Can YOU Identify Yourself? Finding True Identity in God.

photo 3 (4)Quite awhile back I met a woman who came to me for spiritual counseling. Her life was literally draining her blue. She was emotionally and spiritually anemic from trying to be everyone else, accept herself. She was confused and had no idea who she was or even her own value. She had spent her whole life long trying to find her value in being like others. It was really quite exhausting even to listen to, or watch. She had to be, and also obtain, everything after the mold of everyone else.

This woman had no clear identity of her own, so she tried to force an identity upon herself by trying to copy others. She missed the understanding that God had made her unique and had fashioned her to be the way she is to be before she even came out of her mother’s womb. Years of struggle, abuse, and life’s complications, created a fragmented person; the vision of one who always tried to do everything in her own power and not Gods.

The hard thing about a situation like hers was trying to get her to see her true value the way God saw her. She lived in the shadows and it was always in the shadow of someone else’s perceived glory. Unfortunately this causes a person to miss their own calling, gifting, and uniqueness. Sorting through all of the defeats this caused her in life was a challenge because so much of the real person was still hidden in dark places. Unfortunately she did not continue to seek and find herself, so prayers are all I can now give to her.

I see this often though. Sometimes we seek to be accepted so much that we seek outside of who we truly are in order to obtain it. The problem is, a person could get real lost in the midst of their lack of identity. What is missed is that God creates in each of us a very special and unique gift to this world. There is no one on earth like us and only God can identify what our purpose is.

I see a lot of lack of identity in relationship abuse cases, or where there was childhood sexual abuse. It takes the power of God through His Holy Spirit to penetrate the darkness and deliver someone out of the shadows.

I remember hearing Joyce Meyer talking about how she used to try to be like others before God delivered her. She very humorously explained how one season she tried to plant a garden and bake things in the kitchen so she could be like her neighbor who did those things. The problem was, those were not the things God had in mind for her. She was not finding her identity in herself but in someone else. We can all be thankful that God delivered her from that because we all can now benefit from her wonderful teaching abilities!

I pray that you seriously ponder this and ask God if you are being true to yourself. Finding your true value in Him is the most precious healing you can obtain. Your purpose is waiting and your God given gifts are needed in this world. There is truly no one like you and no one could ever replace the beauty that God placed inside of you!

Father, I ask that You uncover what has been lost in the shadows of each person and deliver her from identity crisis. Show each one her special and unique gift. Give life to what is real and be the true power that leads each one back home to her own special place in the Kingdom. In Jesus’ love. Amen!

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries



You Are NOT What Others Say You Are!

beauty girl cryDoesn’t it seem like these days no matter what we do there is always someone who is unhappy about it? We’ve talked about differing opinions before. They are a dime a dozen (maybe with inflation a quarter a dozen)! We are our own self, a reflection of God’s unique creation.

Even in community doesn’t it seem like we all end up morphing into people who all start to look the same from the inside out? We are supposed to be around like minded people, but not to the extent where we morph into each other. The truth is, no matter how hard one might try, we can’t become someone else no matter how much we admire that person.

Sometimes we even compromise our uniqueness. We do this by people pleasing or feeling bad about ourselves when others don’t like something about us. We are a sensitive bunch, aren’t we? What about what YOU like about yourself? Even more, what about what God loves about you?

I like to talk about this subject because my primary ministry is to women affected by abuse and infidelity. Harshness, rejection, and lack of acceptance can send a person to tip the scales the wrong way in the uniqueness department. An abused woman or one who has been cheated on will go out of her way to please everyone around her just to overcompensate for her past lack of acceptance. There are a couple of hard realities when it comes to this.

  1. If she does this she will never heal and rediscover the true value of her real self the way God made her.
  2. No one can please everyone no matter how hard we try.

I’m going to give you some statements to keep you on the right track.

“I am how God made me, not what others say I am.”

” I am worth loving when I am just being myself.”

“The only one I truly need to please is God. Others will have to accept me as I am or not accept me at all.”

“I will not overcompensate just to make someone else happy with me, or compromise what I like, love, or desire in my life.”

“Other people’s thoughts about me are their own business, not mine.” (One of my personal favorites)!

Please don’t compromise the unique person that you are just to please someone else, or morph yourself into someone else’s idea of who you should be. Like what YOU like. Do the things YOU like to do. Remember that Jesus thought you were worth dying for, so please remember your value is immeasurable just the way you decide you want to be!

I challenge you today to not conform to any person’s abusive view of you! Do the healing work needed in order to overcome another person’s nastiness concerning who you are, what you like, your gifts and talents, your body image, and your self worth. Need prayer for this? Don’t be shy. Be bold enough to heal and call me! YOU can do this with God! Don’t put it off. You are NOT what others say you are. You are who GOD created you to be!

Also, stop trying to conform to another person’s image of who you should be. Go to God for healing. See once again who God created you to be! That image might be buried deep inside you but it is still there! Let others see the unique person you are, and even more, love yourself as you are!

Being ourselves together,

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

800-421-1765 for prayer