Every Child Born is in Divine Timing

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I was told, as the story goes, I was not expected to be here. I guess better words are my parents never thought they could have another child after my sister. I was supposed to be here though. Maybe I taught my parents about miracles? I’m not sure, it was their lesson. My lesson has been about divine timing. Do you ever get the feeling God puts us together in circles of others like puzzle pieces to make a bigger picture?

I’m not sure creating a huge puzzle is God’s intention regarding creation but I do know we are no good without each other. Without one of us a piece is missing. When I was 21 years old I gave birth to a son. I was stretched in my ability to be a new mother and yet blessed to have him for 20 years. It’s hard to imagine someone coming into our lives and then having to leave after just 20 years. It’s a long time, two decades, but a small amount of time to have a son on the earth.

I often wondered if he was born at the wrong time, but that would disrupt my belief we all have divine timing and a purpose. I’m not sure my son found his purpose, and I’m still not even sure I have found the lesson I learned as his mother. Patience is always a lesson but maybe strength is a better one to speak of here. I raised him mostly on my own. I saw things in myself I did not like and things that I never thought possible in myself.

His timing was never a mistake. God does not make those kind of mistakes. Having him and each of my children was a glimmer of hope that this world could be a better place just by bringing in someone new. I suppose I never thought I was giving birth to my future but my children aligned my future for sure.

Birth itself is a miraculous thing. It’s not easy but God always blessed me with joy after the sorrow. Isn’t God just like that? We go through sorrows but joy always comes as a result. Maybe sometimes that joy is simply relief. Maybe sometimes it is hope being revealed. Every child is a divine reason to have joy. I believe each one of us was born at just the right time, the right place, for the right reasons. Our earthly minds can’t always perceive those things but the higher part of ourselves can come to understand God’s wisdom within it all. It’s great to be a creator with God, isn’t it?

One night, over 2000 years ago, a little baby was born and His life seemed to be far before the world’s time. Yet His purpose was right on time. His death was on time as well. God knows the number of our days before we even come here. I think if we knew them we would never learn or teach the lessons we are here for.

Every single child, person, individual, is born at the right time, the right place, and for the right reason. It does not matter how the child gets here. Remember Jesus was born out of wedlock, was raised by a step father, His conception not planned by human timing, but His coming was divine and right on time.

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries LLC


Childhood Sexual Abuse: A Prayer to Begin Healing

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I know, childhood sexual abuse is not an easy subject to talk about, especially when so many people go to such great lengths to hide it and stuff it away. It’s never hidden as much as anyone thinks it is though. Of course God knows. God knows everything. Children eventually grow up to be adults and they become aware what happened to them was not right. Until then, the issue is usually stuffed somewhere continually adding to soul scarring. Life moves on and people get caught up with whatever it is that is being attended to at the time. There is always something, but deep inside the issue is still brewing.

It’s easy to pass it off because it only happened once, or maybe it will heal with enough love from someone else. Maybe God will heal it? Yet, unless it is discussed and dealt with it never gets healed. This is the truth. God can know but there are others who know. There is the victim and the one who did the person wrong. They know. Usually other family members do as well but don’t want to admit it. It gets shamefully stuffed under some seemingly magic carpet and no one talks about it.

Then as the victim grows up there are signs that come to the surface that everyone wants to point fingers at. Maybe the victim carries too much protective weight, or sometimes their life suddenly seems to be in disarray and no one understands, not even the one abused. Fear keeps it all under a boiling pot and a lid is put on the surface. For the victim it’s always fear of being shamed, people getting angry at them, leaving them, or even worse harming them. For the abuser the fear is always shame as well but with that comes fear of exposure for what they are and the hurt they caused.

I know this sounds hard but the best thing that could ever happen is for the lid to be taken off the boiling pot. Unfortunately it has to be the victim who has to become strong enough to make that move. Yet, it is the best thing that could ever happen. Only the truth sets people free and only the truth can allow things to be healed. Keeping things held tightly will only keep the soul sick for both victim and the abuser. Only soul sickness can cause soul sickness upon someone else.

I want to start the process of healing for you if you are a victim of childhood sexual abuse and offer this prayer. I hope it will give you an opportunity and strength to confront the truth with the one who caused the most damage, the abuser.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Your love and grace endure forever. For all of those reading who have endured sexual abuse as a child, I ask for the courage to be honest with what they have endured. Lead them to still waters with someone who will listen and will have compassion upon them. Father, You have witnessed it all. It will be exposed now or later but it will always be exposed. I also ask for those abused to have courage to safely confront the abuser if this is possible. Victory in all areas of abuse brings the biggest healing that could happen. Forgive the abuser Father. Give that person the ability to face what they have done and to be sorrowful for the harm they have caused. Sexual abuse might happen for a small period of time but the effects can last a lifetime. Father, heal your sons and daughters all the way to the soul level and beyond. Bring peace where there has been no peace. Bring humility where there has been no repentance. Please bring wholeness where healing begins. Surround Your children with love and compassion but I ask that You also bring discipline to the one who has caused more pain then they want to admit to themselves.

We thank you, Father, that you are a caring and miraculous God. Let the healing and the hope begin right now, at this moment. May tears fall and may they water the gardens of those who need Your help and healing touch. We love you, dear God.

Amen and amen

As always, I love you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie Howry, PhD

Let the Children Be in Peace

Rev Jenine MarieI think this blog post is going to be a little spewing out. I wanted to write something else because I am trying to keep my series of subjects on my blog aligned with a video subject and something empowering in audio. I’m sure I will work that out but when I have something in my craw there is no stopping my mouth even if it is in type. If you have read my blog at all , you know how I feel about bullying. As I read about cyber attacks on our new president’s son and his wife, I had that sick feeling inside my stomach. I hate that junk.

Honestly, I don’t care if you like them or not. What I do care about is respecting them even when we disagree. I mean, that is what we all personally want, right? I know I want respect. I’m sure our president’s son does not feel good when adults go into attack mode regarding  opinions of his father, the position, or family life. After all, who really knows about the family life of the Trumps? None of us do. Neither here nor there.

Here is my point: leave the kid alone. Doesn’t he have enough weighing on his shoulders at his young age? Let him be a child. Growing up is hard. There are so many emotions to deal with as we mature. Don’t you remember some of yours? I know that I remember some of mine! They become life long lessons that we have to work on later as time goes by.

Here is the bottom line of this post: Bullying whether in person or online is inexcusable. We can’t really stop it because people will be who they are no matter what we say about the subject. I’m sure others are not going to change their mind and be kind just because I have said so. We all have opinions , that’s for sure. My shock is that our president’s son suffered a cyber “put down” by an ADULT. Don’t we think its time we grew up?

Jesus let us all know how He feels about being unkind to the little children. A person is better off just tying themselves to a lump of concrete and throwing themselves over the edge of a bridge.(Basically His words not mine.) I’m not suggesting that, it’s just that Jesus was saying, DON’T MESS WITH THEM! The future of our world, and our next generation depends on their sanity. Do we really want to mess with that? I mean, one day we will all be older and our lives will be in the hands of the ones who we raised up for this generation. Do we want them to be as cruel to us as some have been to them?

I think we should reconsider, be slow to speak, and walk out love the best way we can. I know this comes off as a rant, but what good is being a woman of faith if I can’t express my  disdain over the cruelty of others. Let’s protect the children and give them a chance to grow up loving instead of giving them the worst example of us as an older generation. Iv’e watched bullying going on when my kids were growing up. It is painful to watch. Do we want to create that pain that will some day become anger?

It’s not a wise decision to raise a bunch of angry children who will some day make decisions regarding world peace and the nuclear bomb. Give that a thought for a moment.

Just a rant from the heart,

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry


Woman To Struggling Woman

single-parent-2aI remember having a neighbor who was a single mom of a couple teen aged kids. I could feel the stress without even knowing her because I was a single mom with five kids in years gone by. It is not an easy position to hold in this world. Single mothers get battered by society a great deal. People don’t always know this because we don’t always talk about it. I know I didn’t talk about it too much because I did not want to be judged for mistakes I knew I made and times I knew I fell short. Life was hard enough without any added judgement stress.  It’s a struggle. Anyway, the neighbor I am speaking of was obviously in a struggle all of the time and I know most of us could hear her struggle from across the street and down the block. Her lights were on from early in the morning until late at night and I wondered if this woman ever slept at all.

I also heard the neighborhood speculations, criticism, judgements, and scorn that people placed upon her. I felt bad to hear about it, and even worse, that I did not have the courage at the time to do something that might have helped her. I often watched her with her children rushing them into the car, yelling for them to hurry up or they would be late, or sometimes warning them to do something or some consequence was going to occur. I heard over and over from fellow neighbors what an abusive person she was and how horrible it must be for her children.

In Comparison:

Not long ago in Texas there was an incident where a bunch of teens were throwing stones at police officers because of outrage concerning a recent racial issue. Our local news station broadcasted a woman who had recognized her son in the crowd, I think attempting to throw rocks at police officers. The reporter and camera swung over to this “mad mama” just in time to catch her grabbing her son by the scruff of the collar, screaming and yelling at him, threatening him ultimate punishment and pushing him along to get him home. Anyone watching this scenario knew that young man was going to catch holy heck the moment he got home! The praise that went out regarding that mom was massive! The feeling was that there would be one less young man that society was going to have to worry about, either now or later on in life, because his mama made sure his discipline was fast and strict. She won the admiration of many. Oh there were scoffers too, but mostly admiration.

Here’s the question…

I had to wonder what the difference was between that mom who went to physically grab her son and the neighbor woman I had who basically was doing the same thing. Before I go further, I want to say, that in no way shape or form do I ever want to imply that abuse of another human being, especially a child, is alright. What I do want to say, is that we do not know or understand what is going on in another families situation. We don’t know what single mothers are going through and we do not know what is going on with the children or teens merely by speculation. The Bible tells us that we “know in part”. This means every situation, when it comes to people, has hidden things just like God has hidden mysteries. We can never properly discern a distant situation and say we know all things about it. We can not even discern all things close to us and say we know  everything. People have hidden things in their hearts and only God alone knows those hidden things.

We have wounds, scars, issues, confusion, and more. So, how can we not have compassion on those who obviously are struggling? Women who are mothers and have to care for their children alone are already scarred by the things she has had to suffer that caused her to be a single mother. She also carries scars from the things that society also will cause her to suffer just trying to get through every passing day and make it to the next. Single mothers are brave human beings. We get up earlier than everyone else because we are the ones who get everyone started. We go to bed later because we are the ones who will make sure things are safe for everyone to lay down to rest. We prepare for the next day,  create strategy for the future of our children, and fight the continual battles that come at us from every single direction. We work harder than anyone can imagine with very little recognition along the way. Then the even harder part is we do it fighting the rest of the world all the way.

I wonder if anyone thought of my past neighbor as a hero? I wonder if anyone ever thought of me as a hero? I did not even know that I was or that I am. I do now.

Ladies, part of being powerful is remembering to empower each other by acceptance, assistance, and understanding. Granted, these days when we offer a struggling single mother assistance we might get our head chewed off. I think it can be expected. After all, look how society probably has judged and made it hard for her. I know, because I remember the neighbor families who talked about the woman I lived near. I also know because I heard the whispers that went around about myself from neighbors when I was in that position. If we ever want to see women surpass the pressures we go through in this life, we have to learn to not press one another down. Bottom line, we have to see ourselves in each other, because we are one another. Our situations might not all be the same but we all have one. We were made by God with the same job to do and we were also meant to help one another while the men went to battle the forces and feed the village in centuries past.

Think about how much easier life can be if we choose willingly to lift one another up, help each other succeed, and give understanding to one another in our struggles. Can you imagine a world that much easier? I know I can. A thought to ponder….

Sincerely Yours,

Rev. Jenine Marie Howry

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