What to do When The One You Have Loved No Longer Loves You

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It is an issue that has plagued relationships since the beginning of time. One day someone wakes up and realizes their love given has or is no longer going to be returned. All of the time and moments that have been put into trying to bond with someone have now seemingly been wasted. First, I want to say; nothing is ever wasted. Time well spent is a lesson well learned. (I think that should be a quote somewhere)!

I don’t want it to appear I’m stating the process of grieving an ended love is an easy thing; it is not. The painful process of severing ties with someone you thought you knew is nothing to take lightly. Breakups are just plain painful.

Eventually, we have to pick up the pieces and move on with life. Expect this to be a process. Grief is a process. Recreating life is a process. So, what do we do when the one we loved no longer loves us in return? Let me give you some starting points.

  1. Face the truth head-on. Realize that your life has now changed; you have changed. What was once time spent with someone else will now evolve into time spent on just yourself.
  2. Take life as it comes; this sometimes means one day at a time and sometimes one breath at a time. Don’t expect things to fall into place in one second. It took time to create a relationship, and it will take time to complete your severing of one.
  3. Permit yourself to grieve. Cry, pray, and meditate on what your heart is feeling. Ask yourself what you need right now. The answer to all of your questions will be revealed, and you will be surprised at how much you know what to do.
  4. Celebrate yourself and the life you hold. I am not advocating that hurting in your heart is a time for celebration, but there is a time to celebrate the brilliant creation and creator you are. Remember, you are a gift of life, a unique creation in God’s universe.
  5. Make your moments count instead of counting your moments. I genuinely believe it is not the time we spend in life but the quality of time that makes a difference. Create cherished moments that become your own memories.
  6. Realize your own worth and gift to this world. Everyone has a unique presence and present we give to this world and our planet. Find yours in the light of where you are at this very now moment.
  7. Honor when your heart needs to rest and rest it well. There is so much to look forward to in life, but there is a time of rest necessary to recover from heartache.
  8. Know you are not broken but transitioning. You might feel hurt at the time, but your life will come back together in different ways. See your transition for what it is. This moment in time is a moment to form yourself again. You will be a butterfly again soon.
  9. Talk to those who love and care about you. Be honest about how you are feeling. Make sure whomever you talk to is wise enough and stable enough to hear your heart pain. This might be in the form of a counselor or therapist, but remember you were created for a relationship. We all need love from those whom you can call a true friend. Find those who are friends and not those who want just to hear your pain. A good listener embodies compassion for others, especially you.
  10. Love yourself. Learn to heal, to laugh, to cry, and be human. Give gifts to yourself in ways you never did before. The gift of a spiritual awakening is an excellent place to begin. You owe it to yourself and your life to allow the process of grief to complete itself. This means honoring your love as much as your hurt and anger. A life in balance is a life well spent.

I am sure there are so many things I have missed, especially some of the details that come from walking through the severing of ties, grieving, and regaining a new life. A good life coach or counselor can help you reprioritize your life to fit the season you now find yourself in!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph. D.

JenineMarie.com

LifeLessonsbyJenineMarie.com

After the Storm: Healing from the Effects of Grief and Loss

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We have all been recently affected by a global pandemic that just about brought our world to a standstill. My heart goes out to all of those who have suffered losses during the spread of COVID-19. I know the grief and the feeling of loss. It is not easy. The news media only barely touch upon that part of what is happening because of this virus. Every single time I see the death toll go up; I think of my own challenges with grieving the loss of loved ones along my journey. Recovering is not an overnight thing. It takes time and understanding.

Our world has gone mostly virtual suddenly and seemingly overnight. Thank goodness we have the internet! What used to merely be social media is now a necessity in order to function in this world. With all of this said, I cling to hope. Hope is an extraordinarily strong motivator. My advice is to walk daily and take one step at a time but always have hope for a better day to come. They WILL come!

Biblically speaking, “hope deferred makes the heart sick.” This means without hope we become sick. The last thing we need is to become more ill. Heart sickness will kill the soul even faster than a virus will kill the body. Therefore, it is so important to keep our hearts light and shine as much light as we can for others as well. We are ONE world and together we will overcome what has been presented to us.

If not anything else, the pandemic has brought us all together in ways we never have experienced before. It has made heroes out of medical personnel and healers out of those who normally would not have ever stepped up to the plate. I believe virtually we can all be healers as well. It is why this platform is so important right now. We NEED to talk about it all. We need to vent, we need to cry, and we need to heal ourselves back into hope.

I might not know you, but I love you. Its God-given to love those we do not know. God loves this world and God will help us heal and heal the world we live in. Don’t we appreciate it so much more now? I know it is hard when we have lost loved ones. It is a tough road to walk. Will you let me be a part of your healing journey? I would be honored to walk with you through it all.

You can find me on Virtual Therapist Network at this link:

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

I’m Here During Difficult Times…

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It’s almost like we were stalked and pounced upon. Suddenly the coronavirus came on the scene and thousands of people started to become ill. (Are you tired of hearing the word coronavirus yet?) I heard today this week things are expected to worsen before they get better. I know it is not something any of us really want to hear. I try to keep my sense of balance and sense of humor. I’m sure you are all doing the same!

As things become challenging I want to remind you all that I am here! The amazing thing is I can already talk to you via phone and offer my services like I always have, but this time I am taking $20 off my usual hourly fee for spiritual directional counseling. This also includes practical guidance too! I have found we can’t divide one part of us from the other. We are always body, mind, spirit.

For the next 4 weeks from today my services will be discounted as a way to do my part in the efforts to give comfort, guidance, and relief from stress during these very unusual times. (Being out of work is a stress in and of itself!) I can address most things in life, so please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me and pass me along ! Blessings for your good health and well being!

As always I am loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

832-484-8306

How to Attract the Right Romantic Partner

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Every person on this earth desires to “couple.” It’s a part of who and what we are. We are designed to be in relationships of all kinds, but the deeper and more profound relationships are the romantic love relationships we typically seek. Romantic connections are the relationships that teach us the most in life, not only about ourselves but life itself. One of the greatest struggles we all seem to have is attracting the right person into our lives. For some reason, we all tend to focus on people’s outer aspects and not as much on the inside and energetic aspects of attracting the right mate.

As much as we love to experience that emotional high that comes from being with a very attractive person, this can often lead to a mistake in judgment. Don’t get me wrong, physical attraction is important. Yet, suppose we don’t understand how we attract people toward us. In that case, the outer exterior will not make much of a difference when we find we have yet another relationship mistake.

One thing to understand is we are like energy magnets. Surrounding our outer bodies, we have an energetic body that reflects what is contained in our inner bodies’ energy centers. That external body of energy, although unseen, reaches far beyond our physical appearance into the energy field. Universal Law tells us that like attracts like. So, what we put out there, along with our intention to attract a mate, is a whole lot of who we are as a person.

We also attract life lessons. We will attract those who receive messages from our most difficult inner struggles, past traumas, and soul wounds. When we do this, we invite ourselves into a relationship that will test us to the core of who we are. The idea is to heal and rise above the issues that surface while interacting with the one who seems to rub us the wrong way, no matter what we do. Believe me; the quantum electromagnetic field is always choosing for you even when you are not aware of it.

So, how do you attract a relationship that has less of a struggle and has a more enjoyable, romantic, and love-filled time? The bigger question I always seem to hear is, “How do I attract or find ‘the one’?” The answer is simple but not necessarily easy. To attract the right one, you need to be “the one.” Since like attracts like, be the kind of person you want to attract into your life. If you want someone loving, caring, thoughtful, and romantic, then be that type of person. If you want someone who is less anchored in past trauma, soul scars, and issues, then be less anchored in those things. In other words, heal yourself first and focus on being a magnet for exactly what you desire by being what will attract those attributes in a mate. Here are some ways to do that:

Work with someone who is skilled in helping you identify your soul scars by talk sessions and energy work. There is no greater gift you can give to yourself than to heal from the past and release yourself into the present moment. The past need not echo into your future. You can clear these things, deal with them, and stop sending those messages out into the energy fields of others. Choose an energy master who has coaching and counseling skills.

Learn how to balance the energy centers (Chakras) of your body from someone who is trained and educated to help you do this. Balancing can be accomplished both in-person and on the phone with the right professional. You can determine what you put out there in the energy field. Living a life in balance and “in the now” moment will attract those who also live a life in balance.

Learn to live in the now moment. Yesterday is gone. Do the release work and move to what is happening in the present. I like to say, “Present yourself to the present.” The right relationship, and one you should desire, is one that enjoys every moment of the present. No delving deep into yesterday’s wounds trying to figure out how to not step on each other’s emotional toes.

Bring a meditation practice into your life if you don’t already have one. Let meditative practice continue to reveal who you are and where you need to work on yourself. Meditation can be a vital life force and can strengthen what you genuinely desire both in yourself and a mate. Learn to breathe, center, and focus on the right intentions. Tuning your intentions will draw the most desired attributes in a mate that you can draw. Work on yourself daily. Don’t forget; you get who you are, not who you are merely hoping to receive. So be that person and then attract one who is ready to have a love-filled, mature, and beautiful relationship!

Find someone to help you do this work and keep you accountable to it. You will thank yourself later, and your new mate will thank you too! Let me start you off with this. Make a list of all the attributes you desire in a romantic partner. What things on the list do you also reflect yourself? If you don’t, then there are some blockages there. Most likely, you need to deal with inner wounds and energetic release. Work with someone on releasing that emotion and energy. Then go out and attract!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph.D.

JenineMarie.com

LifeLessonsbyJenineMarie.com

The Gift of Marriage: Forsaking All Others and Mutual Respect

couple cuddle-saidaonlineUp on the top of the most precious times in my life have always been the moments I joined couples in marriage. Every now and then I look back upon quite a few of those of the past and smile. I love the look on the grooms face, and the glow of the bride. Then there is the coming together of wedding plans which began very hectic and always ended up so beautiful!

Deeper than the ceremonial moment are the words spoken within the wedding vows themselves. Since I write my own for my couples, I like them to be honest, true, romantic, and touching. More than that, I take the vows I have them speak very seriously. I always consider myself a part of their moment as a witness of the promises they make to each other before God and their loved ones.

Beyond the wedding comes the marriage part of life. This is where the vows are acted out and enforced within the marriage bond before God. It’s hard at times. Marriage is not always a bed of roses. Sometimes it is angry nights, frustrating conversations, and handling difficult storms. I truly believe that those who keep their marriage vows sacred will always transcend the problems and issues that arise, with their hearts in tact. Those tho break them can expect turmoil and hardship. This is the reality of marriage and relationship.

If you want a great marriage, keep these things for your consideration:

Forsake all others and place no one else before your spouse (This means EVERYONE, even friends and family members are not before your wife or husband.) 

Spend time together and establish trust because trust is earned not just given. 

Spend time with mutual friends and family members and not divided by other people or other activities. 

Have honest conversation and communication with the other person in mind and not just yourself. 

Create a battle plan for when times are hard and set your intent to lock arms in the face of adversity. 

Keep relationships of the past in the past. They are exes for a reason. 

When your spouse is deeply hurting due to something you have done, or chosen, consider your actions and how you can change them to make things better. 

Speak highly of your spouse in public even when things are strained between you. 

Consider that marriage is a cycle of giving to the other. Taking for yourself is going to drive a wedge between you that will create hardship in the long run. No one wants to  watch their spouse’s back as they leave. Don’t break the heart of the one who has been by your side. 

These are just some of the things that come to my mind as I reflect upon marriage and the vows that couples take with one another. Marriage is a GIFT from God. To take it lightly is to not respect God’s gift. Don’t tempt your spouse to leave you because of an argument. If you really meant FOREVER and ALWAYS the day you got married then remember those words during every day of marriage. If you break the heart of the one who loves you the most you might regret it for a long time. Let love guide you. Not the love that comes from humans, but the love that God has ordained for marriage.

If you are getting married or if you need a marriage touch up, please give me a call and set a time to talk about some of the hard areas. Having someone who holds confidentiality concerning your marriage issues is important. Don’t trust just anyone but let God help you discern if certain people are trust- able when sharing marriage issues. Even higher, seek God and trust His words over all others for your marriage. He created it and He knows how to maintain it.

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry

832-484-8306