True Love and Sexual Intimacy

man and woman kiss each other
Photo by Vera Arsic on Pexels.com

Love should be simple, and it really is, but we make it very complicated. Love has its own attributes and when we know them we know love. God describes love as something based on character and not a feeling. Love is patient, kind, long suffering, etc. We think, or believe, its supposed to be a feeling. The emotional high we get when we meet someone is attraction. We are supposed to have that too. If not, no one would ever connect with anyone and “couple”.

The sexual part of loving someone can be an emotional high, but it should be much more profound and deeper than that. It is a physical connection that has spiritual, emotional, and mindful components to the intimate action. The type of depth we can experience during sexual intimacy can not be obtained early on before establishing a deeper understanding of love and devotion. Basically what I am saying is, without getting to know the character of love then the sexual encounter is only physical. There is no devotion in the mere physical part of having sex. There is no intimacy in just going through the sexual motions. All of the things required for the characteristics of love happen aside from having sex. They are deeper, have depth of understanding, and come to agreement even if it is to agree to disagree.

Compassion, as a part of love is necessary to give sexual intimacy meaning. Without compassion there is no true passion, only lust. Do you see where I am going with this now? Can you see why God wants the physical sexual connection to be within the bonds of marriage and devotion? It takes time to even come to understand how the characteristics of love happen between two people. This also takes commitment. Within that commitment there is a discovery of the passion that comes from true compassion and depth of insight into one another.

So often couples come together after they have had a sexual encounter. This is only lust or to fulfill what is perceived to be a feeling of some form of love. Although it might seem loving there is no devotion connected to it, therefore it is merely an encounter and physical exchange. Basically said, sex without love is not real intimacy but only  a lustful encounter. This is so mistaken in society today. For some reason many have been led to believe that once a couple has a sexual encounter they are then sealed as a couple. Not so. Physical sex does not bring devotional love. Real love brings devotion within the physical encounter. We get it backwards. No wonder there are so many divorces!

Love and devotion say, ” I will be there for you when you are at your lowest, when life has sent a curve ball, when finances don’t seem to add up, when we don’t see eye to eye, and when the darkness seems bigger than the light.” Real love and devotion bring growth, and can feel frustrating at times, as two people struggle to become one within their partnered bond. This struggle is the dance we call true romance. It does not feel great at the time, but our frustration is the character of love trying to come to understanding. Two people are never the same. We are all unique. True attraction comes from getting to know a person from the inside out, not the other way around. This can be an easier process or it can be extremely hard. The choice is ours.

Do you confuse sex with love? Maybe take some time to meditate on the qualities and character of love as God has designed it to be. Then compare those qualities to what you present to another and what that other person presents to you. Can you come to an agreement with one another and go deeper into the commitment of love and devotion? If not, then the physical part is a waste of time. We often call having sex, “making love”, but the true making of love is to receive loves character and give out of that wisdom and understanding every single day, especially when it is hardest to do.

Love goes the long haul. Physical sex will not deepen it but love can deepen the physical connection. Meditate on this. Go into the Bible’s explanation of true love and compare it to what you feel you understand about it. Put it into the context of your own character. Is your love patient, kind, long suffering? Does it refuse to keep record of wrongs, but forgives as God forgives? Is your understanding of love one that is present for another because of true devotion and not duty? Deep questions. Real love will always be devotional, commitment oriented, and have a depth of kindness even when we have become angry, upset, and have discord. Real love is like a rubber band that will always spring a couple back into harmony after a hard bought if misunderstanding.

This is an opportunity to check your depth if insight and understanding of yourself and how you love your partner and also yourself. Are you patient with yourself? Do you give yourself compassion and forgiveness as well? Do you wallow in the wrong things you have done or do you keep no record of wrongs? I know I have given you a lot to think about. Maybe some meditative journal time is in order here!

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry

How to Attract the Right Romantic Partner

affection afterglow backlit blur
Photo by luizclas on Pexels.com

Every person on this earth desires to “couple.” It’s a part of who and what we are. We are designed to be in relationships of all kinds, but the deeper and more profound relationships are the romantic love relationships we typically seek. Romantic connections are the relationships that teach us the most in life, not only about ourselves but life itself. One of the greatest struggles we all seem to have is attracting the right person into our lives. For some reason, we all tend to focus on people’s outer aspects and not as much on the inside and energetic aspects of attracting the right mate.

As much as we love to experience that emotional high that comes from being with a very attractive person, this can often lead to a mistake in judgment. Don’t get me wrong, physical attraction is important. Yet, suppose we don’t understand how we attract people toward us. In that case, the outer exterior will not make much of a difference when we find we have yet another relationship mistake.

One thing to understand is we are like energy magnets. Surrounding our outer bodies, we have an energetic body that reflects what is contained in our inner bodies’ energy centers. That external body of energy, although unseen, reaches far beyond our physical appearance into the energy field. Universal Law tells us that like attracts like. So, what we put out there, along with our intention to attract a mate, is a whole lot of who we are as a person.

We also attract life lessons. We will attract those who receive messages from our most difficult inner struggles, past traumas, and soul wounds. When we do this, we invite ourselves into a relationship that will test us to the core of who we are. The idea is to heal and rise above the issues that surface while interacting with the one who seems to rub us the wrong way, no matter what we do. Believe me; the quantum electromagnetic field is always choosing for you even when you are not aware of it.

So, how do you attract a relationship that has less of a struggle and has a more enjoyable, romantic, and love-filled time? The bigger question I always seem to hear is, “How do I attract or find ‘the one’?” The answer is simple but not necessarily easy. To attract the right one, you need to be “the one.” Since like attracts like, be the kind of person you want to attract into your life. If you want someone loving, caring, thoughtful, and romantic, then be that type of person. If you want someone who is less anchored in past trauma, soul scars, and issues, then be less anchored in those things. In other words, heal yourself first and focus on being a magnet for exactly what you desire by being what will attract those attributes in a mate. Here are some ways to do that:

Work with someone who is skilled in helping you identify your soul scars by talk sessions and energy work. There is no greater gift you can give to yourself than to heal from the past and release yourself into the present moment. The past need not echo into your future. You can clear these things, deal with them, and stop sending those messages out into the energy fields of others. Choose an energy master who has coaching and counseling skills.

Learn how to balance the energy centers (Chakras) of your body from someone who is trained and educated to help you do this. Balancing can be accomplished both in-person and on the phone with the right professional. You can determine what you put out there in the energy field. Living a life in balance and “in the now” moment will attract those who also live a life in balance.

Learn to live in the now moment. Yesterday is gone. Do the release work and move to what is happening in the present. I like to say, “Present yourself to the present.” The right relationship, and one you should desire, is one that enjoys every moment of the present. No delving deep into yesterday’s wounds trying to figure out how to not step on each other’s emotional toes.

Bring a meditation practice into your life if you don’t already have one. Let meditative practice continue to reveal who you are and where you need to work on yourself.¬†Meditation can be a vital life force and can strengthen what you genuinely desire both in yourself and a mate. Learn to breathe, center, and focus on the right intentions. Tuning your intentions will draw the most desired¬†attributes in a mate that you can draw. Work on yourself daily. Don’t forget; you get who you are, not who you are merely hoping to receive. So be that person and then attract one who is ready to have a love-filled, mature, and beautiful relationship!

Find someone to help you do this work and keep you accountable to it. You will thank yourself later, and your new mate will thank you too! Let me start you off with this. Make a list of all the attributes you desire in a romantic partner. What things on the list do you also reflect yourself? If you don’t, then there are some blockages there. Most likely, you need to deal with inner wounds and energetic release. Work with someone on releasing that emotion and energy. Then go out and attract!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph.D.

JenineMarie.com

LifeLessonsbyJenineMarie.com