Blessed Are They Who Can Keep it Confidential

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This is not exactly a bible verse. It’s just kind of an offtake of the beatitudes. I think it’s an important subject though. I don’t know why, but humans seem to have this compulsion to talk about things that really don’t pertain to them. I think maybe it is so we can take our eyes off of our own issues for awhile. For some, it might be to feel better about themselves. Regardless of the reason, we do it; we talk about things we have no business discussing with others.

Confidentiality is a real blessing. When we have been blessed with those who keep our issues confidential we have an established trust that is not only rare but a rare treasure. For the ones who keep confidential, it is a double blessing. Those who can keep others thoughts, feelings, issues, and life events private are truly blessed. They are those who others can go to when they feel the need to discuss something with someone. Being someone who others can trust is an honor.

As a counselor, I am bound to confidentiality. Trust is a must or I would not be a very good one. As a hypnotherapist trust is even more important because I deal with the unconscious mind of another human being. Personally, I love those I can go to when life is harder than it should be. I can vent, get upset, say things I really don’t mean, and then settle into solutions without the fear of it being passed along or judgement. It’s a rare find to have those types of people in our lives. Its even a better feeling to be one of those that others can vent with without fear of being exposed or judged.

When someone comes to me to “talk”, I’m all ears, and not mouth. Someone who needs to talk usually just needs to vent. Its so important to do this because it can harm our bodies if we keep it all inside of us. It’s even more important to know that the ground we spill out on will be solid and honorable. This means we know that the other person or people will not share what we just shared. Like I said, sometimes we vent, and often don’t mean what we say. We just need to get it out. Sometimes we vent and we need some input. It’s always a blessing to have someone else’s opinion without it being mandatory we do it “their way”.

Being trustable, like I have stated, is an honor. Even if we are not someone who is held to laws for confidentiality it is a gift to be someone trustable. To be able to hold in our hands and hearts the deepest thoughts, feelings, and struggles of another is a gift to be proud of. In a world where gossip prevails and where people tend to assume they know and then pass things around, it is wonderful to be gifted with someone trustable.

Be that person! Be trustable and establish the type of trust that will be a gift to others. Not everything needs to be opened up like a can of worms and exposed to others. Sometimes it is best to watch life unfold without an opinion or having to add our thoughts to what others are doing. Sometimes observing life is better than talking about it. This also builds trust. Talking about it just judges it and therefore judges others. It has a domino effect and tends to cause others to judge as well because they hear it.

Blurting out what we know is not always just merely being honest. It also is being untrustable. Unless we have the go-ahead to talk about a subject then our mouths really should be shut. Or, unless we have an issue to spill out to a trustable listening ear, we should keep it to ourselves. We are all here for one another but that does not mean we all understand how to hold someone else’s treasure in our hands. Building trust is just that; building. Creating a firm foundation with others takes time. Don’t ever assume that others should just trust you. If they see or hear you blurting out things all over the place you are not the first person they will go to when they need a listening ear.

Silence can be golden. Do you know what I mean? Practice sacred silence by holding issues to yourself for a change. Don’t be so easy to spill the beans all over the place. Trust is sacred and if you are trustable you are sacred as well.

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry.

Do You Know the Difference Between Listening and Hearing?

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Living in a world filled with noise and distraction, its hard to remember to listen when we need to; but do we really hear? There is a huge difference between listening and hearing. Listening is what we take into our ears and process with our brains. Hearing is listening but also adding the heart, compassion, understanding, and emotion. When we hear we bring depth into our understanding of a situation or conversation. It is so important to actually hear while communicating with others. Hearing brings empathy while merely listening just transfers information.

It takes some practice if you have not been good at hearing or have not understood this. Meditation is one way to practice hearing. This is because we have to divert the thoughts running through our heads continually and draw them back into focus. A person with focus is someone who hears well. Hearing also heightens intuition. Someone who hears will intuitively know more about the conversation than just passing knowledge. We should be looking for depth in conversation not just making noise.

You will find your relationships will improve by practicing hearing. That means we honor the other with our whole self and not just our mind. We hear with our heart, compassion, empathy and understanding. So many are misunderstood because of merely passing knowledge and not truly hearing another in a conversation.

Your love life alone will improve just by becoming someone who hears well. Hearing brings honor. It means we are taking the time to truly pay attention with every part of us. In that way we honor others while we are conversing with them. If you really want to show someone they have value to you, then do more than listen. Truly hear with your heart. We are meant to have depth as people. Once again, this takes practice. Sometimes we don’t even realize how little heart we put into our conversations with others, especially in a world filled with technology that can be so impersonal.

Challenge yourself to be personal! Be a person who hears and not someone who merely listens! Watch how much your relationships will improve. Hear to have understanding, and then communication with compassion!

Loving you from here!

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD


What Voice Are YOU Listening To?


listen-to-the-spirit21Have you ever come to a point where you have looked around and found that your life has spun out of control? Life can be a challenge, that’s for sure! Although, we can be the victim of other peoples free will choices, usually our lives are a mess because we have become sloppy in the way we have taken care of them. At first it can be very subtle. Maybe we stop spending as much time listening to God and what He wants and going by other voices. It’s easy to listen to what “sounds good” instead of what IS good for us. A lot of things in this world sound good but they are so far away from what we need or even deserve.

Being led by the wrong voices and therefore making the wrong choices in our lives can create more chaos than we can even imagine. In the book of Ezekiel, God makes reference to “empty vision and flattering divination“. Divination is a means of seeking knowledge from occult type resources. This practice can be quite destructive and the consequences quite devastating. It’s very subtle at first, but eventually we find ourselves sitting in darkness feeling like there is no way out. Divination and seeking through the occult can be a very interesting supernatural lure that leads us down the road that is very far from God and His blessing. The enemy of your soul would love to draw you away from God who wants to bless you through His love and grace! The enemy (Satan) hates you because he hates God and anything that belongs to Him. He will try to give you visions of power and supernatural flattery.Sometimes its not even an intentional seeking but for some reason we are being lured by ways that appeal to us but are not God’s best for us. Don’t be deceived! It is a lure into chaos and misery!

God has much better plans for us! He LOVES us and will always lead us the right way by performing His word as faithful as He always is. His greatest joy is to lead us lovingly back to Himself so He can bless us with His best.daily-image-031313

Much of the time He will allow us to get ourselves into a mess through our own free will choices so we will look to Him, but when we do His promise is miraculous! He wants us to make the right choices so He can bless us with his grace. God is not a punishing God but a gracious one. He never leaves us nor does He ever forsake us. We remove ourselves from Him, sometimes willfully through our actions. Sometimes things happen to us because of the actions of others or the consequences of living in a difficult world. Either way, God will deliver us from the effects of those things if we turn to Him!

Look at what He says to the rebellious nation of Israel in Ezekiel 12: (23-25).

“The days draw near as well as the fulfillment of every vision.  For there will no longer be any false and empty vision or flattering divination within the house of Israel.  For I the Lord will speak, and whatever word I speak will be accomplished. It will no longer be delayed, for in your days, O rebellious house, I will speak the word and I will fulfill it,” says the Lord God.’”

God promises us the truth and will deliver us from every false vision or voice. He will lead His people down the paths of rest and restoration. His guidance is loving and always profits our soul. There will be a day when every vision of God is fulfilled. He has promised, even in the midst of rebellion.

Whatever you do today, listen for God’s voice instead of false voices of the spirit world. We already have a very exciting, loving, supernatural God! What more could we want. His blessings lead to and abundant life and salvation. Trust Him! Read His word, pray in His presence and praise Him for all that He is! Your life will still go through bumpy roads but He will be there to help you drive!

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

Jenine Marie Coaching

For prayer: 800-421-1765