God’s Pressure Release Valve

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My mother always told me that tears are good for the soul, but why? There are several reasons tears are good for us. Let me give you a framework to begin with.

  1. They are a signal for God to release His goodness and power into our lives. John 16:20 tells us God will turn our tears into shouts of joy! What was meant for harm to us in this world will be changed and transformed into happiness and joy-filled moments. There is no promise we will be sorrow free. We are to expect to suffer. In the same respect, we are also to expect joy.
  2. God collects our tears. In Psalm 56:8, king David says God collects our tears in a bottle. This means God keeps careful track of all of the tears we shed, and at the right time, they will be released for us in the form of blessing.
  3. Tears help us to let go of emotional baggage and relieve stress. There is something powerful about releasing from our eyes. Whatever was clouding our vision will be cleared, and our way will be shown to us.
  4. Our tears bring hope through our joy. Not all tears are sorrowful. Some are joy-filled. When joyful tears are shed, hope is on the rise. With our tears, we give ourselves hope for today and tomorrow. We also show hope and compassion to those around us.

I’m not sure where or when it became terrible or wrong to cry. All of the prophets of old cried out to God and to others. We are a unit, and when one cries, we all cry. We don’t always see ourselves through the lens of our oneness, but the truth is, we are one. When we cry out, we cry out for ourselves and all. Our hearts are more than just a pumping muscle. We have a soulful heart that is a miracle creator should we choose to allow release and healing to happen. Don’t worry. God has this, and so do you!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

JenineMarie.com

The Drama Addict: (Promised Post)

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This is most confusing to me as to how or why anyone would want drama in their lives when it can be avoided. Yet, it is an addiction. Drama addicts love chaos, either self created or borrowed from others. Drama addiction kind of goes along with gossip and it’s horrible to get caught in the wind of those who are addicted to this practice. There is actually an endorphin high that goes on in the brain when a drama addict gets their fix. Most often this person suffers from low self esteem or has the need to be higher than others. So therefore they step on people emotionally to create the illusion that their lives are better than those they step on.

The drama addict will feel the need to create anger out of someone else just to get a fix, or relish in the news that someone is doing poorly. They have to know what goes on in everyone’s life so they can manipulate, spread gossip, or create some sort of chaos out of it in order to satisfy their need. It’s almost a narcissistic personality trait but can be an addiction on its own.

An in-law I had in the past was this sort of person. Every single day was spent sitting around on the phone gossiping about others, or creating some sort of gossip to make someone else feel bad. If she got a reaction, she was in a heavenly illusion. She lived to make others miserable, and that she did most of her life. Its a sad existence but those who are addicted to drama have learned this through family dysfunction and its all they know. It is their “norm”.  I used to think this woman hated my guts and I wondered why. I never thought I gave her a reason to feel that way about me. Then eventually, I realized she did not hate me; I was just an easy target. I’m sensitive, intuitive, and compassionate. (Sensitivity is a good thing in people. We are teachers of compassion in this world). I have all of the things she never could have because they were just boring to her. For a long time I thought of her as an evil seed, but eventually understood her to have drama addiction. This woman felt the need to gossip about me on the phone even while she was on her death bed! I don’t know if I could live in that negativity.

Drama addicts love to make sensitive people cry, be uncomfortable, or get them upset. This feeds the drama need and then can be passed on in the form of gossip. When we think of it, really, its a kind of smear campaign against others who just want to live their lives and not be involved in any of it. They love to reel us in like fish on a hook.

If you know a drama addict, I have this advice for you: 

  1. See them as an unenlightened person who has a dysfunction or sickness. They need our prayers but this does not mean we should be involved with them.
  2. This leads me to #2. RUN, in the other direction! Sometimes prayer is all we can offer for those who have this or any type of addiction. Stay out of their covert clutches.
  3. Don’t buy into their gossip, smear campaign, or strategy, even if they appear to confide in you and you find yourself on their good side. Eventually you will be their target again because they always need one.
  4. Drama addicts have their co-dependents just like any addicts. Stay away from them as well! You will always recognize their co-dependents. Birds of a feather flock together as they say.
  5. Forgive and move on. Stay out of the gossip column. Keep your business to yourself and NEVER confide in the drama addict! You might as well heap coals on your head!

The above is just a bit of advice. I am sure you can come up with your own. If you find yourself stuck in the clutches of a drama addict and want out, please always feel free to call me! 832-484-8306. I can deprogram you from the hurt this dysfunction causes. Don’t pass on the gossip! Talk to someone who will hold your thoughts in confidence.

If you are a drama addict and need healing and release, please also feel free to call and make an appointment. Life can be so free if you let it be!

PS It is a falsehood  that women are the only ones who are drama addicts. Many men are as well. Please be aware of this!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries LLC 

 

Addictions and the Co-Dependent

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I think co-dependency is something most of us have heard about at one time or another, especially when it comes to being around those who are addicted to a substance , action, or drama. There are so many things an individual can be addicted to, but those who are also dependent with the addict are the one’s who generally hurt the most from what is happening around them. In fact, the drama addict can cause more pain than can even be imagined to someone who is connected to that person. More on the drama addict in another post.

The co-dependent is the one who lives in the shadows of the addicted person. Although, not addicted to the substance of choice themselves, they are addicted to being with the person who is. I know this sounds strange but it is true. The co-dependent will enable the addict to get their fix of whatever it might be just to try to maintain balance in a relationship. They will also allow the addiction to continue right in front of them, keep the secrets that are held about it, and become the scapegoat or reason the addict decides they have a problem so they will not look at themselves.

It’s very hard for an addicted person to admit they have caused their own chaos, so the co-dependent gets to be the target. Unfortunately it is also the co-dependent who ends up with most of the emotional and physical problems in the beginning. As an addicted person continues within their addiction they will be the one who will suffer the most from the addiction. No one who is out of balance as much as an addicted individual will be healthy forever.

I remember listening to those who smoked cigarettes all of their lives, coming to a place where they wished to God they never touched them. They made all the excuses possible to use them at the time, being in denial that any damage will ever be done. It’s a very sneaky thing. Damage lies deep within the recesses of the emotions and the body and eventually it will surface, guaranteed.

For the co-dependent getting balance and maintaining their own life is the key to keeping sane. Self care, and focus on what is important to maintain good health and sanity is a life saver for those who are connected to an addicted person. It takes a lot of faith and healing for the co-dependent to break the chains that an addict has upon them. They might not see them but they are there. They are held captive emotionally, physically, and financially to just name a few things.

Breaking a pattern is not easy but it can be done. God’s ways are not the ways of the world. He created a universe that acts according to positive belief and faith. There is a power that is greater than what any addict can enforce upon a co-dependent. It is the power of God’s love and grace within the individual and the commanded forces that God gives in support of the one who calls upon Him for action and guidance.

If you are connected to someone who has an addiction problem of any kind. Take heart, because there is healing and freedom midst the storm. You can be released from the power hold addictions have had on you. You can escape them and when you do you will feel the freedom that soars like an eagle just as God has spoken. You might be broken, but not for long. You might be consumed but not forever. All you need to begin a new phase of living and healing is the desire to have it and to spiritually ask. “Ask and it shall be given unto you.”

Loving you from here,

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

832-484-8306

Are You Living Outside of Yourself?

IMG_20171023_130408Do you find yourself continually affected by other people’s actions, attitudes, or things that happen to you? If you are, then you are not alone. We all tend to do this and for some reason make our lives harder than it has to be. Have you ever noticed if you walk into a room filled with people in a bad mood your mood tends to change to align with theirs? Or maybe your relationship partner will get to you by their actions or personality now and then. We all do affect one another’s lives but we are not meant to live outside of ourselves to the point where everyone and every other thing affects how we are or feel inside.

For some reason, people tend to be like sheep. We follow others instead of being our own leader. Jesus referred to people as sheep a few times in His conversations. I certainly can see why. The hard thing about living in a way where we are always affected by others, is that we never really end up finding ourselves in the mess around us. Leadership starts within because God lives within each of us. We are supposed to now be the temple of the Holy Spirit, and with that truth, be personally and individually guided by Him. We can’t live for others. We can serve them but not live for them. The idea is to learn to live our own lives from within ourselves.

God created you to be a unique human being, unlike any other. You are meant to be lead by His Spirit and to hear God for yourself. Your life is too precious to be a reflection of someone else’s. A life lived well is one lived true to one’s self and not mirroring others lives.

If you have looked into the mirror lately and have not recognized yourself. Maybe some good emotional release coaching would be of great benefit to you! You only have ONE life to live here on earth. Why not live it as the best you that you could possibly be?

In love and release,

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

832-484-8306

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grace In the Process of Forgiving Others (VIDEO)

11988378_10153670839814255_4027848974804248960_nDo you have trouble with forgiving those who have harmed or offended you? Are you stuck in a place where you are becoming hard in your heart, or do you want to be authentic when you feel like it is impossible to do so? This video will teach you how the power of God’s grace helps in the forgiveness process! God bless you in your hearing!

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

800-421-1765

 

 

Inner Deliverance and Deeper Healing Part 2 (video )

11988378_10153670839814255_4027848974804248960_nContinue to learn about healing from the inside out, what the devil likes to attach to, and how to get rid of him! Casing out demons is not enough. Inner healing takes excavation of the inner parts.

-Blessings, Pastor Jenine Marie

800-421-1765

 

 

 

Do You Need Deliverance That Comes From High Places?

arguingOne warm summer night I had decided to go to the store and get a treat to end my long hot day. As I drove up to a parking space my attention was called to a couple in the car across from me. They were in a heated argument in the car. It was pretty intense. I could hear their words with both our windows up. Both were extremely upset and neither seemed willing to calm down.

I sat quietly and observed for a few moments feeling like I was somehow intruding where I did not belong, but felt compelled to stay. Suddenly the woman broke down into tears, both got out of the car, and continued their argument in the middle of the driving area. It all came to a point where she could take no more, threw down a cup she was drinking from, and began to walk off with him following her.

A moment later the car door opened once again and a little figure exited the car. It was a little boy probably about 2 years old. He sat down on the edge of the curb by the car with his head in his hands, sobbing. Just as I was about to get out of the car, the woman who was probably his mother, came back to comfort him.

I wanted to go out to comfort them both but something held me still as I prayed for them. She wrapped her arms around her child and both of them sobbed. A few moments later the man reappeared and as the woman and her child got back into the car I heard her yell out to him, “I will never allow you to do this to me again”! She drove off with her child, leaving the man behind. She was notably angry but obviously sobbing. I continued to observe and pray as the man watched the car drive out of sight.

I did not have to know them to understand what had just happened. This woman was broken down, her son was being effected, and she could take no more. I don’t know what happened to them after that. She might have gone back to him or she might have gone and packed her things and left him. I was praying for the latter.

I might not have known what the argument was about, but I did hear the comments from the man when they were out of the car. They were demeaning, heartless, and unforgiving. Even in the face of her sobbing, he was relentless and cared nothing of her brokenness. Regardless how it started, what it was about, or who was originally at fault, there was no way any man should be allowed to treat a broken woman the way he treated her. First he broke her, then he battered her down with more insults. Yes, it is true, they both argued, but it was obvious her heart was not being cared for.

I hoped she left him and never returned to the battle field. The enemy had a field day that evening. He broke apart a relationship. It was hard to see it all in action; watching two people destroying their lives and their peace of mind and heart. It was all so senseless and cruel. I was the witness to two wounded people creating another new wounded person in the little boy. It happens far too much in our society.

Only Christ can remove the spirits that torment the wounded and only Christ can heal them by the power of His shed blood. This chaos is what happens when the enemy is given legal access to a family or relationship. The sad truth is that the enemy has no legal grounds in taking what belongs to God; not unless we allow him to. So many allow him!

Jesus has already declared the enemy guilty and we are already free. We just need to approach the heavenly realms in order to allow God to judge the demonic powers that torment us and proclaim Jesus’ shed blood for our freedom. It is that simple and that powerful!

If you are struggling with demonic interference in your life and need a spiritual intervention, don’t wait any longer please! We all struggle but when we go boldly to the throne room of God together to be delivered from the oppression from the enemy, amazing changes can happen!

My deepest prayer for you is release, deliverance, and freedom in Christ Jesus. He will guide you and free you from the torments of Satan’s evil army.

If you need help in this area, please call me at 800-421-1765. I would love to guide you through!

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries 

 

Are You Ready to Go Belly UP With God?

cry-out-to-jesusHave you ever felt like your emotions are packed inside of you tighter than a canned ham? Boy, I have. I don’t know why we keep quiet when we should open up and speak our truth, stand our ground, and express our opinion. I think it is to not offend. Or sometimes we think it will cause an issue we are not ready to defend or even deal with. It’s hard stuff. It takes more energy to keep things stuffed inside than it does to defend a verbal war if it causes one! Of course, some things are better left to silence. God instructs us in wisdom in those things. We have to learn to grow and pick our battles well.

During the silent times I like to contemplate my position. Sometimes I tell God in my heart that I am upset, offended, hurt, and confused. This works for awhile and even calms me to the extent that I can continue for a bit longer feeling like that canned ham. Sooner or later, though, like when water becomes too tightly contained, the dam has to break open! Before I know it, my “stuff” is flowing out all over the place. It’s all of the hurts, the upset feelings, the dealings with the past that felt so familiar, and everything in between. I mean, it had no where else to go right? Hmm.

It’s not a new concept; you know, to suddenly burst with a fit of frustration. They did this in the Old Testament days as well. In grief, frustration, in loss, and confusion, they tore at themselves because it seemed like there was just no where else to go with all that emotion. In fact, they ripped their own garments and it even got more graphic.

Ezra 9:3 

“When I heard this, I tore my tunic and cloak, pulled hair from my head and beard and sat down appalled.”

I never personally experienced wanting to pull my own beard, for lack of having one, but I sure know what it is like to suddenly sit down completely appalled! When I read the quote above from the book of Ezra, it seems almost uneventful at first. Try to picture this scene. A man heard difficult news and suddenly he could take no more so he tore his clothing, and pulled his own beard! You have got to know this man had a belly aching shout or groan in there somewhere or what would be the point?

As time when on we can move forward to the prophet Joel where he tells us to “rend our hearts and not our garments”. He presents to us a vision of opening up and tearing our hearts out to God. Do you think this is done silently? That’s not the visual I get. I think rending my heart means to let it all out and not hold anything back! To me it means moans, groans, and belly aches!

Joel 2:13 

“Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.”

I just love this concept because God gives us the picture of Him being a safe place to rend our hearts open. I think we can safely say we can go to Him and absolutely let ourselves burst open with all of our frustration, anger, upset feelings, wounds, and heartache. Instead of being met with another person’s anger, God meets us with his love, and His compassion. I love where the scriptures say that “he relents from sending calamity”. To me this means that God will listen and won’t fight with me like a person might! I mean, I can say whatever I want and God knows my heart enough to meet me with safe compassion and understanding. He knows I will calm down eventually and He also knows that this release gives me healing and strength when it is over. Venting to God is what I call “going belly up” and its the most productive venting there is.

Speaking of bellies. Let’s take a spin into the story of Jonah and the whale. As the story goes, Jonah was avoiding things; mainly his calling. He was to be sent to Nineveh with a message from God Himself. The poor prophet could just feel a nasty confrontation coming on. Oh, how he wanted to just run, hide, and keep it all bottled up! I could totally see myself doing that, can you? Then God lets him get swallowed up by a whale and there he was with all of his bottled up stuff inside that belly.

Can you imagine from the whale’s perspective here? Nothing more icky tasting than a whining prophet stuck down in there to make a whale feel quite ill! I’m sure that whale was quite relieved to get that out of his gut! I figure Jonah was in no paradise either, churning around inside a whale who now feels he is getting ready to just vomit! As you can read, vomit he did!

Jonah 2:10 

“And the LORD commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.”

Ewe! The problem was resolved though. The whale got someone out of his gut and Jonah went into the city of Nineveh and let the message of God out into the open where it all had to land! I bet they were both relieved. No more whining prophet in the gut and no more stuck message in the prophet! Talk about an amazing way to go belly up!  God is amazing, huh?

I guess I better get to the point of the message here. Sometimes it is better to just go belly up with God and let His compassion take care of the issues rather than wait until it is so sickening inside that the Lord has to assist you in vomiting it out to get some relief. Either way you will get relief. Either way is alright too! It all depends on what you feel you need. I mean sometimes a good verbal vomit to God gets the job done. I would like to think of a cleaner way to put it and to do it, but I think this way kind of fits.

The Lord is a compassionate safe place to let out our frustration and no tearing of the clothing or anything else is really needed. We can also go belly up with Him and not wait until the stuff is so sickening that we end up in a verbal vomit situation. I know this might be a strange way to put it but I have learned that I really like to cut to the chase and tell it like it is. As I told one of my friends, and now she echos, “I’m not your Mama’s minister”! Oh, I’m demure and unassuming in my own right, but when I have to go belly up with God because of the stink that is brewing inside of me; get out of my way because I intend to give Him all I’ve got! I know that His mercy and strength will come afterward. He is gracious and causes no calamity in the process.

I come out roaring and better for it. Instead of weakened by the wounds and issues stuck deep inside, God fills the holes with Holy Spirit. Instead of feeling like life has forced me down, I am instead a force to be reckoned with when the enemy comes creeping around me! That’s empowerment from God! It’s freedom at its finest moment!

Don’t ever be afraid to go belly up with God. He will meet you where you are and He will be compassionate. He will fill you with His Holy Spirit and the strength you need will always be there because He will supply you like no other force on earth. His love is deep and wide for you. He is a safe place to spew out your stuff, and maybe, just maybe, He will send you to a place like Nineveh to give His message to a people who need to hear Him!

Here’s to your belly up moments!

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

Jenine Marie Coaching

800-421-1765 prayer