The most confident of women still need the support of the men who surround them. As much as we do not like to admit this, the men in our lives have a strong pull regarding our self image, confidence, and successes in life. Even God tells us to not be unequally yolked because if two do not agree then they can not walk together. There is nothing more disheartening than to be partnered with someone who is set on defeating us. It’s hard enough in this world when we are bombarded by so many elements that cause us to always be in the spiritual battle in order to continue to thrive, let alone have it in our own home or own lives.
Having a man in our life who positively supports us and our endeavors is a real important thing. It is better to not have anyone then to live side by side with someone who knocks us down so much that we have to continually strive to just get by that we seem to never go any further in life.
Aside from instructing women to make good choices in life, I want to address the men for a moment. After all, creating more aware and supportive men can give us all a better chance of having one who is.
Here it goes! Men, you do not make yourself look bigger, more confident, more desirable, more successful, more powerful, or even more “right”, but stomping your woman down! I know it can be very easy to slip into what you perceive as the headship mode and lay down the law according to what you want and desire. Allow me to interject a little secret here, “This will not empower you in the long run”! There might be a false sense of winning the battle, and we all know how important that is to you! We know that men are designed to win the war for us, but be very careful where you wage your war! Your battle is never with us. Your battle is outside of us in order to protect us. Not only that, trying to conquer your woman will only defeat you in the long run! STOP FIGHTING HER! She is not your enemy! You were given a special gift by God in the partner and wife you have been blessed with. Women were created from the side of a man in order to stand by his side. If you smash your woman, you have just destroyed your greatest ally! Do NOT do this! Let me give you just a little advice here if you humor me for just a moment. (Don’t check out here, it will be worth it in the long run)!
Tell her you love her every day! I know she “knows” this, but she also needs to hear it.
Talk about the good things that she is. It will not lift her or you up to complain about her to others. After all, look at is this way; she certainly does not shed good light on you or your choices if you make her look bad by your complaints about her.
Be supportive of her goals and allow her the space to accomplish her dreams. Remember her goals are also your combined goals. Taking away her power will not make you look stronger. It actually makes you look weak, not to mention it is unfair.
Be genuine in accentuating her beauty both inside and out. See her for who and what she really is, a gift to you from God. You will never give her more confidence by comparing her to other women, allowing your eyes to wander elsewhere, criticizing her choices, or not allowing her to be herself.
When you are together in other places, always let her know she has your support, even when your attention has to be on other things or other people. Show her she adds to your successes and compliments your life by not ignoring her in the crowd.
If you want her to stand, stop knocking her down! You will never help her to become better or stronger if you are the one who is acting as her enemy. A house divided will not stand! If you want support from her, then make sure you do not destroy the support system. She will rise to the occasion every single time for a man who empowers her instead of taking away her power!
These are just some things to get you started. I can mention more, but I think you have the idea. If you are building together, don’t bring it all down by stomping on your building partner! If you support her empowerment it will empower you as well. Remember she is strong enough to arise to any occasion. God has given her that when He made her. If you always try to break her, eventually God will empower her to leave you and it will be the greatest mistake of your life!
I’m being honest here. We live in a society that takes away the value of women in so many ways. MEN do NOT be one of them!
Rev Jenine Marie Howry