This is love in friendship: When you never have to ever guess as to whether someone truly cared. When life throws a wrench in the works, they are there seeking out how you are. When it comes to defending you, there is no question in their mind that they will. Love stays regardless of time or distance. Love remains regardless of circumstances or trials. Love heals, regardless of who is involved and who is not. Love forgives, no matter how much it hurts or how it all happened. Love is a gift from God, not something someone plays with for a while and then leaves…
Love in friendship is a special kind of love; a bond that automatically states, “I have your back and I will stand with you no matter what the cost.” There is a huge difference between having someone’s back and stabbing someone in the back when they are down. Having someone’s back means even if it will cost something desired the friend comes first and not the other way around.
Love pursues, not to prove someone’s “rightness” or “wrongness” but to state “I am sorry” when someone is wronged and to fix it. Sometimes fixing things means going against the current or correcting the action by reversing it. Love understands or tries to understand the other’s point of view and gives it validation even if it is not agreed upon. Love makes things right when actions have created a wrong. Then love lets it all go…
Out of all of the things that remain, the love of God will be there when others pull back and create a breach that hurts in the heart. The heart will heal, but a breach left unsettled will always remain a breach.
When something is concealed, it is hidden from human exposure. Concealing occurs to keep others from knowing something, either for our protection or for someone else’s destruction. Weapons are not always material. Sometimes they are hidden truths about ourselves we don’t want to expose. Often for our perceived protection, these also can bring just as much destruction once they are revealed.
When a person conceals things from others around them, they are not hiding anything. Every single item is exposed eventually. The fallout is hard, depending upon how long it was concealed. I know how much this hurts others. I’ve had things hidden from me. When they were discovered, the pain of the revelation was so much worse than the original issue.
Deeds concealed, justified by our inner thinking, can be worse than a real weapon because the fallout will kill the inner being of another person. When a wrong deed is done to someone, it hurts. When it is concealed and exposed, it kills. Let me explain. We all have soul scars and boundaries. Soul scars are not so great. They are covered over wounds that are also concealed, but often even to ourselves. When a concealed deed hits the soul scar of another person, the result is the opening of the wound. This makes the exposed act worse than a real shot in the stomach. It bleeds out all of the inner injuries from before and multiplies the effect of what was revealed.
Humans can’t stand exposure. It reveals something terrible about their character. Even worse, they blame the very person they hurt because they often don’t want to take responsibility. This is a “garden of Eden” situation. Adam and Eve concealed the weapon they disobeyed God. Once revealed, the painful part of the exposure was so much worse than if they had just been honest about it. They suffered the consequences for many generations over and over.
Yet, God covered them. This does not mean God made it alright to conceal things. They suffered greatly. They were forgiven, but the fallout from their concealed weapon was more than they bargained for. Adam had to toil and work hard for a living that God had previously gifted to him. Eve had to have painful childbirth women still experience today. Childbirth is a joyful experience, but like everything else that is birthing, it comes with pain and sorrow.
This is the fallout of the concealed weapon. Information is discovered about it, and the bullet causes pain for years to follow. What is even worse, we often don’t take responsibility for our own things we purposefully hide. We tend to justify as to why it is right. Believe me; it is never right. Concealed weapons will even bite its owner. Remember the snake in the garden of Eden story? The snake struck the heel of humans. It’s a snake bite that can hurt for a long time. The good news is the snake was also stomped upon. Although the pain of the bite was present, the victory is in the truth.
Symbolically Adams’ crushing of the snakes head stands for victory when truth wins out. This only comes from the love of God when covering happens. Don’t mistake covering for concealing. Every deed is exposed in the light of God. Covering occurs when, after exposure, repentance and forgiveness occurs. God will never help us hide our weapons. God’s desire is for us to walk uprightly and free. We can not be open when we conceal our guns. If we think so, we are kidding ourselves. The only way to freedom is through exposure.
First we have to face our own inner concealed weapons. Then expose them through speaking the truth about them. Repent, be sorry for hiding things from others that we know would hurt them if they knew. Then take the discipline and the lesson that comes from concealing and hiding something. It might be hard to take, but its better than God exposing it for us later. Sometimes we are unwilling to face our own demons, so to speak. It’s much better than God’s light shining upon them for everyone to see. Don’t allow concealed weapons to kill others and yourself. Take the fallout now and confess your gun. It is so much easier now than allowing God to pull it out and shine a light upon it.
I remember this in a previous relationship. God exposed infidelity. The wound for me was crushing, but the exposure for the other was so much worse than anything I might have felt. It was exposed openly for everyone to see. Do you want this for yourself or others? Maybe its time to pull out our weapons and lay them down at the feet of the One who knows it all anyway. Even more, expose it before it gets told for you. This is done out of love. It might not seem like it, but it is. God never wants His creation to have to carry such a heavy responsibility. It takes a lot of heavy lifting to keep those weapons concealed. One will build upon another. Confess it all, and deal with what you need to deal with. In the long run, your life will be so much lighter!
Passing by a mother with two little girls I could not help but witness one little girl bumping into the other. She had lost her footing and suddenly there was a scream of discontent everyone within a range could hear. “You hurt me!” She began to cry, her face turned red, and became angry, looking for a way to lash out. Of course the first thing that happened is she turned to “mom”. Mom was busy looking at things on a shelf in the store so she did not witness what had happened. She only took the word of the one who was crying. It was met with, “Leave your sister alone. ” Mom had a scornful look on her face. I wanted to say something. After all, I was a witness. It was not intentional hurt, just an accident. I had to tell myself not to get involved. I’m sure “mom” would not have wanted to hear it from a stranger. (My thoughts on this changed later).
My point here is, sometimes we think someone hurt us with ill intention. Could it be that it was not meant to happen but just an accident or something that could not have been controlled? Some things are not within our control, like sudden illness or a difficult event that happens in our families. Other moments might be an emotional issue that is just misunderstood and then someone is left hurt, bruised, and upset. The little girls in the store had an advantage though. One screamed she was hurt. Often we don’t do that when it is an emotional issue or a time we might feel slighted or misunderstood. It happens to everyone. How could it not? We are all different people with different ways of seeing things. More often than not, the hurt one does not express how they feel, so nothing gets solved and there is no understanding. Even worse, they express how they feel and it is met with a hurtful reply or it it is ignored. Just like the mother in the store, often we don’t want to look at things or even take the time to make them better. The sad thing is that a little honest communication can go a long way.
Communication is so important because its the only way to solve an issue or to discover the intention behind what has occured. It also gives an opportunity for a healing event. It’s an opportunity for the one who hurt the other to say they are sorry. Sometimes we just don’t know because the intention was not to hurt anyone. A huge “I am sorry”, can heal so much. It’s very simple. Even if the intention was not to hurt anyone, someone still can be very hurt none the less. This all seems so elementary when I write it, but I see it over and over again. Hurt is hurt and should be addressed. In the same respect it is very disturbing to try to make things better but the other party or parties won’t give the opportunity. That is where forgiveness comes in handy.
When I think back about the two little girls, I wish I had said something. After all, I knew it was not intentional. My involvement might have been welcomed or not, but either way at least the one who had the accidental trip would have benefited from a little grace. I think it’s so simple. People don’t need to figure each other out. These are things we are supposed to learn in our grammar school days.
When you hurt someone say you are sorry.
Don’t assume the hurt was intentional.
Be open to communication.
Take responsibility for what happened no matter what the intention.
Don’t meet an honest expression of hurt with more hurt.
Be an ambassador for peace and do everything possible to pursue it with others.
Maybe you can come up with some of your own. For some reason when we become adults we get amnesia concerning how to act with one another. We might all be different but there is one thing that never changes; we are all human. These are issues that work the same with everyone.
No doubt we live in a world that is filled with so many diverse people and personalities. In all honesty, this is what makes life worth living and exploring. We are “about” relationship. Without others there is no true evolution of our souls or healing of our scars. Keeping this in mind, there is one real truth that tends to bring grace, mercy, and understanding to the difficult personality.
Here it is. Are you ready? People act out of their own personal pain from the inside and they project it outward toward a person or situation that they feel is unfavorable. Usually it all comes out in anger or blame. Some people are consumed with their anger and resentment. Have you ever met the “perpetual walking bad mood”? They are difficult to say the least.
The real truth is, the walking bad mood has deep scars that create a vacuum or blockage for anything that resembles peace and harmony in life. They appear to just project their bad mood outward but what they really are doing is revealing their own personal pain. This might be on a very unconscious level, even unknown to them as to why they act or feel the way they do.
Do you know a person or people like this? Let me give you some insight as to how to deal with them. It’s more like how to “see” them. Their outer expressions are much more revealing than anyone truly thinks.
First of all know and understand that people act out of their personal pain. Someone who is difficult to deal with most likely has an unconscious mind that is driving on auto pilot and they have no idea why they are as difficult as they are.
See the God part within them. This is not as hard to do as it seems. Just believing we all were created in the image of God helps to reveal to us the great parts of difficult human beings
See them through God’s eyes. You have God living within you. Consciously remind yourself that the part of you that inhabits God can look through your eyes and see spiritually, intuitively, and soulfully, the truth about any human being.
Don’t return anger for anger. This only multiplies the anger that is already there. The Bible tells us that a soft answer will turn away wrath. This is truth. We can turn someone’s angry day into a better one just by being more positive and loving toward someone who is hard to be around.
Know we all struggle. You struggle, I struggle, and everyone struggles. We all have soul scars from this life we have led and we all project them onto others whether we intend to or not. We are in this together. We all have been humanly flawed.
Remember we carry God in our inner temple. We are now the temple of God who dwells within us and there is nothing more powerful than this truth in our lives. That power can be used anytime, anywhere, and with anyone. All you need is to believe and have faith in that power to heal and deal with another in order to do so.
Affirm: “I choose to see past the difficulty in other’s lives and actions, knowing we all struggle with them, and see the God part of each person. Because I know the truth about their actions and that God lives inside of all of us, I can be at peace with them. I have the power from God within me to overcome my own struggles and handle others as well. I see their expressions of difficulty and anger as the hurts that were formed inside of them as they have lived their lives. I wish and pray for them healing in the midst of the storms of life. I pray them healed and made whole. I choose to see their beauty and the treasure that they are no matter how difficult they become. What I focus on becomes bigger, so their beauty outshines any difficulty they might present.”
Ask God for the eyes of compassion in all things and you will know and understand how to handle any or all difficult issues with others.