“You Have Been the Joy of My Life”

“You have been the joy of my life.” There are no words more healing than the statement I just wrote. When my father was in his mid to late 50’s, he was diagnosed with lung cancer and given two weeks to live. He managed to stretch that into two years! Still, the harsh reality of lung cancer was quite graphic. I know he went through a lot. 

  At the time he was closer to leaving this world, I was 9 months pregnant with my youngest son and living a good distance away. I also had 3 other children I was caring for mostly on my own. Going to visit him was hard in a couple ways. One, I could not come as often as I would have liked and the other was it was so hard to witness. In years prior to his diagnosis we had drifted somewhat apart with only a few visits here and there over the years since I left home at the age of 17. It’s amazing how facing death can change a person’s perspective. I know he wanted to see me but the trip was getting too hard before the birth and even after. It was recommended I not travel and risk my pregnancy and then my recovery.

  I did fine and my baby did fine. I felt very fortunate to have a healthy baby boy! My father never got the chance to see him because he passed from his body 3 weeks after my son’s birth. It was hardly enough time to allow my son to be old enough to make the trip and for me to feel enough strength. Pregnancy and birth can take a lot out of a person. Not to mention some sleepless nights, other children who needed me and other situations that were difficult in my life at the time.

  So dad called me once a week, usually on Wednesday. I knew he was getting closer to leaving this world when our conversation became a bit more serious and I guess tender. He told me he loved me, and I told him the same. I had some serious things to try to work out in life so he fed in some advice and encouraged me by telling me how strong of a woman I am. I needed those words because I truly did not feel all that strong in those days. Then toward the end he let me know I could do anything I put my mind to and that I had been the joy of his life. There are no words in life that were more healing than those from my father. I needed to hear them but had no idea how much I needed it.

  There is a certain power we have as parents in life. We have the power to break down, to heal, to discourage or to plant seeds of blessing. There are more but for the sake of this blog post I am going to get to the point. Life is about choice. At that moment my father chose to edify me and his words spoke right to my heart, so much I remembered them for a very long time. Every time I think of him, I think of those words. I don’t count his mistakes nor do I really think of the hard times so much as I used to. There was no gap in time between us and it was like no distance either. In fact, his words ring truth to me when I am down and need something to pick me back up. Suddenly, my own mistakes don’t seem so prominant. All I know and think of is that I am the joy of my fathers life whether he is here in body or in spirit.

  Consider the words you speak, and even more, consider if they heal or harm. I hope you choose healing. You can make a world of difference in the life of someone who really needs to hear they are the joy of your life!

Loving you from here,

Jenine Marie

Find me also at JenineMarieHypnosis.com