Were You Intentionally Hurt?

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Passing by a mother with two little girls I could not help but witness one little girl bumping into the other. She had lost her footing and suddenly there was a scream of discontent everyone within a range could hear. “You hurt me!” She began to cry, her face turned red, and became angry, looking for a way to lash out. Of course the first thing that happened is she turned to “mom”.  Mom was busy looking at things on a shelf in the store so she did not witness what had happened. She only took the word of the one who was crying. It was met with, “Leave your sister alone. ” Mom had a scornful look on her face. I wanted to say something. After all, I was a witness. It was not intentional hurt, just an accident. I had to tell myself not to get involved. I’m sure “mom” would not have wanted to hear it from a stranger. (My thoughts on this changed later).

My point here is, sometimes we think someone hurt us with ill intention. Could it be that  it was not meant to happen but just an accident or something that could not have been controlled? Some things are not within our control, like sudden illness or a difficult event that happens in our families. Other moments might be an emotional issue that is just misunderstood and then someone is left hurt, bruised, and upset. The little girls in the store had an advantage though. One screamed she was hurt. Often we don’t do that when it is an emotional issue or a time we might feel slighted or misunderstood. It happens to everyone. How could it not? We are all different people with different ways of seeing things. More often than not, the hurt one does not express how they feel, so nothing gets solved and there is no understanding. Even worse, they express how they feel and it is met with a hurtful reply or it it is ignored. Just like the mother in the store, often we don’t want to look at things or even take the time to make them better. The sad thing is that a little honest communication can go a long way.

Communication is so important because its the only way to solve an issue or to discover the intention behind what has occured. It also gives an opportunity for a healing event. It’s an opportunity for the one who hurt the other to say they are sorry. Sometimes we just don’t know because the intention was not to hurt anyone. A huge “I am sorry”, can heal so much. It’s very simple. Even if the intention was not to hurt anyone, someone still can be very hurt none the less. This all seems so elementary when I write it, but I see it over and over again. Hurt is hurt and should be addressed. In the same respect it is very disturbing to try to make things better but the other party or parties won’t give the opportunity. That is where forgiveness comes in handy.

When I think back about the two little girls, I wish I had said something. After all, I knew it was not intentional. My involvement might have been welcomed or not, but either way at least the one who had the accidental trip would have benefited from a little grace. I think it’s so simple. People don’t need to figure each other out. These are things we are supposed to learn in our grammar school days.

When you hurt someone say you are sorry.

Don’t assume the hurt was intentional.

Be open to communication.

Take responsibility for what happened no matter what the intention.

Don’t meet an honest expression of hurt with more hurt.

Be an ambassador for peace and do everything possible to pursue it with others.

Maybe you can come up with some of your own. For some reason when we become adults we get amnesia concerning how to act with one another. We might all be different but there is one thing that never changes; we are all human. These are issues that work the same with everyone.

Loving you from here

Dr Jenine Marie Howry

Here Is Your Weekly Wisdom!

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You will never completely arrive. Life is a learning process. It’s a transformation that will continue through all of your life. Give yourself a break. 

This is a message to be easy on yourself. Sometimes we get so caught up on judging ourselves and every move we make.  If you make a mistake, acknowledge it, and then move forward and do it better next time. Give yourself grace. God does! Give to yourself everything God desires for you. Compassion, forgiveness, unconditional love, and empathy.

Today, and always, you are a warrior. You have been born into this world innocent and have taken on the mess this world has dealt you. As people, we tend to suck in everything thrown at us and then spend so much time working on healing it. Be brave enough to heal a little bit every day. Your life matters. You matter. There is no place you go where grace does not follow you. You can not release the tight hold God has on you and for you. There is no way to dump His image within you. You might as well accept that you are a miracle and worthy of healing, hope, and happiness!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries LLC 

Here is Your Weekly Wisdom!

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8) Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 

9) But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:8-9 
Paul knew the power of uncompromising grace from God. He understood when he was weak there was a transfer through his faith in Christ that occurred. When we put aside our flesh or ego self, and place our faith in Christ who lives within us, it gives us power to live in God’s grace.
The ultimate healing is experiencing life through Christ light within us from the inside out. Easier said than done. It takes faith and belief in the knowledge of Who lives within us.
Affirm: Today, I place my self aside and all of the troubles that go with my struggles and change my perception. I will focus on the Christ light inside of me and not on the issues I deal with in this world, my emotions, in my mind, and in my body. To God be all the glory for His lavish grace and power He will bestow upon me today!
Loving you from here!
Dr. Jenine Marie Howry
Added video The Mystery of God’s Powerful Grace and Favor!

Moments of Decision’s Past

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Some moments in time are like dividing lines between seasons of learning, maturing, and growing. Think of those moments where your decisions might have been a bit more wise, clear, and spiritually discerning. Mind you, we don’t live in the past, but we should reflect on it in order to learn. Over the last few weeks I have been in a mode where even in my dreams my past decisions have been looming up in front of me. It’s amazing how the thoughts of possible upcoming trials can spin us into moments of evaluation.

It’s good to evaluate. It brings clarity into our lives and sometimes we even see the gift that resides within what we deem as mistakes. Remember, whatever choices you made in the past were the right ones for the moment according to where you were in maturity, understanding, and faith. There is nothing that grows us up faster than what we see as a wrong decision. Putting things in perspective, there is never really a wrong decision. It is just a decision. The label of “wrong” is something we place upon ourselves out of judgement.

Judgement comes from criticism and thinking something is below or beneath us. Observation comes with logic from the mind and spiritual grace with discernment. Remember when evaluating the past or even the present, to do so as “the observer” and not “the judge and jury”. God’s grace is sufficient to cover us in all of our decisions regardless to how we tend to label them, Often we are concerned about others judgment of us, when we are usually the greatest judge of ourselves. After all, others tend to mirror back to us what is within us anyway. Its like looking into a clear still lake when watching others and seeing our reflection.

When bringing up things of the past that you have deemed as “wrong” decisions, remember to:

First be kind to yourself and understand where you were in mentality and growth at the moment.

Make a list of those things you believe you could have done better.

Look at your list with the spirit of observation not judgement.

Rip up the list or shred it and say good-bye to all of the perceived mistakes you have made in life.

Go out into the breezy sunlight and allow the warmth to radiate on your face. Let the breeze remind you that your life has moved on. (Use a fan and close your eyes if there is no breeze)! 

Be grateful for the experience and laugh over the humor in some of the ways things used to be. Be thankful you are in this place of understanding today. God is always good! 

All things must be dealt with in the open and brought into the Light of God in order to deal with them and heal from them. Seeing them as learning experiences will release you from the bondage of being a mistake. Thank yourself and God for the lesson! Remember your shift in understanding is a creative miracle! Allow the emotional part of all of it be healed in the presence of God’s Spirit!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry

Jenine Marie Coachng and Ministries LLC 

The Dirty Little Secret

IMG_20170904_140736_219I can’t wait for you to watch this video because I feel deep in my heart that the church and people of God are coming to a place of new understanding. This is to walk in the grace of God and not judgement or pointing fingers. Our position as the Body of Christ is not to judge others but to love them as Christ loves us. The church is a driving force here on earth in order to push back the darkness. She is not to be the darkness but to be the light of Jesus Christ. God bless you in your hearing!

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries 

 

When Differing Opinions Set Us Apart

IMG_2636.JPGSomeone I knew a long time ago used to say “Opinions are like people’s behinds, everyone has one”. (I cleaned it up a bit for this post). It’s true. We all have an opinion and we could never ever possibly agree all of the time. The cool thing about our country is that we have freedom of speech and voicing our opinions is a real privilege. We should value that privilege because many don’t have it and we also might learn from others.

Our differences should not divide us but inspire us to consider more. Maybe they should inspire us to consider other possible ways of thinking or even believing. When differences are excessive, then we might be way too different to hang around one another and setting ourselves apart is usually necessary. Sometimes our differences can just be one opinion or another though. Shutting those out will deny ourselves the gift of who we are  to one another and also in learning from each other.

I’m so blessed when people don’t delete me when I am struggling because I might need someones opinion. But when they do delete me they deny themselves the ability to be a gift to someone else’s pain. Trivial differences should be let go and we can agree to disagree. Its only when our disagreements have become excessive that we should consider setting ourselves apart. Or maybe if someone is hurting us and it is self preservation to keep them from doing so. Purposefully confrontational people can drag us into the mud very fast and zap our energy.

Personally, I’ve had to distance myself from those whose opinions become domineering and therefore hurtful to me. Or, sometimes I take the hint and back off when I think there are too many issues that can not be resolved. Yet, for those where there are only minor differences of opinion I tend to stick around to learn from one another. We can’t all be the same all of the time or we might end up doing a remake of that old movie “The Stepford Wives” and just become robots or clones of one another.

I don’t like to see people alone and hurting and I sure don’t like to be the one who is dumped onto the side lines of someone’s life over minor things because it DOES hurt.

Sooner or later we need to realize that God gives us the power and strength to be strong for others when they are weaker or even in the face of disagreement. Life is not a race against each other, it is a race we run with God for the regeneration of our soul. During Jesus’ time the outcasts used to be set outside of the city because they did not measure up according to the law. If their sinfulness was adultery they were stoned to death.

I like Jesus’ response regarding a woman who was caught in adultery. “Let he/she who is without sin cast the first stone.”

Love you anyway,

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

(Yep, still called even with all my bumps and lumps)