I’m not sure if this blog post is education or expression. Maybe it’s a little bit of both of them. That would not be altogether a bad thing, would it? Expression is important to us, especially when we direct it toward God. He listens and hears even when others pass us over. In fact, He listens to the silent pains of our hearts. Just like he did with Hannah. Hannah wanted to desperately have a child and she was taunted because she could not produce. Her pain was so intense that when she prayed she could not even get words out that could even match what was in her heart. So she silently prayed in anguish before God in the temple. She felt crushed and bruised on the inside and she felt rejected and forgotten by God.
1 Samuel 1:11 (12)
“Crushed in soul, Hannah prayed to God and cried and cried—inconsolably.”
“Hannah was praying in her heart, silently. Her lips moved, but no sound was heard.”
Sometimes we get like that. The issues we deal with in life are so hard that there are no words that can even express them. If we were to give them to people, they sure would not sound very good. Plus there comes a time when expressing to people no longer serves us and only God can console our hearts.
For Hannah, she just had to get it out to God, and in a way that was honest and true. Her silent petitions inconsolably went before Him in ways maybe human ears should never have heard. I’m sure her pain was overlooked by those who looked down on her for not being able to conceive a child during times when producing children identified a woman. God and God alone was her only option. I am sure she must have felt He was her last option. (He should have been her first option).
There she was, bearing her soul to the One who made her and understood her. She let out her hurt, her anger, her anxiety, depression, and sadness. Her words of promise went before Him. She requested if God would allow her to conceive she would dedicate her child to Him in service. God saw her, heard her, and met her in that place. He also granted her petition of faith and she conceived a child.
There is something about bearing our soul to God. It is a powerful move. His power and strength are shown great through our weakness and vulnerability. Don’t ever be afraid to be vulnerable before God. He knows you. He made you. If we want strength, and also to be heard, sometimes it takes a silent petition of the heart to God. Healing comes from bearing our soul. Sometimes we need to emotionally bleed out in order to remove old scars and allow healing to begin. This is what Hannah did. She bled out her heartache. Jesus did the same in the Garden of Gethsemane before He bore the cross. Both Hannah and Jesus had to accept the will of God after their petitions. One birthed a child, the other died on a cross and birthed us all. They bore their souls and God responded according to His perfect will.
If you are at a place of truly needing healing, and to be heard, and you have emptied your entire self to other people without understanding, maybe it is time to bear your soul to God? What does it solve to keep it inside of you? If you have prayed with others, talked your head blue, and wondered why things are not working with no results, then maybe it is time to drop to your knees and pray like Hannah. When you do, remind God of His promises and then accept His will. Be real. Be authentic. God knows it all anyway, so let it all rip. Believe me, it helps more than you might know.
Prayerfully on the journey,
Pastor Jenine Marie Howry