What to do When The One You Have Loved No Longer Loves You

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It is an issue that has plagued relationships since the beginning of time. One day someone wakes up and realizes their love given has or is no longer going to be returned. All of the time and moments that have been put into trying to bond with someone have now seemingly been wasted. First, I want to say; nothing is ever wasted. Time well spent is a lesson well learned. (I think that should be a quote somewhere)!

I don’t want it to appear I’m stating the process of grieving an ended love is an easy thing; it is not. The painful process of severing ties with someone you thought you knew is nothing to take lightly. Breakups are just plain painful.

Eventually, we have to pick up the pieces and move on with life. Expect this to be a process. Grief is a process. Recreating life is a process. So, what do we do when the one we loved no longer loves us in return? Let me give you some starting points.

  1. Face the truth head-on. Realize that your life has now changed; you have changed. What was once time spent with someone else will now evolve into time spent on just yourself.
  2. Take life as it comes; this sometimes means one day at a time and sometimes one breath at a time. Don’t expect things to fall into place in one second. It took time to create a relationship, and it will take time to complete your severing of one.
  3. Permit yourself to grieve. Cry, pray, and meditate on what your heart is feeling. Ask yourself what you need right now. The answer to all of your questions will be revealed, and you will be surprised at how much you know what to do.
  4. Celebrate yourself and the life you hold. I am not advocating that hurting in your heart is a time for celebration, but there is a time to celebrate the brilliant creation and creator you are. Remember, you are a gift of life, a unique creation in God’s universe.
  5. Make your moments count instead of counting your moments. I genuinely believe it is not the time we spend in life but the quality of time that makes a difference. Create cherished moments that become your own memories.
  6. Realize your own worth and gift to this world. Everyone has a unique presence and present we give to this world and our planet. Find yours in the light of where you are at this very now moment.
  7. Honor when your heart needs to rest and rest it well. There is so much to look forward to in life, but there is a time of rest necessary to recover from heartache.
  8. Know you are not broken but transitioning. You might feel hurt at the time, but your life will come back together in different ways. See your transition for what it is. This moment in time is a moment to form yourself again. You will be a butterfly again soon.
  9. Talk to those who love and care about you. Be honest about how you are feeling. Make sure whomever you talk to is wise enough and stable enough to hear your heart pain. This might be in the form of a counselor or therapist, but remember you were created for a relationship. We all need love from those whom you can call a true friend. Find those who are friends and not those who want just to hear your pain. A good listener embodies compassion for others, especially you.
  10. Love yourself. Learn to heal, to laugh, to cry, and be human. Give gifts to yourself in ways you never did before. The gift of a spiritual awakening is an excellent place to begin. You owe it to yourself and your life to allow the process of grief to complete itself. This means honoring your love as much as your hurt and anger. A life in balance is a life well spent.

I am sure there are so many things I have missed, especially some of the details that come from walking through the severing of ties, grieving, and regaining a new life. A good life coach or counselor can help you reprioritize your life to fit the season you now find yourself in!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph. D.

JenineMarie.com

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After the Storm: Healing from the Effects of Grief and Loss

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We have all been recently affected by a global pandemic that just about brought our world to a standstill. My heart goes out to all of those who have suffered losses during the spread of COVID-19. I know the grief and the feeling of loss. It is not easy. The news media only barely touch upon that part of what is happening because of this virus. Every single time I see the death toll go up; I think of my own challenges with grieving the loss of loved ones along my journey. Recovering is not an overnight thing. It takes time and understanding.

Our world has gone mostly virtual suddenly and seemingly overnight. Thank goodness we have the internet! What used to merely be social media is now a necessity in order to function in this world. With all of this said, I cling to hope. Hope is an extraordinarily strong motivator. My advice is to walk daily and take one step at a time but always have hope for a better day to come. They WILL come!

Biblically speaking, “hope deferred makes the heart sick.” This means without hope we become sick. The last thing we need is to become more ill. Heart sickness will kill the soul even faster than a virus will kill the body. Therefore, it is so important to keep our hearts light and shine as much light as we can for others as well. We are ONE world and together we will overcome what has been presented to us.

If not anything else, the pandemic has brought us all together in ways we never have experienced before. It has made heroes out of medical personnel and healers out of those who normally would not have ever stepped up to the plate. I believe virtually we can all be healers as well. It is why this platform is so important right now. We NEED to talk about it all. We need to vent, we need to cry, and we need to heal ourselves back into hope.

I might not know you, but I love you. Its God-given to love those we do not know. God loves this world and God will help us heal and heal the world we live in. Don’t we appreciate it so much more now? I know it is hard when we have lost loved ones. It is a tough road to walk. Will you let me be a part of your healing journey? I would be honored to walk with you through it all.

You can find me on Virtual Therapist Network at this link:

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

Truth About Energy Healing, Light, and the Body, Mind, Emotion Connection (Part 1 of a Series)

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Quite a few years ago I became interested in energy medicine after the loss of my son. I still can’t believe that it has been 20 years now! Understanding how I was going to get through the rest of my life was a challenge. Grief is such a hard thing to handle when it is as intense as losing a child. The effects of prolonged grief on the body and emotions can be devastating. I wondered if I was ever going to make it through it all. Obviously I did!

I prayed a lot during that time, talked to God, and did a whole lot of crying. The depth of crying of a mother who has lost a child is unlike any other. It’s like it comes from a deeper place than we ever expected existed. Believe me, it’s there. I found that depth during that time and I found God presence too. I also discovered energy healing. I began with an interest in Reiki which means “God’s Wisdom” and “life force energy.” It is a Japanese word and technique of energy healing based on energy or life force inside and outside of the body. Reiki is not a religion or spiritual technique. It is a therapeutic  exchange and balance of energy that brings harmony and healing to the receiver. Using Reiki methods energy can be moved within the body in order to bring emotional and also assist physical healing. It can be used with or without one’s faith, not much different than modern medicine but without some of the adverse effects of medications.

The process of receiving Reiki was so soothing and harmonizing I immediately wanted to become a Reiki Master and then a Chios and Shambala Master. They all work basically the same, with the movement and balancing of energy outside and inside of the body. Ancient Chinese medicine had integrated energy work and recognized the energy flows of the body centuries ago. Now modern medicine embraces the existence of energy centers within the body and how they affect the organs, emotions, and bodily processes. Much information can be read about this subject in a book called The Scientific Basis of Integrative Medicine. 

Over the years I have found in my own practice that energy work and energy healing can help bring forth stored emotional scars and help to heal them. Through allowing a person’s energy to guide the energy/emotional therapist to “see” imbalances, the client and therapist can  work together to clear them. This also goes along with emotional healing work, some types of talk therapy, and releasing stored emotions that can damage the body physically. I have read that it has been found scientifically that energy centers within our bodies do exist and they contribute to either the health or disease of the vital organs of the body and bodily processes.  I have personally found through work with my own clients that the discovery of emotional issues and the release of them through experienced energy work is very helpful in any healing process. Of course, like anything, it is a process. This means one can’t expect to see complete results in one session but several. Sometimes one session can bring out so much of an unconscious emotional issue it can take a while to process it while going through energy balancing.

Over time and practice I created my own process I call, Emotional Transformation Energy Balancing. The process is a combination of energy work, intuitive insight, talk therapy/coaching, breath work, and release. Again, this is a process which takes patience with one’s self and one’s feelings/emotions. All energy healing is self healing. All talk therapy and coaching is self therapy. It is only facilitated by someone who guides, acts as a sounding board, and interjects wisdom as it is received.

Believe me, this is just as much of a God thing as it is an emotional and physical one. All life is created by God and His presence dwells within us. We are made in God’s image. God created us unique, energetic and full of life force. Why would we not use this knowledge to help heal when God has gifted it to us? We use modern medicine and often trust the knowledge obtained through it. Why not trust the knowledge given to us through God about the life giving energy force that exists not only outside of us but within us as well. Again, energy work is not about religion, faith, and it is not contradictory to these things either. Energy and life force just “is” because God created it to be so, just like gravity.

To do this type of work on one’s self or for others it takes compassion, empathy, wisdom, and patience. It is an integrative process that can also be used for relaxation, meditation, along side medical treatments for those such as cancer or other diseases. Energy and breath work can also be used during childbirth, and in fact has been used for a long time without the label of “energy work”. For the sake of one’s faith, prayer applications and affirmations can be added. It all depends on the individual. There are no two alike and no two processes are the same. Like anything it works if we work it. One can’t be lazy and think something is going to be effective. Dedication to transformation and healing is just as important as dedication to a better diet or exercise. We are body, mind, and spirit. We are also energy and light charged beings. The moment one recognizes this is the moment true healing can begin. It is amazing what a release from a past trauma can do for one’s life and future. Mindfully learning to live in the now moment is a part of the process and recognizing, accepting, and allowing emotions and feelings to present themselves and heal is crucial.

There is nothing evil, voo do like, or spiritually unacceptable about the process. God gives us knowledge to use it. So, why don’t we? The only way to know is to experience it for one’s self. The whole process can be done in person, on the phone, or internet. Just like with modern medicine, faith and beliefs can be added. It’s all relevant and it’s all needed to step into a more balanced life. Learning to live with ease is a process of counteracting disease.

If you want a starting place, learn to breathe, accept, allow, and be mindful of emotions that present themselves. Looking at life as the observer is a much easier way of living than being so tied up in knots that eventually physical ailments appear. Release damaging emotions before this happens! Your body will thank you!

Loving you from here,

Dr Rev Jenine Marie Howry

Emotional Transformation Energy Balancing 

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries, LLC

832-484-8306

Here Is Your Weekly Wisdom!

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” Let us hold fast to the profession of faith without wavering .” Hebrews 10:23

It’s so easy to get caught up in the details of daily living. If you are not careful, daily living can take over your focus on your faith. Sometimes it’s a slow drip and happens gradually, and others it can be easy to allow faith and beliefs to take a back stage to the other things in life. That means God is taking a back stage too. The profession of your faith is so important because speaking it out creates stronger faith. You need this in your life in order to be ready in and out of season; to handle any issue that might arise in life with God as a part of your decisions and solutions.

Affirm: “Today, I will remind myself to speak out loud and profess the faith that I have been given through Christ. I will remember Him in all things that I do and draw Him into my experience from the inside out. I will not take my faith for granted, but grant God the center stage of my life.”

Loving you from here,

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry

Are You Living Outside of Yourself?

IMG_20171023_130408Do you find yourself continually affected by other people’s actions, attitudes, or things that happen to you? If you are, then you are not alone. We all tend to do this and for some reason make our lives harder than it has to be. Have you ever noticed if you walk into a room filled with people in a bad mood your mood tends to change to align with theirs? Or maybe your relationship partner will get to you by their actions or personality now and then. We all do affect one another’s lives but we are not meant to live outside of ourselves to the point where everyone and every other thing affects how we are or feel inside.

For some reason, people tend to be like sheep. We follow others instead of being our own leader. Jesus referred to people as sheep a few times in His conversations. I certainly can see why. The hard thing about living in a way where we are always affected by others, is that we never really end up finding ourselves in the mess around us. Leadership starts within because God lives within each of us. We are supposed to now be the temple of the Holy Spirit, and with that truth, be personally and individually guided by Him. We can’t live for others. We can serve them but not live for them. The idea is to learn to live our own lives from within ourselves.

God created you to be a unique human being, unlike any other. You are meant to be lead by His Spirit and to hear God for yourself. Your life is too precious to be a reflection of someone else’s. A life lived well is one lived true to one’s self and not mirroring others lives.

If you have looked into the mirror lately and have not recognized yourself. Maybe some good emotional release coaching would be of great benefit to you! You only have ONE life to live here on earth. Why not live it as the best you that you could possibly be?

In love and release,

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

832-484-8306