Concealed Weapons

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When something is concealed, it is hidden from human exposure. Concealing occurs to keep others from knowing something, either for our protection or for someone else’s destruction. Weapons are not always material. Sometimes they are hidden truths about ourselves we don’t want to expose. Often for our perceived protection, these also can bring just as much destruction once they are revealed.

When a person conceals things from others around them, they are not hiding anything. Every single item is exposed eventually. The fallout is hard, depending upon how long it was concealed. I know how much this hurts others. I’ve had things hidden from me. When they were discovered, the pain of the revelation was so much worse than the original issue.

Deeds concealed, justified by our inner thinking, can be worse than a real weapon because the fallout will kill the inner being of another person. When a wrong deed is done to someone, it hurts. When it is concealed and exposed, it kills. Let me explain. We all have soul scars and boundaries. Soul scars are not so great. They are covered over wounds that are also concealed, but often even to ourselves. When a concealed deed hits the soul scar of another person, the result is the opening of the wound. This makes the exposed act worse than a real shot in the stomach. It bleeds out all of the inner injuries from before and multiplies the effect of what was revealed.

Humans can’t stand exposure. It reveals something terrible about their character. Even worse, they blame the very person they hurt because they often don’t want to take responsibility. This is a “garden of Eden” situation. Adam and Eve concealed the weapon they disobeyed God. Once revealed, the painful part of the exposure was so much worse than if they had just been honest about it. They suffered the consequences for many generations over and over.

Yet, God covered them. This does not mean God made it alright to conceal things. They suffered greatly. They were forgiven, but the fallout from their concealed weapon was more than they bargained for. Adam had to toil and work hard for a living that God had previously gifted to him. Eve had to have painful childbirth women still experience today. Childbirth is a joyful experience, but like everything else that is birthing, it comes with pain and sorrow.

This is the fallout of the concealed weapon. Information is discovered about it, and the bullet causes pain for years to follow. What is even worse, we often don’t take responsibility for our own things we purposefully hide. We tend to justify as to why it is right. Believe me; it is never right. Concealed weapons will even bite its owner. Remember the snake in the garden of Eden story? The snake struck the heel of humans. It’s a snake bite that can hurt for a long time. The good news is the snake was also stomped upon. Although the pain of the bite was present, the victory is in the truth.

Symbolically Adams’ crushing of the snakes head stands for victory when truth wins out. This only comes from the love of God when covering happens. Don’t mistake covering for concealing. Every deed is exposed in the light of God. Covering occurs when, after exposure, repentance and forgiveness occurs. God will never help us hide our weapons. God’s desire is for us to walk uprightly and free. We can not be open when we conceal our guns. If we think so, we are kidding ourselves. The only way to freedom is through exposure.

First we have to face our own inner concealed weapons. Then expose them through speaking the truth about them. Repent, be sorry for hiding things from others that we know would hurt them if they knew. Then take the discipline and the lesson that comes from concealing and hiding something. It might be hard to take, but its better than God exposing it for us later. Sometimes we are unwilling to face our own demons, so to speak. It’s much better than God’s light shining upon them for everyone to see. Don’t allow concealed weapons to kill others and yourself. Take the fallout now and confess your gun. It is so much easier now than allowing God to pull it out and shine a light upon it.

I remember this in a previous relationship. God exposed infidelity. The wound for me was crushing, but the exposure for the other was so much worse than anything I might have felt. It was exposed openly for everyone to see. Do you want this for yourself or others? Maybe its time to pull out our weapons and lay them down at the feet of the One who knows it all anyway. Even more, expose it before it gets told for you. This is done out of love. It might not seem like it, but it is. God never wants His creation to have to carry such a heavy responsibility. It takes a lot of heavy lifting to keep those weapons concealed. One will build upon another. Confess it all, and deal with what you need to deal with. In the long run, your life will be so much lighter!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

Unpack the Inner Baggage

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Everyone, I mean everyone, has emotional baggage from something somewhere. We are born into this world with innocence, and on the way, we absorb what comes from our families, society, friends, and circumstances we find ourselves in. Some things might be beyond our control, and others we brought on ourselves. We tend to live and act out of the junk the accumulates inside of us.

The first thing we all tend to do is blame. Humans are so good at the blame game. “My ex-wife/husband treated me poorly,” “My parents were not good parents,” “I was abused and raped as a teen.” Whereas these things are traumatic and can be quite horrible, we don’t need to live in a reflection of them.

One of the other things we tend to do besides blame is numb the feelings that spawn out of the issues. We become addicted to substances, material things, bad relationships, food, individual behaviors, hiding our emotions, and put ourselves down.

Life does not have to be this way. Our primary responsibility to ourselves is to excavate past the junk we pick up along the way, deal with it, throw it out, and find the true essence of who we really are.

Our divine nature is one of love and light. We were created to shine out of those elements. The other sludge we pick up along the way only serves to dim the brilliance of who we really are. The spark of fire we carry comes from all of the elements we find around us. Our bodies function and are made of air, water, and elemental nutrients that are also found in the earth.

The soul body carries the spark of our Creator. We are love, laughter, joy, patience, kindness, strength, and creativity. From within each of us is the capacity to manifest greatness. We carry within us the temple of God. All together, we create an image of the divine. True divinity is humble in nature, never puffed up nor prideful. We are creators in our own right and should be created out of the foundation God made us from.

Our responsibility to ourselves and others is to clear the clutter, unpack the baggage, and shine the way we are meant to shine! Nothing is stopping any one of us, accept ourselves. We get in our manner. Humans tend to love and protect the wrong things. We think we have to hide our insecurities, our hurts, and our soul scars. So we watch them instead of releasing them.

Under all of the clutter, all of us are free. We think and even believe our freedom comes from the outside and the conditions we live in. Not so. Our freedom comes from unpacking the baggage we have locked inside of us for so long, and becoming the true nature of who God created us to be. Together, with God and each other, we rise!

Most of society just does not get this yet. So we see people living in a constant state of trying to shift the outside of themselves. The human race is not going to evolve out of the bitterness, disharmony, agenda pushing, and blaming, everyone seems to be accustomed to. We rise from beginning with ourselves.

Today, do yourself the most outstanding service you could ever do. Unpack the baggage and choose to live from the light of our Creator, live from the inside out. Be the peace you want to see in this world, and suddenly you will see peace everywhere you go! We are who we believe ourselves to be. What if every person decided to unpack their baggage, stop blaming, and started shining?

Loving you from here,

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries, LLC

My Newest Meditation Audio-Video “Moving Into Blessing”

Do you feel like your life has been slightly lately or filled with clouds of negativity? I have a new audio/video on YouTube called “Moving Into Blessing”. It’s only 8 minutes long but will help you shift your thoughts and dreams quickly. Use it often and move your life from negative circumstances to blessing. If you have a dream for that special something in your life, or to attract blessing in general, this is for you! Don’t underestimate it. It works!

Moving Into Blessing

Music by Silencio Music

Graphic by Giphy

Loving you from here!

Dr Rev Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries LLC

Racial Tension Back in the Days of Integration in Schools: My Own Experience

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A person would have to be hiding in a cocoon to not see the racial issues that have been going on in our world today. Some things are hard to watch, others endearing, and some inspiring. As I think about racial events taking place in our country, I am reminded of a saying coined by an old black slave preacher as told by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., “Lord, we ain’t what we oughta be. We ain’t what we want to be. We ain’t what we gonna be. But, thank God, we ain’t what we was.” Dr King was almost magical in how he passionately spoke.

My story from back in the 70’s during school integration and busing is a bit different than the ones we hear and see on television today. I really was not sure I wanted to write about it, but how could I not? In the early 1970’s I was in Junior High School. Some call it “Middle School”. For the most part my memories are good ones. School integration and busing children back and forth, on the other hand, was not an easy issue in those days. The idea was to place black children in primarily white schools and the other way around. The concept was a good one. I know the intention was to promote equality in education and experience.

In my area, Oakland, California, it was often an angry situation on both ends, white and black. I believe children are socially taught ether by society or parents. Children are not born with a sense of prejudice. It is a learned behavior. During the integration days the parents were ticked off, outraged and down right nasty about it all. Not everyone agreed that integration was a good idea. Since the parents were so angry, the kids were as well. According to my experience, what we had was a whole load of angry black teens getting off buses met with a lot of angry white teens who felt they were invaded. A mess is what we had. That leads me to my personal experience.

Let me give you some background. I was a shy little girl who evolved into a shy teen with light blonde hair and obviously white. I had my small group of friends and that was the extent of my social interaction. I was not really even allowed to date at the ages of 14 and 15 but that did not mean I did not try! In fact, a lot of black boys were very attracted to me, and probably more outgoing than most of the white teen boys I went to school with. The problem with that was it made the black girls extremely angry at me. So, what usually occurred is a lot of prejudice and anger slung in my face; and I mean right in my face. There was one girl who made it her personal goal to say something racially angry at me every single school day of my life. It usually consisted of “There she is, that pretty little white girl with her nails, and make up and cute little self thinking she is all that”. It was followed by angry looks, sneers, threats of violence, and some comments by her group of friends that all seemed to back her up whatever she did. If a teacher saw it they usually just told her to get to class.

I never said a thing to her. In fact, usually my friends would just ask her to knock it off, mentioning I never did anything to her, or any of them. I only went into my locker, exchanged my books, got to class, dressed for gym, tried my best, and kept myself quiet. I was not afraid, but I felt very very hurt. I never let it show but when I was at home in my bed at night I cried constantly. I could not stand the thought of facing it one more day, but I did. I faced it for two years of my life, all the way to graduation from Junior High.

Then we came to the day where yearbooks came out and we were all anxious to get that week over so summer can start. After summer a whole new world of High School was in front of us. I was walking down the hall with my friends as usual only this time I was carrying my new yearbook. Of course, here they came, my little group of mean girls  and their ring leader. The meanest one looked at my yearbook and asked if she could sign it. I think my friends mouths must have dropped to the floor. I had no idea because I never turned my back unless I had a destination. Onlookers were probably even more astounded because I handed it to her and said yes. She did sign it. Before I could read it one of her friends asked to sign it to. I agreed. She read what the other wrote and immediately turned to her and said, “We are all graduating. Now why do you want to go and say something like that in her yearbook?” I just stood there while the other girl began to write in my book. Her name was Pam. I will never forget it. You see, she used to say mean things to me as well, but I never returned a sound to her. I expected to read things I really did not want to read from either of them. Yet, when I went off to get my ride on the bus I read them both. The first mouthy girl wrote something mean and hurtful, but not Pam. Pam wrote the most kind expression of good will to me that I had heard or even read since the whole school issue began. I really don’t remember the name of the other girl or her other group of  friends. It was a long time ago.

You see, we might not remember names but we certainly remember actions; especially ones that hurt us. We also remember the actions of those who are the most kind. Sometimes we remember their names too. Pam had written, “it was great going to school with me and she wished the best for me in my future”, then she walked off. I went my own way as well.

During those angry days of integration, I don’t think any of us younger people really knew why anyone was so angry to be mixed together. As for me; all I wanted to do was to be kind to everyone and have them all get along. I remember wondering why it was so hard. You see, I really did not mind having diverse people bused into the same school. I just did not want the heartache. Here it is 2020 and I still remember those days like they were yesterday. I refused to have anger or hatred for anyone because of their ethnicity. I certainly don’t want to come off like I was some sort of saint. I know I have never been that. Honestly I did not know what to say because it felt like it would not matter. Then there were the angry faces all bigger than me and more intimidating.

I will say this though, “Wherever you are Pam, I love you. You healed my heart that day”. Writing this is not about blame. I’m a little more bold now, as you might tell. I guess writing this is to say that racial issues and prejudice go both ways. The hurt is the same because we are all people. I wonder why we have such a hard time seeing when one person is affected, we are all affected. I suppose had I provoked some of it, I would feel I should be sorry, but I didn’t. I was judged by the color of my skin and my obvious light blonde hair. I was not someone of extreme privilege at that time. I came from a broken home. I was broken at home and broken at school.

I’m crying now. I’m sorry our country is struggling so much with this and has for so long. I am an empath; I feel literally everything. I’m sorry people judge one another by the color of their skin. I’m sorry slavery happened. I’m sorry we never seemed to understand. I don’t want to generalize but I will say that there are more of us who just want peace than those who don’t. There are more of us who pray for understanding than those who don’t. There are more of us who just want what is right than those who don’t. We just need to be more like Pam and be peace makers and heal. It takes way too much more energy to hate than it does to heal.

Loving you all from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

Citation: King, Martin Luther, (2014). “A Promise Unfulfilled: 1962 MLK Speech Recording is Discovered”. https://www.npr.org/2014/01/20/264226759/a-promise-unfulfilled-1962-mlk-speech-recording-is-discovered

 

New Blog Title! “Life Lessons by Jenine Marie”

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Hello to everyone! I love that you are my subscriber! Having you read my blog is such an honor! This blog has finally gone over 900 viewers. I want to make it 900,000! Or even more! In the meantime I am changing the title to “Life Lessons by Jenine Marie”. I feel this title better suits who I am and future projects I have in mind! I hope you don’t mind the change! I want to keep you dear and near to me!

I love you all from here!

Dr Jenine Marie Howry

832-484-8306

Book some life giving time with me!

YOU Are Not a Lemon. Don’t Allow Anyone to Squeeze the Life Out of You!

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Lemons are amazing fruits. Detoxing daily with them can bring very good results for your body. Just some warm water or tea with fresh squeezed lemon can help your digestion, aid in preventing kidney stones and even help lose weight.

I watched myself squeeze a lemon into a glass of warm water one day and all of the life sustaining pulp and juices that started to flow out of the fruit. I even have a lemon squeezer that helps in this process. Since I seem to get messages out of life’s experiences this was no exception. I thought to myself, “Sometimes it feels like there have been people who have just squeezed the life out of me.”

Just like the lemon, when this happens, the life sustaining juices seem to get dumped into a place we don’t want life to take us. It’s so easy to become bitter as the lemon tastes. Yet, lemons do have a degree of sweetness to them as well. When toxic people cause a squeeze on our lives it’s important to remember that sweetness still resides in the waters. Life can feel bitter and distasteful sometimes.

Back away from all toxic experiences that feel like a huge lemon squeeze. Let sweetness still abide in the inner places of your being and even the sourness will become helpful to you in the days to come. We all need sour experiences to allow us to see where there is sourness inside of us. We can deal with it without having the life squeezed out of us.

In life’s big bowl of fruit you are the best lemons ever created. We all carry sweetness and sourness within us. The challenge is to process the sour parts before life sends us a lemon squeezer in the form of another person to do that work for us. Think about this very carefully. Karma is there to teach you. God will teach you. If you listen and heed the warnings before the lemon press is sent to give you more than a little squeeze.

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

832-484-8306

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries, LLC 

**The name of my blog will be changed to “Life Lessons by Jenine Marie”. Embrace change!

A Time for All Things Under Heaven

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This is certainly a time in history where it almost feels like the earth is birthing. Seems we have been in labor for a very long time now. We have seen wars come and go, trends cycle and come back, and technology expound into things we never dreamed of in days that have passed. Some call it the end times, others a time of new beginnings. I suppose we all see it through the eyes of our own beliefs and perspectives.

The Bible tells us there is a time for all things under heaven. Through my eyes its a time of joy and a time of weeping. Some things are hard to watch and others are joyous and loving. I’m not sure they are both balanced equally. Maybe only God knows that equation.

I do know things are changing. We are changing. Our hope is we change in a good way. Maybe we can heal wounds, uplift our faith, listen more, and have more empathy. Our hearts all ache and rejoice at the same time. Change and labor is always hard. Usually it all comes with a lot of wounded emotions and tears. We do have hope though! Joy always comes after the hardest parts. I know I felt that joy when my babies came out of me and I held them the first time in my life. Maybe we will get that joy from God as He holds us closely after the hard part is over?

For now we see violence and destruction, but also deep conversations and understanding. It’s hard not to be angry when labor becomes more than we think we can bear. Since the promise to us from God is we will never be given more than we can bear, then we know we will make it. I know our tears are a watering place where healing and love can begin where it has been lacking.

When the season gets to be more than we wish it ever was, remember that this too shall pass. All things pass; this is no different. Our season is just that; seasoning brings flavor to things that are bland and in need of work. If we do the work, we will have the reward.

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

CEO Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries LLC 

Choices We Make That Empower Us

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I entitled this blog post the way it is because I was thinking about choices this morning. My meditative practice was harder than usual because I had so many things swirling around in my brain. As it settled, some interesting thoughts came to me. Even though I don’t believe anyone should live in the past, I do believe the past has lessons we can still learn and sometimes those lessons even define who we eventually are.

A long time ago I worked for a commercial bank called Bay Bank of Commerce in San Leandro, CA. I think the years were somewhere around 1982. I was a single mother with one small son at the time. I loved that bank. I loved the way I was treated by those who founded it and those who appreciated me as a young professional. I have to thank the CEO and founder @DickKahler for the opportunity I was given. I was only there maybe close to 2 years, and worked in the commercial real estate loan processing department. Unfortunately, one person who worked above me gave me a very difficult time during a pregnancy that was pretty delicate. After some careful consideration I had to quit my job there.

No way had that move ever reflected on the wonderful way that commercial bank was built or how business was executed. I knew I had the finest of the best in the business. Yet, I had to stand up for myself due to one person’s treatment. I was a pretty shy and very unassuming person at the time. I have to say, quitting without another job to hang onto was not an easy prospect. It really took a lot of faith. Actually, it built my faith.

I went on to build a family, was married and then divorced. For many years I raised five children on my own with no real help from anyone. After consulting with a superior court family judge, I decided to educate myself. Her advice was straight on for me. Judge Chew, wherever you are, I LOVE YOU! I started at the community college level but that was only the beginning. My education took me to places I never thought I would be.

I was accepted by a pilot program through Stanford University in California. I studied with students from various places on the globe. I did some of my trans-personal/spiritual internship at Mt Madonna, CA. I graduated with a liberal arts degree with emphasis on psychology and human behavior through Southern New Hampshire University. I have three degrees in theological study leading to a Master’s from Grand Canyon University along with 3 years of Clinical Psychology study, and a Doctorate from the University of Sedona. I am excited to have studied in classes conducted by Harvard University. I also have learned from some wonderful spiritual, philosophical teachers from Daytona Beach, Boca Raton, and Miami, Florida. Much of my study led to certifications in Life Coaching, Trans-personal Counseling, Holistic Healing, and Hypnotherapy. Yes, I have a lot of education!

I was surprisingly privileged to conduct a class, a church service, and speak before some of our country’s leaders during one of the dedication moments near Arlington Cemetery on Memorial Day weekend. I was honored to be the Pastor of two small group churches, speak in local places of worship, and now I meet the most amazing people on earth that I call “my clients.”

My major point here is that one move to step into my own personal power, along with the power of God, created who I am today. I am assertive in ways I never would have been had it not occurred. It might seem simple and small, but it created a domino affect of so much more than I could have ever dreamed of. In fact, it changed my life. Over the course of time I have made good decisions and not so good. Fact remains that one step of empowerment made all of the difference in the world.

Don’t ever underestimate your own power to make decisions that could define the rest of your life. Step into it. Yes, you might step into some thick mud but lotus flowers bloom in thick mud, and so can you!

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

832-484-8306

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries, LLC 

**Special thank you to @DickKahler, @BayBankofCommerce (Sad to say the bank is now closed)

Getting Real With the Word “Toxic”

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The word toxic has become a buzzword lately when it comes to a certain kind of relationship. Toxic in the original sense means something that is poisonous or potentially harmful in a chemical. Now, the word toxic, being applied to relationships has come to be known as something that is abusive or corruptive.

What I am seeing and sensing, though, is the word has gone crazy out of hand. Now the word toxic is being used any time someone believes something different from someone else. Or, if there is any difference of opinion. One person might like something and someone else not like it at all. Now, this somehow has become known to be a toxic relationship.

Or, a toxic relationship has been identified as one person being abusive to another. Although abuse does occur, the sensitivity of certain situations has become vastly misused. We are being taught to stay away from those who differ or do not agree on one situation or another. One person is considered to be toxic to another if they feel their opinion or attitude will hinder them in some way. This is such a misuse of what God has intended for relationships. Not to mention, no one can affect another on the inside of them unless they allow it.

God does not want us to distance ourselves because of differing opinions. In fact, the Apostle Paul taught if one person eats pork and another does not then not to judge the one who eats pork. What he was saying is to just allow people to be themselves and if they differ not to judge them. Even better yet, not to distance from them or take offense because of differences. Our differences are what make us unique and amazing even if they are hard to deal with or work through. In married situations our struggles are what help us come to an understanding of one another. Sometimes the struggle is real and even very hard. Yet, its hard when two people try to come to an understanding or meeting of the minds with one another when they have been very wounded deep inside.

We carry our wounds and sometimes wave them like badges of courage when we should be healing them. Our conflicts are what exposes them. This is an opportunity to heal them together. It is a hard lesson to learn and we all have to learn it. It’s so much easier to just push away, but who will ever heal and become stronger that way? No one.

Maybe we can put the word toxic back in its place and not apply it to human beings? Toxic can be poison if it likes, but people are not poison. Humans were created to be a gift even if they are differing in opinions or even misbehaving. Although we are not encouraged to take abuse, we should love the person and not the actions. Realize our actions come from a place inside that have been learned in society over time. Relearning the best way to live, love, and be, takes time and encouragement. Push them away and you have not created victory. What you have done is allow wounds to remain unhealed. It’s brave to expose one another and sometimes confrontation is hard. Confrontation is the only way to come to a meeting of the minds sometimes. Understanding is what Paul taught us to have, not isolating from one another.

Loving you from here (and not being toxic)

Dr Jenine Marie Howry

 

The Gifts

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Some things in life seem so little but mean so much. Even with all of the junk that goes on in our world today, the true human heart always rises above it all when love abounds. Whatever you do, don’t take anything in this life for granted, especially when it comes to those closest to you. We are but a whisper in time on this planet and then we are gone. When we are young it seems like so much time is ahead. Yet, the older we get it feels like time begins to wind down. Make time count, even with little things.

When I was in grammar school we made tie clips for our Dads for Father’s Day. I love those school made gifts, don’t you? I remember when he opened it. His face lit up like it was the greatest thing he ever saw! I think I was about 8 years old. Later in life he passed away due to lung cancer. While looking through some of his things the first thing that stood out to me was that tie clip! Dad kept it all that time! I think by then I was in my 30’s. I still have it. Every time I look at it, I tear up. It obviously was a gift that meant a lot to him to save it so long.

Some things might seem insignificant but the love and thoughts behind them certainly are not. I still have Mother’s Day and Christmas gifts my children made when they were in grammar school. My boxes are filled with hand prints, handmade candles, photos of my kids glued to Christmas ornaments and paintings on large rolls of paper. Over the years the gifts evolved into things that reflect our faith, love, and sense of family. I still have all of those things, including necklaces and special rings my son used to get out of a gumball machine using the change from his lunch money. For awhile he did this daily. I can’t ever forget the smile on his face every time he gave me one. It was always like the first time.

Another precious gift I have is a plastic bag with locks of my hair when I was small child. The hair was from my first haircut that my mother saved in her bible. It’s still there. When times seem challenging, these are the gifts to my heart that mean so much to me. Sometimes I smile, knowing one day my children will open a box filled with things I have saved for many years and understand how much I have cherished every gift and part of their lives. They have been my gifts. More precious than gold, and more loved than life itself. The very most precious of memories to me were the moments I held each of them the very first time. Their eyes so filled with light, right from heaven, the greatest gifts of love I’ve ever known.

Loving you all from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry

and…Mom