My Dream of the Experience of Intubation

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Back in August of this year, my daughter Christina had to be intubated. She had a cardiac arrest due to a heart infection. She also had Covid 19. She was unable to speak to us because she was sedated so she would not pull out her breathing tube. Every time she tried to breathe on her own, she would code and come close to dying, so it was so important she had the tube in her to help her breathe.

I wondered how necessary the intubation process was in the beginning and if it just made things worse. I don’t know if I will ever completely have that answer, but a dream I had, gave me a very vivid look at what intubation felt like for my daughter. When I was working on my doctoral dissertation, my subject matter was about dream interpretation and the work of Carl Jung. Carl Jung used archetypes to interpret dreams that served as symbolism for what a dream might mean now in a subject’s life. I did not need the use of interpretation. My dream of intubation was very clear, easy to remember, and extremely detailed. I’m going to detail it here because I am sure I’m not the only one who would like to know what my dying daughter might have experienced.

In my dream, I was lying on a table. My vision was blurred, and there were people all around me with blue gowns on and some with white. I remember feeling like my eyes were tearing up. It’s like I wanted to sneeze, but no way could a sneeze happen. My mouth was open, and my throat was highly blocked and dry. I saw a vision of a toilet paper roll and heard my daughter’s voice. She said, “The tube feels like a dry toilet paper roll stuffed down the throat.” I saw and heard her very clearly.

I remember trying to swallow and wanted to take it out. The feeling was very uncomfortable. The people around me were talking about putting something else down my throat. I am assuming a ventilator to help my lungs expand and breathe for me. I wanted to shake my head “no” and could feel my eyes tearing up as they discussed more ventilation. I “knew” inside that I would not be coming back to the world as I was before.

I stopped thinking about it in my dream. Why even consider the situation? It was already determined what the outcome was going to be. My heart felt like it was broken inside and out, but then there was an awakening. I woke from what felt like a dream and into a place of peace and light. The light was so bright I could no longer see the people around me. Suddenly, I felt like I could breathe independently, although my situation had physically not changed. I believe I was no longer in my body and just watching.

I know this is a scenario that is repeatedly replayed when people feel they have died and come back to life to talk about it. The death they are speaking about is not death but a transition to a new form of life. My daughter did not come back to physical life, but she is also not dead. When dreams are as real and vivid as mine was, we can be assured it was a real experience for the purpose of “knowing.

For the second time, I woke up, and my head was back with my mouth completely open. The first time was during a meditation that left me awakening the same way. I believe my daughter wanted me to know how she felt in the hospital and how she is feeling now. I know this sounds far-fetched to some people, but those who have transitioned into spirit can communicate to us through dreams. I am very meditative and receptive, so I know my dream was a real message from her, and I can be assured she is fine after her difficult experience.

Our dreams can send us clear messages from those in spirit. If they are actual messages, they are as I described. The vision will be clear, descriptive, and easy to remember. If the dream is filled with symbolism, it becomes like a treasure to be excavated and interpreted. So many messages and a lot of healing can come from our dreams. All we need to do is ask for them, pay attention to them, and interpret what we remember of them. They reach us with surprises from a realm we often go through life not acknowledging. We should, though. It is a realm of love and beauty ready to give us messages and wisdom we are aching to receive.

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph.D.

JenineMarie.com

Are You Privately Living With Regrets?

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Every time this year, when a new year is approaching, we tend to think about resolutions. Either we want to lose weight, make more money, spend less, or travel more. It can be just about anything. Sometimes they are the very same resolutions we made last year only to find we fell very short of accomplishing what our goals were or are.

As I pondered the upcoming New Year and what I really want it to look like, some very unexpected thoughts entered into me. It was like I took a time travel back to when I cared for those much older than I; most of them dying. I recalled working on my doctoral dissertation on dream interpretation as well. Part of the dissertation was dedicated to dreams and also desires by those who were sick and dying. I know this could sound like I am approaching a morbid subject but actually I’m not, so stick with me.

Thinking about both my experiences ,and also my research, I began to remember vividly some of the things that were expressed as people were getting ready to enter into their next phase of living outside of the body. I’m convinced our spirit is alive and never ever dies, just as God is alive. Whatever your thoughts on this is beside the point. Let me move on. As I closed my eyes, my thoughts were filled with statements of regret that I heard over and over again. Some of them in person, some I heard of, and some I studied. Most were all the same. I’m going to list some of them here:

  1. I wish I took better care of myself while I had the chance.
  2. I should have told her/him “I love you” but was either afraid or negligent.
  3. I never realized just how fast time would go and I should have taken more time for what is really important.
  4. The office should not have been my top priority.
  5. My spiritual/devotional life could have been better and stronger.
  6. I could have made the choice to be more kind in circumstances and now I can’t change the aftershock.
  7. I should have considered my choices just a little more before I made them. I might have made a different choice had I thought things through more.
  8. I wish I had spent more time with my family instead of being busy, I could have been busy with them.
  9. Why didn’t I say, “I am sorry”? It could have healed the issue but my pride was in the way.
  10. I never took the time to enjoy the beauty of this earth. My mind and actions were always on things that really don’t matter now.

Maybe you can think of some for yourself. Close your eyes and imagine for a moment that today is the last day of your life. What would you greatly regret if you were leaving this earth today? Now, remember, you have time today, tonight, and hopefully tomorrow. Who needs to know you love them? What are you sorry for but have never expressed it to someone? Where have you always wanted to go? Who is the most important person to you and have you neglected them? Who has been there for you every single time but you never seem to say, “Thank you”.

If you were leaving your body tonight, think about it, would you have some regrets? I have watched tears falling down the faces of elderly people and some younger, while stating, “I never saw the Grand Canyon.” “I should have taken better care of myself because I might have more time with my loved ones had I done that.” “I wish I had not caused _______ so much pain and never healed it with them.”

This upcoming New Year as you consider your resolutions, maybe also consider if you have been silently living with regrets. They tend to come to the surface when faced with our mortality. Let them come now, with tears, with healing, and then with action. Don’t live another day with what you might regret tomorrow. Live in love, but love yourself first by honoring what is right, what is honest, what is your heart’s desire, and what love speaks to your heart. Then thank yourself. You are worth it.

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

Your Weekly Wisdom: By Comparison

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Could we be anymore flooded with images of what we should be or need to be? Who decided when we are supposed to make certain landmarks in our lives and what our value is or isn’t if we don’t? What about our choices? For instance, why is a woman looked at strange if she chooses to not have children in her life?

I remember back in my old undergraduate days studying statistics in social sciences. Society creates these “norms” for living life. For some reason we are supposed to adhere to them or we are looked upon as deviant. The hard part about trying to live up to society’s norms is we all have a different idea of achievement and what that means to us. We also have different ideas about what is beautiful in a person. Some look on the outside. The more wise, I think, look on the inside.

So who is society? The answer is us; we are. Then if we are those who are not “boat rockers” we want to go with the flow of what the majority thinks we should or should not do. We go with what the majority puts out there how we should or should not look, act, create, succeed. The list can be long. If we are those who are not comfortable in our own life’s skin we will begin to compare ourselves to those, we think, or believe are. If we are not apt to step up to the plate to make change. We will compare ourselves to those who we believe or think are more impressive. There are a lot of reasons we might think we missed the boat if comparison is the way we live our lives. Stick to the public’s norm and be happy? I don’t think so. Look like someone else and be admired and confident? I highly doubt it. Achieve what someone else has achieved and be satisfied with our lives? Not likely.

Living life by comparison is a very self defeating way to live. I am not sure why we always tend to think that life is greener in someone else’s bank account, marriage, family, business, or clothing size.  If you are one who finds yourself living in this way, I am willing to bet you suffer from self esteem issues. How can anyone think highly of themselves if they are not looking at their lives as they truly are meant to be? How can there be gratitude and acceptance? No one can keep up with living for someone else, not even for societies poorly thought out norms.

The only way anyone can be truly happy is to learn to carve their own path. This week, look at your outer shell with admiration. Your body got you through a lot of things in life. See what you have as plenty. Many have a lot less than you do. Respect your bank account. If you have some funds in it then you have a lot more than nothing. Admire your life’s choices. Good or bad, you chose them, and that makes them important. I challenge you this week to not live by comparison. It’s a lonely, empty, self defeating place to be. Branch out and be truly who you are. There is no duplicate in the world who is like you, so don’t try to duplicate yourself to be like anyone else!

Loving you from here,

Dr Rev Jenine Marie Howry

So, How Do You Turn Your Life Around?

God-creating-the-galaxy-via-ShutterstockFrom the very beginning of time, God created! Our fabulous, amazing, and miraculous universe was created with God’s imagination and His spoken words. Honestly, I don’t think that the mere words on paper to describe this spectacular event is even enough to get a grasp of it’s power. Our God is not only loving but powerful!.

Through the acts of Christ, we have received God’s mighty loving and powerful Spirit who dwells in us and can work through us all. The only thing that limits us is our lack of belief that it is true. Belief is a powerful thing, amen? So, I suppose then we can also conclude that our conscious belief is powerful enough to create as a partner with God from the inside out. If He lives in us, then we can believe in his ability to transform not only our insides but also our outer life. Isn’t that what He wants for us? He has told us that His greatest desire above all else is for us to prosper, to have a future, and to have hope. Jesus Himself told His disciples, and us, that we will do greater things than even He had shown us.

Conscious creation is not exactly a new thing because spiritualists have been doing it for the longest time. The only problem I have seen with it is the tendency to leave Jesus out of it. This is unfortunate because He is our Savior and “the way”. Jesus is God, and the Biblical account of His human existence is so valuable in learning how to live our own lives  for the betterment of humanity.

We have seen that the spoken word is powerful! God tells us to dwell on His word because to do so will create the wonderful life He wants to give to us! His word is life!

Therefore, in knowing that what we dwell on and what we speak, creates life, then why not use this knowledge to create the best life ever? After all, the greatest Creator ever lives within us, is working in is, is creating in us, and can speak through us as well! Why not speak the very best, dwell on the very best, and live the very best life we can? Who would want it any other way?  Think of this; our house where we live is called “our dwelling”. Our created life comes from the God who lives inside of us and outside of us. When we dwell in that living water of love, power, beauty, and joy, then that is the life we live in. Is life hard at times? Oh my gosh, yes! But can we turn it around and make it better no matter what the outside life throws at us? You bet!

Let’s try it today:

Father, I know You live in me, and that You create good things inside of me and outside of me. Your nature is goodness and love, so therefore my nature is goodness and love as well. All that is needed is that I believe in You, Your nature, Your love and in the Salvation Jesus came to show me. I will dwell in goodness and therefore goodness and mercy will be mine now and the rest of my life, In Jesus’ powerful name, heart, and Spirit, amen!

Does that feel real great to you? If so, then maybe this can be the practice that pulls you through those hard times. Meditate on God’s word. His power will be with you to create and to succeed in the good things He wants for you!

Creatively Yours,

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

Jenine Marie Coaching

** Much gratitude for conversations with those whom I have attracted into my life for the betterment of my life!

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