having someone’s back means even if it will cost something desired the friend comes first and not the other way around.
Love pursues, not to prove someone’s “rightness” or “wrongness” but to state “I am sorry” when someone is wronged and to fix it. Sometimes fixing things means going against the current or correcting the action by reversing it. Love understands or tries to understand the other’s point of view and gives it validation even if it is not agreed upon. Love makes things right when actions have created a wrong. Then love lets it all go…
Out of all of the things that remain, the love of God will be there when others pull back and create a breach that hurts in the heart. The heart will heal, but a breach left unsettled will always remain a breach.
Oh my goodness: energy cords! Energy cords are entanglements and attachments from previous generations and our current lives. Energy cords can be sneaky little buggers! They happen spiritually and also generationally according to our wounds and actions. They mostly attach to our soul wounds and if gone unchecked they will rule and create havoc on our emotions and lives.
Energy cords can be a deep cause of repeated bad choices in our lives or repeated relational issues. Our lessons always come through our wounds and our relationships. If you want to know what is causing havoc in your life, take a look at repeated patterns or negative feelings. Are you jealous, envious, or always on edge around certain people? Do you seem to make huge mistakes in your relationship choices? This might come through as choosing a different relationship but still experiencing the same issues. This is not the time to look at the other person but to look deeply at yourself. It is time to cut cords and create new boundaries!
For instance, if you see a pattern of always somehow forming attachments to overbearing prideful people, then take a peek at what is inside of you that has an unhealthy desire to serve that personality in them. Energetically we attach ourselves through our wounds and weaknesses to certain types of people. That attachment becomes a cord that keeps us off balance and many times deeply unhappy with our lives.
Energy is REAL folks! Energy exists and the only way to get away from the entrapment of yet another mistake is to first cut the cord that keeps you attached to the problem. THEN it is time to heal the wound and reprogram your choices and responses. This can be accomplished by working with a very experienced intuitive energy healer/master.
Learning to cut karmic cords can be generationally healing! Learning to cut cords to heal a wound can be life-altering! If you have been crying out to be free you are not reading this by mistake! It is time to BE FREE! Let’s cut the cord that keeps you attached to unwanted behaviors, relationships, and misguided choices. Patterns emerge in your life for a reason. They are here to teach you a lesson for yourself. Take control! Don’t sit in darkness but find yourself awake in the light!
Set up energy healing and cord-cutting sessions by going to JenineMarie.com, and connecting with me. I would love to be a part of your healing journey!
Loving you from here,
Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry
** This is not meant to be medical or psychological advice but an alternative spiritual method of creating life changes that really work!
There is no doubt, internal healing is work. It’s the most precious work any of us can do in this life. Some wounds are so deep we might not even know they exist until something comes along in the form of life experience and touches a painful part of the soul. Since our soul is eternal with God, all internal healing is also eternal. We will all carry our soul healing or wounds with us when we exit this human form.
As hard as internal healing might seem, it is necessary and important. Internal wounds will spill out into our everyday lives and relationships. Our lives can be driven through our wounds or our healing of them. The choice to heal is all our personal decision. Placing a band-aide on our internal wounds only delays or aborts the process of completed healing. Using outside influences to make things temporarily feel better will not heal anything. Outer stimulation that comes from addictions, denial, or covering by distractions will not assist in soul healing at all. The only thing accomplished by using these means is denying ourselves the blessing of healing and ascending to higher levels of understanding our existence.
Gratitude and love are powerful places to begin the process of internal healing of soul wounds. There is something about a grateful heart that turns our focus in the direction of positive reflection. Gratitude is also a companion. When gratitude spreads out into our internal and external energy field it prepares our foundation for forgiving ourselves and others. Both of the energies of gratitude and forgiveness will naturally draw us into higher love.
The more profound effect is changing our actions naturally which heals our relationship with ourselves, others, God, and our lives. Internal healing is work as I have stated but it is work that is well worth our efforts. I have not even come to the subject of the amount of physical healing that can be accomplished through soul healing.
In order to begin just start at the beginning! Decide. When a decision is made and an intention is set forth the healing work has just begun. Get real with your healing decision and be real with what you need to accomplish. There are many means for internal healing and discovery. It is amazing what can be uncovered by means of meditation, hypnosis, connecting with nature, drawing on God’s love, and the comfort of being in a relationship with yourself.
I have set forth this affirmation to get us all started. “Today, right now, I have decided to heal my soul wounds. I will be grateful for my relationship with myself. I will be grateful for loving myself enough to embark on a healing journey.”
I wish you well on your journey of healing and as always,
When we ponder relationships, we don’t often consider the relationship we have with ourselves. We do, in fact, have a self-relationship. We all get an image of our personal relationship with ourselves daily. Acknowledging our self-relationship can bring a lot of insight and healing when we choose to be honest with ourselves. Please don’t underestimate the importance of taking a little moral inventory to see where self-image can be improved, adjusted a little bit, or maybe a lot! Your “self” is calling and talking out loud! You, and only you, can make changes in yourself and make a difference in the quality of your life and your self-relationship.
Examples of ways we have a relationship with ourselves:
We see our personal relationship with ourselves through our temperament.
If you are a spouting geyser every time something rubs you the wrong way, your “self” is telling you it’s time to cool your heels. Remember, what you put out there in life is what will eventually come back, if not already. People view you, make assumptions and judgments about you according to your temperament. Even closer, your feelings about yourself are revealed through what you spew out. Don’t try to kid yourself here. You might try to fool others, but you can never kid yourself. You know who you are. The question is, “Why do you let the pressure valve out on everyone, and where does that anger come from?”
Maybe some emotional healing work is needed to cool down the emotional relationship you have with yourself. Believe me; eventually, your body will remind you to quit being such a hot head by breaking down in ways you don’t expect it to. Make it “be kind to your body time” and take steps to cool the hot embers in your heart.
Our personal relationship with ourselves is revealed through our self-image.
If you find you are continually comparing yourself to others, feel slighted by what others have, or wish you had attributes others have, then your self-image is screaming at you! It is easy to state how unique you are, how special God made you, or remind you of your gift to this world. The more challenging part is to learn how to believe how valuable you are, just the way you are.
If there are simple ways to improve upon your outer image, then do those things. Exercise, diet changes, and a little external enhancement can go a long way. For something you can not change, learn acceptance by loving yourself daily. We are all bombarded by images of others that are photoshopped, have attributes others admire, and tempt us toward self-loathing. Self-image is not only about the outside but the inside as well. Many of our programmed loathing comes from what we have been exposed to. The subconscious mind will hold these things for you! Gee, thank you very much, right? Try some self-image-enhancing hypnotherapy or meditation. There are many videos out there. If you find it hard to stick to routines, you might need a hypnotherapist. Invest in the money to get at least six sessions for a Hypno-change! Your self-relationship will thank you!
Our personal relationship with ourselves is revealed through the act of procrastination.
If there are things in life, you would like to do but never seem to get around to it. Or, if there are things that need to be taken care of but you never do, you are being held captive by the procrastination monster! When you procrastinate about doing something you know you should, you could either be suffering from a form of depression or your mind is too fixed on overthinking other things. You are lacking motivation and need a revving up of your self-motivator.
I know this might sound redundant but get organized! A scattered schedule lends toward too much time on your hands. Sooner or later, you end up putting off for another day what could have been done right now. Take the bull by the horns and get the more pressing things done first. Then go to the things you want to do to enhance your life. If you feel you need help for depression, see a counselor and help find the root of your distress. If you are overthinking, get your thoughts down on paper in a journal or talk to someone who can simply listen. Clear your mind, your heart, and your life from clutter. You will find more room to get those “need to do”or“want to do” things accomplished! If you are having trouble sticking to a routine or getting organized, once again, find a hypnotherapist! I can not say enough about the ability hypnosis has to help change unwanted habits to those desired!
I hope you see what I am getting at here. Your relationship with yourself will determine your ability to have one with others. Do some digging and excavating. If there are things you know that need changing then change them! It is never too late to have a great self-relationship and enhance your relationship with others around you! You might even find yourself attracting new friendships, new people, and new opportunities into your life. Don’t take yourself for granted. You guide your own ship. Do it with honesty and with self-revelation!
It is an issue that has plagued relationships since the beginning of time. One day someone wakes up and realizes their love given has or is no longer going to be returned. All of the time and moments that have been put into trying to bond with someone have now seemingly been wasted. First, I want to say; nothing is ever wasted. Time well spent is a lesson well learned. (I think that should be a quote somewhere)!
I don’t want it to appear I’m stating the process of grieving an ended love is an easy thing; it is not. The painful process of severing ties with someone you thought you knew is nothing to take lightly. Breakups are just plain painful.
Eventually, we have to pick up the pieces and move on with life. Expect this to be a process. Grief is a process. Recreating life is a process. So, what do we do when the one we loved no longer loves us in return? Let me give you some starting points.
Face the truth head-on. Realize that your life has now changed; you have changed. What was once time spent with someone else will now evolve into time spent on just yourself.
Take life as it comes; this sometimes means one day at a time and sometimes one breath at a time. Don’t expect things to fall into place in one second. It took time to create a relationship, and it will take time to complete your severing of one.
Permit yourself to grieve. Cry, pray, and meditate on what your heart is feeling. Ask yourself what you need right now. The answer to all of your questions will be revealed, and you will be surprised at how much you know what to do.
Celebrate yourself and the life you hold. I am not advocating that hurting in your heart is a time for celebration, but there is a time to celebrate the brilliant creation and creator you are. Remember, you are a gift of life, a unique creation in God’s universe.
Make your moments count instead of counting your moments. I genuinely believe it is not the time we spend in life but the quality of time that makes a difference. Create cherished moments that become your own memories.
Realize your own worth and gift to this world. Everyone has a unique presence and present we give to this world and our planet. Find yours in the light of where you are at this very now moment.
Honor when your heart needs to rest and rest it well. There is so much to look forward to in life, but there is a time of rest necessary to recover from heartache.
Know you are not broken but transitioning. You might feel hurt at the time, but your life will come back together in different ways. See your transition for what it is. This moment in time is a moment to form yourself again. You will be a butterfly again soon.
Talk to those who love and care about you. Be honest about how you are feeling. Make sure whomever you talk to is wise enough and stable enough to hear your heart pain. This might be in the form of a counselor or therapist, but remember you were created for a relationship. We all need love from those whom you can call a true friend. Find those who are friends and not those who want just to hear your pain. A good listener embodies compassion for others, especially you.
Love yourself. Learn to heal, to laugh, to cry, and be human. Give gifts to yourself in ways you never did before. The gift of a spiritual awakening is an excellent place to begin. You owe it to yourself and your life to allow the process of grief to complete itself. This means honoring your love as much as your hurt and anger. A life in balance is a life well spent.
I am sure there are so many things I have missed, especially some of the details that come from walking through the severing of ties, grieving, and regaining a new life. A good life coach or counselor can help you reprioritize your life to fit the season you now find yourself in!
There was nothing more sweet than watching the romantic dances between my mother and father as a young child. I would peek around the corner just to watch them dance to their favorite music, lights dimmed low, and serenity on their faces. Life was not always serene with them but there were those sweet moments that reveals themselves when my parents were caught up in the magic and romance of marriage and relationship.
I have to admit the moments gave me that old time movie impression of what romance was supposed to be like. It was always the wine, roses, music, and of course the dance of romance. I think it’s why I embraced marrying couples for a time. The sweet smiles, gentle tears, glowing faces, and of course the romance between two people.
There are so many ways to keep that magical moment sparkling for years to come. Life does not have to get boring or dull. Marriage can evolve into a depth of companionship that goes beyond the sun and sky. If we are together, it might seem strange to say, we were meant to be together. Even if it is for a moment in time.
Our moments should be cherished although some of them might be strained. It is the dance between two people making their way toward becoming one. We don’t always feel this way, but our oneness is magical. We attracted a person into our lives in order to learn, to love, and to be entranced by that magical dance.
I know it is not always a pretty sight. We strain to find our way when there are moments we feel we have packed our bags and moved in with an alien from another planet. I have to tell you, though, when you feel this way, look around sweetheart. Like attracts like, and you just married yourself in another form. Yes, we differ in some ways. Those are the gifts we bring to the other. It’s the greatest trade off in all the history of humanity. This beautiful and sometimes strenuous dance, we might call a mess at times and others we call it MAGIC!
If you have ever known me, or have been connected to me, you know how much I love my work. There is nothing more amazing to me than to be trusted enough to be allowed into another person’s heart and life. I count it an honor to be held in confidence. At times it has been to such a level, I have been told things that my clients have never revealed to another single soul.
There is nothing quite as satisfying to me than to know I have left a conversation and my client has had an “aha” moment, or has felt a great load being lifted from their shoulders. Yet, there have been those from time to time who have either come right out and told me I had not helped them at all. Or there have been those who have just quietly distanced themselves from me. In those cases I would get off the phone or go home feeling tied up in knots wondering what I could have done better. I took it hard and usually put all of the load on myself.
Comforting myself, I would reason that I am not perfect, and don’t know all of the answers. While this is true, there had been one piece of the puzzle I had not considered, “I can not assist anyone who does not love themselves enough to realize they need to make their own changes”. I can facilitate, but I can’t change anyone. Change comes from the inside out. One element that has to always be there is self love.
The amazing thing, is the most difficult clients revealed to me my own lack of self confidence and self love. Everyone is a mirror to us no matter what the role we play in one another’s lives. Literally, my rejecting clients expected me to fix them and I strained within myself thinking that it was my job.
Learning the lesson about fixing my own self, loving myself, and being confident within myself, has been a hard one. I’ve had to weed through all of the junk that led me to “people please” and allow others to judge me, or compromise my sense of self worth. Bottom line, we are all a work in progress. With my progression, I discovered it has been alright to walk away from those who dishonored me, because I could honor myself. It’s easier said than done.
This is the reality; no one changes without having to do the work and without finding self love first. Without self love we only live in the reflection of those who want us to conform to their image. I take a deep breath and relax when I remember that the only image I need to conform to is God’s. Even then, it is not God outside of me but God who is a part of my being. The power of love is in our own DNA. I had to get a grasp of this completely, or I would always feel like I would fall short.
It’s work, but when done right everything shifts in the right direction. People leave because they become insulted, irritated, or offended. I’ve learned to let them go. The payoff is others will appear. It’s like a miracle of life. Those that appear are the ones who are ready for what I have to offer and always give me the gift of appreciation in return.
This is the pleasure of life. Walking in the Light of love is always the greatest feeling in the world. Sometimes I forget, like I suddenly have some sort of amnesia. Spirit always draws me back to where I need to be. Sometimes this happens with a struggle but when I turn to the greatest love ever, I always remember.
So, with all of this said; the greatest work I have ever achieved was to love myself the way God does. When this happens everything falls into place. Resistance never allows miracles to happen. Self doubt and struggle will never bring balance or miracles. Yes, my clients have taught me the road to least resistance. The responsibility has always been their own. Mine is to be there, to listen, to interject wisdom when wisdom comes, and to smile at the end of the day.
A job well done always comes with a life well loved.
I love women’s business marketing groups! Elevating women has always been a passion of mine. Of course it is! I am one! I am also a female business owner. Before I moved from California to Texas I not only belonged to a women’s business group but led one for a time as well. These groups are based on relationship marketing, or establishing relationships with one another in order that we all profit from the experience.
The only time when these groups are not a plus is when participants don’t understand the concept of relationship marketing. Or maybe even deeper, the concept of relationship. Let me give you an example of one experience:
During time spent as a member of a women’s business marketing group, I met a young lady who owned a multi-level marketing business I was very familiar with. In fact, it’s a great company. We not only met at the group but she asked me for coffee and even lunch together outside the group. She was a very lovely lady who proudly pulled up in her Mercedes each month as the group met. She thought I had a great business and seemed very interested. We agreed to help one another find business by promoting each other. It appeared I had not only a new business connection but also a new “friend”.
Outside of the group that met monthly, we also met weekly and talked on the phone. Her main aim was for me to use her products, which I did. I loved them anyway! I used to be a part of her same company in years gone by and found great value in the company. I heard a lot about how much she admired me, and she might have. Yet, there was not a whole lot of promoting of my business on her end and a lot of promoting of her on my end. Even though I brought this up several times, things never changed. One day the moment had to come when I had to say, “I’m sorry dear, my services rendered have expired.”
Relationship marketing means to establish a mutual respectful relationship in which both parties, or businesses, thrive from the connection. Honestly, since we are about relationship on this planet, this is the best way to do business and to do life. Just remember that relationship is a mutual exchange and respect for one another. Both sides benefit from the connection, unless one is struggling and compassion causes us to help them out until they stand stronger. This is very admirable, by the way.
I’m writing this to say, “be careful”. Learn from my mistake. If you find yourself in any unequal partnership, whether business or personal, then maybe its time to re-evaluate the connection.
I lumped boasting and pride together because I think they like to hang out together. Have you ever been at a gathering and overheard someone talking about their latest accomplishment or success? This is different than sharing great news. Boasting and being prideful has an inner working of the heart that states someone believes they are better than others. None of us really have to be too discerning to know when another is doing this. It comes from desiring either attention or praise.
Boasting can be very subtle sometimes. When we give to others, make an impression and then go around and tell everyone, it’s not very flattering. Boasting is just plain self centered. For instance, when someone boasts of their good works afterward it reveals a heart that only wanted some form of credit and definately is in need of inner healing. This is not the intention in which any of us should be giving.
Pridefulness is right up there. In fact, boasting mostly comes from pride. Our goodness should be naturally seen and not purposefully exposed to be seen. Pride can get pretty ugly. Have you ever tried to have a discussion with a pride filled person, or even spend time with them? It is alright to be proud of our accomplishments and even display them! This is not the same. Remember, it is the intention of the heart that is the focus. True boasting or pridefulness comes from either attention getting or feeling one is better than others in some way. Pride oversteps boundaries and has a sense of entitlement. Someone who is filled with pride believes they are entitled to better things than others. Sometimes those who have a sense of entitlement believe they even deserve more. It’s ugly all the way around and not true love.
Boasting and pridefulness will judge others as smaller or more insignificant. Sometimes a person with these issues will believe they are smarter, more wise, or even more gifted. Pride and giftedness do not mix at all! A gift comes out of the fountain of humility and never pride.
Real love, Godly love, is not like either of these. Love gives out of kindness and compassion. Love is happy within itself for accomplishments and has no need to be displayed for attention; which would be a sign of the need of inner healing. There is no pride of life in Godly love. God- love is humble, admirable, and can be sensed as so good!
When someone who has accomplished much but has God- love they glow from the inside out for all that has been done or achieved. God- love does not lord itself over others or think higher of itself. God- love extends a higher seat to those around; wishes, hopes, and prays for those whom it comes in contact. God-love displays the light of God, a heart of Oneness, and a spirit of Unity. It comes from that inner temple where God resides and not the human ego self. When true God-love is present between two people in relationship it gives to the other with such joy without looking for something in return. It is a humility and holy presence that is a gift that goes into eternity.
(Remember nothing is in perfection. We are in a learning process. So as you read, let things soak in, and discern, remember to learn and not judge yourself or others)
As I have mentioned in previous blog posts, real love is not a feeling, although there is a component of love that brings about emotion. Sometimes the emotion gives a sense of “feeling good” or “feeling bad”. I think this is where our painful love songs tend to come from and the ones that add to the idea that love is exhilarating. It can be, because attraction can be euphoric. It’s supposed to be that way or no one would ever become involved with others. The euphoria we feel is experienced through the release of feel good neurotransmitters, or chemicals, from the brain. They, of course, trigger our emotions. Our hearts pound, our brains feel fixated on thoughts of a new connection with someone we feel very special about. These are wonderful! Don’t miss those moments.
Real love has to do with characteristics. One of the definitions of God is “love”. What is being defined are the characteristics of love and those of God. The bible sends a message that describes love in the form of the characteristics of God and what real love should be like. One, is that “love is patient”. Patience waits. It waits through adversity, questioning, difficulty, or even upon beautiful anticipated moments. Patience as a characteristic of love states, “I will wait for you until you catch up”, or “I will wait for you no matter what.” Patience brings the ability to persevere. Perseverance is the character muscle that is built up when we work on being patient with someone or even ourselves. Think about how painful building muscle can be. Building perseverance through patience can be painful as well. It means we have to WAIT. Keep in mind that waiting builds strength. When we learn to wait we become internally stronger and more stable in our ability to love.
Being patient also means to love during adversity or even bad behavior. We don’t have to love the behavior. This is where we get confused. It is possible to love a person but not the behavior coming from them. We don’t have to accept bad behavior either, but we can step back and wait because that is what love does. That is what God does with us. God waits. He waits through our bad behavior, through our growth spurts, through our hard decisions and through our distractions in life. Aren’t you glad He waits? If it were not truth, then it would mean that God would leave us, which is promised would never happen.
When I close my eyes and think of God waiting, I get a sense of a presence that is still, silent, and embracing. Being patient is easier with this image in mind. The next time you express impatience, take a deep breath and take this image with you. Think of God as being still, silent, loving, and waiting. Think of God as embracing and caring. Allow this image to fill your heart with love for whomever you feel impatient with. Even if you are feeling impatient with yourself, take the time to see the image of God in this way. Then take that image and visualize it as light moving into your heart and circulate it through your whole being. Use mindfulness to state to yourself, ” I am perfecting patience, and I am persevering. I am loving.”
Then thank yourself for taking on a characteristic of true love!