Addictions: Is There a Way Out?

addiction aid bottle capsule
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Before I begin with this blog post I want to say that addictions in our country is one of the hardest issues we deal with. The complications an addiction can bring to one life are so saddening. It often goes from wasting precious time to the loss of life. Regardless, addiction is not only a personal illness or disease. Addictions to substances or actions affect everyone the addict is in connection with. The worry, the concern, and the stress caused by being in connection with an addicted person can wear away at the life of those who love them.

Let’s Take a Look at the Bottom Line of Addiction and the “Whys” 

I’m going to just put this out there. It’s pretty simple actually. Every addicted person feels that they lack pleasure in life and need a substance, action, or even person, to bring comfort from the difficult feelings one has. For some reason every addict seems to believe that life is supposed to be blissful, joyful, and problem free all of the time. NOT TRUE! Life is a learning journey and there is no way any life will ever have complete peace all of the time. This world is filled with problems from relational to humanitarian. It might seem simplistic but one of the greatest battles to fighting addiction is for an addict to first come to the understanding that life will have challenges and will not always “feel” good all of the time. Going by feelings instead of faith or practical knowledge is probably the first mistake any addicted person makes. We all feel and all can be sensitive to one thing or another. Yet, being driven by feelings alone can create a multitude of issues.

Bottom line, we are not meant to be comfortable all of the time. Masking the hard issues in life by using a substance or situation only stops a person from receiving the life lesson they need to grow up as a human being. What is the result? Stunted growth; especially spiritual growth.

So what about the pleasure centers of the brain? 

Our brains are an amazing part of our creation. The brain is meant to control our bodily functions, guide our lives and record them. We also have pleasure neurotransmitters that are like carriers to the rest of the body. They tell us we are having a good experience or not. Sometimes they can control how we look at life if we allow them to. For instance, someone who has depression usually does not maintain adequate serotonin in the brain and therefore “feels” depressed. An anti-depressant can be given to help the brain maintain serotonin in order to correct the problem. Depending on the person, the same can be accomplished by helping the brain maintain the right level of dopamine. Both of these neurotransmitters are like “feel good” connectors. Those who have issues with neurotransmitter imbalances struggle with every day life and being able to enjoy life’s simple pleasures.

Much to our misunderstanding there is a way out of addictions and what they do to the brain chemistry. The neuro-pathways of the mind can be rewired by meditation, affirmation, and also hypnosis. Spiritual practices can also be just as uplifting as an anti-depressant given that the practice is created as a good habit in life. There is a way out! If you struggle with addictions of any kind you can correct the imbalances in your brain that life has created and actually overcome the addictions that plague you. Also, learning how to deal and cope with life’s setbacks is a real important part of the process. Dedication and desire come into play because without these nothing else will work out. If you really want out of the addiction trap the good news is there is one! The decision that you must make is if your dedication and desire are strong enough to really work on making the necessary changes. Often if a person experiences enough pain created by their addiction it can be enough to create a strong desire to change and heal.

Your life is waiting ahead of you! Why not consider making the change from being trapped in a nowhere life to really living the life you have been given! If you need help in this area, please call and find out how you can overcome your addictions!

++IMPORTANT Note: Detox from any substance such as a drug or alcohol is a very serious process and should not be attempted alone. Please seek medical attention before beginning any other process or along side a new process. Your overall health must be assessed. Remember, if you have been altered for a long period of time your entire body has been altered down to a cellular level as well. 

Loving you from here,

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry, PhD.  832-484-8306

Life Lessons by Jenine Marie 

Freedom is Not Always Just About Our Country but Also About Humanity

36404822_10156759836734255_1300871849369927680_nOn this day where we celebrate freedom I can’t help thinking about those who live in a prison no one seems to understand or often recognize. I’m talking about DEPRESSION. No matter how free we express we are on the outside or in our country, if there is a battle going on inside we are never free. Our out side will always reflect what is happening on the inside. Depression is a dark prison of the thoughts, emotions, and sometimes complicated brain chemistry. Not everyone wants to talk about it or admit they have it. It’s like it has become an embarrassment to say “I feel depressed”. Its not a situation where someone can just say, “Be positive” or “Cheer up”. It just does not work that way. No matter how we believe it got there; whether demonically influenced, chemical imbalance, deep grief or sadness, chemical addictions, or some sort of hole inside that never seems to be filled, it does not take away from the truth. DEPRESSION KILLS LIFE and that is the truth. Armies are not only just ones that fight for our constitutional freedoms in our land, but armies are also those who fight for emotional , mental, and soul freedom too. They are the army of God and those who are enlightened enough to realize and accept that we are all a part of one another. When one is sitting in darkness, we ALL do, whether we want to admit this or not. We are the hands, feet, mouth, face, and experience of God. I can’t help but wonder when our true armies of the soul will arise and help peace and healing be the norm instead of the opposite. I pray it soon. I pray it swiftly. I pray it now. No one should sit in a dark place, EVER. We are born free and meant to live that way. Our peace is in the serenity that God brings inside of us and the truth that we can all heal one another…..if we truly want to. Please WANT to. Amen

Loving you from here,

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries LLC

Virtual Therapist Network 

832-484-8306

Narcissism in a “Nutshell”

downloadBefore I start this post I have to ask you to pardon the pun in the title. It is not meant to be humorous, but it more describes the life of one who is closely connected to a narcissist. It makes a person feel nuts and also shrinks them down to a shell of a person. It’s a volatile connection that makes a person feel crazy inside and out, and can also be very dangerous depending on the type of narcissist.

A narcissist is a person who has no capacity to love, lacks real true empathy, and can be very demeaning. I read one woman’s article that likened the connection to “rape of the soul”. Paul describes a narcissist in his letter to Timothy when he spoke of a type of people in the last days.  He also gives us direction regarding them. He says, “Have nothing to do with such people. ”

2 Timothy 3: 2-5

 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive,disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good,  treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God  having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.”

The word narcissist comes from the name Narcissus in Greek Mythology. According to legend, Narcissus was a prideful person and hated all of those who loved him. Once taken to a pool of water to witness his reflection he had fallen in love with himself so much that he refused to leave his own image until he died. [2]

Psychology coined the word narcissist in that the personality disorder is of one who is prideful and hate those who love them because they can not love anyone else. The Mayo Clinic quotes some of the personality traits of a narcissist as determined by the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Illness). Some of these are:

A sense of entitlement, exaggerated sense of importance, requires admiration, takes advantage of others, unwilling to recognize the needs of others, (lacks empathy), believe themselves to be superior. [1] A narcissist is in love with only themselves and can not relate to giving real love to others. Narcissist/Sociopaths can be very dangerous in that they are apt to create and do evil to others. They can spin a person’s head around just by interacting with them.

Narcissists love attention and will do anything to bring it to themselves. They will dazzle you with their charm and then destroy you with their anger and brash ways, only to dazzle you again. Bad situations in your life with this person will always be YOUR fault in their mind and will make you feel that is true. A narcissist can be double minded and say one thing but do another. They can also say one thing and then contradict what they said right afterward to make you feel nuts. This person will have no compassion for you and will try to cause you to feel as though everything you do is wrong. Interacting with them will cause you to feel like you are responsible for the world’s unhappiness. They gain power and their worth by crushing others and need to do this in order to get their narcissistic supply.

They will back stab and triangulate you with other people in order to create drama and chaos. You will wonder why people around you seem to not like you. It’s because the narcissist has spoken poorly of you in their need to set you up for a painful experience. They truly thrive on the pain of others.

This is a real illness and there is NO cure. You will always know when you have been lured by one of these people because all of a sudden your life will seem out of control from chaos you can’t explain. If you meet someone like this, RUN! Nothing is worth the pain they create in the lives of others. God and God alone can deal with them, so please, do not try to “fix them”. You can’t.

Why am I writing about this? Because I know what it is like to have encountered people like this. In fact, I know what it is like to encounter a sociopath. Believe me, when you do, you know it. This person will screw your head on backwards and turn your guts inside out. They will stalk you, make you look bad, slander you, cause you to think you are the one who is crazy, flawed, or messed up. You will doubt your own judgement and your life will spin out of control.

If you are in a relationship like this, please seek out the help of a professional in order to be released from them. That is your hope, and hope in God. He will show the way and will empower you to heal afterward. In Him, you are in good hands. There is hope for YOU.

I want to pray for you :

Dear God, help those effected by narcissistic people to see them for who they are. Open their eyes and help their hearts. Provide for them safe escape and bring them to a place of healing of the heart and soul. Send them a person to lean on and surround them with peace, love, and acceptance. We thank You, Lord, for all You are and the healing You provide, in Jesus’ name. Amen.

In love, healing, and peace,

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

800-421-1765

Jenine Marie Coaching

 

 

 

[1]Mayo Clinic. Narcissistic Personality Disorder. 2016. Retrieved from: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/basics/symptoms/con-20025568

[2]Wikipedia contributors. “Narcissus (mythology).” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, 16 Dec. 2016. Web. 16 Dec. 2016.

Freedom from Guilt and Shame

canstockphoto11547372-300x199It’s a miracle that we get through this life as an intact person when we are attacked almost daily with the haunting of the things which have occurred in our lives. It’s not just about the things which have happened TO us, or things we have done to others, but even more about the way we handle the aftermath. Honestly, we often treat ourselves much worse than others have ever treated us. It’s sad when we do this because it is completely unnecessary. We live in a society that fosters more insecurity and self hatred than one person could even consume in a lifetime. Our hope is that we do have relief from the effects of what happens around us in Jesus.

Regardless to how things transpired; whether someone did something to you or you did something to someone else, you don’t have to live with two of the more devastating life draining conditions we humans tend to take upon ourselves. The two that I am speaking about are guilt and shame. First let me clarify what these two things are:

Guilt:

Guilt is where we take upon ourselves condemnation for something we have done or perceived we have done. Guilt attacks our “right standing“, or righteousness.

Shame:

Shame is when we take upon ourselves condemnation regarding how we see ourselves as a person. Shame attacks our identity. It steals from us the truth about “who we are and whose we are”.

One of the key words here is “condemnation”. When we are in Christ Jesus there is no more condemnation in our lives. He has sacrificed already for our forgiveness.

Romans 8:1, “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus…”

The Real Accuser:

So who was it that really told you that you are guilty and should suffer shame? Don’t think this dilemma was your original creation. We have an enemy who is the enemy of God. This enemy is Satan. The thing you need to know and remember about this enemy is that he is the liar of all liars and has no power. Jesus is the one with all of the power. Satan just wants you to think he has it. If we look at the situation from the end we can see where Satan really stands. This is Satan’s position. He is conquered and powerless!

Revelation: 12: (9-11) “And the great dragon was hurled down—the ancient serpent called the devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him. And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and  of His Christ. For the accuser of our brothers and sisters has been thrown down, he who accuses them day and night before our God. They have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony…”.

As you can see, Satan is a defeated foe. Jesus tells you that you are saved, free, and forgiven. These are the edifications that come from your Savior. These are the things that come from the Holy Spirit; the spirit of truth. So who are you going to believe? If you want forgiveness and to walk in right standing then ask Jesus for it! If you want to be reminded of whose you are then ask Jesus to reaffirm your position with Him! There is no reason to walk in any guilt or shame in this world. They are lies that come from the evil one and they are NOT your position or identity! Let Jesus wash you with his love and forgiveness. Let Him be your “truth” because He IS the truth.

1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness”.

As you can see, all that is asked for is a confession. Jesus is faithful and will forgive us when we are in need of it.

A Prayer for You! 

Dear Jesus, Please reveal to me any wrong doing on my part and forgive me for my actions. I confess those things to You now. Forgive me for not walking in the truth and for being harder on myself than I should. I release to You now, any thoughts of guilt regarding actions I have done or have perceived to have done. I also release to you any beliefs that place shame upon me. This is not my identity! I ask You to remove them completely from me now. Help me to see myself in “right standing” and also to see myself as a recipient of your grace, mercy, and forgiveness. I am Your child; a child of the King. I accept no other description within my conscience. Thank You for loving me and for allowing me to walk in freedom! Amen and amen!

 

Hebrews 10:22, “Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water.”

Walking free with you,

Pastor Jenine Marie Howry

Jenine Marie Coaching

800-421-1765