Sometimes We Just Need to Be Heard

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I began this blog a bit more than 4 years ago. It was because expression, communication, and my voice are always my strong place. I might seem unassuming to those who first meet me but don’t mistake my quiet presentation at first glance, as one of a shy demeanor. I’ve learned there are moments to be silent and times when rockets need to flare out of my mouth because the subject matter is just that important to me. Bottom line, if its important its going to get expression from me. It might not win a popularity contest for me but I’ve come to a point in life where having the integrity to stick to my boundaries out weighs anyone’s thoughts about me.

I have thought about the reasons I often speak the way I do, and at the times that I do. I’ve learned the answer from having sessions with my clients. There are times when we need to be heard or our guts will pour out, fall out, or even explode out. We sure don’t want the latter! The human heart needs expression just like an artist needs a canvas and paint. Our expression is our paint and the subject is our canvass. Sometimes I know I paint with precision and others I know I need to splash the paint all over and in every direction. Its all expression. Without it and without being heard, we are a bottle with a cork stuck in it ready to give way any moment.

Nothing is more frustrating or more degrading than to speak and not be heard. Its like sound that bounces off of a piece of stone and floods right back into the gut. It creates a sort of tidal wave inside of me when this happens. Being heard is important but being heard and understood is even more important. I am not talking about agreement. I am talking about understanding. I truly feel that understanding is one of the greatest gifts that can be given over to communication. Talking to someone who will not hear or understand is like talking to a brick wall. Very frustrating. I’d like to take a battering ram and create a break in the brick in those cases. Hearing and understanding is a part of compassion within communication.

I like to speak my mind, that’s for sure. Even if no one wants to hear it. Even if no one agrees with me. Even if there is no compassion or caring. There are moments when expression needs to convert to communication. If you have no one to communicate with, consider a pouring out session with me. I kid you not, you will feel so much better. Listening and hearing are two other things that are my best friends within communication skills. A lot can come to light and more understanding even if its just to hear yourself express your thoughts. You would be amazed at what the unconscious mind will feed into your conversation.

If you need to communicate, let me hear you, “Sign me up”! Don’t allow your stuff to become an exploding volcano. Take it easy on your body and allow tears to flow but more than that allow communication to flow like a river. Illumination will come from it and compassion will be the gift you can receive.

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, Phd

832-484-8306  (for your venting and your need for someone to hear)

Blessed Are They Who Can Keep it Confidential

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This is not exactly a bible verse. It’s just kind of an offtake of the beatitudes. I think it’s an important subject though. I don’t know why, but humans seem to have this compulsion to talk about things that really don’t pertain to them. I think maybe it is so we can take our eyes off of our own issues for awhile. For some, it might be to feel better about themselves. Regardless of the reason, we do it; we talk about things we have no business discussing with others.

Confidentiality is a real blessing. When we have been blessed with those who keep our issues confidential we have an established trust that is not only rare but a rare treasure. For the ones who keep confidential, it is a double blessing. Those who can keep others thoughts, feelings, issues, and life events private are truly blessed. They are those who others can go to when they feel the need to discuss something with someone. Being someone who others can trust is an honor.

As a counselor, I am bound to confidentiality. Trust is a must or I would not be a very good one. As a hypnotherapist trust is even more important because I deal with the unconscious mind of another human being. Personally, I love those I can go to when life is harder than it should be. I can vent, get upset, say things I really don’t mean, and then settle into solutions without the fear of it being passed along or judgement. It’s a rare find to have those types of people in our lives. Its even a better feeling to be one of those that others can vent with without fear of being exposed or judged.

When someone comes to me to “talk”, I’m all ears, and not mouth. Someone who needs to talk usually just needs to vent. Its so important to do this because it can harm our bodies if we keep it all inside of us. It’s even more important to know that the ground we spill out on will be solid and honorable. This means we know that the other person or people will not share what we just shared. Like I said, sometimes we vent, and often don’t mean what we say. We just need to get it out. Sometimes we vent and we need some input. It’s always a blessing to have someone else’s opinion without it being mandatory we do it “their way”.

Being trustable, like I have stated, is an honor. Even if we are not someone who is held to laws for confidentiality it is a gift to be someone trustable. To be able to hold in our hands and hearts the deepest thoughts, feelings, and struggles of another is a gift to be proud of. In a world where gossip prevails and where people tend to assume they know and then pass things around, it is wonderful to be gifted with someone trustable.

Be that person! Be trustable and establish the type of trust that will be a gift to others. Not everything needs to be opened up like a can of worms and exposed to others. Sometimes it is best to watch life unfold without an opinion or having to add our thoughts to what others are doing. Sometimes observing life is better than talking about it. This also builds trust. Talking about it just judges it and therefore judges others. It has a domino effect and tends to cause others to judge as well because they hear it.

Blurting out what we know is not always just merely being honest. It also is being untrustable. Unless we have the go-ahead to talk about a subject then our mouths really should be shut. Or, unless we have an issue to spill out to a trustable listening ear, we should keep it to ourselves. We are all here for one another but that does not mean we all understand how to hold someone else’s treasure in our hands. Building trust is just that; building. Creating a firm foundation with others takes time. Don’t ever assume that others should just trust you. If they see or hear you blurting out things all over the place you are not the first person they will go to when they need a listening ear.

Silence can be golden. Do you know what I mean? Practice sacred silence by holding issues to yourself for a change. Don’t be so easy to spill the beans all over the place. Trust is sacred and if you are trustable you are sacred as well.

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry.

Do You Live According to Other’s Expectations?

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Expectations from others are hard to keep up with. Everyone has a different opinion of who or what we might be. This is hard for those who are people pleasing types. It can cause our thoughts to go one way, and then the next, creating a great deal of confusion on our life’s journey. What is really happening when people place expectations upon you is, they are wanting you to live or think the way they do. The problem with this is we don’t always agree with each other.

When someone expects something of us or for us to be a certain way, they are looking outside of themselves inside of inside. We get into a mess when trying to control our outer environment, especially people. When we accept their expectation and change then that person has controlled us and who we are. They are also empowered in a way they should not be. No one should determine who or what we are.

The hard thing is most people want to please others or make them happy. So, we end up adjusting to their desires so we can see that happen. This does not serve anyone. What does serve us is to be just exactly who and what we are with all the bumps, scars, and bruises that we have obtained along the way. Our lives might not be perfect, but they are still ours to be in command of.

To keep from adhering to other’s expectations, take an inventory of what you want in your life and who you truly want to be. If any of the things you come up with are different than what others expect, then set your intention to be empowered as to what you desire and not swayed by other’s ideas. We were all made unique and imperfect. We are meant to be that way. Don’t try to live up to someone’s sense of perfection. We can’t do it anyway, so why try?

Be who you are. Right now. Take the step and take that inventory. If you need help discovering and going over what that might be, then book a session with me! I would love to help you escape the habit of adhering to other people’s expectations. We are not clones of each other. Can you believe that you can be anything you want or desire to be? If you can’t answer this question as a yes, then it is time to talk and get straight with yourself on your life plan, who you are, and what you truly want out of life. We need to make it solid, so you won’t be swayed! I can help you do this if you are open to accepting assistance with it! If not me, then choose someone to be accountable to! You will thank yourself in the days and years to come. Riding someone else’s horseless carriage will never get you where you want to go. Only your own vehicle can do that!

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry

 

Do You Know the Difference Between Listening and Hearing?

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Living in a world filled with noise and distraction, its hard to remember to listen when we need to; but do we really hear? There is a huge difference between listening and hearing. Listening is what we take into our ears and process with our brains. Hearing is listening but also adding the heart, compassion, understanding, and emotion. When we hear we bring depth into our understanding of a situation or conversation. It is so important to actually hear while communicating with others. Hearing brings empathy while merely listening just transfers information.

It takes some practice if you have not been good at hearing or have not understood this. Meditation is one way to practice hearing. This is because we have to divert the thoughts running through our heads continually and draw them back into focus. A person with focus is someone who hears well. Hearing also heightens intuition. Someone who hears will intuitively know more about the conversation than just passing knowledge. We should be looking for depth in conversation not just making noise.

You will find your relationships will improve by practicing hearing. That means we honor the other with our whole self and not just our mind. We hear with our heart, compassion, empathy and understanding. So many are misunderstood because of merely passing knowledge and not truly hearing another in a conversation.

Your love life alone will improve just by becoming someone who hears well. Hearing brings honor. It means we are taking the time to truly pay attention with every part of us. In that way we honor others while we are conversing with them. If you really want to show someone they have value to you, then do more than listen. Truly hear with your heart. We are meant to have depth as people. Once again, this takes practice. Sometimes we don’t even realize how little heart we put into our conversations with others, especially in a world filled with technology that can be so impersonal.

Challenge yourself to be personal! Be a person who hears and not someone who merely listens! Watch how much your relationships will improve. Hear to have understanding, and then communication with compassion!

Loving you from here!

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

 

Don’t Cause Your Brother, or Another to Stumble

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It’s not uncommon for me to get more than one message in a day. When I Pastored my churches I often had more messages lined up than I could give at one time! This one is so timely and important always. Being a female it always kind of bugs me that the Bible more often speaks lessons in the male personna rather than the female, but that is not what this is about.

As created people, for some reason we tend to love to pass some sort of judgement upon another. I am sure that is not what God intended for us when we were created. We are challenged daily to operate out of our higher God created self rather than our ego. The ego LOVES to point fingers, doesn’t it? Since I am on a roll here with brotherly, sisterly love and our “oneness“, another message came to mind. It’s about causing another to stumble. Meaning setting someone else up to fail in some way so they can be judged.

Oh how the ego loves this! Let’s check out and see if so and so will mess up so we can be high and superior. Let’s watch him/her FAIL. Oh my goodness. This saddens me more than most other things because it is not open hatred it is so called “justified deceitful hatred.” In the Bible, book of Romans chapter 13, Paul talks about not passing judgement on our brother and to not set up or put up a stumbling block in his way. This is simple to figure out. Don’t stick something in front of someone just to test them to see if they will fall for it and fail. Then they can be judged or punished in some way?

Let me give you an example from my life:

Before I was married I dated a so called “Christian man” who said he had become more than very fond of me. Yet, I always felt like I was on trial. Oh, he did some very nice things for me, kind of under the guise of testing me. We had a serious discussion about addictions one night over dinner. I’ve never had the usual up front well known addictions. Mine tend to be strange. Like one time I got real addicted to Hostess Cupcakes. It was after my son was murdered and I felt like nothing on earth could comfort me anyway. Yet, there I was often sitting in the parking lot of a local grocery store stuffing Hostess Cupcakes in my face and crying my brains out. Was not long before things started to not fit me right. I caught myself and decided to knock it off. I lost weight, got into my usual jeans again and that was that. I had told this story to my new “friend“, (and I say that loosely). He was a recovering alcoholic and supposedly had not had a drink in quite awhile.

Soon, my birthday came up and he invited me to have a little party in a beautiful setting and play in the snow. It was lovely. When it came to the time to go inside from the cold a table was set up before me for my birthday. One “gift” was a computer printed photo of us together just cut out of computer paper and the other was a pyramid of Hostess Cupcakes set up to look like a tiered birthday cake. They were all still in the wrappers and honestly it reminded me more of the shape of a wedding cake. On the top was one that was open and had a lit candle right in the middle. Now, this might seem kind of cute at first, right?

He asked me to go ahead, blow out the candle and have one! So, not wanting to be rude, I made my wish, blew out the candle and ate my Hostess Cupcake with gratitude. I asked him if he was going to have one and he said no. I thought that was strange. After I was done, he said, “Have another one!” Can you see where this is going? He was testing me to see if I was going to be addicted to the cupcakes and keep trying to eat them! How absurd it sounds now! My “No thank-you,” was met with “Are you sure?”

Then came the other fun part. He pointed out the computer printed copy of the photo of us and asked how I liked my birthday present. I guess if he was in poverty, and honest, it might have been touching. He was only trying to get a reaction out of me, or some sort of disapproval. I told him it was sweet. As I look back, I realize the entire time I was being “tested“. He was always trying to see if I was “marrying material“. Actually, I don’t think he was marrying material for me!

I’ve often had discussions with others as to whether God “tests” us to see if we will be tempted to go for something and fail. I want to assure you right now, God does NOT do this to His created children! Seems to me the only tester and tempter was Satan in the Biblical story, so how could it be Godly? Let me give you some blessed assurance here. God never sets up His children for failure and then judge them. It is not His nature or character. Humans test each other, set up stumbling blocks and then judge and point fingers. Even worse, they punish. Believe me, this is not wisdom and it is not Godly either.

Since we live in a universe of reaping what we sow, would you want to be the one to test someone just to see them fall on their face, get angry, be hurt, or punished? I know I wouldn’t want that. But we do reap what we sow. I trust in that universal law of lovely Karma. Good ole’ Karma. We always know when she’s been around because it often feels like a slap in the face. Actually it’s a lesson to be learned.

Before you have to learn this lesson, let me spare you. Don’t set up your brother, or anyone, to stumble! Do NOT test another human being with the intent to see if you will have to punish or judge them! You might end up on the wrong side of the Karmic wheel and it won’t feel very good.

I always loved the song “Light of the World”.

“Light of the world shine on me, love is the answer. 

Shine on us all, let us see, love is the answer…” 

I hope this message is relevant. I know to many it could be. Tripping someone up is not a loving thing to do. Not in any situation. Putting someone to the test to see if they are worthy just might cause YOU to be the one who is unworthy someday when you stand in the Light of God. Don’t do it.

Loving you from here,

Dr Rev Jenine Marie Howry

Brother Against Brother, and So it Goes On…

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If you live in this world you can not help but see or hear of some of the discord or violence experienced in it. It always seems like it’s worse than it ever has been. We hear of how violence is increasing. It might be. Or maybe violence is being enacted in a different way than in the past. Who can forget the holocaust, both world wars and Pearl Harbor? Remember when Isis was all over the news or, looking back, the old wild west when guns were up front and personal?

This morning, I am reminded of the first recorded murder in the Bible when one brother killed another. It’s hard to grasp the emotion of things when we read them. Can you imagine the horror of that event? Bottom line, it does not matter what age we live in, or how violence is enacted. Through it, we see the depth of human frustration and a lack of the things that are really important. Regardless as to how anger and violence are displayed its always the same. Brother against brother, sister against sister, and friends deciding to be foes. One side wants one thing and other side wants another, so they decide to war about it. One person gets offended and then the other gets the blame. One person blames another and the other gets offended. When does it end?

This might seem a bit simplistic but it starts with you, us, them. It begins with all of us because we are one. That is if we decide to really look at things from a higher perspective. From our oneness perspective it’s hard to forget when we do something to another we have just done it to ourselves. From a higher spiritual realm when one calls a person a name they just pointed a finger at themselves. If one person is that name then we all are. Sounds pretty strange doesn’t it? When we decide to think of things this way it’s easier to not do the wrong things. Why does brother have to be against brother when they are both going to experience the same pain? Why bring that on? It confuses me. Humans should get this by now but we don’t. We still yell, “Racist!”, when there is no race but the human race. Some still murder not even realizing that the person that is now gone had a personal and spiritual impact on this world. One never knows the part they might have played in the life of the murderous person. Businesses forget to be ambassadors of peace among people instead of placing blame, causing one to continue to smolder against another. When nothing is solved then nothing is solved. Period. We are all called to be ambassadors and yet when we try, we are looked upon like it is none of our business. In truth, it’s ALL of our business! There would be NO business if it was not all of our business. Put that on a T-shirt!

I used to sit at the edge of a stream where I used to live and throw rocks into the water, watching the water span out because of the impact. This is how each of us impact our world. We are one rock, but our influence spans out among many. I remember Jesus’ words concerning the stoning of an adulterous woman, “He who is without sin, cast the first stone.” No one did. They all walked away. Had one person thrown a stone it would have affected everyone. I always wondered where the men were that the “adulterous woman” committed adultery with. Maybe that is why all of the men walked away that day. No one could stand innocent of that sin before Jesus.

I guess I should get to my point here. If we truly want harmony, then we have to be harmony. If we want love, we need to be love. If we want peace, we need to be peace. Lately, to be honest, I have gone through a mini phase of not even wanting to be out in the public. I’m an empath. I will suck in and absorb the anger, moods, depression, and conflict. So, for awhile, I decided to be love right where I am and process my own frustration before I take it out to the rest of the world. It’s hard. We are human. We get upset. We also have a choice though. We can turn that upset feeling into something new and loving if we only choose to be an ambassador instead of a conflict creator.  I sure wish more would learn this lesson.

Can I have a little mini rant? Just for a moment? STOP CHOOSING SIDES YOU ARE ON THE SAME SIDE! Always. Like it or not, we are in this together. All of us. Can we even wrap our heads around this reality? Or even better, can we wrap our hearts around it?

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry

 

Trust, and the Truth Will Reveal Itself

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As I see it, there are two kinds of truth. There is truth with a capital “T” meaning higher or divine truth. Then there is truth as in the opposite of a lie. The statement in my title is about truth with a small “t” or the opposite of a lie. Lying, deception, setting up things as if they are truth, all seem to be a harsh part of human reality. But who are we kidding here? Nothing is ever gone unseen, especially by what or Who is unseen.

I believe it was Thomas in the Bible who was told by Jesus, “Blessed is he who has not seen and yet still believes.” Jesus was talking about mystical things or divine Truth. Yet, His statement is still as profound about the opposite of a lie. Sometimes we see things and think we know what is true. Sometimes we don’t see things, and yet, there is a gut hunch as to what is true or not. Gut hunches are interesting. Not many know or understand that we are spoken to through our gut, or stomach. In fact, the stomach has neurotransmitters just like our brains do.

I love gut instinct or intuition because it gives me a hunch to go and investigate more. Over the years I have come to trust that intuition and the investigation together. When a lie presents itself I am reminded of what Naomi spoke to Ruth in the Book of Ruth in the Bible. She said, “Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens.” What she meant was, if we wait on the truth it will reveal itself. There is a real reason for this. It’s because the truth is stronger than a lie. Jesus proved this to us when He was questioned concerning his actions and His identity before He went to the cross. Jesus said nothing. He kept silent. One reason, is the truth needs no defense. The other, is He knew the truth would reveal itself eventually.

You see, nothing, and I mean NOTHING, gets past God. Eventually we all know what is a lie and what is the truth. I like to think I have learned from the best of the best. When I question a situation of any kind I like to go silent. Or if my honest actions are questioned in any way, I also like to go silent.

This happened to me at one time in a work environment. I was brought before my higher management because my immediate manager was upset that I had to leave my desk and run to the restroom quite a bit. I also had to eat at my desk, which was piled with work every single day. You see, I was pregnant and in the earlier stages. My manager also had a knack for piling more work on me than I really should have. She was filing her nails and making personal phone calls on the job. She sat right behind me. I had already had a miscarriage from the stress she caused me, among other things. So, there I was, before the elite, just like Jesus was. I was being accused of doing things contrary to my job description. I guess being pregnant really was not so acceptable in the workplace back in those days. Laws have been created to protect pregnant women and their jobs.

I was always a good employee. I never complained and even worked at home when I had more than I could bear at work. I put in more hours than anyone I had knowledge of, and yet there I was, on “trial” for having to “pee” more often? Sounds crazy even now. Yet it was serious. I was at risk of losing my job over my pregnant state and new needs in order to function. I did defend myself. I told the truth about my manager right in front of her and the vice presidents of the place I worked, but it did no good. What did I do? I stopped talking and I went silent. I backed out of the office and out of their lives.

In about 3 months I received a phone call. The accusing manager was fired because they began to watch her and discovered all I had stated about her was the truth. I was not offered my job back, nor did I want it. What I did receive was higher than anything money could have bought. I learned the lesson Jesus and Naomi gave. “Trust, and the truth will reveal itself. ” 

As I write this, I am trusting. Aside from this message, I am being silent in a situation. Honestly, I do not understand people at the moment. Maybe it’s because I really don’t understand that so many don’t even realize just WHO is watching them. Maybe some have become hard in their hearts. Maybe some have just plain not cared about anyone but themselves. All could be possible. Still, I believe in the ability for humans to have compassion. Still, I believe in the truth, both the opposite of a lie and the higher Truth.

Situations can come and go, but honesty, integrity, love, and truth are forever. The lessons we learn from the moments we live are more valuable than anything anyone could ever say about us or accuse us of. Oh people will always lie. We lie to ourselves every day of our lives. It’s the purposeful deceit and lies that I have a hard time understanding.

There is another account concerning Jesus in the Bible that I have always loved. There will be a day when we shall see Him face to face, and in an instant we shall be like Him. In the face of the most influential being in all of history, nothing, and I mean, nothing, can ever be hidden. All is revealed. Just like that moment we stand in the face of the higher Truth. Whether we think so or not, ALL is revealed right at this moment. We were created with God inside of our DNA. He is inside of us. How could He not know the truth about us?

Silent from here,

Dr Rev Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

The Shoe is on the Other Foot

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It will happen. “The shoe will eventually end up on the other foot.” The statement, “The shoe is on the other foot,” means someone who had the disadvantage in a situation now has the advantage in some area. I don’t know why, but having a shoe on the other foot always makes me think I am wearing a shoe on the wrong foot! It’s not what it means though. It means a shift in power or placement in a life situation. It is Karma in it’s best example.

In other words, what goes around really comes back around. Its basic, easy to remember, and always works the same way. It’s a universal standard. On a deeper level, it’s a life lesson. For example, a person might be up for a promotion but brags over and over how they are better at their job than another coworker. That person might get the promotion and be very happy about it. Then they discover the coworker they put down also received a promotion, but now they are the individual’s BOSS! See how the shoe has ended up on the other foot? The advantage and the power has shifted.

Let’s put the example in a business relationship. A family owns a great Italian restaurant that features old fashioned Italian cooking. One side of the family suddenly decides they should change to more contemporary food items to keep up with the times. The restaurant is already making a great profit so the need to change does not seem warranted. A conflict arises and the contemporary Italian cooks decide to break off and start their own competing restaurant with an attitude of “We will show them!”

At first, it appears the new restaurant is going to do better. The public loves it! Yet, it turns out the newness of the contemporary way of cooking has worn off. The public always has curiosity about any new business and will go try it out. I know I love to do that! Suddenly the old style Italian restaurant begins to pick up in profits again, only this time they rise higher! The shoe is definitely on the other foot now.

This type of situation can only happen when there is conflict, competition, or an air of arrogance. It is about the intention of the heart or attitude. If there is an attitude of equality, love, respect, and admiration, there is never a feeling anyone is doing better than anyone else. The shoe can not be on the other foot if we are happy with our own shoes! In other words, be happy with where you are in life, otherwise change it! While you are changing it, have no superior attitude. Remember, life is not a competition with others. Life is meant to be lived in ease, with love, and no comparison. Embrace and celebrate others successes and be content with your own.

Hoping you are wearing your shoes on the right feet, and loving you from here!

Dr Rev Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

“Mom, He’s Looking At Me!”

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Being a mom is so fun! I remember when my kids used to sit around the breakfast table eating and suddenly one of the girls would get upset because one of the boys was looking at her. (I had five kids, two boys and three girls.) Oh how I can just roll my eyes thinking of those mornings when one of the girls would blurt out, “Mom, he’s looking at me again!” My answer: “So what. Eat your breakfast.”

This is how I feel about social media, especially Facebook. It’s called “Face-book” right? Now we have many more, Instagram, Linkedin, etc. All are geared toward others finding us, interacting with them, and getting to know them. We all have the ability to block those we don’t desire to communicate with. I guess we call it a personal space safety net, and one that I also do appreciate. We all need our personal space in person and online.

What really gives me a giggle is when someone puts up their profile on social media but then will only allow the public to see certain things about them (just so some can know they are doing well) but block them from seeing it all. It’s kind of ridiculous really. Or if someone finds out that we have “seen” their profile or have looked at it. Why do people get so upset about this? Again, its social media. Getting upset because someone has looked at our profile is like going to a party and hiding in the closet. People can know we are there and that we look great but they can’t see everything. God forbid that we interact! I want to laugh here because I find it so stupid. Oh, I’ve ranted about this before. Of course we do have those unsavory stalkers that pop up but that is what blocking is for. It’s also what saying no to a party is for as well.

We do have a choice. The funny thing is making the choice to be seen but getting upset when we are. Anyone with me here? It confuses me like the reality that anyone can send mail to our home mailbox but the same person sending email to us can be a no no. Yes, email can be flooded with a lot of unwelcome things but those things are just as tangible as real mail is.

When I put up my profiles on social media it’s because I want people to find my writing, my posts, and sometimes me. If someone bothers me I block them and they can’t see any of it. They still can read my blog writing or see my website. It’s alright with me! LOOK! It’s what its there for.

Personal boundaries aside, we all should recognize we are meant to be a united humanity. We struggle with getting along though. So, we have need of personal space and sometimes have to do some blocking.  Yet, when we are in public we are seen just as much as our social profile, if not more. When someone sees me in person they see it all just as it is. No hiding the 5 pounds I put on lately or if I am having the best day that day. Sometimes we cry, we are angry, we are in bad situations, and we are lost. There are days that are the opposite. Exposing them does not make us weak, it makes us strong and real; someone others can relate to.

I often wonder when we will ever be family or if we always will be upset because “someone is looking at us”. I wonder if God, our passed over loved ones, or if the angels roll their eyes and say, “So what. Eat your breakfast.”

PS. Next time someone unexpected looks at your profile, say cheese, smile, take a photo, post it, and be honored they counted you so important!

Loving you from here, 

Dr Rev Jenine Marie Howry

Weekly Wisdom: “What You Resist Persists”

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Keep this in mind as your week unfolds. That which you resist will become bigger and will continue. I know, I know! It does not seem fair. Yet, it is truth. For instance, if you continue to resist an emotional feeling that creates a lot of sadness within you, your focus will be on that feeling and you will get more of it. We tend to get what we focus on, so resisting is a form of focus upon that which we do not want. Ironically this is how we get more of it. UGH. It could become a never ending circle. So how do you get out of this?

Well, I am glad you are curious! I am too. This is why I love meditation so much. Meditation is not always about clearing one’s mind, but accepting and allowing thoughts to run through the mind and just act like the observer. In this type of mindful meditation we trust and allow the thoughts and feelings to just “be” with no response to them. If we respond, you got it, we get more of the same!

This principle works with EVERYTHING. I believe it was Carl Jung who originally came up with “what we resist persists”. He had a longer version but I think this says it all. So how do you deal with negative thoughts, emotions, ideas, and experiences? You walk through them, trust yourself, trust God, and allow them to come to you. You might find yourself acting upon some of what is occurring but as long as you do not resist or try to push it away, you can find your way to a resolution.

Sound confusing? It really isn’t. Try this. Close your eyes and just breathe. Focus on the breath for a moment and allow your thoughts to just come to you. Don’t resist anything negative, just observe it. If it brings a feeling of sadness, ask God at the moment how that sadness can be resolved within you. The answer will come. It might not come at that moment but it will come. Watch and see! Solutions and growth are what we are all about, not trying to avoid what we don’t want. Growth never comes from avoidance or resistance. Think of your negative experiences and thoughts as a boomerang that never ends unless you resolve to catch it and deal with it.

If you want to build physical muscle you use resistance. Remember this. A muscle gets stronger when you resist it and situations become bigger and stronger when you resist them. Good and bad. This is why unfulfilled attraction always seems the strongest; because we feel forced to resist it. If we let it go and just observe it then it loses its power to control our emotions. I believe many a marriage can be saved, and become stronger, by knowing this. The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence because we feel we must “resist temptation”. That resistance only makes us want more of what we should not have. It’s really quite controlling. Don’t allow yourself to be fooled and controlled! Overcoming this type of resistance only makes us stronger in our conviction to maintain fidelity.

This week, deal with something difficult in your life. Don’t avoid it, don’t resist it, deal with it. There is a solution to every issue in life. Seriously, there is.

Loving you from here,

Dr Rev Jenine Marie Howry