Are You a Fraction of Yourself?

IMG_20171023_130408I would hate to be laying in that space between this life and mortal death with deep regrets over all of the things I wish I had explored in this life, but did not. Every now and then I think of this. Would I regret some of my choices or lack of choices? I wonder what I might of done or been but did not think myself worthy, or did not take the time. I even wonder more if I would have missed the boat on something special because others did not approve of what I was becoming, believing, or doing.

Remember that old quote “To thine own self be true?” Have you even asked your “self” what it wants or desires right now? Or have you asked and know what it is but are afraid to pursue it? We can always look outside of ourselves at others and see the things they “are” or “do” and think, “I would love to do that!” But, is it something that truly can belong to you? Does it cause your heart to sing and does it compliment you so much that you glow at the prospect?

Often we don’t even know what we want or what we desire to believe because we are too busy looking outside of ourselves to find it. Believe me, there is a seed deep inside of you that only you can be and believe to be. You will know it when you discover it because immediately it won’t fit anyone else’s “self” because it is uniquely yours. Whatever has been planted at this moment will make your heart sing, will cause others to walk away, will bring new people to your path, and will confuse you until you actually “do it”.

Our own personal truth is important because we are all important. No one has to approve of you. God already has. No one has to agree with you because God who lives in you is your witness. Whatever works for you, works for you, and it will be shown by success and joy!

There are a lot of things in this world we can fill the hole inside of us with. Sometimes it can be things or people. The greater things are those which are not tangible but they are eternal. The truths that are inside of you are there for your eternal well being and not for anyone else to approve of. You are who you are, and there is no one else who can take your place.

It can be so easy to not live up to our potential because we think others expect something else from us. If we walk in this way, we deny ourselves the full truth and we deny others of who we truly are. Think about this for a moment. Do you believe the things you believe because they have been shown to be true to you or because others have taught you what to believe and how? This is a hard one because so many of us have sat under the teaching of others. Its great to trust them with our hearts and life path, but no one could possibly know every facet of our being like God can. God lives in our being.

Seriously consider this; “Are you living as a fraction of your true self because you have been taught to believe a certain way, or be a certain way, by others?” I want better for you. I want the BEST for you! So be the best you that you can be! TRUST yourself and God who lives in you! Be “the one” for all that you are. Whatever you do, don’t lay in a sorrowful place some day and regret not showing the parts of you that you hide from everyone else because its not popular for some. Your tribe is there and they will find you, so be who you are; always!

“I am determined to never live as a fraction of myself but in the wholeness of my personal truth no matter what anyone else might feel or believe. I will not live with regrets and I will trust that all things truly do work for good for those who love God. I will trust God who dwells inside my temple for my life’s decisions and my personal truth.”

Jenine Marie Howry

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries LLC 

Bear Your Soul

cry-out-to-jesusI’m not sure if this blog post is education or expression. Maybe it’s a little bit of both of them. That would not be altogether a bad thing, would it? Expression is important to us, especially when we direct it toward God. He listens and hears even when others pass us over. In fact, He listens to the silent pains of our hearts. Just like he did with Hannah. Hannah wanted to desperately have a child and she was taunted because she could not produce. Her pain was so intense that when she prayed she could not even get words out that could even match what was in her heart. So she silently prayed in anguish before God in the temple. She felt crushed and bruised on the inside and she felt rejected and forgotten by God.

1 Samuel 1:11 (12)

“Crushed in soul, Hannah prayed to God and cried and cried—inconsolably.”

“Hannah was praying in her heart, silently. Her lips moved, but no sound was heard.”

Sometimes we get like that. The issues we deal with in life are so hard that there are no words that can even express them. If we were to give them to people, they sure would not sound very good. Plus there comes a time when expressing to people no longer serves us and only God can console our hearts.

For Hannah, she just had to get it out to God, and in a way that was honest and true. Her silent petitions inconsolably went before Him in ways maybe human ears should never have heard. I’m sure her pain was overlooked by those who looked down on her for not being able to conceive a child during times when producing children identified a woman. God and God alone was her only option. I am sure she must have felt He was her last option. (He should have been her first option).

There she was, bearing her soul to the One who made her and understood her. She let out her hurt, her anger, her anxiety, depression, and sadness. Her words of promise went before Him. She requested if God would allow her to conceive she would dedicate her child to Him in service. God saw her, heard her, and met her in that place. He also granted her petition of faith and she conceived a child.

There is something about bearing our soul to God. It is a powerful move. His power and strength are shown great through our weakness and vulnerability. Don’t ever be afraid to be vulnerable before God. He knows you. He made you. If we want strength, and also to be heard, sometimes it takes a silent petition of the heart to God. Healing comes from bearing our soul. Sometimes we need to emotionally bleed out in order to remove old scars and allow healing to begin. This is what Hannah did. She bled out her heartache. Jesus did the same in the Garden of Gethsemane before He bore the cross. Both Hannah and Jesus had to accept the will of God after their petitions. One birthed a child, the other died on a cross and birthed us all. They bore their souls and God responded according to His perfect will.

If you are at a place of truly needing healing, and to be heard, and you have emptied your entire self to other people without understanding, maybe it is time to bear your soul to God? What does it solve to keep it inside of you? If you have prayed with others, talked your head blue, and wondered why things are not working with no results, then maybe it is time to drop to your knees and pray like Hannah. When you do, remind God of His promises and then accept His will. Be real. Be authentic. God knows it all anyway, so let it all rip. Believe me, it helps more than you might know.

Prayerfully on the journey,

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

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