If you have been a blog reader of mine, especially recently, you know my daughter passed away in August. It seems like a lifetime has passed because so many things have changed. One of the most significant changes I have witnessed in my family is job strain and even job loss.
Maybe we should chalk it up to the times and the reality, so many people are looking for employment that positions are becoming too easy to replace. No one is replaceable. We are all unique and bring special gifts to the table no matter where we go. It almost appears that employers don’t quite see things that way.
Let me fill you all in as to what happens when someone we love passes away suddenly. Our lives are turned upside down. Time has to be taken to work through some of the wounds created by the feelings of loss experienced by our loved one’s passing. It is a hurt that goes deeper than any loss anyone could encounter in this life. People are not replaceable. We are all unique and fashioned so that no one on this earth can take our place, not anywhere.
Grief never takes a holiday and continues way after the funeral of our loved ones. We might have a strong, enduring faith in God or belief in the afterlife, but nothing seems to console us from the feelings of loss and sadness when someone we deeply love leaves their bodies and our worldly lives. A huge hole is created where that one person used to live. This is how valuable we all truly are. Every life affects everyone around them, and when that life is taken, there is a gap where that person once was.
I have witnessed how the strain of loss has affected my loved ones, their jobs, and positions, the everyday way life unfolds, and the series of losses that go along with the extreme grief caused by the death of someone close. When someone dies, the jolt and reality of what has happened cause a ripple effect in life. Our lives stop for moments at a time as we notice over and over that things will never be the same again. I have found it very hard to concentrate on things that used to be easy for me. My nerves are on edge, my focus is different, and the very core of who I was has now changed. This reality presents itself time and time again.
Waves of grief fall all over me as I go through my day. My emotions and the way I deal with situations and people are different now. I have no time for emotional volleyball and no time for trivial junk thrown at me. My patience level is not as it used to be. Grief does this. It has a mind of its own.
The unfortunate part of going through this type of grief is watching those I love strain with their employers and employment status. No one should have to lose a job for the time taken to grieve or be with loved ones who are grieving. Where is the compassion of people these days? Do they have to suffer losses of their own to see what it is like? Do they have to suffer the loss of their jobs because of the time needed to process their sadness to understand their impact on others when they dole out the walking papers to those who have lost their jobs?
Let me give you a strong piece of advice if you are an employer or someone near an individual going through a significant loss in their life. Be compassionate and let them have all the time they need to process their heartache. Jesus taught us the great law of universal sowing and reaping. He warned us all that we will reap what we sow. This law goes for good things as well. Compassion will reap compassion, but just the same, coldness will reap coldness as well.
Be warned; God will not be mocked; we all truly reap what we sow in life. If you are an employer, remember to be compassionate and caring toward those who work for you if you want your business to flourish. Your livelihood or one of your loved ones might be the next loss YOU personally experience to learn the lesson well.
Don’t push someone in deep grief to their limit. Do you really want that responsibility sitting upon your head and life?
Loving you from here,
Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph.D
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