I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what happens when others do us wrong. I think if you live on this planet you have been in that situation a time or two (or maybe more). We can be so strong while getting through hard things in life but our hearts still can be so very fragile. It’s hard to even explain why we are that way. Have you ever tried to just get over something to find that it almost feels impossible? I am talking about a situation where you have confronted the issue, given it to God, written in your journal, meditated on solutions, went to hypnotherapy, talked to well meaning friends, got your hugs from family members, or cried your last tear. If the issue has been devastating enough you have probably tripled this list of things you have done to get over it all and let it go. Maybe you have even worked on forgiveness, which is the most honorable thing to do. It can be hard though. I completely understand.
Sometimes I think to myself, “If only that person would be sorry for what they did”. Or maybe, “Things would feel better if that employer got what is coming to them”. These are things that might never happen or it might just take a long time. Going to God and forgiving and asking Him to take the pain, heal it, and help us to move on, is a great solution. I know people though, and I know we take back everything we give to Him and go just “one more time around the same old mountain”. This does not happen every time but it happens a lot. What is it that keeps us tied to situations that were devastatingly hard on us or we were really given the short end of the stick? What about that love relationship that ended up to be nothing you thought it would and your heart was ripped to pieces?
I took some time to pray and ask God what would have made some situations I had in my life a little easier to get over. I really had to dig into the spirit a bit to figure out what would have made things better during those hard moments. Certainly talking to those who care has always helped. There is no treasure in life quite like a good and compassionate friend who will listen and love us through our words and our hurts. Yet, there was something else that came to me that I know really helps when situations are hard to let go of. I came to this conclusion:
When people let us down and do very mean things to us it really helps if someone wisely stands up and defends us.
Of course this can’t occur in every situation, but for those that it can happen for it really is healing when others give us a defense. I worked at a commercial bank a long time ago and my manager really was putting the stress on me. I had to walk away from my job and my life suffered because of it. I move onward but it really bothered me every day because I felt no one understood. Then a phone call came one day and I was told that a co-worker came to my defense before management. She made her case so well that everything that came against me was revealed. I never went back to that employer but I healed a great deal that day! What really made a huge difference is someone came to my defense, and truth was aired out! The truth always sets people free! I know God had a huge hand in that one because the whole burden lifted from me immediately!
If you ever want to really heal someone who has endured something very hard, then stand up for their character, and tell the truth about them. Defense is something that is so very Godly and so very healing. You need to be brave and also wise as well. First make sure it is a can of worms that should be opened and it won’t cause more issues for the person you are defending. If you can, get their permission first. We need to be wise stewards of our loved ones situations and confidential information. I guarantee you though, if done right, you will be a breath of fresh air for someone who has been really harmed in life. God defends us as His children. He knows he whole truth about every situation. His word says to see wrong doing and do nothing is to condone it. Keep in mind that sometimes being a good listening ear is the door way to a great healing for someone. Yet, there are times, if we are given the green light, when defense is a real healer and brings a settling into a hurting person that helps them move on with life.
Can you think of times when you wish you had someone to defend you when done wrong? I pray GOD Himself will be your defense, but that He will also send someone special to be your “defense attorney” in that situation as well. We all need a solution that settles our hearts and lives. I hope for you freedom and also opportunities to be the liberator!
In Your Defense,
Pastor Jenine Marie Howry
Jenine Marie Coaching