The concepts of “control” and “command” manifest significantly in our daily lives, influencing how we interact with others and navigate various situations. Control often arises from a desire to shape outcomes through forceful means, often driven by ego or personal interest. For instance, in a workplace setting, a manager might exert control over their team by micromanaging tasks and demanding adherence to specific processes. This approach can lead to resentment and disengagement among employees, as they may feel stifled rather than empowered.
In contrast, command is more about leading with integrity and vision. It draws on a deeper understanding of communal goals and the group’s well-being. A leader who commands inspires their team by clearly articulating a shared vision and aligning individual contributions with collective objectives. This form of leadership fosters an environment where team members feel valued and motivated to participate fully, cultivating trust and collaboration.
Control can also create a sense of anxiety and hostility in relationships. For example, when someone tries to control aspects of their partner’s behavior or choices, it often leads to conflict and resentment. People typically resist feeling controlled, which can lead to a breakdown in trust. On the other hand, when individuals choose to command in their relationships—by offering support, understanding, and shared decision-making—they nurture emotional bonds that encourage growth and intimacy.
In many cases, control stems from fear—fear of losing power, fear of uncertainty, or fear of failure. This fear can lead to defensive behaviors, in which individuals try to dominate situations rather than seek collaborative solutions. Command, however, emerges from courage and clarity. A person who commands their environment has the confidence to let go of micromanagement, allowing others to step up and shine, leading to more innovative and effective outcomes.
For families, the distinction between control and command can have lasting implications. Parents who exert control over their children may impose strict rules and expectations, often prioritizing compliance over understanding. This can hinder a child’s ability to develop their autonomy and decision-making skills. Conversely, parents who command with love and vision give their children the tools to navigate challenges independently, approaching parenting as a partnership that fosters growth and maturity.
In communities, control can lead to division and conflict, as those in power might impose regulations without considering the needs and aspirations of the people. When leaders shift from a controlling mindset to a commanding one, they prioritize dialogue and inclusiveness. By engaging community members in decision-making processes, leaders not only elevate collective morale but also enhance the effectiveness of their initiatives, as everyone involved feels invested in the outcome.
In the realm of personal development, understanding when we are trying to control versus when we are commanding our lives can be transformative. Control often leads to burnout, as the struggle to manage every aspect of one’s life can be overwhelming. In contrast, when individuals learn to command their actions with intentionality and purpose, they cultivate resilience and adaptability. This approach to personal growth encourages self-reflection and authentic connection with others.
Moreover, control often seeks immediate results while neglecting the long-term implications of such actions. Those who command, however, usually take a broader perspective, considering the future and the legacy they wish to create. This long-range vision not only benefits the individual but also positively impacts those around them, creating a ripple effect of inspiration and motivation.
Ultimately, the nuances between control and command underscore the importance of emotional intelligence in our interactions. Recognizing when we are attempting to control situations allows us to pause and reflect on our intentions. By focusing on command, we align ourselves with values of empathy and leadership that encourage collaboration and mutual benefit, enhancing the quality of our personal and professional relationships.
Are YOU the chosen one who will learn to command from the soul to benefit everyone for a better outcome?
Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry
References
Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Bantam Books.
Schein, E. H. (2010). Organizational Culture and Leadership. Jossey-Bass.
Zenger, J. H., & Folkman, J. (2019). The Inspiring Leader: Unlocking the Secrets of How Extraordinary Leaders Motivate. McGraw-Hill Professional.
Life Lessons by Jenine Marie 