How to Attract the Right Romantic Partner

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Every person on this earth desires to “couple.” It’s a part of who and what we are. We are designed to be in relationships of all kinds, but the deeper and more profound relationships are the romantic love relationships we typically seek. Romantic connections are the relationships that teach us the most in life, not only about ourselves but life itself. One of the greatest struggles we all seem to have is attracting the right person into our lives. For some reason, we all tend to focus on people’s outer aspects and not as much on the inside and energetic aspects of attracting the right mate.

As much as we love to experience that emotional high that comes from being with a very attractive person, this can often lead to a mistake in judgment. Don’t get me wrong, physical attraction is important. Yet, suppose we don’t understand how we attract people toward us. In that case, the outer exterior will not make much of a difference when we find we have yet another relationship mistake.

One thing to understand is we are like energy magnets. Surrounding our outer bodies, we have an energetic body that reflects what is contained in our inner bodies’ energy centers. That external body of energy, although unseen, reaches far beyond our physical appearance into the energy field. Universal Law tells us that like attracts like. So, what we put out there, along with our intention to attract a mate, is a whole lot of who we are as a person.

We also attract life lessons. We will attract those who receive messages from our most difficult inner struggles, past traumas, and soul wounds. When we do this, we invite ourselves into a relationship that will test us to the core of who we are. The idea is to heal and rise above the issues that surface while interacting with the one who seems to rub us the wrong way, no matter what we do. Believe me; the quantum electromagnetic field is always choosing for you even when you are not aware of it.

So, how do you attract a relationship that has less of a struggle and has a more enjoyable, romantic, and love-filled time? The bigger question I always seem to hear is, “How do I attract or find ‘the one’?” The answer is simple but not necessarily easy. To attract the right one, you need to be “the one.” Since like attracts like, be the kind of person you want to attract into your life. If you want someone loving, caring, thoughtful, and romantic, then be that type of person. If you want someone who is less anchored in past trauma, soul scars, and issues, then be less anchored in those things. In other words, heal yourself first and focus on being a magnet for exactly what you desire by being what will attract those attributes in a mate. Here are some ways to do that:

Work with someone who is skilled in helping you identify your soul scars by talk sessions and energy work. There is no greater gift you can give to yourself than to heal from the past and release yourself into the present moment. The past need not echo into your future. You can clear these things, deal with them, and stop sending those messages out into the energy fields of others. Choose an energy master who has coaching and counseling skills.

Learn how to balance the energy centers (Chakras) of your body from someone who is trained and educated to help you do this. Balancing can be accomplished both in-person and on the phone with the right professional. You can determine what you put out there in the energy field. Living a life in balance and “in the now” moment will attract those who also live a life in balance.

Learn to live in the now moment. Yesterday is gone. Do the release work and move to what is happening in the present. I like to say, “Present yourself to the present.” The right relationship, and one you should desire, is one that enjoys every moment of the present. No delving deep into yesterday’s wounds trying to figure out how to not step on each other’s emotional toes.

Bring a meditation practice into your life if you don’t already have one. Let meditative practice continue to reveal who you are and where you need to work on yourself. Meditation can be a vital life force and can strengthen what you genuinely desire both in yourself and a mate. Learn to breathe, center, and focus on the right intentions. Tuning your intentions will draw the most desired attributes in a mate that you can draw. Work on yourself daily. Don’t forget; you get who you are, not who you are merely hoping to receive. So be that person and then attract one who is ready to have a love-filled, mature, and beautiful relationship!

Find someone to help you do this work and keep you accountable to it. You will thank yourself later, and your new mate will thank you too! Let me start you off with this. Make a list of all the attributes you desire in a romantic partner. What things on the list do you also reflect yourself? If you don’t, then there are some blockages there. Most likely, you need to deal with inner wounds and energetic release. Work with someone on releasing that emotion and energy. Then go out and attract!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph.D.

JenineMarie.com

LifeLessonsbyJenineMarie.com

“Mom, He’s Looking At Me!”

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Being a mom is so fun! I remember when my kids used to sit around the breakfast table eating and suddenly one of the girls would get upset because one of the boys was looking at her. (I had five kids, two boys and three girls.) Oh how I can just roll my eyes thinking of those mornings when one of the girls would blurt out, “Mom, he’s looking at me again!” My answer: “So what. Eat your breakfast.”

This is how I feel about social media, especially Facebook. It’s called “Face-book” right? Now we have many more, Instagram, Linkedin, etc. All are geared toward others finding us, interacting with them, and getting to know them. We all have the ability to block those we don’t desire to communicate with. I guess we call it a personal space safety net, and one that I also do appreciate. We all need our personal space in person and online.

What really gives me a giggle is when someone puts up their profile on social media but then will only allow the public to see certain things about them (just so some can know they are doing well) but block them from seeing it all. It’s kind of ridiculous really. Or if someone finds out that we have “seen” their profile or have looked at it. Why do people get so upset about this? Again, its social media. Getting upset because someone has looked at our profile is like going to a party and hiding in the closet. People can know we are there and that we look great but they can’t see everything. God forbid that we interact! I want to laugh here because I find it so stupid. Oh, I’ve ranted about this before. Of course we do have those unsavory stalkers that pop up but that is what blocking is for. It’s also what saying no to a party is for as well.

We do have a choice. The funny thing is making the choice to be seen but getting upset when we are. Anyone with me here? It confuses me like the reality that anyone can send mail to our home mailbox but the same person sending email to us can be a no no. Yes, email can be flooded with a lot of unwelcome things but those things are just as tangible as real mail is.

When I put up my profiles on social media it’s because I want people to find my writing, my posts, and sometimes me. If someone bothers me I block them and they can’t see any of it. They still can read my blog writing or see my website. It’s alright with me! LOOK! It’s what its there for.

Personal boundaries aside, we all should recognize we are meant to be a united humanity. We struggle with getting along though. So, we have need of personal space and sometimes have to do some blocking.  Yet, when we are in public we are seen just as much as our social profile, if not more. When someone sees me in person they see it all just as it is. No hiding the 5 pounds I put on lately or if I am having the best day that day. Sometimes we cry, we are angry, we are in bad situations, and we are lost. There are days that are the opposite. Exposing them does not make us weak, it makes us strong and real; someone others can relate to.

I often wonder when we will ever be family or if we always will be upset because “someone is looking at us”. I wonder if God, our passed over loved ones, or if the angels roll their eyes and say, “So what. Eat your breakfast.”

PS. Next time someone unexpected looks at your profile, say cheese, smile, take a photo, post it, and be honored they counted you so important!

Loving you from here, 

Dr Rev Jenine Marie Howry

What is Assumption Really Doing?

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We have all heard of jealousy as being the “green eyed monster”, but I feel assuming is more green and more monstrous. Assumption speaks out a lie about someone else. When someone assumes they think they know what the other is thinking, or what the intentions of the heart are, without asking. The first thing that happens with a negative assumption is we react. Usually its with hurt or anger. The hard part is the reaction is just as much as a lie as the assumption. When we really think about it, when someone assumes they are lying to themselves. It’s not the other person or situation, it is actually a reflection of the assumer’s own consciousness.

We assume out of our pain, anger, or past experiences. Assumption believes that another person’s actions are like someone else they knew, or an experience they had before. So what are the keys that unlock assumption?

  1. ASK the other person about their intent, words, or actions.
  2. BELIEVE the best in the situation and not just take on the worst
  3. KNOW that assumption is teaching you about yourself and has very little to do with another person.

Remember, relationship is not about “getting along” as much as it is about learning. We are not only learning about someone else or others, but we are learning more about ourselves. Relationships come into our lives as mirrors to show us the faces of our own souls. If we always remember this, then the anger comes less and the lesson comes more!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev Jenine Marie Howry

#WalkInTruth

 

Do You Hang with a Telephone Gossip, or Dirty Talker?

road-people-street-smartphone.jpgIt is so true that we become like the people we hang around with or talk to. I have watched people transform in the wrong directions just talking to new people who bring out the worst in them instead of the best. This is absolute truth. If the words of your friends, connections, and others, are not edifying, you will become just like them. Ditch them!

Seriously! What you put out there is what you manifest in your life. What you listen to and engage in regarding conversation is what will also guide your life. Marriages are broken, families are separated, reputations are lost, and lifestyles go down the drain through bad connections.

Remember God’s words about hanging out with a gossip. DON’T DO IT! Everything they say to you and everything you say to them will become like a radio broadcast. Before you know it you have no idea why others start to avoid you. You stop getting promotions, people won’t like you, and you will wonder why. Watch your words. If they are changing and you are becoming more bold with things that are less than pure, you are talking to the WRONG people in your life.

You will then watch God and His created Universe only support and send dirty things into your life that will keep you from His best. Do you want this? Here is a suggestion.

Make a list of all of those you connect with on a regular basis and think about how interacting with them affects your life. Do they bring blessing or do they bring division between you and God’s blessings? If you listen and talk with a dirty talker then you will be pegged as one as well. Not only that, you will BECOME one.

Look toward those who have good hearts and pure minds. They are those who will be supportive when things are hard. There are a lot of good people and good choices to make out there. Make the good ones and watch your life be blessed and cared for!

**Talk to someone you can trust and will hold your confidence. These are those who you can let everything hang out and they are accepting, non judgmental, and support you no matter what. Stick with friends who will compassionately listen, laugh with you, and hope the best for you no matter what you have to share with them.

Loving you from here,

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries LLC 

Are Your Relationships Suffering Because of Your PHONE?

pexels-photo-693269.jpegNo doubt our current technology is an amazing thing! Way back in what now seems like the stone age, we never imagined the freedom in technology we have these days. We see people while we talk on the phone or online. We transmit messages instantly and send at the touch of a button. Wow, who knew? May I add that energy makes this possible, but this blog post is not about energy, atoms, or even our personal chi. Although, I could go off on that tangent!

No, this blog post is about using technology wisely and how its misuse can give off the worst impression ever. I can already see your nod when I mention this. Its been said before and probably quite a few times from many different sources. Texting and scrolling through one’s phone while having lunch, a discussion, or spending time with someone is RUDE.

I’ve had this happen a few times in my recent years and even in my recent months. I’ve been invited to lunches, business connections, dinners, and just plain talked to people in line at the store where their nose never left their phones. I’ve really wanted to say something but only in one case really had the guts. I guess I should work on my tactful nerve. I’ve actually walked into restaurants and witnessed people having lunch and all of them texting on their phones. Why gather to begin with? I’ve sat with two other people eating while they both texted and spent most of their time on their phone. I wondered if we lunched at all. Maybe if I had on my high-powered business suit they might have been a bit more “polite”. Although, it should not matter what I was wearing. I still wonder if they even heard me at all.

Here is the real thought in question. Why spend time chatting with someone on your phone while a live person is right in front of you? Honestly, I think it is a new form of addiction. No one talks any more! It’s too easy to text, and I am guilty as charged when it comes to the ease of the text message. Yet, I never text at the table when I am with others and rarely text when I am with my significant other unless its important that I do so. Even then I excuse myself.

I feel like I have to fight for the right to be seen. Let me explain how it feels to be at a business lunch or casual lunch and people are texting during the whole lunch. It makes a person feel INVISIBLE and INVALUABLE. I don’t like to be rude and interrupt a person’s texting but I do feel that if someone has made the time to spend time with me, then that is what I should get; the other person’s undivided attention.

Are you consensual texting? If you are a married couple and can’t even watch a movie together without texting on your phones then, ah hem, you have a marriage problem. You might not think so but you do. If you have a friend you meet for lunch and you text the whole time, then you have no friendship there at all. You might have the illusion of friendship but you have nothing if you can’t spend time with that person uninterrupted.

I think I made a point to evaluate here. Are we willing to risk ruining our relationships over the technological age? It’s not that it is all bad. Remember, everything with discretion, moderation, and in balance. Repeat, “The Universe loves balance!” Also, “God loves relationship!” Yes, it is true we can have a full heart connection through technology and that is wonderful! I love the smiley faces and even the sad one’s to give the impression of emotion. At the sacrifice of someone who is right in front of us, this is not a good option though. No one wants to be anyone’s sacrificial lamb.

Honestly, I think the next time someone invites me to lunch and texts the whole time, I will ask for a clean plate, take the phone out of their hand, place it on the plate and tell them to have a nice lunch and leave. I’m a real strong advocate of how we teach people how to treat us. If they get away with being rude once they will do it again. We are all worth more than that. We are worth our weight in gold and then some!

Do a heart connection. Leave your phone in your purse or pocket. Better yet, spend time with someone and leave your phone at home. Do we even dare try that one? If you can’t leave your phone at home, you might have a phone addiction problem. Hmm, much to ponder.

Loving you from here!

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries LLC 

Love Trumps Rules

heartHave you ever heard the expression, “rules without relationship bring rebellion”? A person can try to enforce all the rules upon someone else but if there is no relationship all the rules in the world can not make someone love or obey. I can’t say why we get so caught up in rules in the Christian faith but it sure does not bring good relationships. Jesus’ way is the way of the Father’s love. His love is a love that covers even when we fail or make mistakes, and we all fail.

Jesus came for the sick not the perfect. The irony is there is none who is perfect, so in the divine design he died for everyone. It’s our personal choice if we want to accept His ways or not. To be in Christ is to be in love.

Honestly, who cares how a person prays as long as they do, or how a person dresses because it is God who dressed man and woman first in the garden of Eden. When someone opens their mouth to speak the word of God does it really matter what gender they are as long as the words their mouth speak are God’s?

I’ve been thinking a lot about this today, you know, rules over grace. There seem to be so many more “thou shalt not’s” than God originally intended. Even in the commandments that God gave to us, He also gave us grace through the death and resurrection of His Son Jesus. If we really truly want healing we need love in grace. If we really truly want fellowship with the people of God, and God Himself, then we need to chuck the rules and go with relationship instead. We already have too much rebellion.

How can we build beautiful churches and not allow the whole council of God be spoken within them by denying women to speak? If Jesus showed up in rags and in bare feet would we allow Him in our doorways? I wonder if we need that new sound system or if we need more love in our hearts to feed those who are weary and poor. These are not meant to be judgement but observations and questions that I have.

Having relationship means having love. How do we expect anyone to follow the ways of Christ by causing them to feel judged every time they turn around? I’m sure some of my statements here are not popular. I am not looking to be popular but to speak the truth. Everyone seems to have a different rule these days. Rules of how to pray right and rules of how to act or dress. We can’t go to some seminaries if we have been divorced and yet God allowed divorce. He said so in the Bible. It does not mean that divorce is the better road but it means grace covers those who have to go through the ordeal.

I’m voting for relationship and I am on the side of love; God’s love through Christ. I don’t know how to fix the mistakes we make in the church, but I know the One who does, and I think if we turn to Him the answers are already there.

In love and peace,
Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

832-484-8306

Ever Find Yourself Around a Bragging Person?

7a1211fa52903d5799b3b94f69797416Psalm 5:5

“Those who brag cannot stand in your sight.”  (God’s Word Translation) 

Have you ever been in the presence of someone who can not stop talking about themselves? Or, have you known a person who continually brings up their accomplishments? Sometimes the person has to word things so they can be seen in a good light to impress others. At this point, if you are rolling your eyes, I’m sure you have. If you have you are in good company with God. People who brag can not even stand in His sight according to the Scripture above.

I truly hated to even continue that Scripture because the rest says that “God hates those who sin”. Please don’t take this as God hates His creation. What it really means is God hates sin, period, and bragging is a sin. Why? It’s because it comes from ego and pride. The Bible tells us that pride comes before a fall. Lucifer was filled with pride. He bragged about himself. He was the most beautiful angel in all of the heavens, creating music for the others to worship with. His prideful attitude and bragging got him into a lot of trouble. He eventually wanted others to worship him and not God.

When people take on this trait they are acting like Lucifer and wanting to be adored, or somehow liked or envied by others. I can see God rolling His eyes right along with us. We can understand how some just feel like they want to be liked and for some reason think that bragging or trying to show themselves in the best light will do the trick, but its a slippery slope. Bragging, talking about one’s self all the time, and trying to be seen in a good light so much that it makes others want to run the other way will only result in an eventual fall.

The Lord loves humility. The meek shall truly inherit the earth. Humility does not draw attention to one’s self, but to, God or to lift up others. The “I got it all going on” mentality is only a smoke screen for a deeply insecure person. You see, no one is ever fooled by the braggart. Usually they do not know that others are rolling their eyes either behind their backs or in their minds. I am not saying this to be cruel, but to point out a character issue that God really can’t stand. Its alright to be happy, to love one’s life, and to smile with confidence, but when that confidence takes the turn into pride it becomes a stench that most all of us want to turn away from. Basically, the person is full of themselves and not full of God. The braggart can not get close to God for this reason, so therefore God calls it sin.

I had a friend who called this syndrome as one who thinks they are “all that and a bag of chips”. I used to laugh at that statement because I had no idea what chips had to do with it but it was funny at the time! It certainly is not fun or funny to be around someone who is so filled with their own image that they could never ever see God’s

If you are surrounded by those who are like this, of course pray. Don’t expect them to just change. You could always try the “drop the bomb and leave approach”. You know, suggest they might be full of themselves and then leave them alone with that thought. Most people who tend to brag really don’t know how much they irritate others around them. They have this, “I am the best of all worlds” kind of attitude. Sometimes it makes them feel powerful and over others who might even be suffering or hurting in some way. Its a false image of power because no one likes it no matter how much the braggart thinks they are impressed.

Let’s call it like it is. Arrogance is obnoxious! This is not going to sound pretty, but bring me a barf bag and make it fast! Before you think this is a bit insulting, look up the passages about how God will spew the haughty out of his mouth! I think God wants a barf bag too! There is no room in heavenly places for bragging or self service. My advice? Turn from their remarks and definitely don’t encourage them! It only feeds their need to be seen and admired. Walk in the other direction. Sooner or later they might get the idea and if not, then God will deal with them because pride always comes before a fall.

This is by no means criticism.  It’s actually soul saving conversation. We don’t want to do anything that causes us to feel far from God. It’s a miserable existence. The “I do better than anyone else” mentality never advances anyone. God gives favor to the humble and the meek in heart. He is close to the broken and to all those who set their admiration on Him and not themselves.

Being around a braggart is like wearing a scratchy sweater. We want to take them off our lives as quickly as we can! Remember, out of the heart the mouth speaks. Its a heart condition and one that can be isolating as much as it is irritating.

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries

Voice of Hope Victory and Prayer Center

800-421-1765

Dealing With the “Lack of Maturity” Type Person

11988378_10153670839814255_4027848974804248960_nPsychologists tell us about the type A, type B person or personality. I tend to agree that there are people who are either on one side of the spectrum or the other. We don’t always hear about what I call “the lack of maturity” type person. This is putting aside that all of us have those moments of acting out and not being as “grown up” as we should.

Yet, there are those who tend to exude that lack of mature reasoning and almost seem stuck in a childhood type of mentality. I remember when my kids were growing up, there was the bully on the playground who always had to somehow “kick someone’s behind”,  ah hem, putting it in a more mild form. Even as I was growing up I could never understand that mentality. More surprising there are adults who never got past that mentality and draw that type of drama into others lives like a boat anchor that sinks just about everyone around them.

Lately, and actually over the last several years, my life has been affected by that type of person. Not by choice, but I guess you could say, by proxy. It does not feel good. I like to drive my life ahead, leaving that which is behind to be my past, just like the Bible and God says to do. Sometimes its inevitable though. That type of person gets dragged into our lives and we find ourselves fighting tooth and nail to avoid the “reap what you sow” blast that comes from them just because they are energetically and spiritually connected.

Over the last few weeks my experience came to a head though. I could NOT take any more. The “lack of maturity” person had to be removed or I had to remove myself. Sometimes it is a matter of principle and sometimes it is a matter of brokenness. I found myself broken because I did not take action sooner. The last thing I have ever needed was a shattered life again. So I had to take matters into my own hands and request that person to exit, stage left. I’ve never been a hateful person but I found myself having those feelings and it sure did not feel good. You know, God hates. He hates sin. He hates divorce. He hates adultery, and He hates rebellion and pride. So I know to occasionally have those feelings is normal, but not to act on them because vengeance belongs to the Lord, not to me.

I have grown to learn to guard my gate as to whom I allow in to my life and who I do not. I have my own set of values and it is perfectly fine to enforce them because the quality of my life is important. We are only given one to live and I want mine to be the best it can ever be. This is the bottom line here. Some people just don’t care if they hurt or harm us. They don’t care if they keep us waiting, or if they take what is not theirs to take. They don’t care if they break someone’s heart or even if they stomp on it after it is broken. That is the reality of this world.

There is another reality though. God gave us family and I know I have a lot of God given family! I was reminded by someone dear to me that I am one million strong with people who are behind me 110%! Wow, that truth takes care of so much of the hurt caused by the lack of maturity type people!

I want to encourage you today and stand your ground and not allow yourself to be affected by those who refuse to grow up. Leave them outside your gate and don’t allow their influence to infiltrate your life. You deserve the best and you certainly don’t deserve to live with a broken heart due to the mindless actions of others. Keep in mind to work toward forgiveness. This does not mean allow them back in! This means forgive so you can be forgiven by God and also so that your heart can be free! Then don’t, I repeat, don’t allow them back in again! People don’t just change and even when they do it takes a long time.

Keeping the lack of maturity people outside the sheep’s gate. It will give you peace; the kind that God wants you to have.

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries

Online Cheating

IMG_2636.JPGDo I really want to talk about this one? Sometimes God nudges me in directions that I really don’t want to go but it is necessary. This morning it happens to be online cheating. It comes up so much more often than most of us realize. Our techie age has created wonderful ways to meet people we otherwise would not meet, but unfortunately it is becoming the number one mode of marital/relationship infidelity. It is also becoming one of the foremost reasons for divorce in our country and others. After all, our country includes Canada, Mexico, and also the United States. Infidelity extends to the Philippines and other areas of the world. With the world at our fingertips the possibilities are multiplied.

I can already hear the questioning in my ears as to whether online communication with no intimacy is cheating or not. Well, I guess I can ask this question in return. Does your spouse know about your communications? If not, its cheating. It makes no difference if there is flirtation or not. Satisfying emotional needs with someone besides your spouse is cheating. I’ve written on adultery before. It seems to come up a lot. I think because it happens so very much in our society. It makes me wonder if there ever is a faithful marriage or relationship.

Here are some important reasons why connecting online or by text message to someone other than ones spouse is detrimental to a marriage.

  1. It gives intimacy to another person that belongs to a marital partner.
  2. Marital intimacy is affected, and where there is no intimacy it is considered abandonment.
  3. Secret communications and abandonment of intimacy is adultery which is considered to be a Biblical reason for divorce.
  4. It will cause unspeakable pain to the spouse that one thinks will always be unaware. Believe me, spouses always become aware eventually.
  5. It is extremely disrespectful to a spouse who is on the other side of it
  6. Sometimes there is no way to repair the damage it causes.

Bottom line, if you cherish your spouse or relationship and don’t want to lose it, then STOP. The Bible tells us that we should be in control of our actions and our bodies. There really are no excuses that are valid. We should tame the tongue, be in control of our own flesh, and be faithful in our marriage and relationships.

No excuse can change these issues. A strong faith is required in this world and with God. We are expected to walk the upstanding journey with God. If we refuse then we don’t love God and we can’t possibly love our spouse that much. Real love lays down its life for another. That means the temptation to connect with temporary thrills and chills that will end up permanent damage. It’s a huge smoke screen and it causes a lot of damage.

Don’t allow the devil to win in your relationships! If there is someone you cherish, don’t risk the possibility  of losing that person to momentary pleasures or connections that disrespect your marriage.

I pray for you and for your marriage and relationships to come. Be stronger than temptation and dump the junk that the devil uses to break up every marriage he targets. Remember, we are here to run the race with diligence. Don’t allow marriage failure due to adultery or abandonment to hinder your race.

Lovingly,

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries

What Happened to Friendship?

cropped-14208503182375381246I can’t think of too many things more precious than a childhood best friend. You know the kind. We stick together no matter what. She is the best friend forever kind of friend and the one we can always count on to be knocking on our door ready for the next days adventure. Nothing is too sacred that it could not be shared, and every plan made had to include this best friend forever.

If we are lucky, we go through quite a few years together; growing, learning, creating playful moments and sharing secrets. This friend knew our first crush, our favorite ice cream flavor and we knew hers. It’s priceless, innocent, and there is no reason to question if she cared if we were hurt or not because she always cared. It’s a child like innocent friendship the way God intended friendships to be. We trusted because there was never a reason given not to trust. It was unspoken that we guarded one another.

They were more simple days back then, you know, childhood. Then we grow up and make things complicated. We experience more rejection, the harshness of he world, and also begin to move forward into what “life expects us to produce”. We are meant to couple, to marry, to have kids, create a home, find a career, finish college, and the list goes on. Sometimes we part. Not because we wanted to but because we had to. Sometimes we remain friends but life makes it more complicated. I’m not sure why it has to be that way but it happens.

Jesus taught us that there is no greater love than to lay ones life down for a friend. He’s a great teacher, isn’t He? I feel like that type of love is becoming more rare though. We are less child like in spirit, more complicated in emotion, and scarred from a world that can be harsh and unforgiving. The “laying down ones life” type of friendship tends to go out the window and can tend to be replaced by a more superficial kind because we just don’t have time for more in our lives. Technology, social media, and so many other things opt into our circumstances and before we know it everything is superficial.

It’s not how God intended it though. He intended friendships to be those that sharpen each other. Iron sharpens iron. We are supposed to lift one another up like those old childhood days when there was no doubt that the other would have our back when things were hard. I wish I could add to Jesus’ teaching and say that there is no greater love than to lay down ones life for a friend; and we are all friends. It can’t be true in this world though. We can’t all be friends. Life has become more innovated but more complicated. Our ease is almost like an illusion that makes me often long for the good old days when a person’s word was their word and a promise was not broken.

At the risk of rambling a bit more, I will get to my point. I’m finding that personal connection with those we call our friends is becoming more and more rare. Maybe its just me. I can’t say. I do know one thing though. I would much rather talk to someone’s voice than to see their fake smiley face on my phone or computer any day of the week.

Just sayin’

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries