I’m not sure why we seem to feel relationships are tricky. They seem to be the hardest to figure out when people are not either willing to bend or participate in them. The reality is, it takes two to create one. There is no such thing as a one-sided relationship. If only one party participates then it is NOT a relationship. Or if there is disrespect within the connection, there is no relationship there either.
We often fail to get the point about relationships. Regardless of what type: friendship, romantic, parent-child, or business, a relationship can not exist without both parties being engaged in it. Don’t be shocked or surprised when someone walks away from it all or no longer desires to be involved in a conversation with you if you are not willing to participate. In order to do that we have to have feelings about the connection. If we want to truly know if we do have those feelings there has to be communication and interaction. Even more important, there must be mutual respect.
I personally hit a resolve when it has come to relationship connections.
- I will not be a part of a connection if there is a lack of respect. I can not respect someone if they do not respect me as a person.
- If there is no or very little response to me I do not consider someone in my life. It takes two to tango and if there is no initiation on the other party’s part, I will assume they do not desire me in their life.
- If someone is not willing to communicate and understand my position and my heart then there is no relationship in my world. I do that for others when they allow me to, speak to me kindly, and offer their friendship. Otherwise, there is nothing more to say.
- I will consider myself abandoned if there is no response to my initiation of conversation and connection. Life is too short to have one-sided conversations.
- I will consider myself abandoned if there is no heart-to-heart understanding or even an attempt at one.
- There is no such thing as “I love you but I don’t have the time to connect with you”. Sorry, love can be present but it can not be expressed without connection.
- I have boundaries in my life, everyone should. If they are continually crossed, I consider myself without you.
These might seem a bit harsh but, for me, they have to be true. You might have different ones, and that is ok. Our differences make us unique, but they don’t always make us friends.
Loving you from here,
Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry
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