Inner Integrity

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I’ve always liked the word “integrity”. I like the meaning even more. The word integrity is defined as “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles, moral uprightness.” In my world inner integrity is one of the most important things a person can consider. It means being honest with ourselves and standing strong on the principles we deeply believe in and strive to adhere to. We might fall short a time or maybe two, but integrity as a compass will always drive us to the most honest outer experience we could have.

In a world where we deal with an element of “fakehood” every single day, integrity is a treasure both inside and outside of ourselves. Back in my earliest spirituality days my biggest prayer was always to be my true self and honest about who that is. When I fall short of myself, I know I have nowhere to look accept myself. The best part of this reality is no one else can determine who or what I should be. No one else can determine my moral compass or how I react, act, or deal with my outer world. There can be plenty of opinions of what I might be or not be, but bottom line, my full identity belongs to myself and God. Only the great Universal and most loving spiritual force inside and out can ever truly have the highest opinion of who and whose I am.

Other opinions are just plain irrelevant. Who else but God can see the inner-most working of my heart? I always loved the guiding words, “If I should wake and find myself sitting in darkness, it will be my God who will shine the Light and guide me through.”¬† What or who else could ever be my true compass? The miracle is, if God is my only true compass then no one else is qualified to completely guide me anywhere. God inside of me can guide me and qualify me. When I fall short, Grace will qualify me. When I forget my compass Forgiveness will qualify me. When I make willful mistakes then Discipline will also qualify me. When I am lost and alone then Love will qualify me.

This way, no one else can determine my rightness or wrongness. God and I determine this. Lofty thoughts, I know. Sometimes lofty thoughts are needed. Sometimes they are life savers in the making. After all, our thoughts create and guide. Since this is true then lofty thoughts will guide to higher places. I’d rather be there than any inner low place of less integrity.

Life is precious; created for us and also by us. Time is irrelevant, really, but linear time is not something to waste on what is less than what any of us deserve in life. Inner integrity tells us what we do or don’t deserve. I’m thinking I deserve the best and I am sticking with that thought. I know it will drive me to the best. It can’t help it, because, remember, our thoughts create.

Loving you from here,

Dr Jenine Marie

Here is Your Weekly Wisdom!

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Staying away from those who cause chaos in life is not a lack of love, it is a presence of wisdom.

For some reason we are often under the impression that we have to put up with others junk for the sake of love. Love also carries wisdom. There are times we need to walk away from those who disagree, cause turmoil, or don’t carry our same values and morals. This does not mean we don’t love as God would want us to love, it means we are wise enough to recognize that to have them in our lives causes too much unbalance, lack of peace, torment to ourselves, and life becomes unproductive.

Not everyone will agree with one another. The Bible says when “two disagree they can not walk together.” This is not a statement of a lack of love but the presence of wisdom. It’s amazing how many people from the past pop up when they perceive we are doing well. Don’t be fooled. People change, but they don’t dramatically change from who they were before. Love yourself enough to discern who belongs in your inner circle and who does not. Like attracts like. Attract the best for your own life by allowing those who are most like you to draw near and others to fall away. We all are a part of the same humanity. You might have to deal with their sense of rejection, but it’s better than compromising your integrity.

#LoveYourSelf  #HaveWisdom

Loving you from here,

Dr. Rev Jenine Marie Howry

PS BE GOOD TO YOURSELF THIS UPCOMING WEEK!

 

Loving Yourself While Loving God

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You were not meant to be a sacrificial lamb but one who holds onto the lamb who died to give you an abundant life. God never called you to sacrifice but to love yourself so that you can love others in return.

Learn a lesson from this teaching about staying in integrity to that love. Let your “yes” stay a yes and your “no” to remain a no when it comes to virtue, morality, and Christ light. Watch!

 

Love you from here,

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry

Staying In Integrity While Dealing With Narcissistic People

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One of the more difficult people to deal with in relationship are those who are narcissists. For some reason this has become a buzz phrase to attach to anyone who seems to be “in to themselves”, but a true narcissist is more than just a cliche. A narcissist can spin someone’s head around so fast it happens before they know what hit them. One of the traits a narcissist will use on their victim is to not stay in integrity with what they have done or said. Basically this means they will say something one moment and then later, or even in the next five minutes contradict what they said or even deny saying it.

This is enough to make anyone frustrated and upset. So, if you are one who deals with this now, don’t despair even if you are reacting in harsh ways. You are trying to make sense of something that does not make sense and you are standing up for your self preservation.

The Bible says that a “double minded man is unstable in all of his ways.” When someone flip flops between their words that is called being double minded. That person is the one who is unstable, not YOU. You can become unstable through the interaction, which is the point of this post. I want to feed some mantras into you.

Affirm this:

“I know what I know and I know what I heard.”

“I matter and my thoughts, ideas, feelings, and opinions matter.”

“I will stay in integrity with myself even when others around me are not.”

“I will be true to who I am and what I know to be true about me.”

“I will not blame myself for others actions but will only take responsibility for my responses to them.”

” I will seek peace with myself and live in that peace even when there is chaos around me.”

“I will confide in someone I trust and ask for help when life becomes too hard to bare.”

You might come up with some of your own. After having had lived with a narcissist before, I know the trauma that can be taken on by someone else’s lack of balance and inconsistency. Narcissistic abuse can be emotional, mental, and sometimes physical. It causes what is termed a “trauma bond” which alters brain chemistry. Most of the time the trauma bond begins in childhood with those who interact with us and around us. The relationship to an out of balance person becomes our “normal” and so that is all we understand until we experience better.

Keeping in your own integrity will keep you in balance. Stay true to who you are and what you want in life. Have trust in God and trust in the love He made you from. Let God guide you through the storms of life. Listen carefully for that guidance and stick to what you know and understand about someone. People teach you who they are in the beginning. Always believe them….

Loving you from here,

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry

832-484-8306 (If you are dealing with narcissistic abuse)