Recently I came to the realization about relationships and seasons. The relationships I am speaking of are the ones we often consider permanent such as marriage. I always felt marriage should be a lifelong commitment and it certainly should. Yet, there are often times in life when “life long” is not possible. Some of the reasons for separation might be as follows:
**One of the spouses passes away
**Separation must happen due to differences that are impossible to reconcile.
**One spouse commits adultery
**Divorce is granted due to the harshness of treatment from one to the other
**The partners have a narcissistic and empath connection which causes stress, turmoil, and heartache
Of course, married couples should remain married for life and I tip my hat to all of those who have accomplished this and remained with one another! You are my heroes! In some cases, this can not happen for some of the reasons above or maybe you might consider adding to them. Feel free to add a comment if you have more reasons!
I have come to understand some people are not meant to be married for life because they are only meant to be with one another for a season and not a lifetime. If you know the bible, you understand God gave Moses the ability to allow Israelite men to divorce their wives because of the hardness of their hearts. I truly believe this move of God was due to the men treating their wives poorly and it was God’s salvation and love of the women He created.
Although our marriage vows often include the “death til we part” line, I have come to discover that a season for a couple to be together can end before their human lives do. This is God’s grace. Understanding God gives grace as a power to move on in life is very important. This is not to take lightly the institution of marriage because it truly is a sacred vow we take with one another. Often we discover we were never meant to marry, to begin with, or sometimes the reason we attracted one another has been fulfilled and it is time to move on.
Since I know I can take some flack from these statements I want to add; that it is better to separate and admit a mistake than to suffer the consequences of a very unhappy relationship for all of life. Even more important it is wise to consider our choice very strongly before we marry another human being. When I used to write marriage vows I often included, ” While marriages are made in heaven they are maintained on earth”. This means we orchestrated the marriage connection before we came here but it is our responsibility to maintain the relationship and learn the lessons we are meant to learn.
All relationships are lessons. There is no right or wrong, just the lesson. If we get that part we have the whole story. Of course, love in its highest form will always attract to itself. Love is the greatest lesson we could possibly learn. If you don’t learn anything else, learn love. Biblically love is patient, kind, long-suffering, and keeps no record of wrongs (forgives). There are more in the Scripture but these stand out for me. If we seek peace, we tend to receive all things no matter what. Be a peacemaker and you will become the ambassador for many who attempt to love and might be missing the mark! Be a healer in relationship distress and your heart will be one that is lifted up among many.
Remember to have wisdom. If your marriage is taking the air out of your life, maybe it is time to admit its time is over or it was not meant to be, and move on!
Love one another. I love you from here!
Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry
If you are struggling with a relationship issue and need help, please call me for a session at 832-484-8306. I offer several months of life coaching for any issue in life. I do not operate as a clinical therapist but as a doctor of spiritual psychology and a master life coach.
Life Lessons by Jenine Marie 