Do You Hold Back Your Truth Just to Keep Peace? Here is What You Need to Know

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Let me encourage you to be completely honest with yourself. First, I need to ask you this question. Do you avoid bringing up subjects you are concerned about in relationships to try to maintain peace? If your answer is yes, let’s stop and consider this question for a moment. Close your eyes and think about a time when you held back your emotions, comments, expressions, or your truth.

Now that you have a good example place one hand on your stomach and one on your heart. Keep that moment when you are held back in your mind as you breathe. What does holding back the issues you had on your mind cause you to feel inside? Can you feel the impact of the emotion or the disturbed feelings within yourself?

Holding back your ideas, comments, emotions, honesty, and truth can deeply harm your mind and body. Consider these questions. What are you afraid of, and what will happen if you express to someone what you honestly are thinking? Will your open expression cause a rift in your relationship or make someone angry at you? Do you imagine you will end up in tears or harming your own body as you absorb the impact of someone else’s responses?

As you answer the questions I have posed above, consider the control issues in your life. Are you are allowing inner torment to keep perceived peace? Energetically not speaking your truth will cause an imbalance in your throat, heart area, center, and even at the base of your spine. As an energy healer, I can tell you, holding back your true thoughts and emotions from someone whose response has conditioned you to do so will imbalance you in ways that can eventually cause damaging physical problems.

You were born with tenacity and courage. You have the power of an infinite spirit that resides within you. Everything that is encountered in your life can be handled efficiently and confidently when you connect with your Creator’s power inside of you. Nothing stops you! Knowing God is within you, and divine support also enfolds you on the outside can release you from tormenting issues you need to express but can’t find the courage in your human self.

Consider all of the things I have just presented to you and meditate for a few moments on what you can do to solve your holding patterns. Not everyone will be a safe harbor for you, but you can be that for yourself as you allow God to help you rise and be someone who walks in balance and truth!

Let’s rise!

“Infinite Spirit of God, release me into the hands of true courage. I am all I was created to be. I am the express image of my true Creator and comforter. Be my comforter and my compassion as I release my emotions, honesty, and truth, toward those who have offended me, held me back, oppressed me, or kept me from being my true self.”

Release yourself today and every day! YOU are a unique being who walks in high places with the One who will never let you down!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph. D.

Concealed Weapons

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When something is concealed, it is hidden from human exposure. Concealing occurs to keep others from knowing something, either for our protection or for someone else’s destruction. Weapons are not always material. Sometimes they are hidden truths about ourselves we don’t want to expose. Often for our perceived protection, these also can bring just as much destruction once they are revealed.

When a person conceals things from others around them, they are not hiding anything. Every single item is exposed eventually. The fallout is hard, depending upon how long it was concealed. I know how much this hurts others. I’ve had things hidden from me. When they were discovered, the pain of the revelation was so much worse than the original issue.

Deeds concealed, justified by our inner thinking, can be worse than a real weapon because the fallout will kill the inner being of another person. When a wrong deed is done to someone, it hurts. When it is concealed and exposed, it kills. Let me explain. We all have soul scars and boundaries. Soul scars are not so great. They are covered over wounds that are also concealed, but often even to ourselves. When a concealed deed hits the soul scar of another person, the result is the opening of the wound. This makes the exposed act worse than a real shot in the stomach. It bleeds out all of the inner injuries from before and multiplies the effect of what was revealed.

Humans can’t stand exposure. It reveals something terrible about their character. Even worse, they blame the very person they hurt because they often don’t want to take responsibility. This is a “garden of Eden” situation. Adam and Eve concealed the weapon they disobeyed God. Once revealed, the painful part of the exposure was so much worse than if they had just been honest about it. They suffered the consequences for many generations over and over.

Yet, God covered them. This does not mean God made it alright to conceal things. They suffered greatly. They were forgiven, but the fallout from their concealed weapon was more than they bargained for. Adam had to toil and work hard for a living that God had previously gifted to him. Eve had to have painful childbirth women still experience today. Childbirth is a joyful experience, but like everything else that is birthing, it comes with pain and sorrow.

This is the fallout of the concealed weapon. Information is discovered about it, and the bullet causes pain for years to follow. What is even worse, we often don’t take responsibility for our own things we purposefully hide. We tend to justify as to why it is right. Believe me; it is never right. Concealed weapons will even bite its owner. Remember the snake in the garden of Eden story? The snake struck the heel of humans. It’s a snake bite that can hurt for a long time. The good news is the snake was also stomped upon. Although the pain of the bite was present, the victory is in the truth.

Symbolically Adams’ crushing of the snakes head stands for victory when truth wins out. This only comes from the love of God when covering happens. Don’t mistake covering for concealing. Every deed is exposed in the light of God. Covering occurs when, after exposure, repentance and forgiveness occurs. God will never help us hide our weapons. God’s desire is for us to walk uprightly and free. We can not be open when we conceal our guns. If we think so, we are kidding ourselves. The only way to freedom is through exposure.

First we have to face our own inner concealed weapons. Then expose them through speaking the truth about them. Repent, be sorry for hiding things from others that we know would hurt them if they knew. Then take the discipline and the lesson that comes from concealing and hiding something. It might be hard to take, but its better than God exposing it for us later. Sometimes we are unwilling to face our own demons, so to speak. It’s much better than God’s light shining upon them for everyone to see. Don’t allow concealed weapons to kill others and yourself. Take the fallout now and confess your gun. It is so much easier now than allowing God to pull it out and shine a light upon it.

I remember this in a previous relationship. God exposed infidelity. The wound for me was crushing, but the exposure for the other was so much worse than anything I might have felt. It was exposed openly for everyone to see. Do you want this for yourself or others? Maybe its time to pull out our weapons and lay them down at the feet of the One who knows it all anyway. Even more, expose it before it gets told for you. This is done out of love. It might not seem like it, but it is. God never wants His creation to have to carry such a heavy responsibility. It takes a lot of heavy lifting to keep those weapons concealed. One will build upon another. Confess it all, and deal with what you need to deal with. In the long run, your life will be so much lighter!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

What Defines You?

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The question my title presents is much more important than you might think. We tend to become what our minds believe we are. Sometimes it feels like a true battlefield. Our minds might insist one thing when we want it to believe something else. Our belief is tested when someone accuses us of being something we don’t feel we are or don’t desire to be. This is when the question in my title becomes even more important.

What is it that defines you? Are you defined by what others think or say you are? Or, are you defined by old stories your head might be telling you that spring up from the past?Sometimes people can define themselves by what they were told they were from others long ago. The crazy thing is those times have long drifted into nothingness, and yet, sometimes we are still battling those words or thoughts. Sometimes they are blame or shame based statements toward us that we take on today.

The mind is the biggest battlefield we can ever try to overcome. Not only will it tell you things about yourself that are not true, but if you believe the thoughts, you will also react as if they are true. Old thoughts in error can guide you to assume things about other people that are not true as well. I always tell others to not assume things about someone’s thoughts. Always ask! It’s the only way to really truly find out. Even if you don’t want to know the answer. Truth is truth. We only should act out of what is true and not a false belief as to what is true.

This is why it is so important to reprogram your mind daily. It is a daily battle to conquer the false statements we believe about ourselves and others. Any time something comes to mind about yourself or someone else, ask first , ‘Is it true?” before you act. Otherwise you might act out of a lie or false belief. This can cause more hardship than you ever wanted to experience, or even worse, hurt someone or yourself needlessly.

Take the time to reprogram your mind daily. Use what you want to be true about yourself, life, and align your thoughts with those goals. Also, erase your false beliefs about others by starting each day as brand new. Take in these affirmations:

“I affirm that my life will go as I have determined in my mind it will be.

“I affirm that I will ask others about their thoughts before I assume.”

” I affirm that I will walk in peace with all beings, act in honesty with myself and others.”

“I affirm I will work through whatever I believe about others that makes me uncomfortable as to not harm them.”

“I affirm to work through the hard things so that peace and harmony can be my bannor and not chaos that I create for myself.:

You might think of some new ones for yourself! Bottom line, don’t assume you know. Also, change what you don’t want in life to what you do want by creating peaceful resolutions toward that goal.

“First do no harm.”

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry

Characteristics of Love: Love Keeps No Record of Wrongs (Forgives) and MORE!

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I’m almost at the end of my series on love as it is described in the bible. I think this one is harder for most people than the rest, but it sure is not hard for God. Love keeps no record of wrongs. This means true God-love forgives, but more than that. It also means that true love forgets as well. Aren’t you glad that God is not sitting somewhere with a list of all of the things you are forgiven for but He does not forget? Aren’t you glad every time you mess up God does not bring up all of the times you messed up before?

Real love that does not come from human ego does not keep a list of what happened 10 years ago or even longer. True forgiveness is also forgetfulness. When we love someone we forget their past transgressions and keep on loving them. It’s alright to have different opinions and agree to disagree. What I am talking about is when one person wrongs another. Love forgives them and then forgets it. This happens even if there is no settlement of the issue. Love endures FOREVER. Love endures strife, disagreement, disappointment, and even the most hurtful things that can come up in human existence.

If you think this is hard then maybe turn it around. How do you want love to be when you mess up? We all want forgiveness and forgetfulness. We want second chances and even more. Where love resides we want the important parts of love to endure forever and the rest to fall away. It’s called healing, oneness, kindness, compassion, understanding, and wisdom. It takes maturity to have this kind of love. It gives us all something to strive for. To love freely without condemnation is the greatest gift ever. To continue to love when rejected, torn, and hurt, is God’s way.

We all lose our way. We anger, we have upset emotions and our hurts are exposed for anyone around us. That’s actually a good thing. Nothing heals when hidden. Jesus said the truth sets us free. That works with everything. Forgiveness sets us free. Forgetfulness sets the other free. What kind of love would you like to embody?

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry

Characteristics of Love: Love Does Not Delight in Evil but Rejoices With the Truth

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If you have been following along with my blog posts lately you might have discovered my “love” series is taken from the attributes of love described in the bible in the book of 1 Corinthians chapter 13. Isn’t it nice that we have a guideline? I kind of skipped to this one because it stood out for me today as something we all should pay attention to in this world. We pretty much have a mixed bag of nuts here on earth, and I say that respectfully! What I mean, is there is a huge combination between evil and truth. Maybe it just seems that way because technology allows us to know more than we used to. Or evil seems to be getting more prevalent. A lot of the minor negative issues in our world today have more to do with impatience and lies. Then there are the real evil issues like bombings, murders and war.

What I am going to address are inner characteristics that have to do with God’s love and what it means to embody it. As you might have discovered by now, especially if you have been reading my posts, it is a powerful thing to carry. God’s love is so powerful, I believe it heals. I’m sure the purest of love was in Jesus as He walked this earth and healed so many. Someone who does not delight in evil is someone who always wants the best for themselves and others. This means even our perceived enemies or those who have done us wrong. Embodying real love and truth means we always want the best for people no matter what. As you might perceive, this takes humility and forgiveness. Again, as I always emphasize, neither of these means we tolerate bad behavior. It just means their behavior does not cause us to want them to be harmed in any way. We might feel that way in the beginning but real love will act as a covering.

In the story of Adam and Eve, God covered their “nakedness” in the garden after they disobeyed Him and lied about it. God saw through this because the Spirit of God is all knowing. Their nakedness symbolizes this exposure. Yet, God is pure love and can not hate. Within His forgiveness He covered them. In the story it was a literal covering of their body, but symbolically it is a protection from harm and an example of true God-love.  They received discipline. True love always disciplines as well. We can not think we will do harm and then expect to not have it come back upon us, but God’s grace always protects and covers us when we go to the temple of humility and truth. Grace and forgiveness are powerful healers but they are always balanced with discipline and consequences. This is a part of our God created universe of law and balance.

When the truth wins out, we are walking in divine love and honesty. This means being honest with ourselves as much as with others. Actually, we have to be honest with ourselves first before we can be honest with others. Either way, we have God in our temple inside and everything is exposed anyway. Often, like Adam and Eve, we trick ourselves into believing if no one knows or finds out then a lie does not exist or we will escape the full discipline for our hidden actions. Not true. How can we hide anything from God who lives in us? There is a Scripture in the bible that says, “be sure your sin will find you out.”  This means you will be exposed by the pure standard that is set up by the love of God. It is not that God wants you to “be in trouble” but to expose you so you will be disciplined, humbled, and covered. God wants healing and pure love and truth. True love always rejoices when the truth wins out.

It might not seem fair to not be able to hide in our mistakes and lies but actually the most loving thing in the world is to be exposed. How can we ever learn the power of true love if there is no discipline for our actions. So we can therefore rejoice when the truth wins out! Whether is it for ourselves or others, to see discipline within the truth is to see true love in action. It is a powerful cleansing and the beginning of walking in more of the Light of Life. A lie will bring spiritual death. The truth will bring life. Jesus was a huge advocate of the truth. As God has explained, it sets us free. This is the same whether it is truth, the opposite of a lie, or divine higher truth about our spiritual existence. A lie will fragment us but the truth will make us whole. A lie separates us, but the truth will delight in our unity.

So, you see, to not delight in evil on any level actually heals. We should desire evil to be exposed and to expose it when we are able. When we do this we are acting in true love. The Light always wants to shine to expose darkness. In that way there is more Light and more truth.

I remember when I was a child I lied to my mother about a very insignificant thing. Boy was she angry! I wondered why she got upset over something so small. I even wondered why I lied about something so small. Anyway, I was banished from my favorite television program and sent to my room with the door closed. She never came in to check on me even when she heard me crying. That was a very dark night for me as a little girl but very significant. I had to face my lie. Yes, I had tried to cover it up first, but it was exposed, and very quickly. I was not very happy about that at the moment but I had to face the consequences of my actions. It might seem very insignificant considering the issues we face in this world today but the lesson is the same. We can not hide from the light of truth. It always seeks out to expose us, teach us, humble us, heal us, and grow us up. I told my mother the truth after that, even when it was hard. It often was hard, but I found she was easier on me when I was honest than when I thought I got away with something.

I know it might seem like a childish lesson but in all honesty, had she not exposed it, I might have grown to be a less honest person. We bonded closer after that. The truth always wins out, wants the best for all of us, and is the highest form of love there is. It’s God love and the lesson I learned helped me to also expose evil and lies much easier and stronger since I understand it’s the right thing to do. It’s a loving thing to do. Sometimes it makes people very angry but exposure is still a very loving thing to do.

So, please, understand to not delight in evil. Don’t wish harm on anyone no matter what they have done. Expose the lies you know of, especially if they are your own, and allow the truth to win out. That way we can all rejoice in the truth whether it is human truth or higher spiritual truth. Exposure and discipline will give us both of them.

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry

Characteristics of Love: Love Does Not Envy

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Envy is an interesting thing. It’s more than jealousy. It wants what someone else has, is or does. Sometimes envy even wants to live the life of another. It can truly go too far, and it happens. In Buddhist tradition, all suffering or discontentment comes from wanting what we can’t have. I think it also comes from wanting what others have and trying to get it. In my mind, suffering can be losing one’s true self in the midst of trying to have or obtain what others have. Sometimes envy gets us in trouble. When it goes way overboard, wanting what others have can cause people to do just about anything to have it, even to the extent of breaking the law and ruining what they could have had. No bail outs here. We have to learn the lesson.

Envy is an enemy of the soul. It robs us of who we are and our own personal expression of God given gifts. It also robs us of our contentment and satisfaction with our own lives. For some reason humans tend to think the grass is always greener in someone else’s back yard, fancy house, interesting job, or relationship. I could mention quite a few but I think you can come up with your own list. Have you ever wanted something someone else had? Even a relationship? Sometimes it might be a house or property, or a sense of status. We cause ourselves suffering by this type of envy and neglect self love and satisfaction.

Envy could never be a part of true love because loving has to do with being true to ourselves and others. Without truth and honesty then our love is not real, its fake and formed on no true foundation. God’s foundation is firm and built on truth, self awareness and awareness of who we are in God. How could we even know our true selves if we are always seeking what others have, what others think we need or what others seem to be? In all honesty, every single person has issues that they wish they did not. Our learning experiences tend to follow us until we have learned them.

I remember taking a trip to Monterey, CA one weekend. As I walked the beach I saw a lady looking out a very fancy expensive looking beach house. She appeared to be crying. I often dreamed of looking out the window of a beautiful house on the beach, watching the sun set, the sun rise, and the waves of the ocean tides. I might still experience that one day but not because I envied that woman. She obviously was not happy at the moment for what ever reason she had. My point, is we all have difficult moments, so to envy anyone’s life or experience is always based on a lack of knowledge.

I’ve heard many times of those who go into homes like that just to take what does not belong to them. It all comes from the root of envy and obtaining something either from the sale of an item or the experience of it. It is all an illusion and never brings true happiness. True happiness comes from the things in life that are obtained the way they are supposed to be. In this way they are a blessing on top of what we already have in the depth of ourselves. If that depth has true love then whatever comes from it is always a blessing and truly ours as a reflection of who we are and not what we think we need.

If you catch yourself with envy in your heart, ask yourself why and what is missing? It is true love of yourself or the lack of knowing the true gift of who you are? Maybe you are discontented with what your life looks like or feels like. True joy and happiness can only come from truth. Be honest with yourself. Its a defining moment to discover the treasures of what God has planted within you and what that contributes to; not only your life but the lives of others. Remember, value does not always come from dollars and cents. Value comes from understanding who we are as God made us and our true purpose here on earth. Once we have that understanding all things can be given to us in faith and they will be truly ours to have, either material or non-material.

Let yourself dream, but dream of what is truly a reflection of who you are and not what others might be or have.

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry

Characteristics of Love: Love is Patient

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As I have mentioned in previous blog posts, real love is not a feeling, although there is a component of love that brings about emotion. Sometimes the emotion gives a sense of “feeling good” or “feeling bad”. I think this is where our painful love songs tend to come from and the ones that add to the idea that  love is exhilarating. It can be, because attraction can be euphoric. It’s supposed to be that way or no one would ever become involved with others. The euphoria we feel is experienced through the release of feel good neurotransmitters, or chemicals, from the brain. They, of course, trigger our emotions. Our hearts pound, our brains feel fixated on thoughts of a new connection with someone we feel very special about. These are wonderful! Don’t miss those moments.

Real love has to do with characteristics. One of the definitions of God is “love”. What is being defined are the characteristics of love and those of God. The bible sends a message that describes love in the form of the characteristics of God and what real love should be like. One, is that “love is patient”. Patience waits. It waits through adversity, questioning, difficulty, or even upon beautiful anticipated moments. Patience as a characteristic of love states, “I will wait for you until you catch up”, or “I will wait for you no matter what.” Patience brings the ability to persevere. Perseverance is the character muscle that is built up when we work on being patient with someone or even ourselves. Think about how painful building muscle can be. Building perseverance through patience can be painful as well. It means we have to WAIT. Keep in mind that waiting builds strength. When we learn to wait we become internally stronger and more stable in our ability to love.

Being patient also means to love during adversity or even bad behavior. We don’t have to love the behavior. This is where we get confused. It is possible to love a person but not the behavior coming from them. We don’t have to accept bad behavior either, but we can step back and wait because that is what love does. That is what God does with us. God waits. He waits through our bad behavior, through our growth spurts, through our hard decisions and through our distractions in life. Aren’t you glad He waits? If it were not truth, then it would mean that God would leave us, which is promised would never happen.

When I close my eyes and think of God waiting, I get a sense of a presence that is still, silent, and embracing. Being patient is easier with this image in mind. The next time you express impatience, take a deep breath and take this image with you. Think of God as being still, silent, loving, and waiting. Think of God as embracing and caring. Allow this image to fill your heart with love for whomever you feel impatient with. Even if you are feeling impatient with yourself, take the time to see the image of God in this way. Then take that image and visualize it as light moving into your heart and circulate it through your whole being. Use mindfulness to state to yourself, ” I am perfecting patience, and I am persevering. I am loving.”

Then thank yourself for taking on a characteristic of true love!

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry

True Love and Sexual Intimacy

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Love should be simple, and it really is, but we make it very complicated. Love has its own attributes and when we know them we know love. God describes love as something based on character and not a feeling. Love is patient, kind, long suffering, etc. We think, or believe, its supposed to be a feeling. The emotional high we get when we meet someone is attraction. We are supposed to have that too. If not, no one would ever connect with anyone and “couple”.

The sexual part of loving someone can be an emotional high, but it should be much more profound and deeper than that. It is a physical connection that has spiritual, emotional, and mindful components to the intimate action. The type of depth we can experience during sexual intimacy can not be obtained early on before establishing a deeper understanding of love and devotion. Basically what I am saying is, without getting to know the character of love then the sexual encounter is only physical. There is no devotion in the mere physical part of having sex. There is no intimacy in just going through the sexual motions. All of the things required for the characteristics of love happen aside from having sex. They are deeper, have depth of understanding, and come to agreement even if it is to agree to disagree.

Compassion, as a part of love is necessary to give sexual intimacy meaning. Without compassion there is no true passion, only lust. Do you see where I am going with this now? Can you see why God wants the physical sexual connection to be within the bonds of marriage and devotion? It takes time to even come to understand how the characteristics of love happen between two people. This also takes commitment. Within that commitment there is a discovery of the passion that comes from true compassion and depth of insight into one another.

So often couples come together after they have had a sexual encounter. This is only lust or to fulfill what is perceived to be a feeling of some form of love. Although it might seem loving there is no devotion connected to it, therefore it is merely an encounter and physical exchange. Basically said, sex without love is not real intimacy but only  a lustful encounter. This is so mistaken in society today. For some reason many have been led to believe that once a couple has a sexual encounter they are then sealed as a couple. Not so. Physical sex does not bring devotional love. Real love brings devotion within the physical encounter. We get it backwards. No wonder there are so many divorces!

Love and devotion say, ” I will be there for you when you are at your lowest, when life has sent a curve ball, when finances don’t seem to add up, when we don’t see eye to eye, and when the darkness seems bigger than the light.” Real love and devotion bring growth, and can feel frustrating at times, as two people struggle to become one within their partnered bond. This struggle is the dance we call true romance. It does not feel great at the time, but our frustration is the character of love trying to come to understanding. Two people are never the same. We are all unique. True attraction comes from getting to know a person from the inside out, not the other way around. This can be an easier process or it can be extremely hard. The choice is ours.

Do you confuse sex with love? Maybe take some time to meditate on the qualities and character of love as God has designed it to be. Then compare those qualities to what you present to another and what that other person presents to you. Can you come to an agreement with one another and go deeper into the commitment of love and devotion? If not, then the physical part is a waste of time. We often call having sex, “making love”, but the true making of love is to receive loves character and give out of that wisdom and understanding every single day, especially when it is hardest to do.

Love goes the long haul. Physical sex will not deepen it but love can deepen the physical connection. Meditate on this. Go into the Bible’s explanation of true love and compare it to what you feel you understand about it. Put it into the context of your own character. Is your love patient, kind, long suffering? Does it refuse to keep record of wrongs, but forgives as God forgives? Is your understanding of love one that is present for another because of true devotion and not duty? Deep questions. Real love will always be devotional, commitment oriented, and have a depth of kindness even when we have become angry, upset, and have discord. Real love is like a rubber band that will always spring a couple back into harmony after a hard bought if misunderstanding.

This is an opportunity to check your depth if insight and understanding of yourself and how you love your partner and also yourself. Are you patient with yourself? Do you give yourself compassion and forgiveness as well? Do you wallow in the wrong things you have done or do you keep no record of wrongs? I know I have given you a lot to think about. Maybe some meditative journal time is in order here!

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry

Assuming Things About Someone is Not Truth but a Reflection of Yourself

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Every human being has the key that unlocks the truth about themselves. Often its hard enough figuring out what those truths are let alone what someone else’s are. Unless we are mind readers, the personal thoughts, feelings, and ponderings of another individual are their own. They are not known unless or until they reveal them.

When we assume we know what another is thinking it is not truth about them. Only they hold their own truth. Our thoughts about others come from our own thoughts unless they have expressed them to us personally. For example, we can not determine if we have hurt someone or not. Another person’s feelings belong to them, and only they know what they are and why. Or, we also can not determine what another person’s possible actions are. We won’t know them until they actually act.

We all do this. We assume we know instead of ask. I’m not sure why its so hard to ask but often it is. Maybe we don’t want to know the answer so we create one. Either way, the thoughts we manufacture about another person come from our own personal experience and thoughts. We might have experienced a lot of reasons to mistrust, so we can not trust others easily but often assume they will leave us. Or we might not have a good self image so we believe others think we are unattractive.

No one can live in the reflection of another’s thoughts or actions even when we feel we know them well. Someone often told me, “We never know what others are thinking.” This is absolutely true. Unless they tell us, we don’t know. Sometimes we assume others don’t like us but in reality they might just be too shy or overwhelmed to get to know us. Assuming can bring us a lot of pain but discovering where that pain comes from can help us walk in true reality and not what we think it is.

Let me give you examples of some personal things I have observed that others assume about me.

It is often assumed if I post something on my blog or in social media it reflects what is going on in my personal life or with me as an individual. This is not always true. In fact, it is rarely true. It’s usually about what I have observed in someone else or in the character of people in general.

A great deal of the time it is assumed if I am put together, dressed well, make up on, that I am doing completely alright. This is not true at all. I was raised by example from women in my family that we put ourselves together daily. Its almost a matter of habit for me now. I put myself together with full make up, did my hair etc while I was in labor with all of my children before I went to the hospital! My outer exterior is not always a reflection of how I feel. In order to know, someone has to ask me, or they simply don’t know.

Here is a huge one. Since I was a Pastor in my past, it is often assumed that my relationship with God has slipped because my doctorate is in Transpersonal Psychology, I provide hypnotherapy and alternative healing. Actually, I have been working on these things for many years. In fact I began my first psychology degree in 1996. I went to a community college for 2 years and then a 4 year university after that. Life has been a process for me, but my relationship with God is stronger being who I am meant to be than being in a role that was truly not the right fit for me. It is a position I was placed in after my graduation from seminary. Don’t get me wrong, I loved it. In fact it was one of the more precious joys of my life. My personal devotion time is more private than it used to be but it is deeper than it used to be as well.

These are just some things I can personally relay that might bring this point to light. In fact, being a light in the darkness is something I learned from my Father, my Creator, my God. How cool is that? The things I mentioned above regarding myself are reflections of what others think and not what is reality for me. For those who have wondered, now you know!

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry

Trust, and the Truth Will Reveal Itself

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As I see it, there are two kinds of truth. There is truth with a capital “T” meaning higher or divine truth. Then there is truth as in the opposite of a lie. The statement in my title is about truth with a small “t” or the opposite of a lie. Lying, deception, setting up things as if they are truth, all seem to be a harsh part of human reality. But who are we kidding here? Nothing is ever gone unseen, especially by what or Who is unseen.

I believe it was Thomas in the Bible who was told by Jesus, “Blessed is he who has not seen and yet still believes.” Jesus was talking about mystical things or divine Truth. Yet, His statement is still as profound about the opposite of a lie. Sometimes we see things and think we know what is true. Sometimes we don’t see things, and yet, there is a gut hunch as to what is true or not. Gut hunches are interesting. Not many know or understand that we are spoken to through our gut, or stomach. In fact, the stomach has neurotransmitters just like our brains do.

I love gut instinct or intuition because it gives me a hunch to go and investigate more. Over the years I have come to trust that intuition and the investigation together. When a lie presents itself I am reminded of what Naomi spoke to Ruth in the Book of Ruth in the Bible. She said, “Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens.” What she meant was, if we wait on the truth it will reveal itself. There is a real reason for this. It’s because the truth is stronger than a lie. Jesus proved this to us when He was questioned concerning his actions and His identity before He went to the cross. Jesus said nothing. He kept silent. One reason, is the truth needs no defense. The other, is He knew the truth would reveal itself eventually.

You see, nothing, and I mean NOTHING, gets past God. Eventually we all know what is a lie and what is the truth. I like to think I have learned from the best of the best. When I question a situation of any kind I like to go silent. Or if my honest actions are questioned in any way, I also like to go silent.

This happened to me at one time in a work environment. I was brought before my higher management because my immediate manager was upset that I had to leave my desk and run to the restroom quite a bit. I also had to eat at my desk, which was piled with work every single day. You see, I was pregnant and in the earlier stages. My manager also had a knack for piling more work on me than I really should have. She was filing her nails and making personal phone calls on the job. She sat right behind me. I had already had a miscarriage from the stress she caused me, among other things. So, there I was, before the elite, just like Jesus was. I was being accused of doing things contrary to my job description. I guess being pregnant really was not so acceptable in the workplace back in those days. Laws have been created to protect pregnant women and their jobs.

I was always a good employee. I never complained and even worked at home when I had more than I could bear at work. I put in more hours than anyone I had knowledge of, and yet there I was, on “trial” for having to “pee” more often? Sounds crazy even now. Yet it was serious. I was at risk of losing my job over my pregnant state and new needs in order to function. I did defend myself. I told the truth about my manager right in front of her and the vice presidents of the place I worked, but it did no good. What did I do? I stopped talking and I went silent. I backed out of the office and out of their lives.

In about 3 months I received a phone call. The accusing manager was fired because they began to watch her and discovered all I had stated about her was the truth. I was not offered my job back, nor did I want it. What I did receive was higher than anything money could have bought. I learned the lesson Jesus and Naomi gave. “Trust, and the truth will reveal itself. ” 

As I write this, I am trusting. Aside from this message, I am being silent in a situation. Honestly, I do not understand people at the moment. Maybe it’s because I really don’t understand that so many don’t even realize just WHO is watching them. Maybe some have become hard in their hearts. Maybe some have just plain not cared about anyone but themselves. All could be possible. Still, I believe in the ability for humans to have compassion. Still, I believe in the truth, both the opposite of a lie and the higher Truth.

Situations can come and go, but honesty, integrity, love, and truth are forever. The lessons we learn from the moments we live are more valuable than anything anyone could ever say about us or accuse us of. Oh people will always lie. We lie to ourselves every day of our lives. It’s the purposeful deceit and lies that I have a hard time understanding.

There is another account concerning Jesus in the Bible that I have always loved. There will be a day when we shall see Him face to face, and in an instant we shall be like Him. In the face of the most influential being in all of history, nothing, and I mean, nothing, can ever be hidden. All is revealed. Just like that moment we stand in the face of the higher Truth. Whether we think so or not, ALL is revealed right at this moment. We were created with God inside of our DNA. He is inside of us. How could He not know the truth about us?

Silent from here,

Dr Rev Jenine Marie Howry, PhD