Returning to Your Authentic Self

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Some time ago I sat quietly and listened to a heart broken client express, “I don’t know who I am anymore, and I have no idea where I am going.” Tearfully she explained how her life had been slowly going through a change. One day she woke up and nothing felt right for her any more. She was devastated, stuck, and had no idea what had happened to the life she once knew and was quite happy with at one time.

As we continued to talk, she described for me how her life used to be, how she used to feel, and what it was that made it so much better back then. As we moved forward to the present it was obvious she had been slowly conditioned to her environment by the people she now knew, and the changes that had occured in her life. Nothing happened suddenly, it was a slow boil. Ever hear the frog story about putting a frog in boiling water? If you put it in hot water it will quickly jump out, but if you put it in water it likes and raise the temperature slowly it will get used to it, not realizing its life was being taken.

Life can be like that sometimes if we are not aware. It’s easy to be slowly conditioned into a life we don’t recognize, either by environment and often our choices. Like my former client, we can wake up one day and no longer recognize ourselves because of the changes we made. Sometimes they are deliberate changes and sometimes they are subtle ones that we are just conditioned into because of outside influences. It’s easy to get stuck there and even conditioned to stay there unhappily.

We are born into this life a blank slate and innocent from our God and Creator. There is nothing quite like a breath of heaven entering this world for the first time. We all were there in the beginning. What we have now is a collection of stuff we have picked up along the way. Our world and society has a way of conditioning us into thinking and acting in certain ways that create a fluent “fitting in”. The problem is we are taught to believe what the “norm” is and if we deviate from it we are the ones who are considered lost. We don’t realize how much we are told who we should be, how we should act, and what type of life we should lead.

We are trapped in an ideal that says we are supposed to learn, grow up, have families, and make money. Before we know it our focus is more about those things than simply being our true selves. For instance; there is so much more about learning than reading and writing. We forget to learn how to be the amazing beings we have been created to be. Schools don’t teach us to learn about our creative selves, or how powerfully we are made and how powerful we are.  Our families become a “family unit” where we somehow tend to lose our identity in the process. Even in marriage we forget we are individuals first and then a couple second. We are joined “as one” but within that oneness we allow our true selves to be lost. We get a job, create a business, or find a means of support. Suddenly, that means of support becomes the major part of our lives to the point that we identify ourselves according to what we do instead of who we are.

We can watch this happen at a social gathering. One of the primary questions we consider while getting to know someone is “What do you do for a living?” Suddenly, we are a doctor, an attorney, a business owner, and so on. The issue with this is we are none of these things first. We are first and foremost that breath of heaven born into this world as an individual. Born from love, our mission is love. We are never taught we are healers, believers, understanders, and creative builders. The truth? God never sent us into this world to make money, have families, and then go home. We are meant to live from the spirit and not society’s ideas of who we should be or become.

We are told by religion to believe a certain way or by psychology what is normal and what is not. We are conditioned to understand that life is “hard” instead of living at ease and in discovery. Our creative gifts are smothered by feelings that we have to adjust to “fit in” and conform. It’s a slow boil. Before we know it we forget who we truly are and why we are here. The next thing we know we are older and have no idea how we got where we are or where we are going. We lose our authentic selves.

Our challenge? Our spiritual selves are beckoning us to return to our authentic lives. For example, the woman I spoke of in the beginning had no idea what a gifted artist she is because she never had taken the time to find out the deeper and more creative things she harbors within herself. We all have those things. We might know what they are and feel we will get to them some day. Although, in the slow boil we have been living in, that some day might never come. We have to make it come once we know how unsettled we have truly been.

Returning to our authentic self means seeking within, not outside of ourselves. We can’t find ourselves in other people or in earthly situations. We find ourselves by allowing God in us to reveal who we really are. We are meant for so much more than to be born, live, and then die. There is so much in between. We are meant to dance, for our hearts to sing, our lives to give healing, and our love to bring peace. We are meant to create beauty in this life, not turmoil. Our tears are for compassion and not pain. Our anger should be toward injustice, not held against one another. The only way we become one as a couple or a society is extending compassion, grace, and creating an environment where we thrive as our true selves. We are not meant to be clones of one another but the breath of fresh air for each one we encounter. We are born to bring our gift to a hungry world and share it with others and then receive them as a gift in return.

Our world is looked upon as chaotic. I feel that way myself quite often. Remember that God created this world from chaos and we can return to ourselves through the chaos we have felt in our lives. If you are feeling unsettled, unfulfilled, and upset, that is great! Your life is calling you toward finding your true self again. Your heart wants to heal, to be lifted to a place where compassion, love, and giftedness become the norm and not what society has told you. You are you and there is no one else like you. How special is that?

Take a deep breath, allow your tears, and let them be the water that grows a garden of truth, new understanding, and authenticity. Find that breath of heaven you were born to be! Then give who you are to a world that has no idea how to find itself any more. Return to yourself. Return to love. When you do, love yourself deeply. It is an honor to have you here. Don’t allow disrespect. You are a treasure. No one will recognize that unless you accept nothing less.

Loving you from here,

Dr Rev Jenine Marie Howry, PhD or simply “Jenine”

Weekly Wisdom: Are You Nice or Kind?

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Not long ago a friend and I had a discussion about how different it is to be nice vs being kind. The conclusion was a nice action is just that; doing something nice for someone. Being kind on the other hand is an act of deep caring. Being nice takes some effort but being kind happens with our whole being. Our hearts and emotions are tied to our actions. I can openly say that being kind takes a deeper love and commitment to that love.

This is a plain and simple message this week. I think it’s depth is better pondered on your own. Are you being nice or are you being kind to others? It can be possible to be both or be one or the other depending on the circumstance. Yet, kindness should be a way of life. It takes being kind within ourselves. Without that kindness we can’t give it either.

Let your kindness roots grow deeper this week. Remember we are in this life with one another.  Meditate on the difference and work on practicing deep kindness. You will be happier for it and will receive kindness in return.

Loving you from here,

Dr Rev Jenine Marie Howry

Is it a Mess, Message, or More?

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The last week I met with the challenge of cleaning out my storage unit. My things had been packed and stored away for the last five years. I know, an incredible amount of time to have things in storage. I opened the door and stared inside. The contents were more daunting then I had remembered. Somehow I had thought it would be a simple thing to do, but now it was staring me in the face. It was obvious to me it had been let go of far too long. The mess was now becoming a message.

I clicked a few photos and sent them off to my husband. His first comment, “What a mess!” I agreed. I pulled out one of the dining room chairs and just sat there for a few minutes. I thought, “So this is the mess I left behind and have not dealt with.” I tend to hold the belief that our mess created on the outside of us come from something on the inside of us. As I sat, I wondered what mess in me created this contained and locked up disaster! I changed my question to what message this had for me and wondered why I had allowed it. Was it not to put off for tomorrow what I could do today, or was it to deal with things before moving onward to something else? I shook my head and decided it had to be a little bit of both.

Whatever the reason I had come to this place on my journey it was obvious my cleaning up and clearing out process was not going to be an easy one and it was not going to happen completely in one session. As I weeded through papers, boxes, and long forgotten items I thought again about the mess in me. What was I weeding from my inner life at that moment? Maybe it was a little self care neglect, and putting off what I needed to deal with at the moment. Maybe it was holding on to things that I should let go of and move on to a new level of growth. Again, it had to be a little of both, and maybe then some.

I found myself in the middle of the unit turning around in circles. I moved things to one side and then to the next and back again. I discovered long forgotten treasures that I knew I had to keep. Then there were other things I could not understand the reason I had kept them in the first place. An overwhelming feeling washed over me, as I sat down again. I concluded that some things are important because they have meaning attached to them, and other things are just things. The same thing on the inside seemed to be true. I decided to keep what was meaningful and brought a specific memory or feeling of joy into my life and leave the rest.

My inner process was not as hard as the outer process. I let go of things that really did not matter and decided to cling to the memories that I cherished and have brought me a smile along the way. It all surrounded forgiveness and gratitude. I thought of the things I was grateful for and the things I had not forgiven as I continued to weed through memories and material things. Surprisingly the number one person I had to forgive was myself. As I shuffled boxes I could not help but cry. There was some past life staring me in the face each time I cut open a box. Everything from photos to bed sheets were exposed. Each time, I found something to be grateful for and something to forgive. My storage unit was, and is, very symbolic of my achievements and losses. I found degrees I had earned, and documents that were as old as God and really had no meaning accept being a stepping stone to a new phase of life.

I chose the best things to bring back with me, some things to give away, and others for another part of my journey. I think my inner world is the same. I think I will choose the best things to retain in me, let go of some, and give away any wisdom that is obtained from my life lessons. As for the other part of my journey, who knows? Maybe that lies within the contents of the rest of my storage unit.

Do you have a mess, a message, or something to clear out in your life? I hope this gives you some thoughts to ponder.

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev Jenine Marie Howry

 

If You Want a Better Life…

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DECIDE! It is not the events in your life that control it. It is the decisions you make in your life that controls it. You might not think so but its truth. You can decide to let events cause you to decline or you can decide to allow difficult events cause you to rise above. It’s not always easy. We are programmed to be a certain way by the way we grew up until now. It takes PRACTICE and AWARENESS.

Practice feeding yourself the things that are good for you. We feed ourselves daily to sustain our bodies. When it comes to our bodies, garbage in, garbage out. Good stuff in then good stuff will come of it. It’s the same with feeding the mind. Garbage in, garbage out. Our lives reflect what we decide to put into it. Good stuff in then good stuff will be reflected on the outside. If you are in a grumpy bad mood or find yourself with a quick temper then it’s a sure sign you have been feeding your mind GARBAGE. You might not believe this at first. Test it. If you feast on things such as violent programming, negative content, hang around people who really don’t give two hoots about you. Your life will decline.

But, if you change that around and just DECIDE to only take in good things into your mind, your life will reflect what you take in. Again, you have to decide and then follow through. Don’t whine if you are not willing to do the work. You HAVE to do the work to make it work. Plain and simple.

Don’t be hard on yourself. Just keep trying. We all get down, depressed, upset, angry, and sad. Life is a challenge. We can also challenge ourselves just like someone who is working out their body. Challenge yourself for 4 weeks to only feed on positive things. When people get negative around you, walk away. I’m not saying turn your back on someone who is hurting. I am saying stay away from the nay saying and negativity. Be your own life coach. Feed your mind for a solid month with great programming! Your life will reflect it on the outside because you will begin to attract a more positive experience. Never fails. Just DECIDE and follow through.

Loving you from here,

Dr Rev Jenine Marie Howry

Do You Shrink Back On Your Follow Through?

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One of the most frustrating issues we deal with as humans has to be procrastination. Or maybe sometimes we just get distracted with so much bouncing around at us all of the time. I can see why many of us don’t follow through on things we really want in life. We find ways to justify why we can’t do it. Or sometimes we lose our nerve or even our momentum.

Having an encourager is so important in life! I’m telling you, someone who is always on your side, has your back, won’t allow you to shrink back, and will root you on, is one of the most valuable people ever! No one accomplishes anything without others. We might think we can, but it’s a lonely and very limited journey.

If you need someone to keep you on track, why not book a session or two with me? Sometimes having someone to help you map out your destination and keep you on course is all you need to keep from shrinking back!

Whatever your goal might be, a special weight loss program, a task you always wanted to accomplish, a new business venture, or finding a great new relationship, you can benefit from guided coaching and encouragement. I WILL make you accountable and help you define what goal you want to accomplish and what your deepest desire is. We all need a little push now and then. Let me give you that nudge and maybe a little more!

Loving you from here,

Dr Rev Jenine Marie Howry

832-484-8306

Make Room for New Things This Year!

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Why is it that beginning a new year prompts the expectations of new things on the horizon? Maybe it’s because we are so used to counting time through years. Whatever the reason the new year always seems to bring up new hope, new ideas to plant, and new desires for what the year will bring. Do you want to be in the creation flow this year?

Everything in nature has a cycle or a flow. Seasons go through cycles every year. People have cycles of health, rejuvenation, and there are creation cycles in women. Rivers have a flow, and the ocean has a tide that goes in and out. If you think about it all, you can see and feel the very heartbeat of God’s creation. Everything has its perfect cycle, flow, and timing. I find that reassuring, don’t you?

The major thing that every act in nature has, is something has to move onward, change, die, or fall to the ground to begin again. Everything gets moved to a new position in life. Take a look at the trees. In the fall the leaves turn yellow, golden, and brown. They fall to the ground to make new space for the tree to create new life. A river moves things along with it, smoothing rocks, shifting rubble, and carving out areas of land as it moves toward a larger body of waters. The ocean moves the sands along the edge of the beach. Every time the tide goes back out it sweeps the edge of the land and that area will continue to change.

The energy of change can be an exciting one if you have great desires for the new year! Keeping in mind that things might have to be shifted, moved along, washed away, and allowed to fall to the ground, in order to create what you have on your heart and in your mind. Creating things God’s way is not hard. A roadmap has already been designed for you! Now all you have to do is clear out the clutter and allow what is new to come into the flow of your life! Remember, resistance is never the way to get what you desire. A river never flows upstream. Nothing in nature goes backward, it all moves forward and always changes. If it were to stop moving then creation would not sustain itself. If it were to move backwards it would disrupt the process of what is needed to sustain balance on the earth.

What will it be this year as you clear the clutter and shift the sands in your life? Some things will have to go and some things will have to change. You might find yourself releasing many things, or allowing the past to die so new life can spring up into your heart and soul.

Create a new space this year for what you need to do in order to have all of what you expect. Every area of your life will work this way whether it is emotional, spiritual, or physical. Don’t forget your road map! Everything happens by design and no one goes on a journey without a map!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev. Jenine Marie Howry

Transform Your Life by Renewing Your Mind DAILY

You know, God gave you the power to renew your mind and heal the neuro pathways of your brain to change your life! You CAN have an abundant and transformed life, but you need to work on those scripts that have been fed to your through life and change them to the truth! Watch!

Loving you from here!

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry

Addictions: The Lying Trap

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Remember that old saying back as a child, “Liar, liar, pants on fire?” Sometimes I wondered what our pants had to do with the lying part. I know its a very strange thing to meditate upon but I did that today. This is what came to me. When someone’s pants are on fire it is very obvious. They are being burned, hopping around, and part of them is being destroyed in front of anyone who might be looking.

Since I am on an addictions role lately, I thought I would address the lying that comes with addicted personalities and why an addicts “pants are on fire”, (so to speak). First and foremost I want to say that no one is ever kidding themselves or others when it comes to addictions to drugs, alcohol, gambling, people, drama, food, or any other addiction. The very first lie an addict creates is to themselves. They lie, believing that:

  1. Some day I will stop
  2. No one knows I am addicted
  3. No one sees that I lie to get by
  4. There is no hope accept to keep on keeping on
  5. Addiction can not be counteracted with first accepting the truth
  6. I’m not really harming my body
  7. I’m not harming anyone else
  8. I have a long life ahead of me, this is not going to affect me, things will change
  9. I need this addiction to make it through life
  10. People will believe my lies if I make them believable for me too

There are also lies that addicts tell those they are around and their loved ones. They might be things like this: (Remember lying to others is abusing them)

  1. I’m going to stop now and do it on my own
  2. I have to work late
  3. No one cares about me
  4. You are the cause of my addiction
  5. I locked the keys in my car
  6. I lost all of my money
  7. I never took your stuff
  8. I did not drink, use, function in my addiction today
  9. She/he is only a friend
  10. I never spoke of you as the cause of my addictions while speaking to others
  11. My addictions are my business and they don’t harm you
  12. You misunderstood

These are only a few. I am sure if you are struggling with addiction you can think of some more or maybe a loved one can think of some for you. This is the deal: Your loved ones KNOW you are lying. Even as much as you might try to convince them otherwise they still know. You can argue, kick, scream, and rant, and it does not make them know less. The people you work with KNOW you are lying. You can not hide an addiction from everyone no matter how hard you try. Even distance can not do it. The ONLY one you are kidding is yourself. You are hurting everyone around you, there is no doubt about that, but more than that, you are hurting yourself.

Eventually people will distance themselves from you. If they don’t they are co-dependent to your addiction. Don’t kid yourself. You might wake up and find yourself very alone. A dear friend of mine used to say, “You can’t kid a kidder“. Everyone who has or is experiencing addiction with you or around you know that you lie as well. Is THIS the life you want to lead?

No, I am not trying to be mean here. I am being honest. If you think you won’t lose everything in life no matter how successful you might look on the outside, you are lying to yourself. You might even lose your life. Then those around you will grieve. Is this the legacy you want to leave behind?

I am challenging you with no judgement to make a new decision in life. First be honest with yourself. Admit your problem is out of control. Then admit to those around you that you have been liar liar, pants on fire. It’s been obvious all along. So what is the harm in just being honest? Everyone knows, so what is the harm in coming clean with the dirt? It is your first step to freedom. I remember reading in the bible for the first time that God hates liars. Please don’t take this that God hates YOU. God hates the actions created. He wants better for you and I think you do too!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry

832-484-8306

Addictions: Is There a Way Out?

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Before I begin with this blog post I want to say that addictions in our country is one of the hardest issues we deal with. The complications an addiction can bring to one life are so saddening. It often goes from wasting precious time to the loss of life. Regardless, addiction is not only a personal illness or disease. Addictions to substances or actions affect everyone the addict is in connection with. The worry, the concern, and the stress caused by being in connection with an addicted person can wear away at the life of those who love them.

Let’s Take a Look at the Bottom Line of Addiction and the “Whys” 

I’m going to just put this out there. It’s pretty simple actually. Every addicted person feels that they lack pleasure in life and need a substance, action, or even person, to bring comfort from the difficult feelings one has. For some reason every addict seems to believe that life is supposed to be blissful, joyful, and problem free all of the time. NOT TRUE! Life is a learning journey and there is no way any life will ever have complete peace all of the time. This world is filled with problems from relational to humanitarian. It might seem simplistic but one of the greatest battles to fighting addiction is for an addict to first come to the understanding that life will have challenges and will not always “feel” good all of the time. Going by feelings instead of faith or practical knowledge is probably the first mistake any addicted person makes. We all feel and all can be sensitive to one thing or another. Yet, being driven by feelings alone can create a multitude of issues.

Bottom line, we are not meant to be comfortable all of the time. Masking the hard issues in life by using a substance or situation only stops a person from receiving the life lesson they need to grow up as a human being. What is the result? Stunted growth; especially spiritual growth.

So what about the pleasure centers of the brain? 

Our brains are an amazing part of our creation. The brain is meant to control our bodily functions, guide our lives and record them. We also have pleasure neurotransmitters that are like carriers to the rest of the body. They tell us we are having a good experience or not. Sometimes they can control how we look at life if we allow them to. For instance, someone who has depression usually does not maintain adequate serotonin in the brain and therefore “feels” depressed. An anti-depressant can be given to help the brain maintain serotonin in order to correct the problem. Depending on the person, the same can be accomplished by helping the brain maintain the right level of dopamine. Both of these neurotransmitters are like “feel good” connectors. Those who have issues with neurotransmitter imbalances struggle with every day life and being able to enjoy life’s simple pleasures.

Much to our misunderstanding there is a way out of addictions and what they do to the brain chemistry. The neuro-pathways of the mind can be rewired by meditation, affirmation, and also hypnosis. Spiritual practices can also be just as uplifting as an anti-depressant given that the practice is created as a good habit in life. There is a way out! If you struggle with addictions of any kind you can correct the imbalances in your brain that life has created and actually overcome the addictions that plague you. Also, learning how to deal and cope with life’s setbacks is a real important part of the process. Dedication and desire come into play because without these nothing else will work out. If you really want out of the addiction trap the good news is there is one! The decision that you must make is if your dedication and desire are strong enough to really work on making the necessary changes. Often if a person experiences enough pain created by their addiction it can be enough to create a strong desire to change and heal.

Your life is waiting ahead of you! Why not consider making the change from being trapped in a nowhere life to really living the life you have been given! If you need help in this area, please call and find out how you can overcome your addictions!

++IMPORTANT Note: Detox from any substance such as a drug or alcohol is a very serious process and should not be attempted alone. Please seek medical attention before beginning any other process or along side a new process. Your overall health must be assessed. Remember, if you have been altered for a long period of time your entire body has been altered down to a cellular level as well. 

Loving you from here,

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry, PhD.  832-484-8306

Life Lessons by Jenine Marie 

Defining Who You Are (An Emotional Moment and Video)

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Hello Everyone,

I hope this video helps someone, or maybe everyone, understand their value and how much we need them on this earth. We are all a part of one humanity and we all affect the lives of others. We need you! So please watch and pass this on to someone who you believe needs to hear it!

Loving you from here,

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry