Have you ever encountered a laughing person spewing out their sense of humor with words that actually hurt more than they are funny? If your answer is “no” you are lucky. When someone is humorous but saying hurtful things to us it’s usually called “sarcasm“. Before I go on, let me give you a Wikipedia definition of what sarcasm is.
“Sarcasm is the caustic use of words, often in a humorous way, to mock someone or something. Sarcasm may employ ambivalence, although it is not necessarily ironic.” Wikipedia I highlighted two of the most prominent words in the definition in bold type so you can see the full impact of what sarcasm really is. Usually, someone thinks they are joking but they are actually being mean-spirited and hurtful. Then, when called on it, the next comment is usually “Can’t you take a joke, I was only kidding!” I’m sorry, this one never gets past me. It did not in the past and will not in the present. When someone is not laughing at a humorous comment you just made it means it hurt and was not funny to them.
Quite long ago I dated someone like this. He thought being sarcastic and hurting people was alright as long as the joke was funny to HIM! I’m still grateful for being saved from going further in that connection. As much as people hate to admit it sarcasm is emotional abuse. It reflects upon a person that the sarcastic one sees them as inferior or flawed in some way. Trust me, we who have experienced it from someone are not inferior. We are unfortunate to run across those who do this to others but we are usually the trusting, honest, and compassionate type. Sarcasm does not go over well with sarcastic people. Usually, they can’t take what they dish out.
I have written about this subject before, so what brings it up again today? Welp, I am glad you asked! I experienced sarcasm (sarcastic remarks) from someone in a group I never expected it to come from. (And yes, it hurt). We tend to think or believe spiritual people are safe and for the most part, kind. This is not always true. Not everyone is as mature as we would like them to be. For the record, I know when to accept things as a joke and when something is meant to demean me. I guess it comes with both intuition and experience.
The next question is how to deal with it. In my particular case with the more recent event, I have quietly backed away. Sometimes people need to be left with themselves in order to allow some spiritual and emotional maturity to take place. In my previous situation, it was not as easy. It was some time ago and I was learning how to have some emotional backbone. Eventually, I had to grieve it out, but now in hindsight, I’m grateful.
There is always a reason I tend to write about the things I do. Usually, it’s because I have encountered it, or it’s about others who have. My blog is about life lessons (at least on this Blogspot). Learning how to deal with sarcasm is definitely a life lesson. To those who think sarcasm is funny, I hope you wake up. To those who have been the victim of it, I hope you heal.
Loving you from here,
Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry
“My services and website are now dedicated to those who endure anxiety, depression, and also grief. Healing in an emotional way is the most intimate and delicate work you will ever do in your life. Allow me, as a compassionate person, to be a part of your journey with sessions to accommodate your mind and soul!” Jenine Marie