Stephen R. Covey’s powerful statement, “listen to understand rather than to reply,” encapsulates a profound truth about the art of communication. In a world brimming with constant noise and distractions, it’s easy to fall into the trap of merely hearing words while concocting our responses. However, true diplomacy arises from an authentic effort to comprehend another’s perspective, rather than simply preparing for our own rebuttal. When we listen to understand, we build a foundation of empathy that fosters trust and encourages open dialogue.
Covey’s advice to “seek first to understand, then to be understood” illuminates the importance of positioning ourselves as learners in the conversation. This mindset shift encourages us to approach discussions with curiosity rather than defensiveness. Rather than imposing our ideas onto others, we gain insights that might challenge or refine our own viewpoints. By intentionally prioritizing understanding, we allow space for diverse thoughts, which often leads to more productive conversations and innovative solutions.
Embracing this principle can pave the way for effective compromise and collaboration. When we listen with the intent to understand, we acknowledge that every person has their own unique experiences and insights to bring to the table. This approach not only enriches our understanding but also helps us arrive at conclusions that reflect a balance of all perspectives involved. In doing so, we ensure that the final outcome is not merely a result of one-sided thinking, but a collective agreement that honors everyone’s needs and desires. Ultimately, by cultivating the skill of empathetic listening, we foster an environment where meaningful dialogue thrives and solutions emerge more harmoniously.
Loving you from here,
Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry
Covey, S. R. (1989). The 7 habits of highly effective people: Powerful lessons in personal change. Free Press.
Life Lessons by Jenine Marie 