(Photo is our home prior to our purchase, built in 1920. Listing photo credits to Century 21, Harvey Properties in Paris, TX )
I am writing this piece because of a personal situation I have discovered regarding the sale of an old home by my husband and me and the defamation of character created in online public forums by one of the new owners. I messaged her briefly right after their purchase, wished them well, and said I was excited to see what they would create in what was our home. Instead, we were blocked from her upcoming photos. Since I belong to and read through many old and historic home public platforms, of course, I recognized our home. As I began to read her defaming comments and the comments by others she ignited, my heart dropped into my stomach. This woman knew nothing about us, or why many things were left unfinished, etc. She did know my daughter passed away the day after closing when she and her husband bought our home, and quite a bit under market value. Some of the funds went to her burial, and I continued on my road to grieving my personal heartache and loss.
Since it was a small town we lived in and my husband worked for a public governmental organization, we were “known” as was the home we bought in that town. I saw many comments about how people “knew that home” in the new owner’s comments.
I obtained my doctorate while living in that home, worked hours on end, reading over 35 books, doing research, citing sources, typing, editing, and completing my doctoral dissertation. While living in the home, I painted my office a light peach and started painting the attached bathroom a slightly darker peach. I thought it brightened the dark wood and gave me something to do while I had writer’s block. Often distracted, it was not always the best paint job, but hey, it was “our home”. Right? This was met only with her lack of gratitude for the home she said she now cherished, as evidenced by her comment that the room looked like “a 1980s wedding threw up on the walls.” I thought, alright, well, just her opinion. It did not stop there, though.
My point is that gratitude goes a long way, and defamation of character is a serious and prosecutable offence! Our names do not have to be mentioned for a lawsuit to happen. Not to mention the emotional damage and despair caused on top of what we were already going through. This article is created on behalf of all those who have gone through similar or even close types of situations. For those who like to make mean comments online, maybe you should be grateful for what you have instead of hurting those who made it happen for you?
In our daily interactions, it is essential to be mindful of how we speak about others. Words carry weight, and careless assumptions can lead to misunderstandings and reputational harm. When we engage in conversations, especially in public forums, it’s crucial to remember that our statements might not only reflect our thoughts but also shape others’ perceptions of the individual we are discussing. This is particularly true when highlighting negative traits or behaviors without solid evidence.
For instance, when a rumor is circulated, it can quickly spiral out of control, damaging someone’s reputation before they even have a chance to defend themselves. Public defamation is not just a legal concern; it affects the emotional and psychological well-being of the person being targeted. The consequences of speaking carelessly can be profound and far-reaching, impacting friendships, careers, and even mental health. Thus, it is vital to think critically about the information we share and its implications for others.
Before voicing opinions about another person, it is beneficial to reflect thoughtfully and gather accurate information. This ensures that our conversations contribute to a culture of respect and understanding rather than one of negativity and harm. By fostering a more considerate discourse, we not only protect others but also create an environment where honesty and integrity are valued.
The owners of our home, prior to our purchase, also faced difficult hardships. Life happens, and we honor the lives that gifted us a home we spent 2-1/2 years in. They did with it what they desired, and that was their right. Bottom line, a lot of living went on in that house. If walls could only talk, right? Then we might know the true value of the humans who made their lives complete in the place where their most sacred parts occurred.
In love and in vision,
Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry
Sources:
Klein, E. (2017). The Art of Communication: How to Speak Effectively and Create Meaningful Relationships. New York, NY: Basic Books.
Smith, J. (2019). Speaking Wisely: The Importance of Thoughtful Communication in Our Lives. Journal of Communication Studies, 54(2), 102-115.
Life Lessons by Jenine Marie 