Do You Have a Good Relationship With Yourself?

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When we ponder relationships, we don’t often consider the relationship we have with ourselves. We do, in fact, have a self-relationship. We all get an image of our personal relationship with ourselves daily. Acknowledging our self-relationship can bring a lot of insight and healing when we choose to be honest with ourselves. Please don’t underestimate the importance of taking a little moral inventory to see where self-image can be improved, adjusted a little bit, or maybe a lot! Your “self” is calling and talking out loud! You, and only you, can make changes in yourself and make a difference in the quality of your life and your self-relationship.

Examples of ways we have a relationship with ourselves:

We see our personal relationship with ourselves through our temperament.

If you are a spouting geyser every time something rubs you the wrong way, your “self” is telling you it’s time to cool your heels. Remember, what you put out there in life is what will eventually come back, if not already. People view you, make assumptions and judgments about you according to your temperament. Even closer, your feelings about yourself are revealed through what you spew out. Don’t try to kid yourself here. You might try to fool others, but you can never kid yourself. You know who you are. The question is, “Why do you let the pressure valve out on everyone, and where does that anger come from?”

Maybe some emotional healing work is needed to cool down the emotional relationship you have with yourself. Believe me; eventually, your body will remind you to quit being such a hot head by breaking down in ways you don’t expect it to. Make it “be kind to your body time” and take steps to cool the hot embers in your heart.

Our personal relationship with ourselves is revealed through our self-image.

If you find you are continually comparing yourself to others, feel slighted by what others have, or wish you had attributes others have, then your self-image is screaming at you! It is easy to state how unique you are, how special God made you, or remind you of your gift to this world. The more challenging part is to learn how to believe how valuable you are, just the way you are.

If there are simple ways to improve upon your outer image, then do those things. Exercise, diet changes, and a little external enhancement can go a long way. For something you can not change, learn acceptance by loving yourself daily. We are all bombarded by images of others that are photoshopped, have attributes others admire, and tempt us toward self-loathing. Self-image is not only about the outside but the inside as well. Many of our programmed loathing comes from what we have been exposed to. The subconscious mind will hold these things for you! Gee, thank you very much, right? Try some self-image-enhancing hypnotherapy or meditation. There are many videos out there. If you find it hard to stick to routines, you might need a hypnotherapist. Invest in the money to get at least six sessions for a Hypno-change! Your self-relationship will thank you!

Our personal relationship with ourselves is revealed through the act of procrastination.

If there are things in life, you would like to do but never seem to get around to it. Or, if there are things that need to be taken care of but you never do, you are being held captive by the procrastination monster! When you procrastinate about doing something you know you should, you could either be suffering from a form of depression or your mind is too fixed on overthinking other things. You are lacking motivation and need a revving up of your self-motivator.

I know this might sound redundant but get organized! A scattered schedule lends toward too much time on your hands. Sooner or later, you end up putting off for another day what could have been done right now. Take the bull by the horns and get the more pressing things done first. Then go to the things you want to do to enhance your life. If you feel you need help for depression, see a counselor and help find the root of your distress. If you are overthinking, get your thoughts down on paper in a journal or talk to someone who can simply listen. Clear your mind, your heart, and your life from clutter. You will find more room to get those “need to do” or “want to do” things accomplished! If you are having trouble sticking to a routine or getting organized, once again, find a hypnotherapist! I can not say enough about the ability hypnosis has to help change unwanted habits to those desired!

I hope you see what I am getting at here. Your relationship with yourself will determine your ability to have one with others. Do some digging and excavating. If there are things you know that need changing then change them! It is never too late to have a great self-relationship and enhance your relationship with others around you! You might even find yourself attracting new friendships, new people, and new opportunities into your life. Don’t take yourself for granted. You guide your own ship. Do it with honesty and with self-revelation!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph. D.

Women’s Life Advancement Coach and Hypnotherapist

Do You Hold Back Your Truth Just to Keep Peace? Here is What You Need to Know

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Let me encourage you to be completely honest with yourself. First, I need to ask you this question. Do you avoid bringing up subjects you are concerned about in relationships to try to maintain peace? If your answer is yes, let’s stop and consider this question for a moment. Close your eyes and think about a time when you held back your emotions, comments, expressions, or your truth.

Now that you have a good example place one hand on your stomach and one on your heart. Keep that moment when you are held back in your mind as you breathe. What does holding back the issues you had on your mind cause you to feel inside? Can you feel the impact of the emotion or the disturbed feelings within yourself?

Holding back your ideas, comments, emotions, honesty, and truth can deeply harm your mind and body. Consider these questions. What are you afraid of, and what will happen if you express to someone what you honestly are thinking? Will your open expression cause a rift in your relationship or make someone angry at you? Do you imagine you will end up in tears or harming your own body as you absorb the impact of someone else’s responses?

As you answer the questions I have posed above, consider the control issues in your life. Are you are allowing inner torment to keep perceived peace? Energetically not speaking your truth will cause an imbalance in your throat, heart area, center, and even at the base of your spine. As an energy healer, I can tell you, holding back your true thoughts and emotions from someone whose response has conditioned you to do so will imbalance you in ways that can eventually cause damaging physical problems.

You were born with tenacity and courage. You have the power of an infinite spirit that resides within you. Everything that is encountered in your life can be handled efficiently and confidently when you connect with your Creator’s power inside of you. Nothing stops you! Knowing God is within you, and divine support also enfolds you on the outside can release you from tormenting issues you need to express but can’t find the courage in your human self.

Consider all of the things I have just presented to you and meditate for a few moments on what you can do to solve your holding patterns. Not everyone will be a safe harbor for you, but you can be that for yourself as you allow God to help you rise and be someone who walks in balance and truth!

Let’s rise!

“Infinite Spirit of God, release me into the hands of true courage. I am all I was created to be. I am the express image of my true Creator and comforter. Be my comforter and my compassion as I release my emotions, honesty, and truth, toward those who have offended me, held me back, oppressed me, or kept me from being my true self.”

Release yourself today and every day! YOU are a unique being who walks in high places with the One who will never let you down!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph. D.

Do an Honest Assessment of Yourself

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It’s not unusual for me to receive messages while in my sleep. I often wake up with them rolling around in my brain. I do not want to assume I know where they came from. I guess any answer can do. Information can be coming from God, angels, my higher self, or any other spiritual avenue. I am at the point of not even questioning how things happen with me or how I know or hear things. I just know it does, and that is good enough for me.

Honesty has been the theme of the morning as I drink my morning coffee. It is so important to take an honest assessment of one’s self. As I reflect on some incidents of the past that occurred in my life, my heart feels relieved. Honesty does two things:

  1. One is to give us a clear assessment of who we are as people. Honesty can reveal the deep inner issues we need to deal with and process through. Sometimes we need to forgive ourselves, and sometimes we need to confess our wrongdoing. God has control over that, and it’s between the individual and God.
  2. Honesty can also reveal the things that happened and were not our fault. When this happens, it is a great relief. Take the time to forgive others but also take the time to breathe in truth and comfort. When honesty reveals other people’s wrongdoing we have taken upon ourselves, it is time to let it all go. We are never responsible for other people’s actions, no matter how close they might be to us. Sometimes we are punished for what others have done because they are close to us. If the influence is in the family, then we have no choice. Our families are ours for a lifetime to learn, grow, and understand how to forgive.

When honestly brings us to the things we were punished for that others have done, it is time to forgive ourselves for holding onto the shame or guilt of it all. Society has a way of determining fault and pointing fingers when fingers should be pointed back at them. Usually, when finger-pointing happens, it is because they are the ones who need to process honesty.

When it comes to judging other people, think of these things first; Moses murdered, Noah got naked and drunk, prophets ran from their calling, women were treated as possessions and abandoned by powerful men whom “God had called.” We are not perfect beings. The point is God loves us anyway, and we are still a part of God. The heart is what matters. Each person reflected in biblical writings did wrong things. Well, I guess not Jesus. Aside from Him, we are all in the same rocky boat.

We might as well be honest with ourselves. Take a deep inventory of who you are, what you have done, and do it in the presence of God. Meditate on it and forgive yourself. You can not be forgiven for things you will never admit. No one is there except you and God or whatever angels are allowed to be there for you. Alright, you might have some crossed over loved ones present. I like to think the family is always with us. So, be honest with yourself today. It’s called taking moral inventory. Forgive yourself and ask for forgiveness of things you have done. Then be relieved and start each day again clear from all of those things you lie to yourself about because you don’t want to admit them to anyone. We all have those things. So it is alright.

Take the moral dumper and after you do, as I said, forgive yourself, ask God to forgive you, and move onward clear and clean. Being honest with ourselves is the way we are washed. Close your eyes and allow forgiveness, mercy, and grace to flow over you like a river. Take time for tears because they cleanse the soul. Your life will be freer because of it. Don’t wait on this. You are too important to let it go. In all honesty, you are worth it!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

https://jeninemarie.com

In All Honesty: Is It Time to Grow Up?

IMG_20170904_140736_219There are several attributes a person could be proud to have as a quality. One of the greatest things, of course, is love. I know I have often written about integrity as well. A very important attribute to have is to be honest. One huge reason is that lying is detested by God. Since God lives inside of us, we actually detest ourselves when we lie. Its a scourge to one’s own soul and looks pretty ugly inside and out. Since God can not lie it is obviously something that comes out of ego and often pride.

Being honest does not mean to spill out every detail of our lives like lava spewing from a volcano. It means to walk in enough integrity to be honest to those we love concerning things that are deeply important. For instance, withholding something from someone because we know it will hurt them is not integrity. If we know it will hurt them, then its something that should not be done. Right?

Yet, being honest when we have done something that has hurt someone is admirable. I know it can be very hard to do, but even in the light that it might be hurtful, it gives opportunity to clear the air and allow forgiveness to take place. I want to emphasize being honest about a hurtful deed does not excuse you from it. The other party could very easily be harmed and will need time to process what has been heard or done.

Obviously, along with not doing hurtful things, to not lie in the first place is the better choice. I remember when I was little lying to my mom. Oh boy, did I ever wish I never did that! She had some sort of “Mama” sense of knowing when things are not above board. Disappointing “Mama” was not a fun feeling. It’s not so fun disappointing our Creator either, and even more so. Just like when I lied to Mama, lying to someone eats a hole in the soul. No lie goes unaccounted for. The eyes of God see everything from the inside out.

Honesty is definitely a virtue. Repentant honesty is even more virtuous. God loves a humble heart and it does the soul good to be remorseful and repentant for mistakes we have made in life, especially those that cost others in the form of heartache and heartbreak.

Do you have something to get off your chest? Believe me, you know it when you do, because the insides of you will eat at you until you do. Blocking things out and stuffing them down will not help you in the long run. Your lack of honesty will eventually weigh heavy upon your chest until it either begins to harm you or you have to become honest about it.

Sometimes God will expose a lie. I do know some who could never lie and not get caught! What can I say? Its like some are just on a short leash when it comes to those things. Bottom line, maturity speaks the truth. Maturity speaks our own truth when our heart needs to speak up. Facing life is a part of growing up and it makes no difference what our actual age is. We all grow at different paces.

Let me put this out there for you:

“Today I will try a cup of honesty and will repent of a lie I have been hiding. Forgive me Father for hurting your heart, hurting others, and for hurting myself. Give me the strength to be honest about how I feel, what I have done, or the lie I have kept inside. Please heal those I have harmed and release us from a lie that has had us bound, Amen”

Loving you from here,

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry, LLC.

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries LLC 

 

 

 

Honestly

unnamed23This is a very hard subject for me, because I have always felt like it was my job to help others feel better, find better solutions, and be more comfortable in life. To some degree that is true or I would not have studied human behavior, God’s word, other means of relaxation, stress reduction, and much more. I have a huge sigh here, because it is all so overwhelming when I think of all the hours I have spent on research and discovery regardless to what the source is. It was never ever time wasted. It has it’s purpose.

This is a very important subject, so please, if you will, “listen” very carefully to the heart and spirit in which it is written. I have personally spent a good majority of my life being the one who tries to make things better for others. I am the one who has been concerned when someone goes to jail, has stayed up all night praying for miracles for others, hidden in my room while others fight and duke it out, fought for the right to be understood in the midst of relationship confusion, surrendered to what brings others happiness, worried when those I loved did not come home at night, adhered to others’ doctrinal statements, and the list goes on and on. I’m hardly a martyr, so please don’t go there. The full truth of the whole deal is that I truly have loved them. I have loved those who gave birth to me, were raised around me, those I have married, those I have raised, those whom I worshiped with, prayed with, gone to school with, and befriended.  The journey has been worth it, no doubt.

Here is the point of the whole message. The only one I did not love enough was myself. You see, I always thought when I married Jesus and was ordained, that the point was I should give my life away. It has been a struggle ever since. This is an error though. A system of belief told me I have to give my life away. Jesus NEVER told me to sacrifice my own happiness, joy, well being, or self love, for others. His power, His message, and His love, is enough for all of us. My job is to point those around me to Him. It is their job to accept it or not. I can offer the decision for life changes, but I can’t ever make anyone take the decision or make the choices. As much as we love people and want them to be happy and whole, we do not have the power to create that for them. They have to do that with God themselves. It was not until everything inside of me was screaming to find out who I am again, that I really began the process of loving myself more, even though this was what I taught others. Interestingly enough, this change happened very recently after 30 years of being a minister.

I guess my point of this whole message is this: empowerment comes when we love ourselves enough to accept the strength God gives to us and grow into the whole person Jesus has loved enough to die for. He died when we were yet sinners. He died when we where flawed and broken. He died knowing we would make all of the mistakes we have made, and yet, He has loved us anyway. If we want to be more like Him, we need to love ourselves anyway. This means loving ourselves enough to find out what that means, and do whatever it takes to reach for our own personal destinies. Are we there for others when they need us? Of course we are! It is great to give our lives over to the things that have great meaning in life and serve our fellow man and woman! I have to ask this question though, “Is it better to give of ourselves when we are depleted, or is it better to give of ourselves when we are as whole as we can be”. Being whole is the only way we can give an image of wholeness to anyone.

Today I am gifting you with the message to “come after it from a place of wholeness”. Love yourself enough, the way God loves you, to heal from the inside out. Know you will never ever be perfect, and no one on this earth will ever completely agree with you 100% on things in your life. Be the very best you that you can ever be. It is the greatest gift you can give yourself, to those who love you, and to humanity.

If you need or want help. I will do what I can to help you and give God the rest. Here is the deal though: you have to honestly want the message and the change. I can’t do for you what you need to do for yourself. You have to find the love that God put within you to bring you enough strength to do whatever it takes. Sometimes it feels like we go almost to the “pit of hell” on this earth for what we really want but the bliss of heaven awaits those who endure to the end! That is God’s promise!

Sincerely Yours,

Rev Jenine Marie (Still married to Jesus!)