There is a particular nature or way of being that comes from the spirit of God. I dare to call them characteristics. Sometimes I think we forget we are God’s expression on this earth and our manors are not precisely what they can be. Of course, every person has a choice as to what character they want their conversation to follow. We can follow God’s characteristics or be unempowered and follow the human ego part that creates chaos instead of contentment.
One thing about God’s nature is the idea of covering. God covers. In the story of Adam and Eve, when they were naked in the garden due to their own choices, God created a covering for them. God created clothing that gave them the better things in life despite their intentions. The best they could do in their ego-self was to find fig leaves. God gave them clothing of animal skins that protected and covered. In the story, God’s act shows a character that covers, has warmth and guards with love.
Adam and Eve need not be exposed for their transgression. They already felt repentant enough, yet God took their guilt and shame along with the half-hearted way to cover their “sins” and replaced it with what is better and more protective. God’s forgiving character and the loving manner is one we should display daily. Covering someone instead of exposing them to coldness comes from real love. Exposing loved ones to others’ bitterness by our tongues only brings shame and guilt upon oneself. Remember, we reap what we sow. If we cover instead of exposing and if we truly love instead of operating from ego, our lives will be blessed with the goodness that God promised in the garden of Eden.
I suppose we all have to ask ourselves what we truly deserve. Is it reaping hot coals upon our heads or shivering in the cold, or do we deserve to be covered with the warmth of forgiveness, protection, and light?
I don’t even know how to begin what I am about to write. I guess the only thing I can do is just start and see where I end up. I woke up this morning, and something inside of me just broke open. I am shaking my head right now because life is just so nuts. Before I go any further, I just want to make one thing clear. I am not writing this for attention. I don’t need sympathy, and I don’t want pity. I am writing this post because, at the moment, it is the only way to get this out.
I am writing this post because I am a mother. I brought children into this world, and they are the greatest gift I have ever received. I might not remember what I ate yesterday, but I remember the smiles on the faces of every single one of my babies when they were born. My children are my heartbeat and the greatest gifts I have ever had.
I lost my firstborn child when he was 20. As the oldest of five children, he was the one who helped out when I needed more hands than the two I have. The kids and I were a surviving unit. As a mother of five kids on my own, I truly did not know how I was going to make it, but I did. Unfortunately, I had to give up my son. God took him. How that happened is still pretty much a mystery.
I’m going to get to my point here. I have another son and three daughters. We have all gone on with life, but we have all been hurting inside. The loss of a child or sibling is a severe pain to bear, especially after all we survived together. I still remember my younger son’s face the day of my firstborn’s funeral. He loved his brother so much. They were ten years apart, so my son’s brother was the only other male he could look up to in a house full of females. I will never forget the day my son’s big smile turned into tears. I am not sure what my heart was broken about more; losing a son or watching my other son hurt too much. All of my children have hurt, but I feel like my younger son hurt even more for some reason.
He accepted drugs in response to his pain. I’m sure his pain was numbed for the moment, but a drug and alcohol addiction that evolved out of control occurred. It is hard for a mother to watch her child harm his life, but I know no matter how much I have ever hurt, he has hurt more. His addiction landed him a prison sentence, which he has done most of.
He was placed in a state prison he should never have been in due to the risk of becoming ill with a disease that comes from the soil in that region. He has been very sick. I know he feels like he will never recover. He has fallen in his cell due to weakness, has had pneumonia, has hardly been able to be in sunlight, has been at risk of being hurt by others, and has been subjected to the trickery of those who cost him more prison time.
I want you to know this has all been a helpless feeling; to have a child, who is an adult, go through the things my son has endured. Yes, he has done a lot to himself, but he sure did not lack help in the addiction department. Addiction does not survive alone. It always has its accomplices. I am a minister and a believer of a higher power whom I call God. So, therefore, I have prayed as hard as any mother could possibly pray. My son remains sick, fearful, and not able to even deal with the addiction he went to prison for. People go to prison because of a crime they committed as discipline for that crime. They call it rehabilitation, but that does not happen, at least not from what I have seen. Regardless of what any individual has done, they do not go to prison to become sick with a disease they will never recover from. I have written to the President of the United States. I have written to the governor’s office of the state. I have written to the ombudsman of the prison system. I have written the state’s congressional representative, the state senator for that region, and those I thought might help. I have contacted an advocacy group on my son’s behalf and even the medical department of the prison he is in.
Nothing seems to help. So I keep on praying, sounding like I am alright, and moving on with life, telling myself that faith is going to have to be enough. I have isolated myself personally because of the painful part inside of me just can not take one more person hurting me. Yet life goes on. I tell myself I have to keep on going, and the rest has to be left up to God.
As I said, this morning, I broke. It’s not like I have not cried before because I have. I have cried loudly and out of pain, frustration, and anger. I want to tell you something. I absolutely HATE drugs and addictions. I have watched the people I love the most have their lives destroyed by drugs and alcohol. I don’t know the reasons why, but some can handle them, and some just can not. I think it is all a toss of the genetic wheel, maybe with a little human pain thrown in for good measure.
I dedicated my life to helping others, teaching others, showing what faith is, teaching lessons, and learning more so I can teach, counsel, and do more. We all have a purpose. Right now, at this very moment, I am the one who needs help. I need my son to receive the care he needs and the attention he needs to get out of that dingy prison cell and be helped into a life he can thrive in. I think right here; I might add that I have not been able to hug my son in 8 years. He has been locked up for most of those years, and the time before that, he was addicted. I left the state. My mother’s heart can’t take any more from anyone at any time.
It’s a helpless feeling, having to be strong, moving on in life, and have this painful heartache inside that says life will never be alright again. Grief does not end when we bury our loved ones. I already know that love can not be healed. Love is love. What we do is keep our loved ones close in our hearts, and we come to understand the heart and soul of a human being is where heaven is because that is where we hold our dearest loves of our lives.
It’s a helpless feeling to have a son, a grown man now, locked in a cage where no one will help him. It appears that all that happens in our prison systems is to put drug addicts away until they become hard just to survive. Addiction is a disease that is passed down through genetics, and it is one that is systematically reinforced by others who are addicted or sell drugs. It’s a vicious cycle.
Of course, I have blamed myself. I know deep inside it is beyond my control, but I still blame myself. It does not help that others have blamed me too. It’s sickening; all of it. Our country needs more addiction recovery programs. We need to stop condemning those who are addicted by locking them up and throwing away the key and start teaching them how to live with an illness they did not ask for and yet have to live with. We all live with it. Sometimes we die with it.
I smile, I laugh, I have good things that happen in life. I have moved forward, but a massive part of me feels stuck and broken. I know this is how every mother feels when their child has struggled with an illness they can not control. It controls them. It controls everyone it touches. Believe me; it’s hell.
Thank you for putting up with my long written broken vomit. Excuse me here, but there is no other way I can describe it. For those of you who have gone through the same, I am sorry. I wish you the best solution possible and for healing. For those of you who have received my letters and cries and yet have done nothing, I am sorry for you.
My mother always told me that tears are good for the soul, but why? There are several reasons tears are good for us. Let me give you a framework to begin with.
They are a signal for God to release His goodness and power into our lives. John 16:20 tells us God will turn our tears into shouts of joy! What was meant for harm to us in this world will be changed and transformed into happiness and joy-filled moments. There is no promise we will be sorrow free. We are to expect to suffer. In the same respect, we are also to expect joy.
God collects our tears. In Psalm 56:8, king David says God collects our tears in a bottle. This means God keeps careful track of all of the tears we shed, and at the right time, they will be released for us in the form of blessing.
Tears help us to let go of emotional baggage and relieve stress. There is something powerful about releasing from our eyes. Whatever was clouding our vision will be cleared, and our way will be shown to us.
Our tears bring hope through our joy. Not all tears are sorrowful. Some are joy-filled. When joyful tears are shed, hope is on the rise. With our tears, we give ourselves hope for today and tomorrow. We also show hope and compassion to those around us.
I’m not sure where or when it became terrible or wrong to cry. All of the prophets of old cried out to God and to others. We are a unit, and when one cries, we all cry. We don’t always see ourselves through the lens of our oneness, but the truth is, we are one. When we cry out, we cry out for ourselves and all. Our hearts are more than just a pumping muscle. We have a soulful heart that is a miracle creator should we choose to allow release and healing to happen. Don’t worry. God has this, and so do you!
Quite a few times I have talked about how thoughts and words have power to create our lives. The symbolism for this is in the bible when God spoke the world into existence. Before there were words from God, there were thoughts from God. God is spirit, pure consciousness, has personality and presence.
Our thoughts and therefore words can create a sort of vacuum in our lives that begin to feel like a clogged drain. I can attest to clogged plumbing because that is what I have experienced lately in our home. Exactly like a clogged drain our thoughts and words clog up our lives and create a vacuum of what will eventually return to us. Just like a clogged drain filled with sludge and mess, a bunch of negative, hurtful thoughts and words can clog our lives with a bunch of messy issues.
The good news is, it is easy to recognize a clogged drain. It begins to build up and spew out water and everything with it onto the floor or counter. We can also recognize a clogged life. If we have done nothing but stuff sludge into life it will eventually show up as a mess spilling all out into our lives, going every place it can enter.
For a clogged drain we can use a plunger, pull out the mess, and let the vacuum seal free up the water for a more clear and clean emptying out. For a clogged life we can allow the universal vacuum to unclog the negative experiences we have by being more kind, more positive, more faith filled, and more compassionate. The big unclog also includes truth. Unfortunately, what people don’t know will not always hurt them, but it will hurt you. Living a lie is a clogged drain.
First and foremost, we have to love ourselves. If that is not happening this is where the first clog is. Beyond loving ourselves we need to guard our words. God tells us that the issues of life spill out through our words. This even means our tone, our slander, our gossip, our meanness, and so on. This also means our joy, our compliments, our compassion, and our love. The best way to unclog a messy life is to watch the flood gate of our thoughts and keep an ear out for the words we speak.
The lesson here: If you don’t want sludge coming out in your life then don’t put sludge into it. This also means your mind. Whatever you feed it, will eventually come out of it. The company you keep can also influence your life in a good way or negative way. Negative garbage will attract more negative garbage. Time for the garbage disposal. Give your life a royal flush and give yourself a break. This is an inside job, so don’t put this on anyone else. Your life might affect others close to you, but your personal experience only depends on YOU.
It’s not unusual for me to receive messages while in my sleep. I often wake up with them rolling around in my brain. I do not want to assume I know where they came from. I guess any answer can do. Information can be coming from God, angels, my higher self, or any other spiritual avenue. I am at the point of not even questioning how things happen with me or how I know or hear things. I just know it does, and that is good enough for me.
Honesty has been the theme of the morning as I drink my morning coffee. It is so important to take an honest assessment of one’s self. As I reflect on some incidents of the past that occurred in my life, my heart feels relieved. Honesty does two things:
One is to give us a clear assessment of who we are as people. Honesty can reveal the deep inner issues we need to deal with and process through. Sometimes we need to forgive ourselves, and sometimes we need to confess our wrongdoing. God has control over that, and it’s between the individual and God.
Honesty can also reveal the things that happened and were not our fault. When this happens, it is a great relief. Take the time to forgive others but also take the time to breathe in truth and comfort. When honesty reveals other people’s wrongdoing we have taken upon ourselves, it is time to let it all go. We are never responsible for other people’s actions, no matter how close they might be to us. Sometimes we are punished for what others have done because they are close to us. If the influence is in the family, then we have no choice. Our families are ours for a lifetime to learn, grow, and understand how to forgive.
When honestly brings us to the things we were punished for that others have done, it is time to forgive ourselves for holding onto the shame or guilt of it all. Society has a way of determining fault and pointing fingers when fingers should be pointed back at them. Usually, when finger-pointing happens, it is because they are the ones who need to process honesty.
When it comes to judging other people, think of these things first; Moses murdered, Noah got naked and drunk, prophets ran from their calling, women were treated as possessions and abandoned by powerful men whom “God had called.” We are not perfect beings. The point is God loves us anyway, and we are still a part of God. The heart is what matters. Each person reflected in biblical writings did wrong things. Well, I guess not Jesus. Aside from Him, we are all in the same rocky boat.
We might as well be honest with ourselves. Take a deep inventory of who you are, what you have done, and do it in the presence of God. Meditate on it and forgive yourself. You can not be forgiven for things you will never admit. No one is there except you and God or whatever angels are allowed to be there for you. Alright, you might have some crossed over loved ones present. I like to think the family is always with us. So, be honest with yourself today. It’s called taking moral inventory. Forgive yourself and ask for forgiveness of things you have done. Then be relieved and start each day again clear from all of those things you lie to yourself about because you don’t want to admit them to anyone. We all have those things. So it is alright.
Take the moral dumper and after you do, as I said, forgive yourself, ask God to forgive you, and move onward clear and clean. Being honest with ourselves is the way we are washed. Close your eyes and allow forgiveness, mercy, and grace to flow over you like a river. Take time for tears because they cleanse the soul. Your life will be freer because of it. Don’t wait on this. You are too important to let it go. In all honesty, you are worth it!
When I write my blog posts, I mostly get my information spiritually for others. Sometimes my writing is about myself. Tonight, this blog is for me. It is because my heart is aching, and it feels like no one would want even to come close to understanding. None of us can ever be an inspired person all the time. Life is just like a bowl of mixed nuts, all filled with different things that we end up eating along with everything else.
As I think back on some of the good things I have accomplished in life, I feel proud. There have been some great times and good moments that I cherish and hold dear. There have been some intensely sad moments when I thought my heart would break in half, but it did not. God has always been standing by with the glue gun to make sure my heart gets put back together whenever the need arises.
I think of those I have counseled over the years, the emotions I have calmed in others, and the situations I have brought people through, and I have to wonder why I never have the pleasure of being heard and comforted when the time arises. Do I appear too confident or together? Lately, I do not feel that way. Maybe I put out the air that I do not need anyone. It could not be further from the truth. We all need one another.
Sometimes I think of Karma and wonder if maybe there is something, I did to attract a situation where I always have to stand alone when things are the hardest. Can it be I tread on waters so torrential that no one else dares tread with me? Sometimes my heart is too sensitive. It’s what makes me compassionate. Sometimes my heart feels like It is going to break into a thousand pieces, like now.
Regardless of what the reason, I have felt almost invisible for the last seven years or so. My expressions of distress are met with things like, “I’m sorry to hear that,” or ” I hope you feel better soon.” Then the door is shut. As long as I have no uplifting words for someone else, there is nothing left to say.
I think to myself; I can talk to God and all the spiritual support I have. Tonight, I need more than that. We all come to a crossroads where someone who truly has mutual compassion is necessary. Suddenly I feel very alone. I am not lonely, just alone. There is a difference, you know. I can be alone for long periods and never feel lonely. Yet there are other moments I wish I had not walked the road I have. It appears to be a dark alley, and all along, I thought it was a bright tunnel filled with lights and guidance.
When guidance is not enough, yet God is enough, sometimes I need Him to send me some earth angels. I feel like my heart is hurting so much it can be heard all across the world and back, and yet all I get is an echo and then silence.
There were days in the past that I struggled so hard to grow, survive, and live. Every angle I chose, every road I took seemed to be the hardest ever. You see, I had five children to care for all on my own. I struggled every day of my life. Yes, there were days I cried my brains out. Then there were also days of great victory and support. Support always came from God as my Source. Whenever I feel I am struggling the most, I have forgotten who my Source is.
Life can always be more comfortable. Some things fly out of control, but we can find that control again. The things we can control are our attitudes, our faith, our choices, our mindset, and our ultimate decisions. We can choose faith over fear. We can choose to be gracious over ungrateful. We can choose to have a God mindset over an ego mindset. Our decisions can be wise ones, or we can select unwisely and must take the consequences.
Any time I felt weakness, it was not because I cried or felt down. Fault always has come from forgetting who I am and Who lives in me. Weakness always comes from disconnecting from the One with whom I have always belonged. God is the Source of all my inheritance, my joy, my victory, and my convictions.
These have always been my convictions. Do I slip up sometimes? Yes! I slip up a lot, but I also chose that God would be my compass and sealed this eternal choice. With God as a compass, there is no going back. God will always arrange life so that I will drive my way home, no matter what. A home is a place of comfort, hope, and security. When we lose “home,”; we lose our comfort, hope, and safety.
My hope for you today is to find “home” and to determine your Source. Seal yourself in permanent betrothal with the One who always knows you best and will never let you down.
I believe there is a place inside of us that reflects what God meant to be there. It is a heavenly place, created by Light, and in the image of divinity. We might not always act like we are God’s creation, but we are. Sometimes things are buried deep inside of us, so deep the Light of God is not seen. I repeat it’s there, though.
Like a baby born into space, it sucks into itself what is socially granted to him or her. Without any intention, from birth, we live the way we are socialized to live. As we grow, we learn to create a more sacred space, or not. It’s our choice. We can heal and have hope, or we can spoil in the soul scars we took on along the way.
No matter what stance we take, we are worth honoring because a genius Creator made us. We are life and a reflection of what that great love intended for us. We don’t always shine that way, although it is how it should be.
Knowing this, we should honor all life no matter what form it takes. God created life with great intention, great love, and genius stamped upon it. For the respect of God, we honor. All life might not be honorable in action or deed, but we choose to forgive those things and praise anyway. Integrity is God’s pathway. Does a holy Father reject His son? Does a parent leave their offspring because of flaws they can not help?
What about the one who is buried deep within a mother’s womb? The sacred lies sweetly and innocently within a space created just for him or her. Should this sacred creation be taken from its nesting place before its time? Does it deserve to die when it has no choice of its own? We were all born with freedom of choice. Why, then, should we choose another? Is it not murder to disrespect a life that yet has no say?
Living in perfect formation, the unborn is innocent and has nothing to disrespect. The unborn are like sheep that are subject to slaughter, and we call it pro-choice. We say it’s a woman’s right to choose her own body, but does she have the right to select for one who is so perfect and innocent? Does she have the right to say this one who is yet to be born should not be? Do any of us have the right to take what is sacred and call it not holy?
We all go through dips, where inspiration and encouragement seem far from us. I decided to bring some good ideas to inspire those who are feeling a bit less motivated right now. Glean from these and create your own! Do not forget to dream. When you do, dream BIGGER!
Meditate to gain access to the seeds of innovation that live inside of you! We all have those God-given seeds of destiny planted within our spiritual DNA. When we seek, we find. Jesus taught us this great lesson! When feeling less inspired, dig deeper within, ask the right questions, and wait for the answers.
Keep focused on your destiny. Copying others will cause you to miss what future is meant for just you! God has a specific plan for your life. When you find those plans, point your determination due north and follow that star to your purpose!
Journal your ideas and read them back to yourself often. Writing will often cause inspiration to flow where you were once clogged. Journaling ideas or doodling them on paper will always help purpose flow. Thoughts are like rivers. They have their own current. Do not follow the river of others. Keep in your own river. Fish for the right things and draw up your nets from the areas that show you the most prosperity.
Record your inspiration in your own voice on your phone, computer, or recorder. Then play it for yourself over and over. Add ideas and create a running recording of all the things that come to you.
Watch for signs in life. God and angels bring us signs and ideas that lead us toward our destinies. We have help! Signs and words also come from other people. Keep attuned to what others say, record, or write what is relevant to you.
Keep fostering inspiration daily. Pray for it, and you will receive it. God created a Universe of desire, inspiration, and innovation.
Find a role model and study how they brought their ideas to fruition! We are all parts of a whole. We learn from others. Do not forget to give others credit where credit is due! They deserve it for all they have taught you!
Remember, you are bigger than you think. You are a vast person with infinite potential. All you truly need to do is believe, receive, and achieve!
For some reason, we tend to think that having faith is some magic button we push, and suddenly things appear or work out. It is not like that. Faith is the evidence of things hoped for. It sounds spiritual. Guess what? It is! Having faith is knowing that which is unseen is going to manifest in the world of reality. Yet, desires do not just appear like some magical potion makes it happen. We are expected to work out our faith with diligence. This means that we create action toward the desire we have. If no steps are made in faith, then nothing happens. Then we start thinking there is no hope.
This is not the truth. Hope is always there, but it needs us to keep it alive, and we need hope to keep us alive. Hope is what got me through many a long, painful night. Dark nights happen. When they do, the biggest part of having faith is knowing we can count on God to do His part if we do ours.
If we wake up one day, and it feels like we are in a mindless prison, it is time to activate faith. We do not just “have it”; we act out what we believe to be true. It is just like when we are children and act out our fantasies. How can we create anything if we are either stuck in one position or going in the wrong direction? I hate to say it this way but planting our butts on a stool and thinking the Universe is going to drop our desires right in our lap is plain ridiculous.
Part of knowing about God is having a relationship with God. That means we partner with God. If we are not willing to do that then we will just have to settle on the fact that we will sit on our dreams until the day we pass away from this world. What a shame that is!
I want to challenge you today. Be daring. Think about what you truly desire and then have the tenacity to just get up and go get it! What do you have to lose? You might just realize your dreams. If you want God, the Universe, the angelic hosts, to all assist you, then you have to be a part of the gang and do the job too. It’s part of our learning process. Like it or not, its time to learn the lesson about walking out faith and get moving.
You will not gain anything with your face turned into the direction of someone else’s dream either. I am just being frank with you here. Get yourself into your own dream! Keep your face to the wind and go for it with all you have. You might just end up happy. Dang, wouldn’t that be a miracle?