4 Ways Anger Can Be a Good Thing!

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I think most of us know when anger is not a good idea. Those are the moments when it is out of control. Anything out of balance can destroy instead of enhance. For example, a lit candle is beautiful but a fire destroying a home is devastating. Water can be soothing but a flood that ruins and takes lives is not so soothing. In the same respect, anger in its right place can be an asset when out of control it harms everything in its way.

So, when is anger an asset? Let’s take a look at this. It certainly is an emotion we are given and therefore it must have it’s place, right? Anger can tell us alot about how we feel about a situation. It can be a part of that gut intuition we have been given to discern and decide. There is a good anger. What about righteous indignation? We can be angry at racism, sexism, dirty politics, or when the neighbor next door throws their garbage over our back fence. Do you see where I am going with this?

Let’s consider how anger can help:

1) It can show us how we really feel about something going on outside of us or even inside of us. Anger gives revelation.

2) It can help us draw boundaries as to what we want in our lives and what we do not from others. Anger is a protection.

3) It can be a driving force to get us out and going when we have been complacent. Anger is a motivator.

4) It can show us where we have been hurt inside because of the response to what someone has done. Anger is a compass.

So, you see, it is not all bad all of the time. Being angry is not such a mortal sin. It has its uses and some are very good uses. Just like the rising ocean waves, just don’t let it get to high and like the fire that is only a flame, don’t allow it to get out of control!

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry

 

Re-evaluating The Hard Things: Talking About Shame

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When you were growing up, have you ever heard someone say to a child, “You should be ashamed of yourself!” This usually came after  some perceived error in judgment or just plain bad behavior. I wonder if any parent ever stopped to think about those words and what they might mean when someone becomes an adult. I wonder where parents heard those words themselves, took on the shameful perception of themselves, and then unconsciously passed it on as “good morality” teaching. When I hear those words myself, I see a little girl sitting cross legged on a bed with her head down ready to cry.

When a person grows up in shaming then shame is what they carry either unconsciously, consciously, or both. As shaming is passed down through family lines it becomes like a genetic disease. Most of the time it goes unnoticed like a program that runs in the background of a life, just like on a computer. Then it comes out the first opportunity it gets, to stab a person right into the shame wound. The next thing they know it comes out of their pores in the form of anger, fear, humiliation, and the list goes on.

Someone who has been seriously shamed can never take any type of correction, teaching, or instruction. They just believe they are being wronged, bruised, and shamed again and again. This does not end until awareness is brought to the wound. Once something is known it can not be unknown. It becomes a person’s truth and can be very transformative if an individual decides to make it that way.

The next time someone corrects you, tries to teach you, criticizes you, or worse, think about what feelings are suddenly brought up. How does your body feel and is it reacting as well? Sometimes you might feel sick in your stomach, your breath might become faster and shorter, or you might feel like you want to storm off, lash out, or RUN!  Pain is always an indicator of illness of any kind. It makes no difference if it is physical or emotional. It brings an opportunity to create healing. The next time a situation brings you distress, instead of blaming another person or a situation, let it be a healing moment.

Close your eyes, put one hand over your heart and one on your stomach. Breath deep and slowly. Ask yourself what feelings this issue is bringing up for you and if you would like to decide to heal yourself instead of react. If you want to heal yourself, sit with God and tell yourself the words that others never seemed to ever say. “I am valuable.” I am enough.” “Others’ opinions or thoughts of me don’t have to be made my own.” “I am deeply loved and admired.” “I am unique and God sees me as powerful.” There are many you can say. Maybe write down some of your own and keep them in a place where you see them every day. Then when shame comes to call, open the door with a self love bomb that sends it packing for good!

Practice makes perfect in this case. Let it become second nature to you. Refuse to pass shame down through family lines. Refuse to allow others words, actions, or thoughts of you make you feel less than what you really are. Instead of blame, heal. Instead of lash out or react, reaffirm. Instead of shame, brilliance!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry

If you struggle with shame or if you tend to take on others thoughts of you, please call and make an appointment. I can guide you through a course of healing that can reaffirm who you really are!

832-484-8306

Indignation Will Keep You From God’s Miracles!

devils and angels7777Indignation means to have a righteous anger about an unjust action, mistreatment, or an insult. It’s good to stand up for what we believe in and also to defend others against injustice. In fact to see sin or injustice and do nothing is also sin.

“Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it”. (James 4:17)

Jesus had righteous indignation when he saw people misusing the temple courts. His anger turned the tables against wrong doing. But Jesus was completely righteous and his anger was not something He held onto. He picked His battles correctly, standing up for God, proclaiming the house of God to be a house of prayer.

While many times we are justified to have indignation because of what has been done to us or someone, it is not good to hang onto it. Hanging onto indignation is anger with an attitude and attaches itself to pride. We all know, or should know, that pride always comes before a fall.

Indignation is a sneaky little thing. Since it is caused by some injustice it always “feels right” to hang onto it. After all, no one should get away with injustice. Our God is a God of justice as much as He is a God of grace and love. God’s justice is always righteous. With us it is not always the case. That is why God tells us that vindication is in His hands not ours.

“Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the LORD. (Romans 12:19)

If any of us are to have right attitude then we have to learn to leave the results to God when we come against injustice. We all should take a stand against malice and the evil in this world. Sometimes we take a public stand and sometimes we fight it in the spirit. Often we do both. Again, the hang up is when we hold onto the outcome with indignant anger.

The Bible tells us to anger but sin not. We get angry, and we do become indignant. People can actually become quite offended. Sometimes its just plain justified, but by no means does this mean there is permission to hold onto the offense and allow it to be rooted into a stronghold of bitterness. Evil strongholds are caused by the enemy and not God, but we allow them.

Indignation comes from an action that has caused a wound. The indignation might be justified but we are never justified in allowing a wound to fester. Once we have done all we can to stand, our instructions from God is to continue to stand. He will fight our battle as the righteous judge and believe me, those who committed the injustice will eventually understand their error! God truly IS a righteous judge and He is good at bringing people to repentance. Just remember that even though letting people know they have wronged you is the right thing to do, punishing them is not.

You have to learn to let go and let God handle things. The spirit of indignation would love to attach itself to you and drain the life out of you. Also that prideful anger would love to keep you from God’s miracles. Any sin separates us from God and hanging onto any part of anger once it is expressed is sin.

What a lot of people do not realize is that indignation is a spirit as much as it is an emotion. In fact the sneaky spirit of indignation attaches itself to the emotion in hope of keeping a person angry and upset. This is all a well constructed strategy to keep God’s people from receiving His miracles and blessings.

Today, I want to see you released from indignation that might have been caused for a good reason, but now it has become a stronghold due to hanging onto it. Don’t be fooled. That stronghold of indignation loves to fester inside the wound that was caused from someone’s actions. Don’t let this happen! It will keep you from God’s miracles and it will cause you to react out of the wounds instead of have right actions.

Healing and Deliverance 

Dear Jesus,

We thank You for Your goodness and revelations of freedom. Dig deeply into wounds caused by indignation and release them through tears, repentance, and humility.

Release your wounds to Jesus now and let Him take care of the heartache that injustice has caused you. Spend some time doing this with Him. I promise He will meet you right there and will be kind and gentle with you. 

Through the power of God’s Holy Spirit and in Jesus’ name, now renounce and cast out the spirit of indignation. Call it what it is, kick it to the curb, wave “bye bye”! Don’t take it back on again! 

Dear Jesus, Reveal and break down every stronghold of indignation. Heal wounds and place Your sweet balm upon them. We release every injustice against us into Your hands to deal with as You see fit. We trust Your righteousness to be fair and just. Thank you for healing and for freedom! amen

Free along side you!

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

Jenine Marie Coaching

Finding Confidence Through Discerning Anger

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Anger is a very tricky emotion sometimes. God has given us the ability to be angry and yet it seems like the world always wants to stop us from feeling it. In all honesty, anger has a real God given purpose. Without it we would find it much harder to discover the places inside of us that hurt. Anger expresses our emotion of feeling slighted, stepped on, rejected, hurt, and many other things. Sometimes our anger can reveal things that we never realized were there in us. Anyone who lives in this world will experience things that will potentially cause emotional issues that can fester deep inside the inner parts. Often these things live in us until something or someone comes along to bring it to the surface. If we stop anger from happening all together then we stop our ability to discover those things that anger will reveal in us.

God tells us to “anger but sin not”. This means basically, “By all means be angry, but do not allow it to flow out of control or get out of balance”. If anger can be used to mindfully bring forward an important issue that needs to come to the surface so it can be dealt with, then it is anger well spent. The hard issues come if the balance of anger goes beyond its true purpose. Once anger has revealed that there is a problem that is coming up, then the real tricky part is to allow it to just simmer enough to uncover it.

The next time anger comes to the surface, by all means express the issue because it hurts you more not to. Then mindfully stop and examine the issue that is behind it. Ask God to help you discern what the anger means and why it is present. Really, anger can be your confident friend if you allow it to. Not all anger is bad, so keep that out of your mind. No guilt for expressing the truth of what is inside of you, even if the truth seems a bit misguided. This is what life is experienced for! You will find a new confidence in this process and a new empowerment as you learn to use your God given emotions to bring real healing to yourself and others!

In addition, never go to bed angry! Meditate, pray, and allow yourself to be settled before sleeping. Keeping anger inside all through the night will cause terrible issue in your health. This would be anger out of balance! Keep yourself on even keel. Learning to manage the waves of life’s emotional ocean is a very lofty endeavor, but well worth the journey!

God’s blessing upon you!

Jenine Marie

Ephesians 4:26 (American Standard Version)

26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: