I kid you not, I have spent a lifetime working at avoiding various types of gossip and drama. Either it has been in the workplace, friendships, or extended family issues. This is putting aside genuine caring for one another. What I am speaking of is needless, painful, discord, that only feeds negativity and hurtfulness toward others. I want to be honest and open here. I have been absolutely HATED because I don’t agree with being involved with drama and discord. Anyone can plainly see, when people are involved in those kind of things, hatred can only spawn from them. It takes me to the point where I struggle to forgive and not to spawn my own hatred from the circumstances.
I don’t like hearing it. I don’t like people trying to draw me into it. I don’t like what it does to relationships that otherwise would be loving and connected ones. I do like discovering things about people, understanding their struggles, and staying in the loop when it comes to others issues. It’s part of being a minister and I also learn from them. Sometimes I am just plain curious. But, that does not mean I desire to take anyone’s “stuff” to the next level and spread it around like peanut butter on a ritz cracker.
Recently I found myself seeking God on issues that should not be happening. I can’t stop them, I can’t control them, and I can’t even come to an understanding about them. The one thing I know I can do is distance myself from the issues. There is something that really baffles me though. Why on earth would anyone want to create such havok in their lives and the lives of others? I am not fond of witnessing greed, manipulation, lies, control, and other madness that should not exist in the lives of those who are supposed to love one another.
I have some clear cut examples of my own where gossip about me has caused whole families of people to absolutely hate my guts. That is the only way I can describe it. The thing is, I never really understood what it was I did to cause it. I really believe that some people just have to generate it to feel alive. It’s almost like when a person cuts themselves because they want to feel something; anything. I believe discord spreaders and drama creators do it because they are addicted to the emotions that the drama creates for them. Otherwise their lives appear to them too boring to be a part of.
I know this is not the usual touchy feely kind of blog post I might usually have but its honest and straightforward. God help us all when I finally learned to have a voice! It created a whole other crop of issues for me. No longer was I someone that others could use as their drama subject and get away with it for long.
So how do we end it or keep it from happening? Well, we can’t’ control others nor their emotional drama high and addictions, so we are helpless to change them. All we can do is turn them over to God, and the Universal powers that be, then just RUN in the other direction! It is alright to not want to be a part of what violates your personal moral standards or beliefs. It is also alright to back away from those who do violate them. Yes, you might get the cold shoulder, a bit of hatred spewed out, or just some gossip spread about you. If you really know yourself and tap into the power of God daily this won’t be an issue for you. I love the saying, “Other people’s thoughts about me are none of my business.” I don’t know who originally said that but I think it is very profound and empowering.
Since we are all ONE in the sight of God through Christ, what is done to others we also do to ourselves. So, keep this one in mind the next time you are tempted to be involved with discord, drama, or gossip. Sometimes they all go hand in hand. The Universal law of reaping what you sow will not bypass you. Stay uninvolved and only hear from a distance with no emotional response. After all, it is the emotional high that drama queens feed on. I believe it is an illness. I truly do. So pray for them, forgive them, and then go on about your own life. You will reap the rewards of staying in integrity when others are taking a spin in the old karmic wheel.
Loving you from here,
Dr Rev Jenine Marie Howry