When the “Respectable” Disrespect You

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Don’t ever allow anyone to disrespect you or misrepresent themselves to you. Just because some might belong to upstanding organizations does not mean that they are upstanding human beings. Also, everyone has their journey and process. We have a choice every single day as to what we follow and what we believe in. We also have a choice as to whom we will believe. Not everyone who portrays love and light really lives by it. Setting aside that we are all human and make mistakes we still need to use discernment when choosing those who surround us. Confidentiality is a very important aspect of deep friendship and security within it. Confidentiality is a tenant that is entrusted only through mutual respect that it will be upheld. When it is not, confidentiality means nothing, organizational membership means nothing, and relationship means nothing. When we take an oath to uphold certain tenants, it is done so before God and universal forces of law that will certainly watch over those oaths. Take every oath and every vow very seriously. It is a promise to God and the universe that those values will be upheld when they are spoken. Be sure God will not be mocked. Every man and woman is accountable to universal law and will reap what they sow. This is a message of love but also of concern. Please be very careful as to how you present yourself in this world and consider what type of integrity you want to uphold before others. Love and light, forgiveness, mercy, and grace be with you always.

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry

JenineMarie.com

Metaphysical practices to help overcome anxiety, depression and grief

Give Respect to Loved Ones While they are HERE

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When someone we have loved passes over the first thing we think of is the funeral. That old costly way that family, friends, loved ones, and not-so-loved ones show up to grieve their passing. For those of us who have had very close loved ones unexpectedly pass away it is a terrible last memory to have. I can’t even say how much I wish I did not have to see the lowering of my children’s caskets into the ground. The vision haunts me and the somberness of the moment just about traumatizes me.

The one thing that echos in my mind when I think of my crossed-over loved ones is they are still alive. They are just in another form without this clunky body to carry around with all of its earthly burdens. I’m willing to bet if we could just sit and ask how they are, they would say they are happy. If we were to ask them about the old funeral ritual I’m just about sure they will not be all that impressed by those who thought paying respect to them was meaningful after they left their bodies.

I shake my head when I think of the family arguments, and issues with so-called friends. Then there is the torment that happens after someone passes and people struggle with their funeral attendance. People get hurt because they can’t go, feel guilty when they don’t go, and others get upset when they do go. It’s all so ridiculous when I think about it. More issues are made about funerals than people need to create.

I have a better idea. Why not honor the people we love while they are here? As long as they know, and have known, we have loved them isn’t that what truly matters? Saying goodbye is not easy. I said goodbye to my daughter long before she was lowered into the ground. I did it in my heart. I know she felt it because love NEVER dies. Can we even imagine if I had not gone to my own daughter’s funeral? Of course, I felt I had to go. Society makes me feel that way. In all honesty, I would have been much better off without those last images in my mind. They cause me more grief than her passing. In all honesty, I could have done without the “sermon” given by an unknown pastor who never knew my daughter and could not possibly memorialize her. It was the same with my son. The more important issue is that they knew I loved them. My mother knew I loved her. I still love them! I always will.

Love the people who are here in body NOW. If you can’t see them then TELL them! Life always has a flow of its own and we can’t be all places at all times. Technology gives us the wonderful opportunity to give our loved ones those last “I love yous” we so long to give. Even without them, love already “knows”.

It’s just about insane to get all “butt hurt” because of funeral issues. As long as we know, and our loved ones knew. that love was there it’s all that has ever mattered. They live on. We don’t have to believe that but I do. I’m sure they can do without bickering over property left behind. who attends the funeral and whose presence is wanted or not. So leave the guilt behind. If you know in your heart the feelings that were there, then that is all that is important.

As for me; I think I will skip the funeral arrangements. My parents did the same. They were both cremated with no big funeral issue. Frankly, I adore them for that. I don’t see how gathering with people to cry would have made it all that better. I am skipping that part. I will be smiling in my new form, knowing those who loved me cared enough to respect me while I am HERE and not in a ritual where I am lowered into the ground and everyone has to watch.

Agree with me or not. It’s ok.

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry

Book and anxiety, depression, or grief session with me. See more information at JenineMarie.com

Honoring Others Decisions and Choices

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If you think this post is going to be about acceptance and boundaries, you are right! Both acceptance and boundaries go together with decisions and choices of others. They also apply to ourselves as well. As I write this, I have to say, as a mother it has been a hard lesson. I spent so many years of my life caring for my children it has been hard to get out of that mode. Once children become adults they have their own choices to make, create their own mistakes to learn from, and lead their own lives. Along with this comes boundaries regarding our children’s choices and lives. Advice is good, interfering not good and would have not a good ending.

Children who have grown also have the responsibility of their own autonomy; meaning they take responsibility of their own lives and the pitfalls of the bigger mistakes. It’s part of adulting and part of learning from mistakes. Within their mistakes there is no place for blame of others. Their lives become their own. Honoring their lives is our responsibility, with love, and with compassion even if we don’t understand.

Honoring decisions is a lesson with all people on earth. This includes choices as to whether we are vaccinated or not, as to what we choose to eat, what our vocation choice is and who we voted for. Yes, I just went there! We don’t choose who has a relationship with whom and we should not attempt to choose an individual’s relationship with themselves and the decisions they make. In the Bible the Apostle Paul supported the right to allow others their own journey. He instructed if we are to go to someone’s home for dinner and they choose to eat meat then honor their choice. For spirituality is not about whether we eat meat or not, but what we choose spiritually and how we treat one another. Let ‘s put it in todays terms. If I go on a Keto diet it basically is no one else’s business what I eat or don’t eat. No one can choose my husband and no one can choose who I vote for in any election. If I live a life of solitude for serenity then leave me in peace. If I choose a time to be social then respect my values and beliefs as I would yours.

Let me also put this universally and from God’s perspective. When any one of us refuses to embrace the life choices of another, we refuse also ourselves. We disrespect ourselves when we impose our views on others and we disrespect our oneness. We can advise and teach, not impose our values and ideas on others. We can have a conversation but that conversation should include grace and love, otherwise we should be ready to face reaping what we sow. Yes, I mean Karma in not such a good way. If we lack acceptance and respect or honor, we will receive the same back and many times over. It is our responsibility to agree to disagree with grace, style, and honor.

Even writing this I know some can go, “but what about this, or that?” What about it? Let me ask you this, “Is it your responsibility to rule the world, and if so, who gave you that job?” Part of diversity is accepting our diverse parts in society. Yes, you heard me, accept and also honor. You might not agree and that is alright. That means not pushing your agenda on others because you are so stuck in your “rightness” that you can not see the disrespect you are creating among your fellow humanity.

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, Ph.D.

Prosperity Lifestyle Magazine

Life Lessons by Jenine Marie

The Shoe is on the Other Foot

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It will happen. “The shoe will eventually end up on the other foot.” The statement, “The shoe is on the other foot,” means someone who had the disadvantage in a situation now has the advantage in some area. I don’t know why, but having a shoe on the other foot always makes me think I am wearing a shoe on the wrong foot! It’s not what it means though. It means a shift in power or placement in a life situation. It is Karma in it’s best example.

In other words, what goes around really comes back around. Its basic, easy to remember, and always works the same way. It’s a universal standard. On a deeper level, it’s a life lesson. For example, a person might be up for a promotion but brags over and over how they are better at their job than another coworker. That person might get the promotion and be very happy about it. Then they discover the coworker they put down also received a promotion, but now they are the individual’s BOSS! See how the shoe has ended up on the other foot? The advantage and the power has shifted.

Let’s put the example in a business relationship. A family owns a great Italian restaurant that features old fashioned Italian cooking. One side of the family suddenly decides they should change to more contemporary food items to keep up with the times. The restaurant is already making a great profit so the need to change does not seem warranted. A conflict arises and the contemporary Italian cooks decide to break off and start their own competing restaurant with an attitude of “We will show them!”

At first, it appears the new restaurant is going to do better. The public loves it! Yet, it turns out the newness of the contemporary way of cooking has worn off. The public always has curiosity about any new business and will go try it out. I know I love to do that! Suddenly the old style Italian restaurant begins to pick up in profits again, only this time they rise higher! The shoe is definitely on the other foot now.

This type of situation can only happen when there is conflict, competition, or an air of arrogance. It is about the intention of the heart or attitude. If there is an attitude of equality, love, respect, and admiration, there is never a feeling anyone is doing better than anyone else. The shoe can not be on the other foot if we are happy with our own shoes! In other words, be happy with where you are in life, otherwise change it! While you are changing it, have no superior attitude. Remember, life is not a competition with others. Life is meant to be lived in ease, with love, and no comparison. Embrace and celebrate others successes and be content with your own.

Hoping you are wearing your shoes on the right feet, and loving you from here!

Dr Rev Jenine Marie Howry, PhD